Why is the Chinese style mother in law and daughter in law relationship painful?

There is no such thing as a so-called "mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship" in this world, and the root and core of all mother-in-law and daughter-in-law problems is the relationship between husband and wife. Because your mother-in-law's attitude towards you is allowed by your husband.

If the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not good, the woman did not ask for a bride price when she got married, and the man went bankrupt, so she was bullied and not taken seriously when she married. Whoever marries the man who wants to become a poor bastard, the man is the ancestor for fear that the woman will be unhappy and all the money will be wasted.

As a daughter-in-law, you don't have to love your mother-in-law, as a son, you can't ask your wife to be filial to your mother, and don't take your mother-in-law's contribution for granted.

It's actually good to have their own ways and not interfere with each other. Some mothers-in-law, for fear that their children will suffer, stared at the lives of young couples and interfered with them. If the young couple has a plan, they don't need the mother-in-law to take the child, and some mother-in-law and the young couple force them to have children if they are not qualified to have children, saying that they will take the children.

Later, there were more and more contradictions, the mother-in-law felt that she could not help them well, and the daughter-in-law felt that she couldn't get used to what she bought and what her mother-in-law did. Take care of it!

Every husband must realize that the wife is the only mistress in your family. Between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, maintaining boundaries and respect is more important than deliberate love.

In fact, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have nothing to do with each other if they ask for less, and the mother-in-law hopes that her daughter-in-law will do laundry and cook when she marries into the family, and she will feel distressed when she takes care of her children and sons, and compares her daughter-in-law with her daughter, and she doesn't want to care about anything when she is pregnant and has a baby, and she doesn't treat her daughter-in-law as a family at all! The daughter-in-law hopes that her mother-in-law will contribute money and interfere less with the couple's belly in the final analysis.

There are also foreign countries that are not harmonious, but everyone lives separately, the relationship is good and interacts more, the relationship is not good and the interaction is less, and young people abroad do not want parents to take care of children, do not want the elderly to take care of housework, financial independence, the elderly do not interfere in the lives of their children, do not worry so much, do not require their children to be around, and arrange their own pensions, of course, there are not so many contradictions and pains.

gave birth to a child, and the mother-in-law asked for a smooth delivery, and she was not allowed to use **; With children, the daughter-in-law treats her mother-in-law as a free nanny, and she is also picky about the quality of service, and tears it up if she disagrees.

Two generations have been forcibly pulled into this so-called "love", and in fact, there is no sense of boundaries, and coercive love often breeds control and demand, and only ferments hatred.

The wiring between the daughter-in-law and the in-laws is not clear! The daughter-in-law married into her in-law's family and did not treat her in-laws as her own parents! The in-laws didn't really treat their daughter-in-law as a family!

Treat your daughter-in-law as an outsider! The daughter-in-law married her and his family was pregnant and gave birth to a child for a few years, and she didn't help take care of the child during confinement, so the daughter-in-law felt uncomfortable! Vengeful!

Each other can't put themselves in the right position, can't put it down, can't see it, can't solve it, can't escape, more precisely, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is like a thorn in the palm of the hand, don't pick uncomfortable, pick even more uncomfortable.

In fact, if there are no major issues of right and wrong and principle, there is no need to keep your eyes on those details. There is never a perfect family of origin, even if you do everything yourself, your children will have all kinds of problems, and they may be full of complaints about you when they grow up.

The issue of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is Chinese characteristics, and to put it bluntly, it is a culture of struggle, which is nothing to do and increase internal friction. It's just that the status of women in ancient times was too low and they couldn't have a career, so they began to do things in the backyard of their homes, and over time, the problem of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law continued. The dross of the dross!

It is said that women should be embarrassed by women, but in fact, many women, especially those who think feudal, are more difficult for women, this is the happiness I can't get, and you don't want to get it.

I want to be a hostess, after my mother-in-law got married, I had to give her the three gold and my family's dowry money, crying 2 troubles and 3 hanging, I really couldn't stand to return the three gold to her, I and my husband came out single, after marriage really made me gain knowledge, and such parents, not so parents want their children to be good.

A common mistake that many girls make in marriage is that they like to stare at those they don't like, and they like to stare at trivial things.

Because the mother-in-law did not treat her daughter-in-law as a daughter-in-law, but asked her daughter-in-law to treat her as her own mother.

Now the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is becoming more and more intense, in the final analysis, because of the development of society, on the one hand, let women study, work, and earn money to support their families like men, on the other hand, the idea is still stuck in the old society, daughter-in-law needs to take care of the family, serve the in-laws, more and more highly educated women around are unwilling to get married, really very understanding, such as myself, take care of the children can not go to work, once back to my hometown, there are always so many people ask: Why don't you go to work? I'm annoyed every time, so I'll just say it now

Are you going to take the kids for me? Then I would say: You can go to work when your child goes to kindergarten, and I will say:

Are you going to pick up after school at four o'clock?

Because there are no boundaries, the day a man gets married, he should be independent, and don't let his mother get involved in your own family life.

If you have to have a mother-in-law take care of the children, don't think that she will raise the children your way, and you will be a little less crazy to establish such a psychological foundation.

The philosophy of confusion is not only prevalent in the cruel Chinese society, but also the way of survival; It is also prevalent in the same cruel Chinese family, so the Chinese family is easy to be confused like a pot of porridge.

Because there can only be one hostess in a family, one mountain does not tolerate two tigers, and mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have their own faults, so there are naturally fewer contradictions.

The mother-in-law's family always takes the purpose as the result, and the poor deceive the poor and can't afford to support the daughter-in-law, and the rich are always thinking about changing to a new one, and the mother-in-law will not be good if it is not good, because his mother is ugly and he also has it. Good people are good everywhere, and mothers are virtuous. It's not good to break up with your mother-in-law as soon as possible, otherwise you won't be as good as a ghost!

There is no need for a mother-in-law to treat her daughter-in-law as a daughter, and a daughter-in-law should not treat her mother-in-law as a mother. It's good to turn a blind eye to something