What s the funniest friend you ve ever posted in your friend s circle of friends?

My best friend posted a circle of friends before the exam, and the content is like this: My final review status, (flipping book) Ma Dongmei, (co-book) Ma Whatmei? (Flip book) Ma Dongmei, (combined book) Ma Dong what?

Flipbook) Ma Dongmei, (combined book) What Dongmei? I think it's hilarious when I think about it now.

The saddest thing in life is to be abandoned by my parents, and the circle of friends posted by friends is really fun, is this my biological parents?

When I was a child, my brother always cheated me out of money, and once he asked me if I wanted a little shell? I gave him fifty dollars, and in the evening, he literally brought me a bunch of little shells, which I regarded as treasures for many years, until one Chinese New Year, when I saw pistachios.

One of the funniest pieces of information in the circle of friends, the water in the dormitory was out, and my roommate came back excitedly and said to me: My aunt's blood and her aunt's blood are fused together in the toilet Are we sisters who have been separated for a long time.

That night, a girl came knocking on the door, and my mother opened the door and asked, "Is there something wrong?" The girl hurriedly asked

Auntie, have you ever seen a dog? My mom turned around and gestured to me lying on the couch.

Call the police, I'm so cute-looking foul."

He went to buy food, and the boss said that there was no more convenience bags, and then the goods were sent to a circle of friends, and I was contracted to laugh for a month.

I just wanted to wipe the keyboard, but I didn't expect to send the fishing news to the DingTalk group. ”

First of all, I knew that wiping the keyboard was risky, so I turned off the computer monitor first (and later learned that it didn't work). Then the operation was as fierce as a tiger, and after wiping the keyboard, he put on headphones and happily played a certain sound.

About 10 minutes later, I vaguely heard someone in the office calling my name, and I didn't realize anything at the time, thinking: maybe the same name? (It's outrageous in hindsight).

Knowing that my colleague behind me called me loudly and shook my chair: "DingTalk! I asked with a serious face, "What's wrong?" While silently opening DingTalk.

Not to mention that in the DingTalk group of more than 1,000 people, he posted many "mysterious**" messages in a row, and also sent screenshots of the desktop ......Outrageously, in the screenshot, I happened to be discussing **and** with my friends in the morning.

I wanted to change the group note, but I accidentally changed the group name".

Once when I went to the company to join the company, the HR lady led me through the whole process and introduced me, pulled me into the company's general group, and said that I remember to change my ID + employee number.

I immediately clicked on the ** setting to change it, but I didn't look at it carefully at the time, thinking it was corrected. As a result, when someone in the group called a "? "I opened my phone and found that I had changed the group name.

Seeing my name + number in the group name that is particularly conspicuous, I really want to resign on the spot. Now the whole company knows what the name of the new employee is. Fortunately, Miss HR reacted quickly and immediately changed back.

I remember that day I didn't even dare to say anything to anyone, it was so miserable. **。

When you want to fart, it's the quietest time."

The newly opened Internet celebrity drink store does activities, buy one get one free, and I enjoyed two cups alone and it was very delicious. As a result, when it came time to study at night, my stomach began to feel extremely uncomfortable.

The study room is so noisy, and the fart is attacking, I wonder if I secretly let out a fart should not be discovered, right? I don't know why, people are sometimes so unlucky, when you want to secretly fart, the audience suddenly goes silent.

A loud voice "streaked" through the air, and immediately someone began to discuss:

What was the sound just now? "What does it taste like?" ”

Is that you? "Who farted?? ”

Every sentence seemed to shoot me in the heart, and I could only pretend to be calm and read the book without incident. I didn't dare to look at other classmates, for fear of showing my feet.

But after thinking about it,, pee and fart are human nature, and students should understand it......

1.At the same age as a flower, it has grown into a fleshy one!

2.I had just done my homework for five minutes when my phone got jealous, so I coaxed it for two hours.

3.There is always one person who smiles at you and defeats you. For example, the head teacher standing outside the window.

4.Your cheeks are slightly red, especially like a pig's head in the wind.

5.My money was not blown by a strong wind, but it was blown away by a strong wind.

6.People tell me that there is nothing more complicated in this world than love, and I slapped him in the face with a math book.

7.I want to be your sun, warm you when you're happy, and sunburn you when you're unhappy.

8.The best way to ruin a song is to set it to an alarm clock.

9.The most painful love triangle in the world, I love snacks, snacks love fat, fat loves me.

10.I have a fairly high rate of turning heads, and I will look back at people who are good-looking.

11.Staying up late is really harmful to the body, so every time I go to bed late, I will call a late-night snack to make up for it.

12.Finally, I say it again: it's not that I don't fall in love, I don't want anybody.

13.In the future, I hope you can go on well, and I will take the car.

14.Let's not meet anymore, it's tiring to wash your hair, shampoo is expensive.

15.I tried to be a funny person, but then I went off and became a joke.

16.I can't play with my phone anymore, my eyes are not good, and I can't see the money when I open Alipay.

17.I finally got used to my looks, got a haircut, and changed to an ugly method.

18.Good people have to go through 9981 difficulties to become Buddhas, while bad people can become Buddhas as long as they put down their butcher knives.

19.Judging a boy's good or bad taste, fall in love with him, if he refuses, it means that the taste is okay.

20.You must be scolding me because you don't know me well enough, because people who know me want to beat me.

21.Other girls change clothes: lightly untie Luo Shang; I change my clothes: untie the pigs.

22.I'm not a prince, why do girls always think they should be princesses when they meet me!

23.If you don't have enough to eat, you have only one trouble; When you are full, you will have countless troubles.

1. In fact, Tang Seng is also quite sexy, and when he meets someone who doesn't look very good, he is called a donor, and when he meets someone who looks good, he is called a female Bodhisattva.

3. People will change, for example, I used to want to get rich, but now it's different, and now I just want to get rid of poverty!

Fourth, when I was a child, I didn't like to eat, which led to my shortness now; Now I love to eat, which leads to being fat and short. I hugged my chubby self in distress.

Fifth, I have a colleague who is allergic to mutton, and his face is swollen when he eats mutton, so everyone takes him every time he eats skewers, and the more swollen his face is, the more real the mutton in that house.

Sixth, you only see others living proudly on the surface, but you don't know that others are also thriving behind the scenes.

Seventh, others fall in love by looks, routines, and money. And I'm much simpler, relying only on the other party's blindness.

8. I am a person who either doesn't do it, or I do my best. So I chose not to do it because I couldn't do it well!

Nine, in order not to let my son become a rich second generation, being criticized and looked at differently, I will be poor if I am poor.

10. When you were a child, you were called a turtle grandson by your grandmother, a rabbit cub by your mother, and a single dog when you grew up.

Ten. 1. From today on, as long as it is my friend, whoever has no money will squeak with me, and I can tell you how I spent my days without money.

Ten. 2. When you encounter unlucky things in life, don't be depressed, cheer up, you have to believe that more unlucky is still to come.

1.Today I met a friend on the street, and he asked me, "How long has it been since you used hand cream?"

I thought about it for a moment and said, "Well, I guess it's been twenty minutes." He shook his head and said:

You're not hand cream, it's sulfuric acid! ”

2.Eating with a colleague, he likes to eat chili peppers, so he puts a bottle of chili sauce on the table. I asked curiously, "What is this?" He replied, "This is my wallet." ”

3.My nephew kept talking today, and I couldn't help it, so I casually asked, "You keep talking, aren't your voice tired?" My nephew looked at me in amazement and said, "Auntie, don't you know?" Silence is more tiring. ”

4.I went hiking with my colleagues on the weekend, and when I got to the top of the mountain, my colleague sighed: "The scenery here is so beautiful!"

Isn't it just two hours? I laughed and said, "Because we're walking too slowly."

5.A friend asked me, "What's your favorite animal?" I thought for a moment and said, "I guess it's a mosquito." The friend was surprised and asked, "Why?" I laughed: "Because they always provide me with food for free." ”

<><01.You don't have to be **, and no one likes you to be old when you lose weight.

02.For the rest of your life, you will be the one who washes clothes, you who cooks, and you who wash dishes.

03.Do you think it's the trough of your life now, but in fact, you still have a lot of space. Sun Juesheng.

04.Don't expect **, Bajie walked 108,000 miles and didn't lose weight. Moreover, he is also a vegetarian.

05.You do your best, and you might as well be fooled around. So, give up and stop embarrassing yourself.

06.Look at yourself on the scale, is it embarrassing to say that it is my mother's intimate little padded jacket, it is simply a military coat.

** Laundry, cooking, dishwashing, low points in life, eight precepts, vegetarian, give up the scale.

1. Don't say bad things about others in front of me, otherwise I want to say it too.

2. If you use the beauty plan, I will plan it.

3. I think there must be a lot of people who have a crush on me, because after so many years, no one has confessed to me openly!

4. I understand the reason, but I just want to sleep with you.

5. You should be fat with peace of mind, thinness is someone else's business.

6. The first thing I do when I wake up every day is that I want to sleep.

7. People must have a temper in order to have a long ambition.

8. In order to prevent me from spending money indiscriminately this month, I spent all the money in advance.

9, let's break up, in fact, I haven't told you that the love letter of the year was copied by me from Xiaohong next door.

10. Other people's classmates' ** can be used as wallpapers, while my classmates' ** can only be used as emojis.