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The environment in the countryside is not as good as in the city, and talking to my mother-in-law is also for the sake of the children. Be nice to your mother-in-law. Buy her something to bribe her, respect her, in short, if you are good to her, she will be good to you. Just treat her as your own mother, for sure.
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It's very simple, please ask the nanny, if you can't afford it, bring it yourself, you can't bring it yourself, then there is no way, ask your mother-in-law to take it back.
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The easiest way to do it: stay away.
You can be lazy in front of your mother, you can have a small temper, you can have all kinds of bad habits, but you can't have it in front of your mother-in-law, if you behave like in front of your mother, you are likely not to be liked. You can only clearly distinguish who is the mother and who is the mother-in-law, in front of the mother-in-law you have to behave perfectly, and in front of the mother you can be yourself.
Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are both women, women have been together for a long time, especially they have a common bond - the husband is also a son, when the two parties live together, friction may occur, for example: the mother-in-law thinks that it is better to give her son hot food, and the daughter-in-law thinks that the conflict arises when the warm food is just eaten, if the daughter-in-law gives her son warm food, the mother-in-law will think that you are not considerate enough to his son; If the mother-in-law gives her son hot food, the daughter-in-law will think that it is not good for her health and will not let her son eat it in a hurry. There are a lot of problems like this, and the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law must not live in the same environment and grow up, and they know each other differently, although the two of them have a good starting point, but the small disagreement is also dynamite for a long time, so don't get too close to the mother-in-law.
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The first leakage, the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have different ideas and concepts, and the original family and the small family have become a competitive relationship.
The mother-in-law has lived with her son for more than 20 or even 30 years, and after her son gets married, she will unconsciously think that her daughter-in-law has robbed her son. This is especially true for single mothers-in-law, or mothers-in-law who were originally unsatisfactory in their marriage.
And the daughter-in-law will think that she is the mistress of the new family, and the husband's love should belong to her, and it is psychologically difficult to accept that the husband still belongs to the mother-in-law.
2 women compete for 1 man at the same time, over time, there are many contradictions, how can they live in harmony?
Second, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law lack empathy.
Some mothers-in-law complain about the high consumption of their daughters-in-law, and perhaps, the daughter-in-law is also working hard and running the family together. Some daughters-in-law are not used to eating the meals cooked by their mother-in-law, perhaps, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are people from different regions.
Dealing with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law requires being honest with each other, and speaking up is the best way to communicate.
In the decision of things, the mother-in-law tried not to interfere in the affairs of the small family, and lived separately from her son and daughter-in-law, so as to be less financially involved. The daughter-in-law respects her mother-in-law's habits for decades, which makes her mother-in-law feel that she has one more family member psychologically.
Mother-in-law, think about what I would do if my daughter-in-law were my daughter. How much should I think about my mother-in-law if she were my mother? Empathize with each other.
Thirdly, the role played by the common man.
How the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is handled depends on the emotional intelligence of this common man.
Some men are like throwing their hands in charge and evading responsibility.
Some men say to each other that their mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are not good, can they be good?
There are also men who have a high EQ! The new clothes I bought for my mother said that my wife bought them; The birthday gift for my wife was given by my mother-in-law, even if I bought it myself, I just told my mother that I was like a mother.
If the family members are attentive to maintaining the family relationship and hope that the relationship between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will develop in a good way, it is necessary to do the following 3 points:
1.Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law live independently.
2.Mutual understanding.
3.Give full play to the role of the common man.
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The problem of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has existed since ancient times, and it is a difficult problem to deal with, its existence, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law directly affects the relationship of the whole family, making the family become a miasma, making many families have headaches, not only the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are unhappy, but the other members of the family are also more uncomfortable in the middle.
The mother-in-law and daughter-in-law compete for the love of men, for the mother-in-law, the child she raised with hard work, with a partner, she will not be able to give up, and even think that the daughter-in-law will take her son away.
For a daughter-in-law, if she marries away from home, she is closest to her husband, and she will be very dependent on her husband, and her husband needs to listen to her.
Men and women are equal, feminist assertiveness is valued, and many people will abuse feminism. In the hearts of many mothers-in-law, they think that their daughter-in-law is married, and the daughter-in-law should listen to her own words, and the most prudent thing is to be a cow and a horse to serve herself.
As for the daughter-in-law, she has not suffered at home, so why should she suffer in her mother-in-law's house.
Concept generation gap: The difference in ideology leads to a poor relationship between the old and the young. In the eyes of her mother-in-law, Hannan understands her daughter-in-law's approach, and her daughter-in-law also has difficulty understanding her mother-in-law's thoughts.
There are many different ways of communicating and doing things in daily life, so the two of them don't like each other, and no one is convinced, and contradictions naturally appear.
Man's hesitation.
In many families, the attitude of the elders towards the daughter-in-law depends on the attitude of the son, if the son does not attach much importance to the woman, then as a mother-in-law, she naturally does not attach importance to the woman, and even thinks that the woman has climbed her son.
If the son cares about the woman very much, thinks about the woman in everything, and actively introduces him to his family, and listens to the woman's opinion in everything, then as a mother-in-law, she will naturally value her daughter-in-law.
In fact, if you want to solve the problem of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, women need to improve a lot, and they can avoid many contradictions.
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The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is the most difficult relationship between family members, if you want to maintain the harmony of family relations, you must deal with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, in which both parties will think that they are the weak party, but in fact, this problem can not be generalized, specifically to judge, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law must be analyzed from the three aspects of the family status of both parties, the right to speak in the families of both sides and how many supporters there are on both sides.
First, judging the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law needs to be analyzed from the family status of both parties. Judging who is stronger in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law needs to be analyzed from the respective status of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in the family, between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Relatively speaking, the party in a higher position is bound to occupy a stronger position in the relationship with each other, and the Lingshen is placed on the other side and becomes the side of Stanley Platinum, thus being in a weak position in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
Second, the right of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law to speak in the family determines the relationship between each other. The key factor that determines a person's status in the family is that the party with a higher right to speak will be more dominant in their interactions with each other, and the other party will become the weaker party, once the two sides have a contradiction, the weak party will be more harmed, in real life, the mother-in-law has a higher right to speak, so most daughters-in-law will be in a relatively weak position, but there are also some daughters-in-law who are very strong, so that the mother-in-law is in a weak position.
Third, the number of supporters of each mother-in-law and daughter-in-law ultimately determines the status of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Between family members, although the overall relationship is close, but there will also exist between each other for various reasons, differences in support, relatively speaking, the party who can get more support will be more dominant, when there is a conflict between two people, it will be more powerful, and the other party will, because of support, morning, and become a thin existence. When there is a conflict, it is easier to be hurt, and as for the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, there is no fixed answer to who will be the weaker party?
It all depends on the individual's specific situation.
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Try to judge the elderly well. If you don't sympathize with Dari, okay? When his heart was in good shape, he discussed and chatted. Talk more like you and your husband. If you really can't get along, then you can live separately and not under the same roof.
The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has always been one of the main sources of family problems, after all, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law definitely don't get along as closely as the kind of biological mother and her daughter. After all, both of them are foreigners who marry into the same family, one serves his father-in-law, one marries his husband, and the other is a daughter-in-law who marries in as a mother-in-law. Some life habits, words and deeds, as well as work and rest rules, as well as differences in food culture, will be different, if there is no way to run in for a while, or some small things in life will cause quarrels, disputes This is the main contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. >>>More
At that time, you had to take the initiative to explain to your mother-in-law that the moon mother-in-law can't blow the fan, and in the end it is you who will end up with the root of the disease, and if you are often in poor health, your husband will also dislike you. I'm in a worse situation than you, because my husband and I are working in Guangzhou, and I'm going to have a baby, I'm afraid that I will be wronged, I proposed to come to my sister's house in advance for confinement, my sister works in the hospital, I gave birth for half a month, and his parents came to see the child, and I brought a few apples when I came to see it. I haven't been back for three years, and once I went back to his house, I didn't have anything for the child, and his parents only had their son in their hearts. >>>More
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1.Eliminate estrangement in the bud.
The communication between superiors and subordinates is psychologically compatible. There is a psychological distance between each other, the inner world is unbalanced, and the grudge is deepening, which will lead to big contradictions. It is not difficult to nip the estrangement in the bud, and here's how: >>>More
Personally, I think this is a more personal question, as everyone's situation and perception may be different. But here are some factors to consider: It is very important to establish a good relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in the first place, as it has an important impact on the stability of the marriage and the harmony of the family. >>>More