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This is an empirical mistake that I cannot agree with. Although the parents' starting point is good, they do not stand in the child's position to look at these issues, do not understand the child's feelings, the child will also grow up, and also have their own views and opinions, parents can not interfere too much with the child, some things should be made by the child to make their own decisions, the parents' views can be used as a reference. So I think parents always do everything and influence their children's own decisions.
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In fact, this is also the parents' love for their children, but this is the right way for them to love, hoping to pave the way for their children, so that children suffer less, maybe their way is not acceptable to us, but you can't deny the love of parents, if you are not willing to live according to your parents' arrangements, you can talk to your parents well, so that your parents understand you, ditch is the best way to solve the problem.
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The ability to choose is poor, because since childhood, parents have done everything, relying on parents for everything, and relying on parents everywhere. From the day I became sensible, I had to accept everything arranged by my parents: what kind of interest classes to enroll, what kind of children I chose to play with, etc.
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I grasp my own happiness, and my parents respect it. It's not obedience. It's understandable that parents want their children to choose for you according to their wishes, but they often ignore your feelings.
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Life is your own, not your parents', you have to tell your parents well, don't impose your will on your children, they only have suggestions and references, happiness is your own.
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In fact, in today's society, whether it is arranged or free love, it is impossible to withstand the wind and rain, women must have their own job if they want to be self-reliant, have their own independent thoughts, not humble or arrogant, men are the same, after the freshness, regardless of her freedom or arrangement, the final idea is not too far from the ending.
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This is the generation gap between our parents and us, our parents' life experience, life experience is richer than ours, in order to prevent us from taking detours, they are always willing to make decisions for us in many things, but ignore our thoughts, hey, pity the world's parents.
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I really can't stand it. Fortunately, my parents are not like this, although my parents sometimes help me think about problems but will not ignore the decision for me, I met a friend's parents often do everything without advice, because they were learning to drive together at the time, my friend's mother's assertion affected me, so it was really annoying, I couldn't help but talk about it. I passed the first three subjects successfully, and when I was in the fourth subject, I often heard my mother tell me to finish the exam quickly, and I was also doing exercises, and I also planned to make an appointment for the exam in mid-August.
But just the day before yesterday, my mother suddenly received a verification code and said that it was for the test, at that time my mother was also blinded, knowing that I couldn't make an appointment so soon, and then the classmate's mother called a ** and said that she called the person with a driver's license to make an appointment, and my mother asked her if she had asked us to make an appointment, but she didn't expect her to say unashamedly, no, ignore it, and make an appointment to naturally take the test.
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Strongly opposed. Marriage is your life's work, so why listen to others. Otherwise you will regret it for the rest of your life. Let's take their words as a reference. Don't be hasty.
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Many parents like to take care of everything for their children, and there are several serious consequences for doing so:
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1. Lack of sense of responsibility. Once the child is used to being arranged by adults, he will take it for granted that this is what adults should do, and she will enjoy everything that adults have to offer. There is a serious lack of accountability.
When they grow up, they may become gnawing elders or social parasites. And they themselves will not be happy, because they do not get a sense of accomplishment and feel that they are so useless.
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2. Lack of self-confidence. Success through self-effort is the best way for children to gain self-confidence. But the child was disappointed to find that his efforts were still unfinished, and his parents had already helped to do it.
This discourages the child and perceives him as weak, which in turn leads to a loss of confidence.
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3. Loss of the ability to think independently. When I encounter a problem, I think about my parents, and I don't think about how to solve it. This can seriously impair the child's ability to think independently.
Develop the habit of independent thinking, will have a very significant impact on the child's future life, the child has the ability to think independently, it will be easier than others to find the problem, he can think about the problem, and then analyze the problem specifically, find the answer to this problem, when the child grows up, he should also have a broader perspective than others, and because he is good at thinking, so his thinking should be more thorough. With the ability to think independently, he will have more opportunities than others and will be more likely to succeed in his career.
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Fourth, there is no perseverance. The growth of children's perseverance needs to rely on their own exploration and practice, even if they fail, they will repeat and break through more than once, during which their cognitive abilities will be developed until they master the skills. Out of distress, parents can't help but do it, I will help you turn over, I will feed you when you eat, I will hug you when you fall, I will wear clothes, I will carry my schoolbag, and I will write my homework.
Children are imprisoned by the love of their parents within a certain range, depriving them of opportunities to grow and exercise again and again, and hindering the development of their abilities. All parents will do it for themselves, and they don't need to work hard, so they will retreat when they encounter problems, and their psychological qualities of bravery, strength, and perseverance will not be developed, and they will become cowardly, and it will be difficult to gain a foothold in society.
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In fact, I think that if parents take care of everything for their children too much, it is easier for them to have a rebellious mentality, because after all, when children are older, they want to have their own space to think about some problems independently, and if they continue to do so, it will backfire.
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This will make the child incapable of autonomy and will depend on the parents for many things, which is not advisable.
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The dangers of parents doing everything are as follows:
1. Special treatment can easily cause children to become selfish, have no sympathy, and will not care about others;
2. Excessive attention of parents can easily lead to children being restless all day long, and their attention is extremely distracted;
3. Parents' easy satisfaction with their children will inevitably develop the bad character of children who do not cherish things, pay attention to material enjoyment, waste money and are inconsiderate of others, and have no patience and hardship;
4. It is easy to cause children to live lazy, lack of self-motivation and curiosity, and to get by.
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The dangers of parents arranging a vertical cut are as follows:
1. Special treatment can easily cause children to become selfish, have no sympathy, and will not care about others;
2. Excessive attention of parents can easily lead to children being restless all day long, and their attention is extremely distracted;
3. The easy satisfaction of parents for their children will inevitably develop the bad character of children who do not cherish things, pay attention to material enjoyment, waste money and are inconsiderate of others, and have no patience and hardship;
4. It is easy to cause children to live lazy, lack of self-motivation and curiosity, be passable and stupid, and do things with a beginning and no end.
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Many parents like to take care of everything for their children, what are the consequences of doing so?
Hello, I'm glad to answer for you, there are three consequences of this behavior of parents: first: children are pampered, parents have done everything, children are squeamish, all are princesses, princes, and have no ability to resist pressure.
Second: children have no hands-on ability, can not adapt to society, without the help of parents, children can not adapt to the society to better survive Third: children do not have their own thoughts, accept their parents' arrangements everywhere, do not have the ability to plan their own lives, there is hope, what to do if their parents are not there.
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You are already an adult and have the right to accept and reject what anyone else asks you to do. So in the face of parents like you, be sure to communicate with them comprehensively about this matter. Tell them you don't like that. This should be done concretely.
First, find a time to sit down and talk to your parents about what they think about them always asking you to do things you don't like. If your parents don't think that they make you do something you don't like, it means that they don't pay attention to your feelings at all.
Second, try to do your part well, so that your parents believe that you can make your own decisions and plan your own life, and you don't need your parents to tell you what to do.
Third, separate yourself from your parents. Because you are an adult who has entered society, you don't need to implement everything according to your parents' wishes and decisions, you have your own thoughts and ideas, and if you are not fundamentally separated, then many of your major decisions in the future will be influenced by them.
In fact, I have a deep feeling for this matter, because my mother is a person who loves to worry about my affairs, and even she likes to "arrange", but I am indeed a person who does not like to let others do a lot of things for me, so in order to avoid such things, I silently did a lot of resistance, such as often doing things first and then playing, and only informing them of the final result. It turns out that I have done a lot of things by myself, and I don't necessarily need the advice and participation of my parents, and there are many cases like this, I believe that they will let go of your heart, and they will not ask you to do this and that often. The premise is that you must correct your idea of relying on your parents, and it is not so difficult to listen to them, try to express your thoughts, and your parents will understand you and choose to let go.
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When we were young, it was our parents who arranged many things for us in life or study. And we are very accustomed to such a state, but at a stage when we grow older and mature mentally, we will slowly find ourselves at a time when we always advocate and treat ourselves as children to decide a lot of things for ourselves, and we will feel a little uncomfortable and uncomfortable at this time. And there will be more and more rejection of this behavior of theirs.
I myself belong to this kind of more rebellious people. I don't like to be tied down by a lot of things, and when I was in high school, this was the stage where it was most obvious. And I don't know why I changed so much at that time.
I began to yearn for absolute freedom, and I didn't like to be constrained by many people and many things. I want to leave this place of life and pursue that freedom in my heart. But in the end, I slowly accepted the reality, because the college entrance examination was the biggest problem at that stage.
Although my parents always advocated a lot of things in my life or studies at that time, I chose to understand them at that time, and did not choose a very extreme behavior to express my resistance. But they didn't feel that my concession was a sign of respect for them, but that it would cause some obstacles to my life later in life. When I was in college, I was a relatively rational person, and I didn't do things very impulsively.
So I chose to take the initiative to communicate with them.
In the process of communication, I slowly learned some of their ideas. They just want to know more about my life, and then stand on their experience and give me some guidance on life and study, so that I can have a better development. At that time, I slowly understood that he was a kind of love for me, not a kind of comfort for me, so I also began to understand them.
Looking back at this now, I've handled it very well. They weren't frustrated by some of my rejections, and I wasn't embarrassed by some of their meddling.
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I don't think it's appropriate for parents to always be arrogatory and do everythingBecause children have their own ideas and opinions, they should consult with them for advice.
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For young people, parents who are always assertive and do everything can feel like they are not free. I just want to get rid of my parents' control. But when people reach middle age, they will feel that it is a very happy thing to have parents to worry about themselves.
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I would feel very uncomfortable, my initiative was not being used very well, and I would tell them that I believed that I could handle things on my own and that I didn't need them to do everything.
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I think they are too boundary-minded, in fact, children are independent individuals, and only by letting go of their own children to accomplish some things, they can grow up completely.
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Parents can give their children some advice, but they can't do their children's things, and what they think is good may not be what the child likes.
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I think that there are very few cases of parental arrangement in this kind of society now, and we accept the idea that the people are the masters of the country, and we are now a free society, with our own rights, and can be able to take responsibility for ourselves, so I am very unoptimistic about this practice.
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I don't like parents to be assertive about their children, after all, the child has his own consciousness, what does he want to do? Don't want to do anything? Children should learn to handle things on their own.
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