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First of all, the physical health of the girlfriend, such as whether there is a genetic disease and whether there is a history of miscarriage; secondly, the girlfriend's debt situation; Third, the girlfriend's character and the relationship and quality of family members.
First of all, the physical health of the girlfriend, such as whether there is a genetic disease and whether there is a history of miscarriage; secondly, the girlfriend's debt situation; Third, the girlfriend's character and the relationship and quality of family members. First of all, the physical health of the girlfriend, such as whether there is a genetic disease and whether there is a history of miscarriage; secondly, the girlfriend's debt situation; Third, the girlfriend's character and the relationship and quality of family members. First of all, the physical health of the girlfriend, such as whether there is a genetic disease and whether there is a history of miscarriage; secondly, the girlfriend's debt situation; Third, the girlfriend's character and the relationship and quality of family members.
First of all, the physical health of the girlfriend, such as whether there is a genetic disease and whether there is a history of miscarriage; secondly, the girlfriend's debt situation; Third, the girlfriend's character and the relationship and quality of family members. First of all, the physical health of the girlfriend, such as whether there is a genetic disease and whether there is a history of miscarriage; secondly, the girlfriend's debt situation; Third, the girlfriend's character and the relationship and quality of family members.
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It's been more than half a year, but I often feel angry when I recall it. At that time, my ex and I had been together for nearly three years, and we had naturally come to the stage of getting married, so a series of things followed.
A brief introduction to the landlord works in a private company, in a third-tier city, with a monthly salary of about 7k, boyfriend, the boyfriend at the time had a monthly salary of 3k, at that time his parents gave him a down payment to buy a house, and repaid the loan 2500 per month, except for the loan repayment, he basically has nothing left, so I became the ** of all his economy. All his usual expenses, his clothes, mobile phones, and driver's license tests were all the money I gave him. By the way, he only had 2w in his hand when he was decorating, and his father said at the time that he had no money to decorate him anymore, so let him figure it out by himself, adding that his family was a family formed later, his mother died when he was 13 years old, and his father found a stepmother again, and the stepmother brought a younger brother who was 8 years younger than him.
Later, I couldn't bear to see him worry about the renovation, so I took out all my savings to help him decorate, and we had just been together for more than a year at that time, and we didn't talk about getting married. At that time, many colleagues and friends said that I was stupid, and I started to build money before I could do much, but I thought that it was a boyfriend and girlfriend anyway, and I would help him if he didn't have money, and I didn't think about it so much. Later, in addition to the household appliances, I didn't buy them, and they were basically decorated, and at this time I basically didn't have any savings, so my boyfriend said that his parents would buy the rest of the household appliances, and I didn't need to buy them anymore.
I was quite happy at the time, thinking that I could save some money for when we got married. Who knew that later his father said that he would give us 2w yuan when he got married, I said that it didn't seem to be enough, and his father said confidently that I didn't know enough, not enough for your mother to fill in, this is the original words. I said that I had filled in 3w before, the landlord has a younger brother at home, and he is about to get married, and there is not so much money in the family, and I took it is not equivalent to my mother taking it, at this time his father actually said that the girl who married out spilled the water, you are the daughter-in-law of our family, your money is our family's money, what does it have to do with your mother, I was stunned when I heard this!!
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From the following aspects: one is to know whether your girlfriend's character is good or not, whether it is for money, the second is to find out whether your girlfriend is the only one who loves you, the third is to know whether your girlfriend and your career, goals and interests are the same, and the fourth is to know whether your girlfriend and your three views are the same! In short, the most important thing is character, and then temper and character.
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Since you can like each other, it means that there is a foundation of love between you, and it is a mutual pleasure. Therefore, the focus should be on the boy's personality and self-motivation, and the main factor that determines whether the happiness of living together in the future can be sustained.
I think that the first thing to look at is the character of the boy, and the woman has performed well in this area and has been recognized as the best. If it is a slightly unsatisfactory place, but it is not directly related to your marriage, it is only a matter of personal interest.
That's also normal. There is complementarity between husband and wife, and they do not strive for perfection, but they hope that it is the right choice. After all, together, if you don't know too much, the relationship will really break up in the future. After getting married, all kinds of problems will surface.
It can be a long-term trip together, if you and your girlfriend don't even have a good personality, there is no need for you to be with her, and after getting married, you will quarrel and have conflicts due to various things, so personality is very important.
At least half a month or more. It is also possible to share a house together for a period of time. Be sure to understand each other's habits in advance.
You also need to know the other party's living habits, according to the situation you are currently in, everything is ready, only the east wind is owed. These have long been in view, but they are just a repetition for you.
If you are a person who loves cleanliness, it is best not to look for someone who does not love cleanliness, otherwise the two of you will often quarrel over household hygiene. So why do I say I need to be clear about these two things? Seeing that you have done something for your ex-girlfriend, jealousy, unhappiness, envy, etc., she can tell you directly about her own feelings and thoughts at that time, instead of looking for something to vent her emotions at other times - many men are unable to understand the logic, only marriage should be a process of mutual trust and mutual support, life is very short and long.
If there is no trust, the bad ones are full of thorns. It will feel inexplicable. Because these two things are closely related to their own lives, they are the key factors related to whether they can be happy or not.
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You should be clear about the following aspects of your girlfriend.
1. Character. In any case, what I emphasize the most is always character. Bad character, other don't need to talk about it.
Life has been up and down for decades, and it is difficult to say that it is rich and prosperous. If she's not of good character, it's like putting a knife next to your pillow. When you are rich, you are swept away from your back. When you are down, you refuse to lend a hand. Husbands and wives are worse than friends, how sad is that.
2. Character. Don't nag.
Diligence and thrift may not be liked by everyone, but nagging I think is one of the most easily ignored and far-reaching factors.
A thrifty, virtuous and virtuous woman generally has her own set of housework, and she has her own strong rules for placing objects. If you don't follow the rules she sets or live your life (let you fold your clothes and don't, let you hang your towel in this hook and you hang it in that hook), then you will trigger endless nagging.
People who encounter problems and want to solve them.
During the festival, a group of adults are doing homework, and a group of children are playing. While playing, an elder noticed that a child was missing. Everyone was in a mess and was in a hurry to go out and find it.
So the elders began to ask, "Didn't you let you watch, why did it disappear?" Who watched him just now?
Why is it that such a big person doesn't even look at a child, and there are a lot of useless Bilibili bars." In the end, the second aunt, who slipped away quietly, found the child.
People who are accountable first when they encounter problems instead of solving them are really not suitable for life.
3. Values.
It's nothing more than the same life philosophy, family relationship, and future planning of the two. If these are consistent, a breakup is really a very unlikely thing.
4. She appreciates you and likes you.
I think the glue between two people is the appreciation of each other, and because of appreciation, I hope to possess it, and I will not give up easily. Because of appreciation, liking is more grounded, so it lasts longer.
5. As for academic qualifications, family background, ability, appearance, and economic conditions, it is up to everyone.
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<> first and foremost, the two people still have to be compatible, and when they are in love, the man often doesn't care about some of the woman's shortcomings. After getting married, it is often a lifelong thing, and if you don't get along, you will become the laughing stock of others.
Has the woman ever had a boyfriend? If anything, I have to think twice, and I'm sure even a man would care about it. It's better not to have a boyfriend, after all, marriage is a lifelong thing.
Some girls have a spicy and arrogant personality, even if they are unreasonable, the key is that even the man's parents are not respected. It may be that pampering has become a habit, and it is always like this, more or less after getting married, quarrels are indispensable.
Let's see that a man has a bachelor's degree, it's impossible to find a little girl who has just graduated from junior high school, right? First of all, a one's own concept is not the same, there is no question of worthiness or not, the key is that there are too many gaps in ideology and concepts, and it is often incompatible with reality.
If you knew that the woman had a hereditary disease, would you still choose to stay with her? Many people may criticize me for being cruel, but this is the reality of life. Even if the man himself agrees, his parents will not agree. True love is often vulnerable in the face of reality!
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First of all, a boy should know what aspects of the woman's girl can get married, first of all, let's say that before getting married, the first thing we have to consider is the woman's family conditions and family structure, if there is a very important issue, the woman's family, including the woman, she herself is a Voldemort, that is, she has a younger brother, then this is a factor that must be taken into account, because such a family environment is likely to make life after marriage become poor, Because the woman has to keep giving money to his younger brother and letting his younger brother live, which is very wrong, and secondly, it is necessary to look at the true attitude of the woman's parents towards this relationship, because some parents may just give their own. Daughters are seen as a tool of trade, or they are selling their daughters, not that they want their daughters to live a happy life.
After understanding the woman's family structure, it is also necessary to understand the woman's own personal character and character, for example, whether she is a greedy and vain person, this is not very much, mainly whether one of his characters is qualified, some people have problems with his thoughts or three views, this kind of problem can be seen from many social software or the comment area of the ** function. Some people they don't have love for others, they treat themselves very well, they are delicate egoists, this kind of thing needs to be avoided, and the second most important point, I think one of the most important prerequisites for a man and a woman to get married is to have a marriage examination, you have to make sure that the woman does not have any physical problems, because if he has some hereditary diseases, or he has some experiences that he has not told you, such as ** Or if it's damage to the uterus or something that affects having children in the future, I think you have to take this condition into account, because once you finally get old enough to have children, then you can decide whether you will choose to stay together, or what you can decide now. In fact, the man should pay attention to the woman's own private life, whether he often goes to nightclubs and the like, whether he likes to go out to play, or whether he is a serious person, not that going to bars and nightclubs is not right, it can only be said that he is not so serious compared to those who usually don't go, but it is also possible that the work pressure is high, causing him to want to relax himself, these are all controllable, or understandable, The most important thing is to have a good communication mechanism between you, so if he is the kind of person who ignores you when you encounter something, I don't think he is sincere to you, and I don't think it is possible to get married.
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Since it is a matter of two families, it is necessary to have a deeper understanding of love.
1.Whether the three views are consistent and whether they are the right person.
The so-called matchmaking here does not mean whether the economic conditions of the two families are the same. Or it's not just about money. Instead, it is necessary to combine the educational background, the growth environment provided by the family, etc., to see whether the two people can achieve the "right match".
The direct impact of the right door is whether the three views are consistent.
Now that they have come to the point of considering marriage, the two must have a certain understanding. And in the process, there will be no contradictions that are too unsolvable. Contemporary young people's views on marriage and love are still relatively mature, and whether the three views are consistent is the foundation, and it is also the part that everyone will think of.
2.Whether the future plan can be agreed.
Whose house to go to for the New Year.
At present, the young group facing marriage is basically the only child generation, so they are faced with the situation of two people with four elderly people. In this case, who to go back to during the Chinese New Year often becomes a very serious problem, and quarrels between two people often occur. In fact, there are many solutions, but everyone has not discussed them before marriage, and after marriage, they all want to go back to their own homes and take it for granted.
In such a situation, it is naturally easy to contradict each other.
How money is distributed.
Who is in charge of the money, how to distribute the household, AA system or other methods, whether someone needs to stay at home full-time, etc., money issues are often the top priority of marriage. Many people want to separate feelings from money, but in fact they are completely inseparable. Instead of blindly avoiding and waiting until the problem occurs to solve it, it is better to discuss it in advance to avoid conflicts.
What to do with relatives coming and going.
It is necessary to know the kinship of the other family, and each place and family have different ways of dealing with kinship. Some families are very close to the whole family, and some people only care about their own small lives. The issue of relatives is often a key headache during the New Year's holidays.
Kid Questions. Whether to have children, when to have children, how many to have, how to educate children after giving birth, who needs to take care of them, etc., the question of children must also be considered clearly before marriage. If you get married in Chaos, only to find out that two people have different attitudes towards their children after marriage, this will be a very fatal problem.
Because there are more and more young people who do not want children, if they cannot reach an agreement on the issue of childbearing, it may directly lead to divorce.
3.The mode of getting along with the family of origin.
If you want to understand a person's fundamental character, the most important thing is to understand the way the other person gets along with the family of origin. Although most people have left their families of origin by adulthood, the impact of their families of origin is far-reaching and cannot be changed. In contemporary society, there are many people who have various mental illnesses due to the problems of the original family, which shows how far-reaching the original family can have on a person.
If you decide to get married, then you should discuss such issues with the other party as much as possible before marriage, so as to avoid many unnecessary troubles after marriage.
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