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After all, my mother-in-law is an elder, ......Patience is over, and a good ...... is humbleI won't let my husband be caught in the middle, will I be a difficult person, right?
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It depends on the specific situation, and it is not good to just say what to do in the event of a conflict. But it is very important to grasp a key point, that is, people are easy to be impulsive when they are angry, and they tend to speak out of line, which must be avoided as much as possible. When there is a conflict, don't be in a hurry to refute or get angry, first calm down and think about how to do and say things to achieve the goal and help solve the problem.
The old man is often the more you fight with him, the harder he is, the less likely it is for him to listen, and it will intensify the conflict. The hardest thing to do in this way is the husband, who is in a dilemma. Over time, it will even affect the relationship between husband and wife, and the gains outweigh the losses!
Therefore, we should treat the elderly calmly, follow the good path, convince people with reason, and move ...... with love. If all this is done, the mother-in-law is still stubborn, opinionated, and even unreasonable. Then your benevolent and righteous husband, including all your relatives, will also see it, and then someone will stand on your side to speak for you, or use wisdom to skillfully let these relatives speak for you, which will also achieve unexpected results.
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Mother-in-law is also a mother, what to say, it's good to owe a debt, how can there be her own mother angry with her daughter. If you are rigid, it will only make your husband embarrassed. Think about it from another perspective, the elderly think about things more thoughtfully, and we generally think very simply. Isn't the thoughtfulness of the elderly also good for us?
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As the saying goes, "every family has a scripture that is difficult to read", and it is normal for mother-in-law and daughter-in-law to have conflicts. As a husband, he should learn to deal with the relationship between his mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
The wife is with him for a lifetime, and he must be treated well; My mother gave birth to you and raised you, and she must be filial to her. When the wife and the mother have a conflict, as a man, you should take care of the psychology of both parties, and you can't just favor one side.
My wife coaxes her more, communicates with her well, pays attention to her emotions, and has to be patient, sometimes she doesn't care so much about right and wrong, but more about your bias.
Mother's words, but also have a good exchange, she may be worried that her son will not listen to her when he is older and will not be filial, at this time she must emphasize that she will not ignore her, and will be filial.
In short, it is normal for mother-in-law and daughter-in-law to have small conflicts, there is no need to worry, communicate more with each other, and consider from each other's point of view. Both sides of the liquid man have to take care of Minling, and maybe they will be closer in the future!
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I am very sympathetic to you, and I sympathize with you, this is the saying goes, three women in one play, why is the relationship between men and father-in-law more harmonious? , Because men are magnanimous and understand each other, unlike women, the most difficult thing in the world is the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, on the one hand, the mother who raised you, and on the other hand, the daughter-in-law who gets along with you day and night.
That taste is not something that ordinary people can bear, and in addition, you have to say good things at both ends, which can also reduce your pressure
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However, in your case, I don't recommend that you consider divorce now, for two reasons, one is that you and your husband have a good emotional foundation, and when he was at home before, he also knew how to love you, and your marriage has repair value; The second is that the conflict between you and your husband has not developed to an unsolvable level, you just don't know how to deal with the problem when you have a conflict with your mother-in-law, and how to make your husband turn towards you instead of against you.
Article**2 What makes you most sad now is that your husband no longer understands you as much as before, and you feel that he is beginning to favor his mother-in-law, but in fact, the vast majority of men have no clear bias in the face of the conflict between their wives and mothers, as long as they do not involve major issues of principle of right and wrong, their biggest expectation in their hearts is that their wives can use their brains to handle things well, instead of throwing a mess at him, losing his temper with him or letting him judge.
You might say, why doesn't he expect his mom to take care of things, but is getting more and more impatient with you? Because you also said that your mother-in-law's own quality is relatively poor, and your husband must have known this, otherwise he would not have understood you so much before. People usually don't expect a person with poor quality to handle all kinds of things well, so, your husband subconscious.
I think the responsibility for solving the problem lies with you.
So why didn't your husband step up and solve the problem? In fact, not only your husband, but most men will instinctively avoid dealing with family disputes, especially mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
The rights and wrongs of the room, a man can't be a judge, as long as the man gets involved in the affairs of his mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, he will either be coaxed on both sides and be splinted; Either both sides persuade, and both sides are offended.
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There are contradictions in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, no matter how good the relationship between husband and wife is, it will be affected, if it is not handled well, it may affect the happiness of the family.
1. The contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not a matter of principle.
You and your mother-in-law have this relationship only because of your lover, so the relationship is not very deep, there will be differences in living habits and attitudes towards life, a small friction can become a thorn in the hearts of two people, in fact, it is not a question of who is right and who is wrong, it may be a misunderstanding.
2. Keep a certain distance from your mother-in-law.
Mother-in-law is not a mother, don't think about being like a mother and daughter with her, you should respect her and stay away, because distance produces beauty, and you should be tactful when you speak, don't say that you are like this with your mother, you have no parenting relationship with her.
3. Let the mother-in-law appropriately.
My mother-in-law is old, and many of her thoughts have been solidified, and it is difficult to change, if it is not a matter of principle, you can turn a blind eye appropriately, and just pass.
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Understand and tolerate each other.
As the saying goes, the front lead is good, and a slap can't make a sound. The conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law may be because of some principled issues, or it may be because of trivial matters that have accumulated over time. Getting along with people is complex, and if you want to live in harmony, you must learn to understand each other.
Mother-in-law Hui should be considerate of her daughter-in-law, and daughter-in-law should respect her mother-in-law, so that they can get along in a friendly and harmonious manner.
Pay more and take less.
A big reason for the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is that both parties think that they are the one who pays the most. If the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law both hold such thoughts, when there is a conflict, most of them will only stand from their own point of view, and the more they think about it, the more they feel that it is the other party's problem. It's better for the two to be quiet, pay with peace of mind, and ask less, maybe the relationship will be more harmonious.
The problem of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law depends on the man.
Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law happen, son mediation, said in the middle, is the most effective method. The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not good, in fact, the man caught in the middle will not only be in a very embarrassing situation, but also may produce a vicious circle. As a man, you have to bear these pressures and find ways to mediate.
The most important point is that when there is a conflict between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, they should be fair and just, do not help each other, and calmly help both parties resolve the conflict.
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Try to divert your attention.
For example, if the mother-in-law discusses a certain point of view with us, and we do not agree with his parenting point of view, then at this time we can turn our attention to other places and not talk about this issue, many times the old man is diverted from the attention of the person, and he also knows that you don't like this topic, and he knows in his heart that you respect him and knows that you don't agree, so he will also learn to respect you.
It was up to the husband to intervene to stop it.
Mother-in-law is more willing to listen to her son's words, we find that in many families, in fact, everything the mother-in-law does is basically in accordance with the son's wishes, so at this time, the person we should most persuade should be their husband, let the husband believe in these things of science, because the husband is a young man, he is more able to accept the things conveyed by science than the mother-in-law, this idea is to let the husband admonish his mother-in-law for a while, then he will not become this evil person, And the mother-in-law and her husband will never turn their faces because of these words.
For some good advice, we can understand the old man's love for his grandson.
The reason why some people put forward these parenting ideas is actually because they love their grandchildren. Don't you feel happy to have such a woman who loves her son from his point of view? And not every of these methods proposed by the old man is unconfirmable, they do not agree with science, there are many so-called customs and customs, in fact, they are based on science, for these suggestions, we praise our mother-in-law.
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When the other party is busy, don't disrupt Bi Yi Yi to disturb.
In fact, while managing feelings, you are managing yourself. A good relationship needs to be evenly matched with each other.
Naturally, for a man, he will work hard to become excellent for love, so women must also learn to improve themselves, find self-worth, and compete with each other.
Then when the other party is busy, don't bother easily, learn to do what you like to do, and find your own hobbies.
No matter how much you love someone, set aside some time to love yourself and spend time on yourself.
If you blindly pay for a person, then it is easy to lose yourself, and it is not lovely for a person to lose themselves.
For a man, what he wants is a partner who can be on a par, who can understand and respect each other, and be able to grasp the distance between each other, and naturally the feelings will become sweeter and sweeter When the other party is emotional, don't blindly talk harshly.
In a relationship, no matter how good the relationship between two people is, there will be times of disputes and contradictions, and this is also the time when they are most vulnerable to each other.
Some people habitually follow their own minds and can't control their emotions, especially when the other party's temper is not good, saying some cruel things, which can only deepen each other's hatred and can't solve any problems.
Since you love someone, you must learn to understand the other person's temperament, understand the other person's psychology, and know when to say what to say and when not to say anything.
If you can grasp this degree, there will not be too much trouble and misunderstanding between two people.
The best way to encounter a problem is to calm down and solve it in time, so when there is a conflict with each other, and the other party is emotional, you must learn to control yourself, don't blindly talk harshly, which will only make each other into a stalemate.
Since you love someone, you have to learn to tolerate and endure, be relaxed and moderate, and it is better to maintain a relationship if you don't blindly care.
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In the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, the daughter-in-law is the weak party. In the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, I will always hear some mothers-in-law say: how pungent their daughter-in-law is, how aggrieved they are.
As they get older, coupled with their amazing acting skills, they often make us, as others, think that the mother-in-law has suffered a lot of grievances and how isolated she is.
However, many times, the truth of the matter is: the mother-in-law is not wronged, her old man just pretends to be a pig and eats a tiger.
In the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, the mother-in-law is often not the weak side, but the daughter-in-law is the weak side.
Some people say that the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is just a combination based on a marriage, not a blood acceptance.
If a strong mother-in-law met in a sedan chair, she couldn't realize that her grandson and son were married, and she still managed and even restricted her son's life just like when her son was single.
I can't get used to my daughter-in-law's living habits, insist on my own thoughts and ideas, and even don't care about the privacy of young people.
Getting along day and night will inevitably lead to a series of contradictions.
Once the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have a conflict and it begins to occur, the possibility of reconciliation will be very small, and it will even make the conflict between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law more intense.
As a daughter-in-law, instead of facing such a contradiction or being patient all the time, it is better to keep a certain distance from her mother-in-law, and the small couple living alone is conducive to avoiding contradictions. Therefore, independent living is not only to give yourself a complete space, but also a maintenance of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
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What is the conflict between your mother-in-law and daughter-in-law? Otherwise, the two of them will have a good talk, after all, who didn't come from their daughter-in-law.
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The contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not the fault of one person, but the responsibility of both parties, whether it is a daughter-in-law or a mother-in-law, once there is a conflict, it means that both people are problematic, some mothers-in-law are very strong, this situation will feel that the daughter-in-law is appropriate and outrageous, one side has a daughter-in-law is very strong, no matter how good the mother-in-law is, the daughter-in-law is not satisfied, the son swallows his anger, and there are many mothers-in-law who have suffered all the grievances. So it depends on the situation, not that it is very strong, it depends on the situation. In the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, the mother-in-law is often not the weak side, but the daughter-in-law is the isolated side.
1. Don't compare your mother-in-law with your mother-in-law, your mother-in-law treats her daughter and son better than her daughter-in-law, that's nature, and there is no need to be jealous. The mother-in-law is kind to other concubines, and the daughter-in-law can also understand it, because everyone has people who are inexplicably pleasing to the eye, which is normal. Mother-in-law is good to her husband's brother, that's more understandable, that's your husband's problem, it's none of your business.
Don't compare your mother-in-law with your mother, your daughter is the meat that fell from her mother, can she have no feelings? Second, there is a kind of man who loves to avoid problems, loves and mud, on the surface no one helps anyone, in fact, it is to throw all the problems to his wife, let his wife suffer all the grievances, he has neither the courage to face the contradictions, nor the responsibility and responsibility as a man. Therefore, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is getting worse and worse, and the wife is becoming more and more aggrieved.
3. In fact, there is no bad relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in this world, only a husband who does not act. When every woman gets married, she wants to live a good life, but in the end, because of her husband's inconsiderate and undistressed, she is forced to become strong. Fourth, as a husband, if you want a good relationship between your mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and you want your wife to be gentle and considerate, then you must show your attitude, because a woman's state after marriage depends on her husband's attitude.
As a husband, when there is a conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, he should stand on his wife's side without hesitation, but most men do not do this well, so it indirectly leads to the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law getting worse and worse. Therefore, getting along in a family, as a husband is also very important, if the husband does not deal with it correctly, it will exacerbate the conflict between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and only the sensible mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship will get along well.
If, according to what you said, if the mother-in-law dislikes the daughter-in-law, then the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law had better live separately, live separately, and go to see the mother-in-law during the New Year's holiday.
Mutual respect and love are the most important factors in family harmony.
I'm sure you often complain about your daughter-in-law, right? It is recommended that you praise your daughter-in-law in front of others more in the future, and ensure that your daughter-in-law will also praise you!
That's right, but if it's the mother who is wrong, then it should be said.
The problem between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is partly the generation gap between two generations, and the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are people who live in different generations, and they will have different views on how to deal with problems and look at things, and this is an insurmountable gap between the two generations, that is, the "generation gap." In fact, it is love, and the mother-in-law loves her son too much, and the daughter-in-law loves her husband too much, so no matter if the man in the middle is good to that woman, the other one will be very angry Mothers often find fault with their daughters-in-law because their sons are too affectionate to their daughters-in-law, so the causes of problems between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are good, and they all come from love, because they fall in love with a man at the same time, so as long as we handle this love properly, it will reduce a lot of unnecessary contradictions, and secondly, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not good, not that the mother-in-law is wrong, that is, that the daughter-in-law is not good, in my opinion, whether the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is tense or not depends entirely on the man who is caught in the middle - the son of the mother-in-law and the husband of the daughter-in-law If this man has played a good role in the middle, then I believe that the mother-in-law problem will no longer be a problem. >>>More