Solicit jokes that happen to roommates, solicit small jokes that happen in class

A few days ago** answer: Originally, the teacher asked the question, but then the method was changed, and the student was asking the question. The teacher is here.

There are a few scenes that are very interesting:

A teacher took a drawing, and after reading it:"Hahahahaha. There are dozens of them in total).Ha! This one.

You can't make a picture! "The student who drew the picture didn't know what to do, when he saw the tutor rushing up and holding the calculation.

The machine and hands danced wildly in the air, and then began the long era of generation students.

The one just now"Hahaha. "The laughing teacher picked up his student's ** and said proudly"I.

This student has done it fifteen times! "At this time, a teacher next to him stuck his head out from a long distance, and he didn't look at it yet.

seconds, and said:"It's a mistake here! "The teacher holding the computer came over to take a look"Hey, hey, hey, hey! What a mistake! "

What happened then was that everyone was over, and the students were happy. Except for a few teachers who went out in the middle.

NO1 During a self-study session, the teacher came in to see if we were doing our homework properly, and after a round of the tour, I became interested in the homework done by my neighbor, and I didn't forget to pick my nostrils with my hands while sticking my head out to watch him do the problems. Just listen"Smack"With a bang, the teacher's black nose fell onto the homework book next to him! The teacher should have been very embarrassed to stand there and didn't know what to say, and then the thunder happened:

I saw my neighbor slowly raise his head, look at the teacher and say, "Thank you, Lord Longen!"

NO2 High School, the summer in Chongqing, it was very hot, and it happened that the intern teacher came to the first class, so I must have been a little nervous, watching him walk on the podium in a hurry, sweating profusely, while saying, "It's so hot", while turning on the electric fan, after turning on the switch, he continued to fan it with his hands, looking at the whole class and saying, "It's much cooler now." The whole class burst into laughter...

Because... The power outage ...... todayEmbarrassment...

NO3 In chemistry class in high school, the teacher demonstrated to us the chemistry experiment, the alcohol lamp heated the liquid in the test tube, the teacher called a female classmate to try to heat up on the podium, let us observe the changes in the liquid in the test tube, the result was that the girl was very timid, the posture of the tube was not right, it should be about 45 degrees when it was heated, and she was more and more vertical from 45 degrees, and at this time the loudest student in the class shouted "Straight!" Straight! The class focused on a moment, and he only then did he react.

Geography class is in class, and the principal is listening. In order to create some atmosphere, the teacher looked at the globe and asked the students: What are the more things in the class today!

Student: More principals, teachers: Is the principal a thing?

Student: The principal is not a thing.

In a Chinese class, a classmate turned pale, but the teacher ignored him. When the teacher turned back some board books, he only heard a wheezing, and the same table quickly poured the eight-treasure porridge on the table. The back table learned to take a small spoon and took a bite and said:

Hey! This dude ate peanuts Miye! ：”

The teacher vomited!!

Once the teacher asked us what numbers we had learned: even numbers, composite numbers, prime numbers... Suddenly, a classmate said, "Unknown."

Keep up with the money.

At a military reward meeting, there were a lot of bonuses, all of which were placed on the rostrum, and there was a squad that was rewarded for its outstanding performance, and they were all called to the rostrum, and the squad leader shouted: "Look forward - Qi!" The whole class looked at the money on the left side of the podium!

My companion and I were shopping in the streets, perhaps in a panic, and came up with a prank. First of all, select the tracking target, and good! It was the hapless man who changed his hair, who first kept a distance, whispered, and pointed ahead with his finger, and then his voice gradually increased so that he thought we were talking about him.

Then when the time comes, shout: handsome guy!! The man turned around, and we leaned back with laughter.

Narcissism

Men learn bad when they have money, and women learn bad when they learn badly.

A teacher with a heavy accent dictated "Wo Chun" to his students as follows:

Lying in the spring dark plum smells the flowers, the lying branches are sad and hateful, and the shore is like water in the distance, and it is easy to penetrate the spring green.

The shore is like green, the shore is like green, and the shore is like green.

One student dictated as:

I'm stupid and uneducated, I have a very low IQ, and if you want to ask me who I am, a big stupid donkey.

I'm a donkey, I'm a donkey, I'm a stupid donkey.

Moreover, if you ask someone to help you read the original "Wo Chun", you see "I'm stupid" (read by that person), which is even funnier.

I am a college student.

Just now, I suddenly remembered that I hadn't contacted my family for a long time, so I made up a blessing text message and sent it to my father.

The phone rang immediately, and Dad's was only three words: "How much?" ”

As soon as a bus left the station, a person from behind ran from afar, shouting as he ran: "Master, wait a minute!" Master, wait! At this time, a passenger poked his head out of the window and said to him: "Bajie, don't chase, you can't catch up."

There was an honest man who couldn't lie, so he wanted one of the best liars in the village to teach him to lie. The man who could lie taught him for more than a month told the honest man to tell a lie. Do you know what that honest man said?

He said, "Hey, hey! Tell you, I'm dumb! ”

2.A couple divorced, and they had an argument over who owned their children.

The woman said:"The child came out of my body and should belong to me. "

The man frowned and said"Why are you so stupid? Let's take an example, if you go to a bank ATM to withdraw money, and the money comes out of the ATM, can you say that the money belongs to the ATM? It obviously belongs to the person who inserted the card. "

3.In a refrigerator, I heard a conversation about a couple of eggs, and the first said to the second, "Look he's so scary," and the second said to the third

You see how terrible he is The third said to the fourth: It's really all hairy mullahs The fifth heard it and said, "Get out, I'm a macaque escape."

4.There was a child who sold tofu and always thought that the nun was the daughter-in-law of a monk. One day, a nun went to buy tofu, and the child called her "monk's daughter-in-law".

This made the nun angry, and left without giving money for tofu, and the child sat on the ground and cried.

At this time, a monk happened to pass by, and the child stepped forward to grab him and said, "Your daughter-in-law doesn't give money for tofu when she buys tofu!" ”

The monk said, "Where do I have a daughter-in-law?" ”

The child said, "That's the nun." ”

The monk said, "If you call her aunt, she will give you the money." ”

The child happily went to the nun: "Auntie, give me the tofu money." ”

When the nun saw that the child no longer called her "monk's daughter-in-law", she happily gave the money and asked, "Who made you call her that?" ”

Q: What do the chiefs of African cannibals eat?

A: Man! Q: One day, the chief was sick and the doctor told him to be vegetarian, so what did he eat?

A: Eat vegetative people! ~~

The mother said to her son, "Toto, go and practice playing the piano, and I'll give you a franc." ”

The son replied, "Okay." However, our neighbor promised me two francs if I didn't play the piano! “