The child worker is led by the elderly of one party, whether the child is considered to take care of

1。"Old experience" inhibits children's curiosity.

However, while thanking the elderly for helping to take care of their children, there are also many young couples who see the drawbacks. Young couples generally report that the elderly with children like to follow the old experience, and often say "don't mess around these things are dangerous" and "don't run around" ......Suppress children's curiosity and exploration.

2.Spoiling a child makes the child arrogant and willful.

Many elderly people are more doting on their children, feeding their children, helping them dress, combing their hair, collecting toys, carrying schoolbags, etc., so that children are pampered and dependent from an early age, and when they get to kindergarten, they will not know anything. Ms. Wen, a young mother, was quite distressed about this.

3.When a child makes a mistake, he asks the old man for "cover".

Parents are becoming less and less dignified in front of their children, every time the child cries for something unpleasant, and the parents want to correct it, when they are reasonable, the grandmother immediately hugs it and coaxes it. The elderly are easy to protect the children when the parents criticize the children, form different behavioral norms in the eyes of the children, and easily make the children form a "two-faced" style, resulting in the formation of bad characters, which is also the reason why children are more often naughty and willful in front of the elderly.

4.The elderly are always worried, such as not daring to take the baby out in the sun in winter, etc., etc., in fact, these are not conducive to the growth and health of the baby, but the old people still refuse to take them out after weighing their pros and cons.

5. Alienate the relationship between parents and children. I think this is one of the most important aspects of the disadvantages of the elderly with children. Some studies say that skin-to-skin kinship when children are young is very important to establish a mother-child relationship, and children who are cared for by the elderly for a long time are prone to emotional loss.

Because it is an emotional problem, the external manifestations are not very obvious and are often overlooked. Many people use their own personal experience to explain that due to the long-term separation from the care of their parents, their feelings for their parents are very weak, and even when they grow up, they are relatively indifferent to their relatives, and some people even say that their feelings for their relatives are not as good as good friends.

6. Some elderly people have a low level of education, outdated concepts, and attach too much importance to the power of their own experience in the process of raising children, and do not know how to adopt scientific parenting methods. Most of today's elderly people are still willing to accept new ideas, but due to some conditions, they do not have the opportunity to learn and change.

7. The elderly are not in good health and are unable to take care of the children, the elderly themselves are unwilling to take care of the children, adopt some inappropriate behaviors or vent some bad emotions to the children, or the elderly have deficiencies in personality.

You can think about it this way, but you have to take care of the anxious and big side first.

There are many factors to consider who will bring it:

1. Physical condition:

Raising children is a heavy physical task, and it is difficult to do it without a healthy and strong body.

2. Distance: There are usually two specific ways to let the elderly help take care of the children: one is to send the children to the elderly's home; The second is to let the elderly come to their homes.

In either case, separation and rush are inevitable, so the closer the distance, the easier it is.

3. Daily life habits:

When the elderly come to help with the children, three generations have to live under the same roof. Therefore, the closer the daily habits, the less conflicts there will be with each other, and the more harmonious the relationship will be, which is more conducive to the growth of children.

4. Is it easy to communicate?

Not to mention the possible differences between the two generations in terms of parenting concepts, but there may be many disharmony and inconsistencies in life.

When a conflict occurs, the easier it is to communicate, the easier it is to resolve the conflict and win harmony.

Finally, no matter who we let take it, we should pay attention to the following issues.

1. Do a good job of communication

Let the elders on both sides understand that your final decision is a trade-off based on realistic conditions, rather than favoring one over the other, so that they can both be content with their situation and not feel that they are left out, no longer needed, and worthless.

No matter who comes to help, it is difficult to avoid conflicts. When a conflict occurs, we should also take the initiative to communicate in a timely manner, actively resolve the conflict, and reach a settlement as soon as possible.

2. Correct your position and mentality, and take the initiative to take responsibility for parenting

Whoever comes to help, we all need to remember that we are the first person responsible for childcare, and we must make as much time as possible to spend with our children, raise and educate them, and not leave childcare entirely to the elderly.

I amStroll along the parenting road

Raising children is physical work and is hard. Considering the physical condition, physical strength and energy of the elderly on both sides, at present, my family adopts the elderly on both sides to take turns to take care of the children. In this way, the elderly on both sides can take turns to rest, and they can also take turns to be with their children and enjoy the joy of family.

Because the elderly on both sides like children, so that they can take care of it, if there is something at home and the elderly need to leave for a while, the other party can also take over the children.

The elderly have their own advantages with children, they are often more careful, especially in the children's eating and drinking, which is more attentive than our young parents.

Polishing the star, a mother, love life, love travel, love learning. We are willing to polish the stars and grow together with you!

It doesn't matter if it's your mother's family or your mother-in-law's family! The key is which one can guide and educate children more correctly!

If the older generation is patriarchal, the boy will let the in-laws take it, and the girls will let the mother-in-law take it. Avoid being spoiled by men.

According to the traditional "marriage of men and women" in China, the current common practice is that children follow their husband's surname.

Judging by the facts of inheritance in today's society:

Grandchildren can inherit the estate of their grandparents on their behalf, and grandchildren are almost deprived of their grandparents' inheritance rights.

There are unforeseen circumstances in the sky, and people have good and bad luck." Considering the occurrence of unexpected circumstances, grandparents and grandchildren are in a family relationship, and maternal grandparents and grandchildren are related.

Based on the above reasons, I believe that it is better to consider the child's surname and make a decision.

The above is my personal opinion, you decide the specific situation, and others have no right to interfere.

"The baby is born, who will take the baby" has always been a most controversial topic, if it is a full-time mother, it is okay, although it is harder to bring it yourself, but you are more at ease with it, and the child is closer to yourself. But if it is a couple who both need to go to work, at this time the old man needs to take a hand to help the young couple.

As for whether they will choose the child's grandmother or the child's grandmother to take the child, netizens gave this opinion:

Bao Ma A: During pregnancy, the in-laws don't care, and the girl doesn't care, but fortunately, the parents are in pain, and they are happy to be happy in their parents' house, and her husband is working in other places. During the confinement, the mother-in-law made all kinds of tricks, and on the third day, she began to bring her own day and night, and she didn't stutter at night, and she went back to her parents' house after the confinement.

Bao Ma B: Eighty percent of my surroundings are brought by my mother's family, after all, my mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are difficult to get along with, and I myself refuse to bring my mother-in-law's family, and my mother-in-law doesn't even mean it.

Bao Ma C: Isn't there a popular saying now: children are born by mothers, raised by grandmothers, and appreciated by grandparents.

Bao Ma D: Bring it yourself, my in-laws haven't given me a penny or bought a penny of things, but we don't care. I raise my own children and don't count on my in-laws.

No, assuming that the husband is disabled and the woman wants custody, the court will give preference to the woman.

No, on the contrary, the court finds that you are incapable of taking care of the child from the other party to the other party to admit.

The principle of raising children is conducive to the growth of children. Under 2 years old with the mother, if it is over 2 years old, according to what you said that his family conditions are better than yours, it is recommended that you start from the aspect that the child has been led by you and your mother, and the child has a relationship with the child, which is more conducive to the growth of the child. If the child is over 10 years old, he or she can choose for himself, and the court will generally respect it.

When making a judgment on the custody of the child, the court will judge according to the economic conditions and personal conduct of both parties, and which party is more beneficial to the child will be awarded to which party first; It's not just about the economic conditions of either side.

In addition, if you and your mother take care of the children for a long time, the court will also give you a priority.

It is enough to go to court and state the truth.

Lawyer answers:

There is a principle for fighting for custody, that is, who is more conducive to the growth of the child, and cite the conditions that are conducive to the growth of the child, such as a good job, such as a high income, for example, other personal conditions are good, and the other party is just not good, etc.

Hello. How old is the child? Children under the age of two usually live with their mothers.

The ownership of custody is not only based on the economic conditions, but also considers which parent is more conducive to the growth of the child.

The court respects the wishes of the child and generally awards to the party with high financial income that is conducive to the child's development. Although the man has a high income, he does not necessarily have time to take care of the children; Although you don't have a job, but your mother's family has financial strength, or the elderly are willing to help take care of the children, pick up and drop off the children to kindergarten, school, etc., this is also a kind of family affection, which is beneficial to you; In addition, the parent who does not have custody also has to pay the child's living expenses every month.

Since we are in court, let's first talk about it from the public, it is beneficial to the child, it is nothing more than the economic situation. Then is the environment provided, the economic situation directly affects the growth environment, for the future of the child, the court will definitely examine the strength of both of you from here, from private, the child's will can also affect the judgment, after all, the court of human relations is also to talk about, in view of the time that the child and you spend a lot of time, your economic strength is not unreasonable, I personally feel that the court from these two points, you can account for 65% Because you did not provide the other party's economic strength and the growth environment that can be provided for the child.

According to the Marriage Law and the judicial interpretations of the Marriage Law, the court generally follows the following principles when hearing the issue of the ownership of child custody in the event of divorce:

1. Both parties voluntarily and equally negotiate the ownership of child custody.

Children under the age of the age of the child are in principle to live with their mother;

Children over the age of one should seek the child's opinion on who to live with.

4. If it is unlikely that one party will remarry after divorce, or if it is too old to have children, the custody of the child will generally be given priority to that party.

5. Those who have vices such as domestic violence, gambling, and drug abuse will generally not consider the custody of the child to belong to the party.

6. In other cases, the ownership of child custody shall be determined according to the principle that the husband and wife who raise the child is beneficial to the healthy growth of the child.

7. What is advantageous? The following factors are mainly considered: a. economic conditions; b. Whether there is domestic violence; c. Whether there is love and patience for children; d. Whether it is beneficial to children's reading and education; e. The depth of the relationship with the child.

Financial ability and time on which side more decide. Financial ability is not the woman's own financial ability, it is the whole family. Even if the woman does not go to work, saying that her parents have money to support, and her parents are also capable, this is the advantageous party, after all, the woman does not go to work with the child, in your opinion, the woman is a lazy and disobedient worker, and does not fulfill family obligations.

However, from a legal point of view, the fact that the child can always be accompanied by the woman is the most beneficial evidence for the child, and the woman's parents also provide financial support, so the man is basically a complete failure in having a child. No way! As long as the woman says that I don't go to work in order to better take care of the children, you can't have children, so you can only use other ways.

But almost slim. However, if the child is old and has the ability to discern who to follow, he can influence the judgment, and if the child is young, there is no way.

living environment, family conditions, and emotional ......

All are considered "favorable conditions".

You can look up the law, but you will generally ask your child for advice, how old is your child.

The court should award to the party with a good background and a stable income, for the sake of the healthy growth of the child, most people will feel that this environment is conducive to the growth of the child.

Article 36 of the Marriage Law The relationship between parents and children shall not be extinguished by the divorce of the parents. After divorce, the children are still the starving children of both parents, regardless of whether they are raised directly by the father or mother.

After divorce, parents still have the right and obligation to raise and educate their children.

After divorce, the child who is breastfeeding shall be raised with the nursing mother. If the two parties cannot reach an agreement due to a dispute over the custody of a child after breastfeeding, the people's court shall make a judgment based on the rights and interests of the child and the specific circumstances of both parties.

Article 37: After a divorce, the other party shall bear part or all of the necessary living expenses and education expenses for the children raised by one party, and the amount of the expenses and the length of the period shall be agreed upon by both parties; If the agreement is not reached, the people's court shall make a judgment.

An agreement or judgement concerning the maintenance and education of the child shall not prevent the child from making a reasonable demand to either parent, if necessary, in excess of the amount originally agreed upon in the agreement or judgment.

Article 38: After divorce, the parent who does not directly raise the children has the right to visit the children, and the other party has the obligation to assist.

The method and time for exercising visitation rights are to be agreed upon by the parties; If the agreement is not reached, the people's court shall make a judgment.

Where a parent's visit to a child is detrimental to the child's physical and psychological health, the people's court is to suspend the right to visit in accordance with law; When the reason for the suspension disappears, the right to visit shall be restored.

Article 39: At the time of divorce, the joint property of the husband and wife shall be disposed of by agreement between the two parties; If the agreement is not reached, the people's court shall make a judgment based on the specific circumstances of the property and the principle of taking care of the rights and interests of the children and the woman.

If both the father and the mother request to live with them, according to Articles 3 and 4 of the above-mentioned Opinions of the Supreme People's Court, if one party has any of the following circumstances, priority may be given to them:

Where the child has lived with the child for a long time, and changing the living environment is obviously detrimental to the healthy growth of the woman;

If there are no other children, and the other parent has other children;

It is not appropriate for the other party to live with the child because it is beneficial to the child's growth, but the other party suffers from an infectious disease or other serious illness that cannot be cured for a long time, or has other circumstances that are not conducive to the child's physical and mental health.

The conditions for the maintenance of the child by the father and the mother are basically the same, and both parties require the child to live with the child, but if the child has lived alone with the grandparent for many years, and the grandparent requests and is able to help the child take care of the grandchild, it may be considered as a priority condition for the child to live with the father or mother.

If the child is a minor who has reached the age of 10 and there is a dispute between the parents that the daughter should live with the father or the mother, the child's opinion shall be taken into account in accordance with the provisions of Article 5 of the above-mentioned Opinions.

In addition, article 6 provides that it may be permissible for both parents to agree to take turns raising the child on the premise that it is conducive to the protection of the child's interests.

Ascend rotten and enter early. I asked in detail.