Jokes told by two people, hilarious jokes by two conversations

In a remote village, there is a straight telephone pole on a sheep's intestine path, and it is strange to say that people often have accidents there. Soon after, a young man and a woman accidentally rode into a bicycle and died instantly. One night, 5-year-old Xiao Zhi and his mother were passing by there on their way home, and Xiao Zhi suddenly:

Mom, there are two people on the pole. The mother took him by the hand and walked away quickly and said, "Don't talk nonsense, little ones!"

But the matter spread quickly, one day, a reporter came to interview Xiao Zhi and asked him to take him to see the place where the car accident occurred, Xiao Zhi generously led him there, and the reporter asked, "Where is it?" Xiao Zhi pointed to it, and the reporter looked up to see that there was a sign hanging on the telephone pole, which read:

Traffic safety is everyone's responsibility.

Wife, I want.

Husband, I'll give.

Wife, I still want it.

Husband, I'll give it again.

Wife, I still want it, husband, Khan·· Gone! And then it's urine.

The cross talk is very good, and if it is well matched, it is still good to perform.

You can make a bad joke in one sentence. , in the form of questions and answers.

There are many hilarious jokes in the dialogue between two people, for example: because of literacy, the joke caused by the joke that someone is illiterate, go to the doctor. Doctor:

Asthma patient: I don't call it Asthma, my name is Zhang Guorui, it turns out that he abbreviated his name. Doctor:

You are uncomfortable with the patient: I am uncomfortable at the top and bottom Doctor: how uncomfortable is the patient:

My head hurts, and my head is ......

(1) Casually.

Male Today. What do we eat at night?

Female: Whatever. M: Let's eat hot pot.

Female: No, if you eat hot pot, you have acne on your face.

M: Then let's eat Sichuan food?

Female: I just ate Sichuan food yesterday, and I eat it again today...

M: Shall we eat seafood?

Female: The seafood is not good, and I have diarrhea after eating.

M: So what do you say to eat?

Female: Whatever. Male ......

2) Both.

M: So what are we doing now?

Female: Either way. M: How about watching a movie? It's been a long time since I've seen a movie.

Female: What's so good about movies? Delays.

M: What about bowling, sports?

Woman: What's going on a hot day? Aren't you tired?

M: Then find a coffee shop and sit down and drink some water.

Female: Drinking coffee affects sleep.

M: What do you say?

Female: Either way. Male ......

3) Look at you.

M: Then let's just go home.

Woman: Look at you. M: Let's take the bus! I'll send you.

The women's bus is dirty and crowded, so forget it.

Male Taxi (Taxi).

Woman: It's not cost-effective to get so close.

Man: Well, let's take a walk.

Woman: Where are you going to go with an empty stomach?

M: So what the hell do you want?

Woman: Look at you. M: Let's eat first.

Female: Whatever. M: What do you eat?

Female: Either way.

A new student came to a certain class.

One day, the teacher asked him, "How old are you?"

Student: May I ask the teacher how old I am?

Teacher: Your age.

Student: Oh, would the teacher want to know my age last year or this year's age?

Teacher: Nonsense, it's definitely this year's pull.

Student: Oh, does the teacher want me to tell you now or is he telling you after class?

Teacher: Now.

Student: Oh, do you want the teacher to say it out loud or quietly?

Teacher: Damn, do you say it or not! Don't fool me!

Student: Say, why does the teacher want to know how old I am?

Teacher: Can't I just ask?

Teacher: Khan died .........

Count the pull, count the pull, students, our topic today is to repeat the antonyms. The teacher says a word, you take a sentence, OK!

Teacher: The weather is very good today.

Student: Tomorrow the weather is bad.

Teacher: I ate fish heads yesterday.

Student: You eat turtle tome today

Teacher: Wrong.

Student: Correct.

Teacher: I said it was wrong.

Student: That's right.

Teacher: You idiot.

Student: I'm a genius.

Teacher: Stand up for me.

Student: I'll sit you down.

Teacher: Did you hear the teacher telling you to stand up?

Student: The teacher told me to sit down, and I heard me!

Teacher: You dare not listen to the teacher.

Student: I don't dare to listen to the teacher.

Teacher: Do you know what you just said?

Student: I know I didn't say anything right now?

Teacher: This classmate, I know you did it on purpose.

Student: Teacher, you know I didn't mean to.

Teacher: You're not big or small.

Student: I'm small and big.

Teacher: You don't study well at such a young age.

Student: I'm so old that I can't learn well.

Teacher: I don't want to talk about you.

Student: You want to talk about me again.

Teacher: Stop.

Student: I'll give you a step.

Teacher: I'm afraid of you, can you stop?

Student: I'm not afraid of you, can I continue?

Teacher: This concludes the antonym exercise.

Student: Synonym practice starts now.

Teacher: You're not done.

Student: I'm endless.

Teacher: You are not educated.

Student: I'm educated.

Teacher: Do you look like a cultured person?

Student: Am I not like an uneducated person?

Teacher: Depressed.

Student: Glad.

Teacher: I'm about to be by you.

Student: You're going to be by me.

Teacher: Can you not speak?

Student: Can I not shut up?

Teacher: Go on, I'm not going to take this lesson, I'll go.

Student: I'll stop, this lesson still has to be done, I'll do it.

> Bunny said, "My mom calls me Bunny, and that's good!" ”

Piggy said, "My mother calls me Piggy, and it sounds good!" ”

The puppy said, "My mom calls me a puppy dog, and it's nice too!" ”

The chick said, "You talk, I'll go first!" ”

I went to work this morning to catch the bus, and when I got to the platform, the bus had already started. So A had no choice but to chase and shout: "Master, wait for me!"

Master, wait for me! At this time, a passenger poked his head out of the window and said to me, "Wukong, don't chase me."

It's not any type.

(1) Casual man: What are we going to eat tonight? Female: Whatever. M: Let's eat hot pot.

Female: No, you will have acne on your face when you eat hot pot. M: Then let's eat Sichuan food? Female: I just ate Sichuan food yesterday, and I eat it again today...

M: Shall we eat seafood? Female: The seafood is not good, and I have diarrhea after eating. M: So what do you say to eat?

Female: Whatever. Male ......2) All right, man, what the hell are we doing now? Female: Either way.

M: How about watching a movie? It's been a long time since I've seen a movie. Female: What's so good about movies?

Delays. M: What about bowling, sports? Woman: What's going on a hot day?

Aren't you tired? M: Then find a coffee shop and sit down and drink some water. Female: Drinking coffee affects sleep.

M: What do you say? Female: Either way. Male ......3) Look, man, let's just go home.

Woman: Look at you. M: Let's take the bus! I'll send you.

The women's bus is dirty and crowded, so forget it. Male Taxi (Taxi). Woman: It's not cost-effective to get so close.

Man: Well, let's take a walk. Woman: Where are you going to go with an empty stomach? M: So what the hell do you want?

Woman: Look at you. M: Let's eat first. Female: Whatever.

M: What do you eat? Female: Either way.

The first session was a history lesson, and the teacher was very interested in the class.

A nickname called"Sanmao"'s classmates fell asleep on the desk, and the teacher was very angry, so he put Sanmao.

Screamed. The teacher asked"You say, what do Wang Anshi and Ouyang Xiu have in common? "

Sanmao blurted out:"They were all from the Song Dynasty. "

The teacher then asked:"Then tell me, what do they have in common with Tang Taizong and Zhuge Liang? "

Sanmao was stunned and replied:"They are all ancients. "

Sanmao thought for a while and said:"They are all men. "

The teacher then asked"What if you add Li Qingzhao and Cixi? "

Sanmao was anxious:"He, they are all Chinese. "

The teacher smiled and asked"Tell me again, what did Napoleon and Caesar have in common? "

They all served as emperors. "

What do they have in common with Darwin and Hitler? "

The teacher pressed again:"So what do they have in common with the people I mentioned earlier? "

Sanmao and a rod to the end:"They are all human. "

The teacher asked again"As far as I know, among these people, Zhuge Liang has raised chickens, Cixi and Caesar have also raised dogs.

Animals are counted, do they have anything in common with them? "

As soon as the teacher asked, Sanmao's head began to sweat"This ......This ......They all died.

Finish. ""Well, it's all dead. "The teacher nodded.

Sanmao's legs weakened, sat down, and thought, this is the end of the problem, right?

Unexpectedly, the teacher said again"You stand up, and one last question is, if they're all alive now, can they find common ground? "

Sanmao was dumbfounded, he thought for five minutes before he cried and said with a sad face"If you don't count the jet lag, they should have all had lunch.

Don't say "it's mine" lightly

When I was digging into my pocket on the way home from work, a key was dropped, and I didn't find it at the time, but I went back to look for it! There was a couple of young couples on the side of the road, and the man suddenly said excitedly, "Whose is it?" Who's it for, exactly? ”

I thought it was the key and quickly said, "Mine, mine!" It's mine! ”

Bad joke: Teacher, if you want to tell me.

Then he was beaten up by Fat.

Later, I found out that the woman was pregnant.

Xiao Ming was sleeping in class and was discovered by the teacher. The teacher was so angry that he told him to go to the blackboard to solve the problem. If you don't know how to write, be ready to humiliate him in public.

When Xiao Ming didn't walk to the blackboard, the teacher began to sour him: "I am really ashamed to dare to sleep in class with such poor grades." Is the head at home, and will only sleep ...... all day”

However, what I didn't expect was that Xiao Ming actually knew how to solve it, and he solved it beautifully. The teacher couldn't get off the stage, so he had to let him go back to his seat and leave him alone.

Unexpectedly, this guy was angry and said to the teacher, "I'll sleep first, and you will ask me again if you have any later!" ”