What are some of the new and funny jokes you have in your collection, can you share them?

My buddy loves the line of fire, and one day on a whim, I made a poem for him: find some time, find some free time, fight the line of fire, and relieve sadness.

Daya and Xiaole went to register their engagement, and the following is the registrar at the registry office and their conversation, and the registrar asked Daya: What is your name? Daiya:

Ni Daye (your uncle) Registrar: Hey, why do you curse when I ask you by name? What kind of quality do you have?

Daya: My name is Ni Daya! Registrar:

What about you! (The registrar pointed to Xiaole and asked) Xiaole: Wu Yule (speechless) The registrar was a little angry when he heard it.

Registrar: Hey, I said you were trying to tease me, and your names are nonsense! Forget it, show me your ID.

After reading their ID cards, the registrar suddenly realized, laughed and said: "Your parents are really funny, they gave you such a special name!" ”

Lao Li met Director Sun, an old classmate who was the head of the Forestry Bureau. Director Sun: Lao Li, your son has graduated from college, what is he doing now?

Lao Li: I graduated, and I'm still looking for a job. Director Sun:

What is your son's major? Lao Li: It seems that I studied foreign trade.

Director Sun: Does he have any special skills? Lao Li:

What a specialty, it's just very good! Director Sun: That's just the right way to work in our bureau, so you can ask him to come to our bureau!

Lao Li: What is the right way to work with your bureau? Director Sun:

Didn't you say that he was particularly capable of cutting, and that asking him to cut down trees in the forest was just right to give full play to his strengths, and we lacked the strength to cut them here! Lao Li: Damn.

After my son entered the key class, there was a real change: his grades improved, his handwriting was good, and he was able to take the initiative to do his homework when he went home. But there is one thing that makes us laugh and cry:

I live in tears all day long, and I am afraid that I will be punished for a month if I can't sweep the ground; I am afraid that I will be punished for not scoring more than 90 points in the exam; I'm afraid that I can't finish the book and clean the toilet. In short, I worry about this and that all day long, and my eyes are not red every day. What's even funnier is that I'm always complaining about entering a key class, hating the teacher, and saying something frustrating from time to time.

It's reassuring to know that all worries are unnecessary, because it's always at the top! One day I told my son: Are you still worried?

The son said: The teacher has to make inches, it's strange not to worry! I said, "How do you get an inch?"

Son: The teacher asked us to score more than 285 points in the top five languages, otherwise we were not allowed to associate with female classmates. I asked curiously:

Is it related to a female classmate? Son: Ha, you don't know.

The teacher said.

A classmate came back from shopping today and poured bitter water with us. "Alas! You can't do good things!

What's the matter? "Today I saw a child begging at the entrance of the mall, I saw that he was pitiful, so I gave him a dollar, and it turned out to be a big deal!" "Woe to doing good!

You just blow it! "No, no! I saw him begging alone, ** thinking that after I gave him a dollar, a large group of people asking for money appeared out of nowhere, and not only did not let me go, but also dragged me by the non-payment!

So what did you do? "What else? Two dollars per person is considered to be over, and the money I am going to buy leather shoes will be played!

It's a loss! ”

It is said that the Tang monks and apprentices went through many hardships and finally arrived at the ...... of the West HeavenTang Seng: "Disciples, we have arrived at Lingshan!" In front of us is the 'Daxiong Treasure Hall', and we will soon see the 'Buddha of Rulai'!

The four masters and apprentices happily came to the door of the main hall, but were stopped by several monks ......Monk A: "Please put on a few sticks of incense, bless you with both prosperity and wealth!" Only 8,000 taels of silver are needed!

Monk B: "Please donate some 'public virtue'!" You can make good connections!

The starting price is 10,000 taels of silver! You can swipe your card! "Monk C:

Let's draw a few lots! It's only 5,000 taels of silver! Can ** your immortal Buddha road is bright or bumpy!

Tang Seng sighed: "Alas! I didn't expect Buddhism to be so difficult to enter!

Let's go back and apply for more funds from King Tang!! ”

Husband: Why don't you turn on the TV every day? Wife: Because this is the only voice that can accompany me in this family!

One day, a male colleague went to the office to borrow something from a female colleague to run errands and could not return it that day, and the next day it happened to be a weekend; Male colleague: "Why don't you leave a ** for me, and I'll send it to you when I'm done." "Female colleague:

Then you give me your mobile phone number and I'll call you! Male colleague: "I never remember my number, so you should give me yours!"

The female colleague thought for a while: "I also forgot that I have a good code, wait for me to find it!" At this time, the male colleague chatted with other colleagues, and talked about how verbose and troublesome the current customers are, and when the mobile phone rang, the male colleague yelled

Which neuropathy hit Lao Tzu again**? The female colleague next to her whispered: "Big brother, I hit it!"

The colleague next to him suddenly laughed...

Village A actually won the county's award, which made the directors of several surrounding villages red-eyed ......Director Otomura: Brother, you need to introduce our experience to us......Director Jiacun: There's nothing to introduce, it's not worth mentioning......Director of Cingcun:

Let's talk while eating, and talk about the experience of winning the award......Director B and C Village: Come, brother, we will toast you with a glass of wine, and you can talk about ......Director Jiacun: We won an advanced family planning award, and there is nothing to say about ......Director of Village B and C:

Brother, it's better for you to win the prize than for us to take nothing......Family planning is a very important award, which shows that you have done a good job, and you also introduce ......Director of Village A: There is actually only one word for experience, and that is "poor", and the poor cannot marry a daughter-in-law, and even if they can marry, they dare not have a ...... because they are poorB. The owner of the village of C.

Give gifts, send Greater China, send luxury cigarettes, doesn't that make people make mistakes? To get married, you have to use red double happiness, double happiness is coming, and it can be lively and lively. To open a business, we must send a big red eagle to make a big show of success, and the goal is high in order to have a prosperous career.

To build a house, you have to send the Yellow Crane Tower, a high-rise building in the summer, the higher and bigger you build, the happier you are. When you go out, you have to send Marlboro, a green light all the way, and all gods bless relatives and friends all the way. Lover, to send lovesick birds, love thousands of miles away, a piece of longing for love can never be forgotten.

Birthday celebrations, to send welcome pine, longevity than Nanshan, blessing such as the East China Sea and old and strong. Housewarming, to send a good day, housewarming to a new home, the mood is getting better and better.

1, Wu Dalang went to the movies with Pan Jinlian. Wu Dalang said: I want to watch an American blockbuster!

Pan Jinlian: Big hair! It's a big deal to see you!

Wu Dalang: What do you see? Pan Jinlian:

Of course, it's "Little Times", which is simply an inspirational film customized for you, and more importantly, you can watch it at half price! Wu Dalang: Lady, you are really my virtuous helper!

2, in order to repay Wu Dalang for his nurturing kindness, Wu Song said to them: Big brother and sister-in-law, I will raise you in the future! So he gave all his salary to Wu Dalang every month.

However, Wu Dalang still asked Wu Song every once in a while what money he had! Wu Song said: Big brother, you are just two people, why is it so difficult to raise!

Wu Dalang said: Second brother, you must know that only women and villains are difficult to raise, but our husband and wife have all these two ..

Tang Seng: Come, apprentices, come here, in order to do a better job of studying scriptures, today we will have a meeting to carry out criticism and self-criticism, further unify thinking, enhance understanding, and enhance the sense of responsibility and mission for the study of scriptures, ...... sense of missionAhem, I'm going to start with a self-criticism. As a leader, I always adhere to the right direction, maintain strong energy (omit 5,000 words here), of course, no one is perfect, no gold is barefoot, it is normal to make some mistakes on the way to learn the scriptures, such as meeting the white bone spirit and driving away Wukong, but I still corrected the mistakes in time, and I was not calm enough when I encountered problems......Okay, now all have to speak......Goku:

Let me tell you about it, I am still very conscientious and responsible, but sometimes, I don't pay attention to uniting my colleagues, and even a little self-righteous, and often make mistakes ...... personal heroismTang Seng: Well, what Wukong said is very reasonable, and the analysis is more profound.......