I can t even go on a blind date, why is the blind date not successful?

Haven't met a suitable one yet. So take your time. Don't you understand in a hurry.

I just didn't meet the right one.

Every blind date is gone, it means that the other party doesn't take a fancy to you and is really looking forward to it.

First of all, the parents and elders introduced it, and they are really stressed to stare at it.

Mainly because the elders are also acquaintances of acquaintances, the object of their introduction has at least a basic understanding of the situation, and then you and the blind date are still in a state of confusion, and the parents hope that the two of you have become a matter of course, this pressure is unbearable for ordinary people, so it often forms the effect of the opposite of things.

Secondly, the vision of parents and elders is not the same as that of young people.

What parents see is that it is better to have a stable job and a house, and the aesthetic standards are even different, and young people hope to gradually understand each other in getting along, and it is important to be able to live together in the future, but this is exactly what parents cannot participate in, so the success rate of blind dates is even lower.

Clause. 3. Stage fright, or maybe it's embarrassing.

Everyone's personality is different, not everyone can talk eloquently in the face of a stranger, calm as if he is nothing, like facing an old friend for many years. Just like some people, since childhood, they are introverted, withdrawn, unsociable, and don't like strangers, so they resist the contact of strangers in their hearts.

It's like a person who is afraid of heights, and he can't see heights; It's like a person with a phobia of density who can't see dense things.

That fear comes from the deepest part of the heart, not to be controlled and changed.

And many parents don't understand very well, thinking that blind date is just a trivial matter, is it necessary to be so repulsive?

There are also some people who are not good at words, although they are usually very arrogant, but when they see strangers, they are immediately timid, unnatural, and do not know what to say or what to talk about. So it made the atmosphere very awkward, and I always wanted to find an excuse to escape, and after experiencing it once, I never wanted to experience it a second time.

As the saying goes, people are different, and what you can accept does not mean that others can accept it.

Clause. Fourth, the most important reason is that you will feel very shameless.

Men and women, sometimes vanity is at work. In the face of blind dates, many people will have this mentality: "It's not that I don't want it, why do I have to go on a blind date?" ”

As a result, many people think that only people who can't find a partner will go on a blind date to bury it.

Why can't I find an object? It shows that he is not good enough, so everyone will think that if he goes on a blind date, he proves that he is not good enough.

Then I was worried that my relatives and friends around me would find out about it, and they would laugh at themselves, and I would feel very shameless after being passed on.

Even if blind dates are already very common, even if many people can accept them, but in the deepest part of their hearts, there will be more or less such scruples and worries.

Especially young people, vanity and comparison are even stronger, and everyone is so good-looking, so no one wants to lose face.

I think this is because parents and elders often don't understand the type of children they like, and parents and close relatives who care about us and love us always think that they know their children very well and know what kind of partner they need. In fact, they feed their nieces according to their own preferences, in other words, they think their nieces like to find their other half.

In fact, however, as children become adults, their communication with their parents and relatives begins to become urbanized. In other words, they are very intimate on the surface, and they seem to see each other often when they live together, but they rarely do it, and the words that are said effectively are simple communication in daily life, and the kind of ideological communication that touches the soul in depth seems to be difficult to achieve with parents and relatives.

First of all, there is a generation gap between the two generations, different values, and different views on many things.

Therefore, it is difficult for young people to open their hearts to their true thoughts like these elders, and will not confide in them, because they do not understand the first or, and are likely to intervene in their own lives, so parents and elders are always wishful thinking about their children, and the same is true for emotional ones, and this kind of speculation is often suitable for children's real thoughts and actual needs are inconsistent.

Fate has not arrived, and I have not yet encountered a real fate, and at the same time, we must find out the reason from ourselves.

One is the problem from the direction of the introducer, and the other is the problem from the person being introduced.

One. Introducer's question.

1.This problem is also the problem of the elders, and it is very direct that most of the elders do not have a clear understanding of the real interests of the younger generations when they introduce them to the younger generations, but only match them according to the very superficial one, family conditions and personal income, in fact, most people lack understanding of the two parties he wants to introduce.

2.In addition, many elders are not seriously introduced, but spontaneously, and when they talk about gossip with relatives, neighbors and even colleagues, they arrange blind dates as they wish. You must know that even professional matchmakers may not do a good job in blind date introduction, and they are introduced at will, of course, the success rate is not high.

3.There is another point, sometimes the blind date introduced by the elders may be deliberately arranged to fail. In order to get married to their children, many elders have also put a lot of thought into the blind date.

In the conventional practice, I will deliberately find a few people who are not very suitable or have lower conditions than the child's vision, let the child feel a round of frustration first, and then arrange them.

Two. The introduce's question.

The young men and women who are introduced to the blind date actually have some problems themselves.

Many people are singled because they have problems, or even problems with the opposite sex.

Of course, there are many people whose own conditions are not very good, and they do not recognize their own situation, and they have too high requirements for others, and they can't look down on them everywhere.

In addition to the above two silver quarrels, it is also very important that many young people are more exclusive to blind dates, and many still have expectations for themselves to find a partner, of course, there are also people who do not want to get off the single, and they are forcibly arranged, so they will naturally not succeed.

It is difficult to succeed in blind dates introduced by ordinary elders. There are many reasons for this!

First, the vision of the elders is definitely different from that of the young.

Second, the elders and young people pay attention to the inside and outside of the orange, maybe the elders pay more attention to the family conditions, whether the children are well-behaved, etc. Young people, on the other hand, value the edge of sight and feeling.

Third, most of the elders only look at the problem from their own point of view, and ignore the feelings of the young people.

Fourth, if young people want to be together, they need to understand each other enough and communicate more, unlike the older generation before, who casually found a matchmaker to introduce them, and felt that they could be together.

Of course, there are many reasons for this! What else do you think?

Parents and those elders who care about us and love us always think that they know their children very well, know what they need, what kind of partner they like, in fact, they go to find a partner for their children according to their own preferences, in other words, what they think their children like. But in fact, when children become adults, their communication with their parents and relatives begins to be stylized, that is, they are very close on the surface, live together, and seem to see each other often, but they rarely communicate effectively. The words are simple communication in daily life, the kind of thought communication that is deep and touches the soul, and it seems difficult to achieve with parents and relatives.

First of all, there is a generation gap between the two generations, different values, and different views on many things. Therefore, it is difficult for young people to open their hearts to these elders, and their true thoughts will not be confided in them. Because they don't understand it, they are likely to interfere in their own lives.

Therefore, parents and elders are always wishful thinking about their children, and they think about it with their own ideas. The same is true for emotional matters. And this kind of speculation is often inconsistent with the child's real thoughts and actual needs.

Many times, parents will feel that they have taken some detours and stepped on some pits emotionally when they are young, and they don't want their children to fall into them. It is precisely because he was young that he had those wrong thoughts and wanted to help his children correct them in time, so he is likely to follow his current age of thinking about feelings, and feel that what kind of person is more suitable for marriage and life, to shoehorn into his children, and also hope that his children will fully accept his emotional values.

In addition, young people are more independent and do not want their privacy to be known by these elders, especially they do not want their parents and elders to pay too much attention to themselves like children. Especially when it comes to emotions, it is likely that they are duplicitous, and what they really want to reveal to them is not their true status quo and true thoughts.

Finally, I think that many young people naturally have resistance and negative attitudes towards the blind dates introduced to them by their parents or elder relatives, thinking that they don't know themselves at all, and this kind of blind date is purely to find a partner for the sake of finding a partner, and if they don't pay attention to themselves and don't respect Kaiwu themselves, then they can't find a suitable person. If you go on a blind date with this emotion, the natural success rate will be greatly reduced.