Send two short jokes, fresh 20

Washing socks: two housewives chatting.

Yesterday, my husband finally had his socks washed up. ”

How did he become so diligent? ”

He forgot to drag his socks when he got into the bathtub."

Here's why: "I dropped my teacup on the floor, but it didn't come out with half a drop of water, you know?" ”

That teacup is empty? ”

Wrong! The cup was filled with milk. ”

If you are not satisfied, you can say,I still have it.。。。

A family of three sits at the dining table to eat.

Suddenly, the son said to his mother, "Mom, I want to go to La Poop".

My mother said, "You're eating, you can't talk a little bit."

The son said "oh" and said, "Mom, I'm going to deliver food to our toilet" A man was constipated in the public toilet, and suddenly saw a person rushing in, and he praised it: "Dude, I really envy you, so fast."

The man said, "What are you envious of, you didn't take off your pants!" ”

The little fly asked her mother: Why do people say we eat?

Mother Fly said: I'm eating, don't talk about such a disgusting topic

Two drunks are driving wildly in a car. A:"Be careful! Ahead are sharp turns. "B:"What the? Aren't you driving? "

The snail's mother said to the snail: You are not young anymore, tomorrow I will take you to the next village for a blind date. The snail said, "I'm only 12 years old, not yet of legal age." Mom: You'll be enough when we get there.

Father: You have to fight for several hours every time you hit **, why did you talk for half an hour this time, who called**? Daughter: Nobody, someone dialed the wrong number.

Kill the panda and you are a national treasure. Or my sister is about to hang herself, you still think my sister is swinging!

1. The soldier asked the company commander: What should I do if I step on a mine during the battle? Lian Elder was annoyed: *, what can I do? If you step on it, you will be compensated according to the price.

2. It took a long time to receive your message.

I'm very distressed. I think about dying.

I have cut my veins with potato chips.

Hit your head with tofu.

Jump over the building with a parachute.

Hang with noodles.

But it's all ink.

You'll treat me to a meal.

Hold me up.

3. If you feel cold in your heart, please call me**! Please press 1 to talk about feelings, press 2 to talk about work, press 3 to talk about life, press 5 to introduce me to the object, please talk straight to dinner, and please hang up if you want me to borrow money.

Age Silly Girl: How old do you see me?

Neighbor: 44 years old. Silly Girl: How did you figure it out? Neighbor: I have a 22-year-old brother who is half as stupid as you!

The secret to success.

One actor came back from touring and said to a friend: "I had a great success and the audience applauded for a long time when I performed in the open square. "You're in luck," said his friend

It's going to be a little more difficult when we put on a show next week. "Why? The actor asked.

The scissors are pure. While cutting her daughter's clothes, his wife complained: "The scissors I sharpened yesterday are so pure today that they are hard to cut the fabric." "No, it won't! It's still fast when I cut the tin sheet in the morning! The husband said.

No need Xueyou: "Mom, the mouse jumped into the bucket!" Mother: "Get it out." Xueyou: "No need, I threw the cat into the bucket too." ”

A young man accidentally swallowed a ping-pong ball and rushed into the hospital. He requested that only local anesthesia be administered so that he could see the whole process of the operation clearly. He saw that when the doctor was operating, this and a knife were made, and there was a knife, and it was disorganized.

Why do you cut so many knives in different places? He asked the doctor bitterly and uneasily. "Because ping-pong balls are always bouncing inside your stomach.

Ants and elephants.

One day, an elephant guessed the ant's nest, and the ants in the nest climbed on the elephant, and the elephant shook and the ants fell, and only one was still on the elephant's neck, and the ants on the ground said to the ant, "Quick! Strangled him.

A group of animals visiting a convenience store.

A group of animals rush into a convenience store to buy something. Because it was too noisy, it was all punched out by the clerk. But only one animal was not beaten. You are the sheep. Because convenience stores are open 24 hours a day!

Luo Yonghao's speech: "The shortest joke in the IT industry: Luo Yonghao", a hilarious joke.

The drunkard called ** early in the morning and asked the hotel owner: When does the hotel open?

Boss: I'm sorry, I can't get in until the afternoon.

Drunkard: Who said I was going in? I'm going out!

One day Mung Bean committed suicide and jumped from the 5th floor, bleeding a lot and turning into a red bean; kept bleeding pus, and turned into soybeans again; The wound scarred and finally became a black bean.

Happiness falls from the sky - joy falls from the sky. Hahahaha.

The Chinese language exam paper requires you to write sentences according to example sentences.

Example sentence: From ............I pulled my homework book out of my bag.

Xiao Ming thought for a while and wrote on the exam paper: From my house to school 2.

There is an idiom on the language test paper that requires you to fill in the idiom: () not () body. Correct answer (Fen) no (Gu) body Xiao Ming spent a lot of effort to finally fill in the blank, **) no (open) body.

This is a joke that appears in the students I teach. ）

I wish you more progress in your studies.