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Being cowardly doesn't mean you'll be bullied. Cowardice is your personal shortcoming, and that's not terrible.
The scary thing is that you don't dare to face it, and you don't have the courage to accept that you have this shortcoming.
Since you can see your shortcomings now, it means that you yourself are slowly improving from them.
Slowly identify your shortcomings, and that's easy. You need to work hard to change it.
Good old man, there is nothing bad. And to be a man should also be like a square and a circle. In that way, you will slowly step into the path of success in your relationships.
Moreover, you can't say that you are always a good person, but that you are a person who has no opinions, and is always bullied.
It's not right to think like that.
You have to turn this mentality into a positive one, why don't you think like this, I will bring you help with the advantages of the aspect; Bring care to everyone, let your advantages bring you some motivation and happiness!
In fact, your own excellence often becomes some motivation in the eyes of others, isn't this your best strength?
And your strengths are often accompanied by confidence and smiles, so your confidence and smiles will also be infected by colleagues around you or your bosses.
Believe in yourself and take this shortcoming as a strength, and I'm sure you won't have that mindset again. And your mood will also jump, with a sense of resistance. Facing every day!!
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Cowardly causes. Being bullied is inevitable, no matter how good he is in other aspects, and the better he is in other aspects, the more jealous he will be by others, my sister is very smart but often bullied, she is not unassertive, but has no guts.
My experience. My sister used to be easily bullied, and was often scolded by others behind her, but she didn't dare to fight, and finally I accompanied her to school every day, and when I saw those people, I beat them, and once they had a lot of people, I couldn't beat them, and then I found that my sister knocked them all down, and I thought it was the so-called protection.
Resolution. You should have what you are protecting, such as your dignity, or something, with what you want to protect, you will become bolder, in fact, people who fight are afraid for the first time, but they are bullied and desperately resist, and they protect their dignity.
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What you say is that, and there are some principles that you can't let at all, so that others will think that you are
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Clause.
1. Distinguish between introversion and inferiority. From my experience in receiving cases in psychological counseling for many years, many clients confuse the concepts of introversion and low self-esteem. When they describe themselves as introverted in counseling, they are afraid to express themselves, have interpersonal communication difficulties, and even appear nervous, stammering, unable to speak, etc., or are depressed and compulsive.
However, through specific analysis, it was found that the problem had nothing to do with whether he was introverted or not, and the cause of the problem was his inferiority complex. For example, because of low self-esteem, they dare not express themselves; Because of low self-esteem, he cares about the outside world's evaluation of himself; Because of low self-esteem, I am always worried that I am not doing well, and I am burdened with great pressure and psychological burden; Because of low self-esteem, it causes all kinds of worries, thoughts, compulsions, and so on. Equating low self-esteem with introversion, and then equating introversion with the problem itself, thinking that introversion will lead to psychological problems, or introversion is not good.
Of course, this understanding has also led to a bias in problem solving. It should resolve the inferiority complex and build self-confidence to solve the problem, but focus on the personality aspect, which naturally affects the final solution of the problem. If the problem cannot be solved, it will in turn think that its own problem is more serious, leading to a vicious circle.
In addition, there is no distinction between introverts and extroverts, each with its own characteristics, each with its own wonderful!
Clause. Second, cowardice, corresponding to timidity, may also be an external manifestation of inferiority.
Clause. 3. Withdrawing in case of trouble is a kind of evasive behavior. Avoidance in a broad sense refers not only to behavior, but also to a person's attitude towards reality (including one's own psychological reality and objective reality) and to ignore it, not admit it, divert it, or even deny it. No one can avoid it.
To do something, you have to do something. As long as the person concerned clearly knows what he is avoiding, what the consequences of avoidance are, and what he can gain by doing so, and the choices are in line with his or her consistent values, and there is no regret for what he has lost, then such avoidance is completely healthy. Han Shin endured the humiliation of his crotch after careful consideration, and he avoided a pointless fight with the villain ruffian, ensuring that his sound body would be able to fulfill his life's ambitions in the future.
The reason why it has been passed down through the ages is here.
As long as the set goal is not abandoned, avoidance is strategic, it is a special means to achieve the set goal, and it is often better to achieve the goal. There is no such thing as walking without turning, this is common sense.
If you just blindly avoid problems, it will not only lead to the deformation of psychological conflicts, from general psychological problems to more serious neurotic psychological problems, but also hinder personal growth.
Clause. Fourth, retreating in the face of difficulties is a kind of avoidance behavior, which may also involve the problem of weak personal psychological tolerance, or unwillingness to take responsibility, and lack of commitment.
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1. Reshape your character.
Anyone can develop a strong character, but most weak people have an introverted temperament, and it is indeed difficult to develop an extroverted strong character. But an introverted and strong personality can be exercised. There are three characteristics of an introverted strong personality:
Not sharp but resilient, not enthusiastic but assertive, not strong but able to adhere to the right opinions.
2. Insist on yourself.
Franklin first discovered the helical structure of DNA in 1951, but because he was criticized by the "strongman", he admitted that this discovery was wrong, and later two scientists rediscovered this structure in 1953 and won the Nobel Prize.
Because he did not dare to insist on his own epoch-making discovery in biology, it was a pity! The psychological basis for overcoming weakness is to look up to oneself and dare to insist on oneself, especially in the face of the so-called "strong man" who is flying and domineering.
3. Dare to fight back.
First, learn to be angry. Weak people often do not have the experience of losing their temper in public, but are accustomed to suffering in silence. To insist on yourself, you must dare to be angry at the right time, and you can gradually learn.
You can choose a salesperson who treats customers abusively and prepare a "line": "It's too bad to treat customers like this, how can it be justified!" "Just go away.
4. Direct rebuttal.
Weak people are always accustomed to compromise with other people's misunderstandings and unwarranted accusations. To overcome weakness is to learn to refute directly and not to compromise.
5. Armed behavior.
Psychology also believes that improving misbehavior can improve psychological quality. If you are weak, arm yourself in this way from misconduct:
1) When you meet someone you are a little afraid of, don't take a detour and go straight to the other person;
2) Stand up straight and puff up your chest to talk to the other person;
3) Staring into the other person's eyes when speaking, and if you can't do it at first, you will first stare at the bridge of his nose;
4) Loud voice, if the other person's voice surpasses you, suddenly make the voice softer;
5) Keep a gap between silences during the conversation and don't be impatient;
6) Don't use words like "I'm sorry" lightly.
This reinforces your behavior, and you feel that you suddenly become strong and bold.
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Find your own highlights and improve your self-confidence. Try to express yourself, especially when you have a point, and don't be afraid. If you are weak, he will be strong.
This needs to be practiced, but pay attention to the ways and means, do not be excessive, and protect yourself safely. In the event of physical injury, you can seek legal protection.
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Actually, I am also very timid, and my voice is very small, but when I go out to work, I can only force myself to move forward.
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People must know how to fight for themselves, and stay with those they like and those who they love.
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It's just that it's hard to react instantaneously to what others say, I can't react, and I'm afraid.
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How to change your cowardly personality and frequent bullying? Here are 4 points to keep in mind.
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If you have an inferiority complex, you must make positive adjustments, as follows:
Clause. First, learn to accept yourself, this is very crucial, the most critical thing for many people to have low self-esteem is not to touch the heart knot, encounter the psychological shadow, encounter the bad experience of childhood, but always feel that they are not good or bad in the current situation, and eventually reject themselves, and even self-attack, so only by accepting themselves with joy, learning to live in harmony with themselves, and compromising with each other, can we finally overcome the problem of inferiority.
Clause. Second, we must properly divert our attention and do what we are interested in and what we are good at, such as when you are particularly inferior and sad, choose to read books, go shopping, watch movies, eat delicious food, or dress yourself up at home, do housework, prune flowers, etc., these methods can effectively divert attention, let yourself forget the problem of inferiority, and only by putting your main energy on things that are interesting and more valuable, can you get a happy and happy life.
Clause. Third, we must learn to do what we should do, especially to learn to be at peace with what happens, the most important thing is that instead of inferiority, worry and pain every day, we should learn to accept the current life, learn to pay attention to the present, and do what we should do, because no matter at any time, only by doing what we should do, can we have a fulfilling life, and can we have a sense of happiness and happiness. All of the above methods can be chosen, whether it is at any time with a low evaluation of yourself, or even have a very low self-esteem about your appearance, life, and wealth, you must choose the method that suits you to adjust.
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Look in the mirror every day and say I'm the best, I'm going to conquer the world.
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A person's character formation is formed from the beginning of infancy in a bad family, society, school, etc. environment. Generally speaking, the reason for the formation of cowardice is that the people and environment that influenced you in your early childhood overemphasized and strengthened the insecurity around you, such as parents and teachers always emphasize to you that your surroundings are full of many insecure factors, and even put you under strict protection, you experience less sense of peace, and over time you form a dare not venture to new things, infinitely magnifying your insecurity. However, there is a special case that may be that you have encountered a major safety incident, and the psychological shadow can also lead to your cowardly character.
To change the cowardly character, one is to deeply find out the reasons for the formation of one's own character; second, you can find a psychologist to help adjust and adjust; The third is self-regulation, deliberately putting yourself in some seemingly unsafe events, so that you can work hard to overcome, such as boldly participating in such as bungee jumping, you only need to jump the next time, you will experience your own strength.
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Answer: In fact, everyone's personality has different characteristics, as well as strengths and weaknesses. The so-called cowardice may just be more considered, but it is often rich inside, and it is more concerned about the feelings of others than your own.
The character is timid and cowardly, I think the innate factor is very big, and there is no need to deny and worry about yourself. Just like many lively and timid children can become timid and cowardly when they grow up.
The question I asked was caused by the later period, for example, the bad people in this society.
I was terrified when I asked someone to kill me, but I wanted to hit him.
The questioner is short and unclear.
Why are the bad guys tall?
It seems unfair.
Answering the mood of fear everyone will have, fear will make you feel that the other party is very big and may be congenitally small with you, plus the speech is not clear, so that you have a little inferiority complex between people, behaved more easy-going, not so calculating, not so articulate, not so strong, not necessarily a loss, maybe or a blessing? It seems to be cowardly, but in fact it is also an instinctive self-preservation, and the so-called winner may not necessarily benefit. Try to accept and make good use of your personality traits, even if you can't go toe-to-toe, you can still maintain your boundaries and bottom line, and learn to protect yourself; Your gentleness, calmness, and likewise can earn respect and affection in interpersonal interactions.
As for the emotions accumulated in your heart, you need to constantly sort out and channel, try to express and communicate, in order to feel smooth.
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You should get out of your own small circle, take the initiative to communicate with the integrity and credibility around you, establish your own circle of friends, and read more books on the art of interpersonal communication and apply it to practice, your inferiority complex is due to your lack of self-confidence and language skills to communicate with others, knowing that you have sufficient reasons, but you do not have sufficient confidence and communication skills when expressing, which often causes you to be unreasonable, and become only a promise. If you don't have the ability to fully express yourself, you won't be able to do business as well as working in a factory. It is my job to conscientiously cooperate with the leader in the factory, but it is not blindly pleased, and the leader should be reminded in a timely manner when he is wrong.
There is a good way to report in a timely manner, so that the work of superiors and subordinates can cooperate closely, learn from each other's strengths, and improve together. But not necessarily you think that the correct leadership does not implement that you think that you look down on you, on the idea of elimination, this is not right, you have to open your mind boldly tolerant, take the initiative to communicate, believe that you recognize your own shortcomings at the same time, reshape the image, real friends are mutually promoted, real relatives are mutually improving, real friends are mutually considerate, real relatives themselves have money will help poor relatives within the scope of their ability.
To put it bluntly, you're just afraid, go learn some self-defense skills, I've already practiced, it's still a problem to deal with ordinary residents, and you'll be confident - but this is fake, it's a physical advantage, and only a change in thinking is a fundamental change. But if the change of thinking is simple, then the whole world is a cow - this can only be up to you, you want to change yourself, then you have to do things that can change your character, how to change cowardice? Why cowardice? >>>More
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I think it's because of my cowardly personality, so I learn this or that, I feel that I'm useless, so you need to slowly do more things to make your character stronger, as for what you said about making yourself forced to talk to understand things, I don't understand what you mean by saying this. It takes your further description to judge.
The mother always says something harsh or some criticism of the child's abuse, ridicule, and children's words, which leads to the child's character becoming more and more cowardly, lack of self-confidence, and some inferiority complex, which is not conducive to the child's growth and development.