Does the mother in law and daughter in law have to be at odds, I am suffering a lot, not inside and

Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are born to complain about the family, in ancient China, there are three from the four virtues, filial piety is the first, the status of women is low, several generations are in the same house, the generation is in charge of the family's finances, the little daughter-in-law is not done well, the husband's family can divorce the wife at any time, and the wife wants to divorce the husband, that is not to think about it, the government will not support.

And modern women, with a high status and high economic independence, cannot hand over the money they earn to the elderly, and advocate equality between men and women, freedom of marriage, and wives can file for divorce at any time.

If the mother-in-law is strong, the daughter-in-law is also strong, and the husband is really painful to be caught in the middle, one side is the mother, the other is the wife, it is not good to favor either one, the preference is the daughter-in-law, the mother will say, I have raised you for decades in vain, and since I was a child, I have been a nanny for decades, and now when it is time to enjoy happiness, I will be your nanny, if I prefer the daughter-in-law, the daughter-in-law will say, we are divorced, you and your mother past, I can't get by.

Therefore, after the young couple gets married, it is best not to live with the elderly, you can buy a nearby apartment and live separately.

My mother-in-law is a bully, tell me the story of my transformation from an angry bun to a master. At first, I was weak, and everything depended on let, thinking that she would converge, but the weaker she was, the more she bullied. So I have principles, touching my bottom line of principles, as long as I am reasonable, I should take reason, I should quarrel, as long as you stand up, even if my mother-in-law invites her three aunts and six hospitals, I can't help you.

And then there is an important husband in the middle, he thinks that it is a quarrel, and he doesn't analyze whether his wife is wronged, because that's his mother, he doesn't dare to commit it, but I let him know that filial piety is also exquisite, not foolish, Confucius said that how to repay virtue by complaining with virtue is to complain directly. Adhere to the principle of being your own person, improve your own connotation, and be independent, now my mother-in-law does not dare to conflict with me, because I warned her: as long as you make trouble, I will divorce and let your son hate you and destroy his family.

So now it's all my husband dealing with the, and I don't care about anything.

Take a step back, she goes in and you retreat, and there is really no way to move out to live.

The discord between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is caused by the trivial things in life, which slowly accumulate and lead to quarrels. When arguing, it is best for both parties to calm down, and then communicate well after they have calmed down.

The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law may be a relatively bad relationship at present, mainly because of the large difference in thinking between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, mother-in-law is too self-controlled, daughter-in-law is too self-sufficient, does not give in to each other, and the original prejudices, etc., I think that the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can be understood from the following three aspects:

First of all, your in-laws are elders, and they are equivalent to your own parents, so you should respect your in-laws, and at the same time you should be humble, after all, your in-laws and your thinking are quite different, so it is normal to have some different opinions, as a junior, you should learn to take a step back;

Second, if there is a problem, we must understand the essence of the problem, if it is wrong, we should take the initiative to admit that it is wrong, if it is the mother-in-law, do not be unforgiving, after all, the people born in their era are very different from modern young people in terms of thinking and way of thinking, but one thing is certain, they also hope that the younger generation is good, although their words or ways are somewhat inappropriate, but we do not need to be judged;

Third, when it comes to this kind of situation, I think you should let your husband communicate with your mother-in-law, your husband is your mother-in-law's son, no matter what your husband says and does, your mother-in-law can tolerate and understand, but if you come forward, it is easy to cause your mother-in-law's unhappiness, because she will think that my son didn't say anything about me, you want to say it for life, so as a daughter-in-law, you must talk about ways and means, as a daughter-in-law, don't be too strong, care about your mother-in-law's affairs, try your best to do it, if you encounter a problem, try to let your husband come forward to communicate, This is the art of singing a red face and a white face!

1.This is a dutiful man, you can't say anything.

Bear with me, after all, are you an elder?

Yes, I don't think all sincerity is exchanged for sincerity, the problem between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is who has good mental quality, who pretends to be stupid, what doesn't matter, as long as you take care of your husband, don't pay attention to anything else, let him go, no matter what your mother-in-law says or does, you don't express your opinion, so that you won't get into trouble, this is my personal experience. But when it is time to be filial, we should still be filial, and we will not express our opinions on anything else.

How can you get along with prejudice, if you don't speak, I don't speak, and the reasons for the contradictions will accumulate.

For some families, the problem of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship is also inevitable. In fact, the family is a system, and the men in the family will definitely be influenced by the daughter-in-law Li Jingyu's wife and mother. However, in general, dealing with family problems is not a man's specialty.

Here are a few ways to deal with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, you might as well give it a try. 1

In the traditional Chinese family, it is basically "the male is the outside, the female is inside", and men do not take the handling of family relationships as their life goals, so when improving family relationships, men are prone to encounter all kinds of thorny problems, leading to the cause of mental illness.

2 Young couples in urban areas, who are mostly only children, are often self-centered, and lack frustration education for men makes it difficult and confusing for them to think about dealing with complex family relationships. And in this society, everyone has more or less pressure. If a person is too psychologically fragile and easily frustrated, it is natural that when the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is tense, it is easy to use negative methods such as avoidance and self-harm to solve it.

1.For the husband caught in the middle, the advice of psychologists is to be busy outside the home, which will help the career success, but it is more necessary to spend some time at home to lubricate the family relationship. With a good family relationship as a "logistical support", the career will develop more smoothly.

How do men coordinate the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law?

1. Learn to hide from both ends, don't pass it on at both ends.

As a man who can't speak, don't speak, especially on the occasion of family gatherings, don't be open-mouthed, the wife says that the mother-in-law is not good, the mother complains that the daughter-in-law is not filial, it is just from the nature of the woman to complain, listen to it and it will pass, if you take it seriously, if you pass it on both ends, or just say that it is pure blame, nothing to do.

2. Learn to speak well.

If you want to deal with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, you must be a careful man, you must prepare gifts for festivals or birthdays, don't think about greed, you must give it to the elders in the name of your wife, the old people are to be coaxed, if your wife is stingy, you have to be more generous for her.

3. Know how to trust.

The wife is your own choice, you have to trust her, the most important thing is to understand her, what happens to think about her temperament, a woman marries into a strange family alone, only you are her dependence, so do your best to protect her, the old man is inevitably stubborn when he is old, and the daughter-in-law is angry with the old man, so you don't want to be angry with her.

Fourth, the courage to take responsibility.

When something happens in your family, no matter whose fault it is, you have to come out and bear it as soon as possible, after all, blood is thicker than water, and the old man will not see you when he is angry, but once you shirk your responsibility, it must be your daughter-in-law who is unlucky, and there will be more complaints about a so-called outsider and an old man.

5. Understanding. The so-called filial piety comes first, the starting point is to worry more about the old man's manuscript, the wife must be coaxed, and as a daughter-in-law, she must also learn to understand the elderly, otherwise the old man will have worked hard all his life and has no reason to whisper to please you.