When did you suddenly feel like your family didn t understand you?

I feel that the older I get, the stronger the feeling of not being understood. Every boy should have a camouflage dream of joining the army, and I am the same, so I discussed with them to join the army, but at first I didn't agree, I felt that being a soldier was hard and unproductive. It's better to go to college.

In the end, I was forced to serve in desperation (I was also young and vigorous, and I was forced to force them to agree, and now they all think that it was a mistake for me to be a soldier). A few years in the army is really the happiest years I've ever had, although there are some setbacks in between, but the road of life is not so smooth. The next year, I was ready to want to retire from the army, and they didn't let me quit, they forced me to stay in the team, I think I haven't gone along with them all these years, this time I just listened to them, and I decided to stay in the team, this time staying in the team is definitely my stupidest decision, and some of the things that happened after staying in the team are really disgusting to me.

Later, I retired again, and I didn't want to retire, thinking that it was good to be in the army, I was in charge of food and housing, and I still had a salary, how good and stable it was. However, I have to return to society after all, I am just a small soldier, I don't have big ideals, I dedicated the most precious five years of my youth to the barracks, and now I just want to go back to the place to be an ordinary citizen. In the end, he did everything he could to quit the army.

Before going to college, I also prayed for my parents to understand me, and then I found that it was not a person of the same era, so I just communicated with my peers, and after I went to college, I began to understand my parents, and I could do everything by myself, and I began to help them, and I hoped that all the big and small things could be settled by myself for the rest of my life, and I didn't need to let my parents worry about it.

I had my period, and they still asked me to carry the heaviest stuff and let me drive. I said I had a stomachache, and my dad said that people don't go to work anymore when they have their periods? It's hard for me to imagine that these words were the words of my father, who used to raise me and spoil me.

Some time ago, I thought I was pregnant, my husband told me to take care of myself, my parents still let me drive every day, let me carry heavy things, only when I encounter something that I can't eat, my mother will remind me not to eat, don't swim in the sea, but when it comes to washing dishes, I am asked to wash the dishes.

The first child I gave birth to was my last name, which is my father's last name; I clearly remember that when I gave birth to a child, I wanted to have an obstetrics and gynecology plan, and when I wanted to get anesthetics, no one in the family spoke, and no one helped me find a doctor for anesthesia! Then I had a baby, and except for my husband, who was watching me all the time, our whole family went to see the child. Then my parents started to ignore me, ignoring all my physical and psychological discomforts, and I told my friends, and they told me that because my children were small, it was normal for them to care a lot.

But since then, they have really ...... me like a non-biological daughter

It was about January this year, my aunt's son (that is, my cousin) introduced me to a blind date, is my cousin's friend and is a school, this blind date has good grades, good family environment, has a stable job, this thing our whole family knows, I was hindered by my cousin's face and the blind date to add friends, at that time my idea was to contact first, if appropriate, because I am only 21 years old this year, the junior college, the current college has been successful, I didn't want to get married so early or anything, but they thought girls should get married early. Very depressed.

I raised a cat sent by a friend at school, there has been half a year, I asked my dad to pick me up during the summer vacation, by the way I brought the cat back to facilitate raising, in the half year of raising a cat, I did not take the initiative to find my dad to have any money other than living expenses, I live 1500 per month, sometimes my dad will send me a red envelope during the holidays, I spend the money for raising cats I have saved my own money, take the cat home, the next day at noon, my dad said how much he doesn't like cats, don't like to associate with people who raise cats and dogs, Why do you say you can't raise a cat, if you have a cat, I won't recognize you as a daughter!

Nowadays, the economy is developing very fast, so almost all people are willing to live in their own space. Watching TV and playing with mobile phones, the family faces the problem of food, clothing, housing and transportation, and of course they don't understand the lifestyle. The generation gap also exists in Bunsen.

More communication will promote the distance between each other and get to know each other better. In fact, everyone will encounter such a situation, people will always encounter twists and turns, people will always have low tides, people will always have times when they are not understood, people will always have times to be lower, these times are precisely the most critical times in life, because everyone will encounter twists and turns, and most people can not cross this threshold, you can pass, you will win.

Maybe what you mean by understanding refers to your family's constant acknowledgment of your thoughts, and you feel that they are constantly beating you, no matter what you do, they don't know you, in fact, what I want to say is that what your family brings to you is not necessarily to understand you, and sometimes they can often encourage you, why do you say that, maybe you have your own ideas and practices in a certain area, and you can find them according to your original ideas, without asking for their opinions.

You can think about it, let's say that when you reach their age, you have experienced too many ups and downs, when your children need your help, how will you look at your next generation, of course, this is just empathy, from another point of view, they want you to win, which parent doesn't want their children to get better and better, they recognize people from the attitude, is to clarify that they want you to fight for it, when you yourself make results, can they not believe you? If they don't understand you, maybe it's because they want you to work hard, exercise yourself, feel the blockage of life, no matter who is doing something, it can't be smooth, because they have experienced it, they know how it feels, of course, no matter what you do, they also want you to get the benefits from it, provided that you must rely on yourself.

When you see through this, it is clear that you are mature, maybe you should understand that we can only rely on myself in this world, what your parents give is the background, and what you have beaten down is called Jiangshan, and your own strength is really strong, and I am a sycamore, and the phoenix will come to live. In fact, some of the things in Douyin are really reasonable, don't blame your family for not understanding you, you have to improve yourself first, make your ideas through ideals, and let them see your results, at this time I don't believe they will help you.

Finally, on the issue of the generation gap, I would like to say that you should stick to your ideas and at the same time separate the ideas in the family, their rebuttals may not all be right, but they can definitely help you. In the same environment, everyone will suffer a lot of criticism in life and society, provided that you can avoid these criticisms and pursue your own ideas, as long as it is up to you. Maybe what I'm saying isn't right, I don't know what your practice is like, but I'm replying to you with my thoughts, because I've experienced the same feelings.

I think you have to communicate more with your family, as long as you communicate properly, they will understand you and your mentality will improve.

Some people feel that they are not understood by their families, and I think that this psychological state should first find out their own reasons, not always blame the people in the family, and at the same time actively communicate with their families.

At this time, you should communicate more with your friends, because your friends are your age and will definitely understand you, and then you can also think about the problem from the perspective of your family, which may alleviate a lot.

To relax yourself, the second is that you should not care about what others think, you should draw your own appearance, and you can make your mental state better and better.

Something like this often happens in our lives. Maybe I did some very good things, but when I got home, my parents criticized me and felt that I shouldn't be nosy, which would make me feel very aggrieved and not know how to do it, as if there was a kind of estrangement between the whole person and the world.

You should change your mind, and everyone's thoughts are different, and it is impossible for everyone to understand themselves, so don't have such a mentality.

Dealing with a situation where you have a bad relationship with your family can be a complex and challenging process. Here are some suggestions to help you deal with this situation:

1.Communication and understanding: Try to have an open and honest conversation with your family about your feelings and concerns.

Listen to their perspectives and opinions and try to understand each other's positions and needs. Through communication, a better foundation for mutual understanding and joint problem-solving can be established.

2.Seek help from a neutral third party: If you feel unable to communicate directly with your family or resolve the issue, consider seeking help from a neutral third party, such as a family counselor, psychologist, or other professional.

They can provide objective perspectives and tips to help you build healthier relationships with your family.

3.Set boundaries and protect yourself: If your relationship with your family has been bad, you might consider setting some boundaries to protect yourself. This may include reducing the amount of time you spend with them, limiting topics or areas of action with them, and ensuring your own physical and mental health.

4.Seek support networks: Connect with other friends, relatives, or support organizations to seek their support and understanding. They can provide emotional support, advice, and encouragement to help you deal with the challenges of having a bad relationship with your family.

5.Self-growth and development: While dealing with a bad relationship with your family, you can also focus on your own personal growth and development.

The most important thing to remember is that dealing with a bad relationship with your family is a long-term process and there is no one-size-fits-all solution. Every family and individual has different circumstances and needs. Try to be patient, understanding, and respectful, while also being mindful of your own health and well-being.

In the face of the incomprehension of relatives in life, there are many people who may have some disputes because of this, or will endure silently and will not say anything because of this, so what will I do for me, so let's take a look.

The first point is that we should learn to tolerate the incomprehension of our loved ones. In fact, some of the things that our relatives do to us in life often have some incomprehension, after all, there will indeed be a certain misunderstanding between us and our relatives, we are different times, and the era in which we were born is different from him, so our insights will be very different from theirs. After all, as long as he doesn't stop me from doing this, even if they don't understand, then it won't have any impact on me, and the most fearful thing is that they don't understand, and they will stop me there, then I will feel a headache.

The second point is to explain the pros and cons of this matter to them. In fact, many people will have this mentality of seeking advantages and avoiding disadvantages, if I can let him know that I can get so many benefits by doing this, or that I can avoid so many disadvantages, I think they will not understand. After all, as long as we analyze this matter in place, have a certain basis, and can stand up, then when we look at it from their point of view, they will naturally agree with our ideas and our practices, and they will not not understand us.

So the key is how you tell them, how you explain it to them, which is really important, and it's been explained in place, so that they don't have an incomplete view of this matter, so that they can better support you.

Number 3, learn to accept. The reason why we put this acceptance last, which means that we can't understand everything we do. So there are a lot of things, they can't accept us, they don't want to support us, they don't want to recognize us, so in this case, you should learn to accept, don't resist or refute, just be silent.

Psychoanalysis: Hello! It's sad not to understand the people close to you, and it makes people feel a little lonely and helpless, hugging you who can't get the understanding of your family.

There are times when we have to separate our families from ourselves and believe in ourselves. No matter what, they are not you, and they don't realize that your mood is normal. But we can't turn a blind eye to our own emotions, and listen too much to others' words and ignore our own emotions, which is the worst for ourselves.

It is very wise for you to seek counseling with a counselor to consult your own situation, and it is a way to take responsibility for yourself. You're doing a great job. Don't worry about your family and friends, because they don't have to understand you.

Everyone has their own unique history, so respect their ideas. At the same time, you should love yourself and respect your emotions, feelings.

Firm in your own subjective position, your own right and wrong, you don't need to be judged by family, friends, and others. Follow the path you think is right, time is silent, but it will give you an answer to what you insist on is right or wrong. Best wishes!