I was emotionally frustrated and asked for a counselor.

Your description is too simplistic. I don't know what's going on with you and your girlfriend, and I can't figure it out.

I can only give you some of my exams.

I figured this out when I first fell out of love. Start a relationship and lose a piece of innocence. End a relationship.

Broken a whole heart. But when I looked at the sentence 3 years later, I realized how naïve it was. Feelings, I can say so, it's the rich man's game.

I don't dare to say anything else, as long as you have money, you can find girls with good conditions, and it's easy. It is said that money is not everything. But not when you don't have money.

And tell you that I see junior high school students and high school students hugging each other on the street. I mourn for them. It's true. There was not even money to open a room. Can you say you can not be sad?

In that said. It doesn't matter what the reason you broke up. The final results are in. There is a saying in Buddhism. There is a cause before there is an effect.

I don't understand the meaning of this sentence well from others. I feel like when you have the result, don't think about whether it's good or bad. You should first summarize why this is the case. A successful person must be a person who can summarize.

Finally, I will give you a word, if you can, then you can, if you can't, then you can go for it, but if you can't, then you have to accept that you can't.

Well, finally, I wish you a happy day. Always remember that you are not living for anyone. Her departure didn't take away your sky, and there was time to go out into the wild. The sky is still so blue. The clouds are still so dashing.

Time is the best doctor.

If the two of them are over, then, pick up what should be picked up, and put down what should be put down, because life has to go on. Everything is difficult at the beginning, and you will get used to it slowly, otherwise you will find your best friend and go out and be crazy and happy! Always talk to someone, think about your dreams, and then find things to do to enrich yourself as much as possible.

Time can dilute everything.

Someone asked me, can a counselor help solve a quarrel and break up?

Wen Cao Huaining is a national second-level psychological counselor.

A significant number of my counselling cases have come to me for help because of emotional distress. Couples and couples quarrel and break up for various reasons, and one or both of them want to help solve the problem through psychological counseling, which is a very positive approach. Why does counseling work on emotional conflicts?

In my opinion, the basis of human relations is "need", and "need" here refers to a wide range of physical and emotional needs. Whether two people can live in harmony depends on what their needs are, what are the ways to meet them, and most importantly, whether they can understand each other's needs and cooperate with each other

If any of the above aspects go wrong in the process of getting along, the relationship may have conflicts and problems.

When couples or couples come to me, I first help them understand what their needs are, and whether they have the will and ability to understand and meet each other's needs. If both sides are unwilling or unable to understand and meet each other's most basic and important needs, then the contradiction will be very acute and even difficult to reconcile.

At this point, I will help them see the other person's personality traits and try to make both parties understand how it will affect the relationship if they don't make concessions or changes. Many people indulge in quarrels, not because they are unwilling to change, but because they don't know how.

IfCounsellors can be of great benefit to a couple as an experienced and neutral outsider who can help them see their problems with each other, give appropriate advice, and even help them establish a new way of getting along。This is how counseling works.

Sometimes, there is no fatal problem between a couple, but the love and patience between the two people have been exhausted after a long quarrel, so even if the counselor intervenes at this time, it is often powerless. Once a person's heart is dead, it is difficult to revive it.

Therefore, if we feel that our relationship with our lover has been stumbling and we don't know how to start solving it, we must not be afraid to seek professional help. Don't shatter your happiness with your own hands.

The perfection complex and the perfection personality are different here. The perfection complex here refers to the client's belief that the counselor is perfect, or that the counselor is trying to be more perfect in front of the client.

In my daily life, many people ask me: what do you do? When I :

I am a counselor. Many people will have a look of surprise. It may be that the psychology industry started relatively late in our country, and people's understanding of this industry is lacking.

In addition, psychological counselors are currently a scarce industry, and they will say that they don't know much about this industry, and they feel very mysterious. In their imagination, the counselor's personality is at least perfect, the family is harmonious, and the child is excellent. Others even believe that a counselor can read through a person's mind.

Last year, I made a public welfare sand table for a child in a primary school, and after communicating with the child's mother several times in the process, it was of great help to her family and children's learning. At this time, the child's mother praised me very much, such as: In order to talk to me for a while, in the cold wind of winter, she accompanied me to walk a long way from school to the bus stop, and waited until I got on the bus.

He will also praise himself in front of others, and so on.

Judgments are divided into positive judgments, negative judgments, and appropriate judgments. Both positive and negative judgments can hurt us. Would anyone say that positive judgment can also hurt?

If I praise you, surely it hurts? The answer is yes. Behind this mother's praise for me is the high demand and high expectation for me, which is a disservice to both parties.

In fact, there are risks in doing so, as counselors are first and foremost human beings, and psychological counseling is just our job. If the client imagines us to be perfect, or the counselor tries to be more perfect in front of the client, then the client will look up to us, identify with us, and work in our direction to be what we are, and of course this is what the client imagines. In this way, the client will be burdened with a lot of psychological pressure, and the counseling relationship is a relationship between superiors and subordinates, rather than equality.

In this context, the client looks up to the counselor instead of looking at it, and some may even fall into the quagmire of blind worship and become dependent on the counselor.

There is another risk of doing this, and that is empathy. Empathy is the process by which the client transfers his or her emotions, attitudes, and attributes toward his or her parents, or an important person in his or her past life, to the counselor, and responds accordingly to the counselor. When empathy occurs, the counselor becomes a substitute for an emotional experience.

Self-openness, also known as self-exposure, refers to the counselor's emotions, thoughts, and experiences to share with the client, or to open up attitudes towards the client, or to open up to experiences, experiences, and emotions related to oneself. When the counselor opens up to himself, the client will not think that the counselor is perfect, and there will be strengths and weaknesses, and he will not blindly worship him. So that the visitor will not Alexander.

An equal, open, safe and free environment for both parties will facilitate the smooth progress of the consultation.

Summary. Emotional counseling is generally aimed at adjusting personal feelings, such as friend feelings, relatives feelings, lovers' feelings, marriage emotions, etc. If you are depressed because of your first love, you can find a few emotional counselors to help you do a few emotional readjustments, so that you can fully meet the past relationship and get out of this relationship faster.

It should be emphasized that eat more fresh vegetables and fruits, exercise properly to enhance physical fitness.

Hello, I would like to consult about emotional and psychological issues.

Hello, I'd like to ask if I'm going to be made public.

When it comes to my personal privacy.

Emotional counseling is generally aimed at adjusting personal feelings, such as friend feelings, relatives feelings, lovers' feelings, marriage emotions, etc. If you are depressed because of your first love, you can find a few emotional counselors to help you do a few emotional readjustments, so that you can fully meet the past relationship and get out of this relationship faster. It should be emphasized that eat more fresh vegetables and fruits, exercise properly to enhance physical fitness.

It won't be made public.

Good. Then let me talk about my problem, I fell in love with a very beautiful man in September last year, he is pure and sunny, before I met him, I never thought that I would like such a man, but he was unfortunately wronged as a heinous person and was forced to withdraw from the circle, after knowing everything about him, I liked him even more.

I know there's still Kuroko scolding him, but I don't care about this situation, what if I feel more and more like him now.

As long as you don't wronged him, don't care what others say or think, because what you know about him is different from what others understand!

In fact, you have made a choice, but the current environment does not allow it, if you really want not to be together, you and he will explain the situation to each other's parents, as for the child is innocent, let the boy take this, many reasons, you will understand.

You are typical premarital phobia.

It may be a fear of marriage, don't look for a psychiatrist on the Internet, it should be best to have a face-to-face interview, it should be available in all major hospitals.

Retrieving a relationship is a technical job, I will teach you how to save a relationship, not 100 percent, not 0 percent, everything is in yourself, everything is in your mentality, when your mentality is not strong enough to re-examine the relationship, well, just when I didn't say it! In fact, I think the best recovery is actually not to recover, and of course I can't do it.

Well, after the breakup, if you want to redeem it, you still need to deal with it coldly.

What is cold treatment? During this period, you can collect each other's information through relatives and friends, etc., and properly understand each other's dynamics, but don't bother each other, the meaning of cold treatment is to calm down both you and the other party, at this moment you are thinking about the other party, but although the other party rejects you, even very ruthlessly refused, the attitude is unusually resolute, but this does not mean that the other party does not want you... Don't be fooled by the illusion, of course, the degree of thinking varies according to the actual situation, what do you think of you?

Maybe thinking about the happy time you get along, maybe thinking about your good, maybe the other party is also hesitating whether to regret whether you shouldn't break up, and maybe even thinking about your bad, hehe

How long does cold treatment take? This depends on the person and the specific situation, some people half a month is enough, and some people may be three months! During the cold treatment time, maybe the other party is also curious about how you are?

It is possible to eliminate the negative attitude towards you, and the smaller the negative attitude towards you, the easier it is to change the mind about you! During this period of cold treatment, you need to think and reflect positively, and you need to "reinvent yourself.""(This needs to be carefully experienced). When your new self enters the other person's life anew, you can think about it, what kind of novelty is it?

At this time, you are intervening as a friend, and you are not abruptly going with the flow, and I believe that the other party's rejection of you will not be so strong, and this is a good start

Hello, when happiness comes to you, you use various methods to cherish and maintain it.

When happiness is about to pass, it is a pain and a difficulty to redeem it.

It is suggested that if both parties have psychological love, time will slowly make you more likely to recover.

Learn to analyze the reasons, think about the reasons from your own and the other party's, and use the other party's interests to impress, If the other party can no longer understand and accept, I think it's time to let go.

Sometimes letting go is also giving each other happiness.

Sometimes the more you try to redeem someone, the more irreparable it becomes. Is that person important to you? Or you can't get past yourself on your own.

Do you want to win back someone who is no longer attached to you? I'm afraid it's not easy. After all, no one can force their hearts.

If you are really reluctant, then wait quietly and do nothing, because the more you do, the farther you will be wrong.

Originally, psychological counseling should not teach the client "what to do", but should "wait for him to make his own decision", which is a manifestation of responsibility for both parties. But the platform here is not a consultation room, but a comfort like sunshine psychology, so I want to tell you, it's better to give up, give yourself a quiet time, or go on a trip, go on a long trip, leave that person as far away as possible for a while, stand on the outside, observe the relationship between you, and ask yourself if it is worth it if you continue, and will you survive if you are wronged in the future? If you think clearly, you can make a choice.

Finally, I wish you well!