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I have a similar situation. But it is useless to ask for help from such books, and you should pay more attention to what others are talking about. It has a lot to do with your personality, and if copying the book is a mechanical conversation, it won't continue.
In fact, conversation is a kind of communication, and it is necessary to care more about other people's affairs. Learn to listen and respond to the other person when appropriate, maybe by nodding, maybe by simply saying "yes" or "yes", so that the other person knows that you are listening carefully and are interested in what the other person is saying. The other person will take the initiative to lead the conversation.
If you are more interested in what the other person is saying, you will not feel that you have nothing to say, and the other person will be happy to tell you. Once the conversation starts, once you get into a good vibe, you won't run out of words.
Maybe I'm saying it very simply, this is something you need to practice on a regular basis. Interaction is the best way to talk.
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Book recommendations on communication skills: "Nonviolent Communication", "The Art of Communication", "The Pyramid Principle: The Logic of Thinking, Expressing and Solving Problems", "Critical Conversations:
How to Communicate Effectively", "The Communication Bible: Listening, Speaking, Reading and Writing All-round Communication Skills".
1. "Nonviolent Communication".
Nonviolent Communication is a book published by Huaxia Publishing House in January 2009 by Marshall Luxemburg. The famous Dr. Marshall Luxemburg discovered a way of communication in which people can communicate and live in harmony with each other, and that is "nonviolent communication".
2. "The Art of Communication".
The Art of Communication: Seeing Inside and Out (Illustrated 12th Edition)" has been the author of The Art of Communication: Seeing Inside and Out of People (Illustrated 12th Edition) to become the best book on the theory and practice of interpersonal relationships.
The Art of Communication: Seeing Inside and Out of People (Illustrated 12th Edition) is both in-depth, extensive, and complete, with a particular focus on gender and cultural perspectives throughout the book.
3. The Pyramid Principle: The Logic of Thinking, Expressing and Solving Problems
The pyramid principle is a kind of logical thinking, expression and normative action that is focused, logical and clear. The basic structure of the pyramid is: the central idea is clear, the conclusion comes first, the above is unified, the classification is grouped, and the logic is progressive.
Important first and then secondary, global first and then details, conclusion first and then cause, result first and then process.
4. "Critical Dialogues: How to Communicate Effectively".
Critical Conversations: How to Communicate Effectively is a 2022 book published by Machinery Industry Press, written by Joseph Greaney, Corey Patterson, Ron McMillan, Al Schweitzler, and Emily Gregory.
Based on more than 20 years of follow-up research on more than 100,000 people around the world, the author's team has selected a set of effective methods and techniques that are recognized by everyone as dialogue masters. With these methods and techniques, no matter how difficult the situation is, you will be able to face it with ease, achieve an invincible career, and have a harmonious and happy life!
5. The Communication Bible
The Communication Bible is a book published by Beijing United Publishing Company in 2015, written by British writer Nikki Stanton, and translated by Luo Muqian. This book is designed to help readers improve their "communication skills" or "business communication skills".
The content explains in detail the skills required for all possible communication situations, such as talking, meeting, presentation, presentation, letter writing, reporting, questionnaires, e-mails, etc.
It also explains non-verbal communication, listening, reading, visual communication, and how to use various visual aids, etc., to help you overcome all communication challenges and have a good "self-development" and "career development".
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Books on the Rapid Decline of Social Language:
1, "Eloquence Determines Life", the author is Tony Jerry.
2. "The Complete Book of Eloquence Success Methods", the author is Wu Chengwei.
3, "Eloquence Changes Life", the author is Chen Lei.
4, "Li Ao has something to say", the author is Li Ao.
5, "The Human Nature You Must Know", the one who knows the omen is Liu Yong.
6. "Language Communication", the author is Liu Yanchun.
7. "How to Win Friends and Influence Others" by Dale Carnegie.
8. "Don't Eat Alone", written by Keith Farage.
9. "Influence", written by Robert B. Kidini.
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1."Nonviolent Communication".
Nonviolent communication guides us to transform the way we talk and listen. Instead of reacting reflexively, we recognize our observations, feelings, and desires, and consciously use language. We express ourselves honestly and clearly, and we respect and listen to others.
In this way, we can hear the deep voices of our own and others' hearts in every interaction. At the same time, it prompts us to look closely, identify the actions and events that are affecting us, and make clear requests.
Nonviolent communication reminds us to focus on each other's observations, feelings, needs, and requests. It encourages listening, fosters respect and love, and enables us to connect and help each other. Some people use nonviolent communication to understand themselves, some use it to improve relationships, and still others use it to improve their work.
Around the world, nonviolent communication is used to mediate arguments and conflicts at various levels.
2."Difficult Talk".
In difficult conversations, finding the right facts is never the point of the conversation.
The two sides of the conversation are arguing about their different perceptions, interpretations, and values. We are always in extreme terms assuming that we are right and are in a hurry to state this opinion. Arguments can stop us from exploring the stories, truths, intentions, and faults of others—we usually start by making an ordinary but extreme hypothesis.
All our opinions and emotions are based on the same assumption: I am right and you are wrong. We often do not verify the correctness of this assumption.
Once we start arguing, our ability to understand the other person's perspective is limited, and we tend to conclude the conversation in a transactional manner. As a result, the dialogue has become a confrontation between the "bottom line" of the two sides' thinking.
We no longer need to be obsessed with proving ourselves right, and shift the purpose of the conversation to understanding the perceptions, interpretations, and values of both sides on this issue.
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The quality of 12reads' books is nothing to say, and this "12 Must-Read Articles for Communication and Persuasion" is no exception. Note that this book, unlike other communication books on this list, is only available from its official website.
Two of the top 10 communication books: "Influence".
In this book, psychologist Dr. Robert B. Cialdini explains why some people are very persuasive and we are always gullible to be deceived. The 6 psychological secrets hidden behind the impulsive obedience to the behavior of others are at the root of it all. Those who are masters of persuasion always use them skillfully to make us obey.
Three of the top 10 communication books: "Thinking, Fast and Slow".
In the book, Kahneman takes us on an ultimate journey of thinking. He believes that our brains make decisions in two ways: fast and slow. The commonly used unconscious "System 1", which relies on emotions, memories and experiences to make quick judgments, is well-informed and allows us to react quickly to the situation at hand.
But System 1 is also easy to fall for by clinging to the principle that "seeing is believing" and allowing illusions such as loss aversion and optimism bias to lead us to bad choices. Conscious "System 2" analyzes and solves questions by mobilizing attention.
The fourth of the top 10 communication books: "People who can talk, even the old people are not too bad".
Liang Shiqiu always has a peaceful and open-minded state of mind, with great interest to brighten the rich and interesting life, taste the infinite taste of life, and do pleasant articles, his humorous, elegant, sharp, tolerant language not only communicates people's hearts, but also reflects the otherworldly ideological sentiment and cultural accomplishment, which makes people feel friendly and interesting.
Of all the qualities that determine great leadership, emotional intelligence is twice as important as other abilities. Moreover, emotional intelligence is not only decisive for leaders, but also for people at all levels and in all roles.
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1. Speak well.
The core idea of this book is "five-dimensional discourse", and the analysis of various communication scenarios is also a very interesting and worthwhile point of view.
2. How to listen and how to speak.
It is also a very practical communication guide, and the book is broadly divided into three topics: speaking, listening, and conversation. Detailed analysis and practical advice are given for each scenario.
3. The art of communication.
It is divided into three parts: "seeing into people", "seeing outside people" and "looking at people", from the three directions of the communicator's own psychology, communication tools (language, expressions, gestures, posture), and interpersonal relations, it comprehensively analyzes the factors that will affect communication, and gives scientific suggestions, so that we can consciously stimulate and strengthen the factors that are conducive to our communication.
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"You Can Talk to Anyone", by Song Hexiang;
160 Eloquence Skills to Move People's Hearts", edited by Sun He;
There is an ability called "speaking", edited by Zhou Fang;
will do more to be able to say", edited by Zhang Haixiang.
The book only provides you with skills, and you mainly rely on your own practice, talk more, talk more.
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There is an authoritative "Yu Shiwei - Effective Communication".
and Kim Jong-kun "Kim Jong-kun - Effective Communication".
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