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Because the kids feel that what they are doing is right. When children do something wrong, they will always be criticized by adults, but when adults criticize, they will always feel very aggrieved, because they feel that what they are doing is right, but adults don't understand them, and those adults not only don't understand but also criticize them, so they will feel very wronged.
Small children'sSelf-esteemIt's also very strong. Children's hearts are still very unsound, so their self-esteem will be stronger than ordinary people, and when adults criticize them, they will feel that their self-esteem has been hurt to a certain extent, so they don't like adults to criticize them very much, sometimes even if they do wrong, they will not admit that they have done wrong, this is actually their self-esteem, they feel that if adults say they are wrong. They won't be able to hold their heads up in front of others, and then others won't be able to play with them.
They don't think what they're doing is wrong. Children's way of thinking is different from adults, they can always see the aspects that adults can't see, and when they do something, they think it's right, but in the eyes of adults, what they're doing is actually wrong, so when adults criticize them, they can't realize their mistakes, on the contrary, they will think that what they're doing is right, adults are wrong, and some children think that they are not children, but real "adults", They feel that as an "adult", even if they do something wrong, they should not be criticized by others.
When children do something wrong and adults criticize them, they will always be very aggrieved and they will feel very unconvinced, in fact, this is because they always feel that what they are doing is right, and those who criticize them think wrongly.
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Because the child doesn't feel that he is doing something wrong, he may just do what he likes to do, so he feels very aggrieved when he is criticized.
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Children are naturally lively, they don't know what is right and what is wrong, children will have a sense of accomplishment after completing something, and at this time adults criticize him, he himself does not know that he is wrong, so he is wronged.
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The reason why a child feels aggrieved when he is criticized is because he does not realize his mistake and he feels that he is right.
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Of course, parents need to be responsible for this situation. There is no child in the world who absolutely does not make mistakes, but in the face of children who are in trouble, the different ways of coping with parents are completely different. Punitive parents often focus on punishment and neglect to use the opportunity of their child's mistakes to help their child gain valuable experience in the growth of argumentation.
Although punishment can sometimes be short-term effective in correcting a child's behavior, it is not due to the child's "self-awareness".
Perhaps out of fear or to escape punishment, the child is afraid to do so for a while, but he is unable to truly reflect on himself and his actions, let alone grow from his mistakes.
Another consequence of verbal abuse and punishment is that it lowers a child's self-esteem and allows him to associate himself with words such as stupid, incompetent, and bad.
If the child gives up on himself, he will show these "bad" appearances. Even if the child is cautious and tries to avoid making mistakes as much as possible, he will not think too highly of himself in his heart.
The pampering parents are even worse, they are always looking to play the role of cleaning up the mess for their children, and the children not only fail to learn from the lessons and experiences, but may not even have basic reverence, let alone responsibility and responsibility.
Such parents think that they are loving their children and protecting their children, but in fact, they are digging a big hole for themselves and their children.
Sooner or later, the child will go out into society, and if he has never learned what boundaries are and what rules are, he will hit his head and bleed in reality.
Truly sensible parents, neither punishing nor conniving. When your child makes a mistake or makes a mistake, even if you don't blame him, he will feel sorry, and at this time, your gentle attitude can make your child focus more on self-reflection.
But unlike the indulgent parent, although you are not impatient, angry or punishable, you still need to tell your child what to do and what not to do, and since you have made a mistake, you must have the courage to bear the consequences.
You also need to guide your child to think of ways to solve and make amends, and how to avoid similar mistakes in the future. Compared with making direct requests to children, this approach can guide children's positive thinking, mobilize children's initiative, and the effect will be better.
When you are truly able to trust your child, the child will reciprocate your trust.
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Recently, a five-year-old child who helped out in his own store and apologized for falling down while serving grilled fish to customers has attracted praise from everyone and has also caused related discussions. ......In order to help children grow better, after their children make mistakes, parents should stay calm and do not criticize their children, guide children to recognize their mistakes and take the initiative to correct them, and help and educate children so that they can find the right methods and ways.
1. When children make mistakes, parents should first stay calm and do not criticize children.
When they find out that their children have made mistakes, many parents will criticize their children, which is wrong. ......Not only will criticizing children not solve the problem, but searching for models will be counterproductive. Therefore, when you find that your child has made a mistake, parents should stay calm, do not criticize the child first, but should analyze the child's mistake, find appropriate coping methods, and then implement it.
2. Parents should guide their children to recognize and correct their mistakes after they make mistakes.
After determining that the child has made a mistake and missed the sale, parents should guide the child and help him realize what is wrong with his behavior. Then, parents also need to guide their children to take the initiative to correct their mistakes. ......This method of guiding children to recognize and correct mistakes through self-awareness is the most effective way to deal with children's mistakes.
3. Parents should help and educate their children who make mistakes, so that they can find the right methods and ways.
When a child realizes that he or she has made a mistake, he or she will take steps to make amends. But because of the child's young age, he often can't find the best way to correct his mistakes. ......At this time, parents should help and educate their children, help him find the correct methods and ways to correct his mistakes, and then use his own practical actions to correct his mistakes, in this process, the child will increase his experience and rich experience, which is very beneficial to his future growth.
This is the most appropriate way for parents to cope.
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1. The education method should be sincere.
Some parents often lose their sincere attitude and criticize their children with rough language after discovering that their children have made mistakes, which not only hurts their children's self-esteem and affects the parent-child relationship, but also arouses their children's rebellious psychology and makes them find many reasons to justify themselves.
Therefore, when parents criticize their children, they must be sincere, and deal with problems calmly based on the principle of emphasizing motivation and light consequences.
2. The family must have empathy.
When a child does something wrong, if the parents reprimand and scold, the child will be more afraid and afraid, so that the next time the child makes a mistake, in order to avoid the punishment of the parents, the child will adopt an attitude of not admitting the mistake.
If the child makes a mistake, if the parent can communicate well with the child, allow the child to make mistakes, squat down and slowly ask the reason for the matter, and experience the child's feelings from the child's point of view, and carefully analyze the reasons for the child, the child will tell the truth to the parents, and the children can listen to what the parents say and put forward suggestions.
3. Communicate with your child calmly.
When a child does something wrong, parents must calm down, don't lose their temper casually, communicate with their children in a timely manner to understand the child's position on this matter, and think about the problem from the child's point of view.
4. Encourage children to admit their wrong behaviors.
Children make mistakes are always inevitable, when children tell parents that they have made mistakes, parents must be patient, and to reward children for this behavior do not blindly criticize children, when children take the initiative to admit mistakes, parents must praise children in time, so that children dare to face things in the future.
5. Let children grow up in making mistakes and correcting mistakes.
There are many kinds of mistakes made by children, but they can generally be classified into two types: one is that parents must correct immediately, such as: not paying attention to hygiene, bullying the small, or not knowing how to take care of public facilities; The other is something that the child is able to correct on his own, such as:
How to adapt to the living environment, what to do if you encounter difficulties and setbacks, etc.
For the former, parents should guide their children from an early age and cultivate their children's good habits, which should be done as soon as possible, and the younger the child, the better the effect; For the latter child how to adapt to the living environment, let the child slowly adapt to the environment, the child encounters difficulties, setbacks, to let the child solve it by himself, the child is really powerless parents to lend a helping hand, let the child suffer a little is good for the child.
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Use praise to guide your child to recognize mistakes and correct them. Qing Dynasty educator An Yuan said. "Teach my son to be more than ten years old.
In the process of communicating with children, first see the children's strengths, praise and encourage them in time, guide the children to recognize their own mistakes and shortcomings in self-exploration, and be willing to take the initiative to admit and correct their mistakes.
In the process of communicating with children, first see the children's strengths, praise and encourage them in time, guide the children to recognize their own mistakes and shortcomings in self-exploration, and be willing to take the initiative to admit and correct their mistakes. Use praise to guide your child to recognize mistakes and correct them. Qing Dynasty educator An Yuan said.
"Teach my son to be more than ten years old. "In the process of communicating with children, first see the child's strengths, such as timely praise and encouragement, guide the child to recognize his own mistakes and shortcomings in self-exploration, and be willing to take the initiative to admit and correct his mistakes.
On the contrary, if you blindly scold your child, you will have a strong sense of frustration and a corresponding sense of rebellion. Evaluate the motivation behind the behavior. Motivation is the direct cause of human behavior.
In the same way, there are reasons why a child's wrong behavior occurs. The reasons behind the same error can be different. In the process of communicating with children, first see the children's strengths, praise and encourage them in time, guide the children to recognize their mistakes and shortcomings in self-exploration, and be willing to take the initiative to admit and correct their mistakes.
Use praise to guide your child to recognize mistakes and correct them. Qing Dynasty educator An Yuan said. "Teach my son to be more than ten years old.
In the process of communicating with children, first see the children's strengths, praise and encourage them in time, guide the children to recognize their own mistakes and shortcomings in self-exploration, and be willing to take the initiative to admit and correct their mistakes.
Parents will only criticize their children discriminately according to their children's motivations and specific problems, so that children can convincingly understand and accept criticism, and try to correct their mistakes. In the process of communicating with children, first see the children's strengths, praise and encourage them in time, guide the children to recognize their own mistakes and shortcomings in self-exploration, and be willing to take the initiative to admit and correct their mistakes.
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When a child does something wrong, we should not criticize him, but tell him in another way that it is wrong for him to do something that is absolutely inadequate, and we must protect his young self-esteem at the same time, but also let him understand what is right and what is wrong.
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First of all, let the child understand that he has made a mistake in the letter, what is the impact of making such a mistake, and then give the child a little punishment, such as writing a review book, doing housework, writing more homework, etc.
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When a child does something wrong, parents should criticize him calmly, instead of being irritable and impatient to tell the child that you are wrong.
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Don't criticize, just guide correctly.
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Children are very prone to doing wrong things when they are young, but is failure the mother of success? We have also summed up in the measures bit by bit, so that we can gain so much experience that we will no longer make mistakes, so when children do wrong things, parents must not criticize harshly, because if you criticize harshly, it will be easy to leave some bad shadows on the child.
Insecurity First of all, if parents often criticize their children, it will make them very insecure, because when children first come to this world, they are unfamiliar with everything, so in their minds, the family and parents are the most trustworthy and dependent people, sometimes their perception of the outside world is obtained through the reaction of parents, so at this time the attitude of parents towards children is very important, if we criticize children when they make mistakes, It will make him very insecure, thinking that the world is like this, and he will be criticized if he does something wrong, so parents must not often criticize their children harshly.
If you observe carefully, you will find that those very confident people around you in life must be from a loving family, parents must be encouraged-based for their children's education, only encouragement-based can cultivate children's self-confidence from an early age, if the child makes a little mistake, parents will criticize him harshly, then it will be easy for the child to have an inferiority complex, he feels that everything he does seems to be wrong, so that in the end he will become more and more timid, Don't dare to take the initiative to speak, don't dare to express your own opinions, and don't dare to take the initiative to take on anything, so if parents often criticize their children, it will affect their children's character, if you want your children to become a confident person, then as parents must always encourage their children.
Therefore, as a parent, we must understand that it is normal for children to make mistakes, and parents should not always criticize him, but should focus on guidance and encouragement, only in this way can children grow up healthy and happy.
Your first sentence shows that you have not yet figured out the truth of the matter, you still don't know whose fault it is, you are hesitant, you feel that it is your own mistake but you feel that you are right. You must know that people will not always read according to books, and it is inevitable that they will say or do things that are not satisfactory to you, so don't take these things seriously and don't take anything too seriously. Maybe when they want to apologize, people have forgotten about it, don't care, don't care too much.
Gold Course for Qualified Parents.
Gold Course for Qualified Parents.
1. Don't be in a hurry to criticize your child. We are raising children, not flowers, glass windows, plates, milk bottles, ......Substitutes can be found for other items, only the child is unique, the child who has just made a mistake will always be very frightened, parents should comfort the child, do not rush to criticize. >>>More
You can call the police. Parents beating their children is child abuse, but in the current situation in China, if you call the police, the police come, the child is not seriously injured, at most it is only persuasion and education for the parents.