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Anonymous users2024-02-05Student: "Teacher, yesterday I saw a rabbit on the ground. ”
Teacher: "Didn't I teach the use of quantifiers?" Animals should use their heads and only, and flat things should be used with "zhang".
Student (aggrieved): But when I saw it in the middle of the road, it was already a flat surface. ”
Yu Qian didn't study well when he was a child, and when his grades were not good, he often went home and often panicked with his father.
His dad bought a polygraph ......
One day, when Yu Qian came back from the exam, his father asked: How many points did you score?
Yu Qian: 90.
Toot toot toot ......The polygraph went off.
His dad asked: To be honest, how many points?
Yu Qian: 80.
Toot toot toot ......It rang again.
His father was anxious: This unlucky child, to be honest, how many points?
Yu Qian: 70.
Toot toot toot ......The lie detector went off again.
His father trembled with anger: Tell the truth!!
Yu Qian: 40 ......
Toot toot toot ......
His father couldn't help it and said, "You have wasted all my hard work, why don't you learn from me." I think your father and I scored 100 points in the exam back then, ......
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Anonymous users2024-02-04Once, in order to understand the overseas Chinese student's Chinese level, the teacher casually asked him some relevant idioms.
Can you name an idiom that describes how happy a person looks? The Chinese teacher asked a question and said: However, it is better to have a number in this idiom, such as. One, two, three, four
The overseas Chinese student thought about it for a while and said happily
I see, smiling nine springs !
Ha! What a smile nine springs ! The whole class laughed, and the elderly Chinese teacher almost fainted.
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Anonymous users2024-02-03A woman got off the night shift, a man followed the plot, the woman was afraid, passed by the cemetery, and said to the grave: Dad, I'm back, open the door. The man was terrified, screaming and running.
The woman was at peace and was about to leave, when suddenly a gloomy voice came from the grave: "Girl, you forgot to bring the key again." The woman was frightened and ran away.
At this time, a tomb robber came out of the grave and said: Damn, delay my work, scare you to death! As soon as the words of tomb robbing fell, I found that an old man next to him was carving a tombstone with a chisel, curious, and asked, the old man said angrily, nnd, they carved my name wrong......The great fear of robbing the tomb, waw wow screaming and running.
The old man sneered:"Damn, dare to grab business with me, and be a little more ......tender"As he was talking, the chisel accidentally fell to the ground, and the old man was about to pick it up, when he bent down, he found that the chisel was held in one hand in the grass, and the old man was startled, and suddenly a voice said:"You're looking for death!
Changing the house number of my house!! "。The old man is rolling down the hill!
At this time, a scavenger crawled out of the grass"Damn, it takes so much effort to make a piece of iron.
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Anonymous users2024-02-02In class, Gan emphasizes trick-or-treating.
After class, the teacher said, "Gan Qiang, why do you always disagree?" ”
Gan Qiang said: "My surname is destined to be dishonest and lonely. ”
The teacher said, "Gan Qiang, why are your grades always downstream?" ”
Gan Qiang said: "My surname is destined for my unsatisfactory grades, and I am willing to be behind." ”
The teacher said angrily, "Why do you like to stand under the electric fan all the time?" ”
Gan Qiang said: "My surname is destined to like to be close to the electric fan, and I am willing to bow to the wind." ”
Xiaomao went to kindergarten, and one day, the teacher asked: Who knows how many countries there are in the world?
Xiao Mao said: I know!
The teacher said, "Then tell me which countries they are?"
Xiao Mao said: There are two countries, that is, China and foreign countries!
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Anonymous users2024-02-01The student replied: "Since ancient times, no one has no, and no one has used paper to poop." ”
The teacher was angry and told the student to stand up.
The following year, the teacher asked the student the same question. That's when the students got smarter.
He replied: "Since ancient times, no one has no, and no one has no paper for stool." If you don't use toilet paper, unless you use your fingers. "The teacher is very hot, and he has called the students to punish the station!
At this time, the teacher saw the snow outside the window, and said regretfully: "It didn't rain when it snowed on the sky, but the snow turned into rain on the ground." When it rains, it's troublesome, why didn't it rain in the first place? ”
The student replied to the teacher: "The teacher doesn't eat when he eats, and the food will become in his stomach." How troublesome it is when it becomes, why didn't you eat in the first place. ”
Just like that, the teacher fainted on the spot! Haha......
The geography teacher asked, "The river is flowing to **?" ”
One of the students stood up and sang, "The river flows eastward!" ”
The teacher ignored him and continued, "How many stars are there in the sky?" ”
The student sang again, "The stars in the sky are in the Big Dipper!" ”
The teacher was angry: "You get out of here!" ”
Student: "Let's go!" ”
The teacher was helpless: "Are you sick?" ”
Student: "You have me, I have everything!" ”
Teacher: "You can sing one more sentence!" ”
Student: "The road is uneven, and I will roar all my life!" ”
Teacher: "Do you believe that I will play you?" ”
Student: "Shoot when it's time to shoot!" ”
The teacher was angry: "I'll let you quit school!" ”
Student: "Wind and fire! ”
Haha......Tell your friends to see. Smile more and worry less.
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Anonymous users2024-01-31China, the Soviet Union, and the United States** each hunted down a rabbit and made it confess to the crime. The United States caught a rabbit as fast as he could, he put the rabbit on the ground and said, "You have the right to be silent...."The rabbit ran away.
The Soviets walked out of the forest and threw the scaly and dying rabbit on the ground. At this time, the Chinese ** escorted a monkey out of the forest, and the monkey raised his hand and lowered his head as he walked, saying, "I am a rabbit, I am a rabbit." ”
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Anonymous users2024-01-301 The worker said: "We are already communist". Someone asked, "Why?"
du?The worker said, "We have realized the distribution principle that each according to his ability and each according to his ability." "What? The man asked again. The worker said, "Don't you see that our leaders take what they need, and the workers do what they can!" ”
2 "Can a communist state have a two-party system? No, it can't be, because we can't afford it. ”
3 - Does communism still have a currency? - The revisionists in Yugoslavia say there will be, the Chinese dogmatists say no, we look at the problem dialectically: there is, but not everyone has it.
4 Is communism a science or an art? Of course, it's art, and if it's science, you should experiment with mice first.
5 A couple who have a child who looks like their parents is born according to the reactionary theory of genetics, and if they look like their neighbors, it is born according to Lysenko's revolutionary doctrine of environmental determination.
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