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I understand your frustration and frustration. If it's a simple problem between you and your in-laws, just draw a clear line. What's yours is yours, and theirs is theirs.
This question seems to be a problem between you and your in-laws, but in fact, it is a problem between you, your husband and your in-laws. The husband should play a key role in this. Generally, the in-laws realize their selfishness by controlling their sons.
And their son has been used to being controlled since he was a child, very obedient, and very "filial".
Therefore, you have to express your feelings and your needs to your husband. Then, it is best to deal with them with your husband, and it is best to separate from each other, and even if you can't do it, you must have boundaries in your belongings and life. You have to tell your husband that there are two separations in a person's life, the first is birth, the separation from the mother, which makes us independent people, and the second is marriage, which makes us have an independent family.
The significance of the second separation and the first separation are equally important. If separation is incomplete, there will be no happiness.
Of course, it is not that they are not filial to the elderly. When it is time to be filial, it is still necessary to be filial.
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To be more selfish than her, more powerful than her, it's best to be angry with her--
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How to say it, I can't talk about coping, anyway, it's good to do a good job of myself, and it's good to think about them on festivals or something. So that you think about your husband, his father, and mother, so that your husband gets better and better.
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As follows:
1.In fact, you don't have to deliberately please your mother-in-law. If there is anything you want to say clearly, you can always tell right from wrong, but don't quarrel and communicate well.
2.If there is a conflict between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, it is useless to argue, and there is no suitable solution. That's when you can divert your attention and forget about it.
3.In fact, no matter how good the daughter-in-law is, the mother-in-law will also have opinions, don't disturb your mood because of these things, and don't go out to tell others, just feel that it is a good match.
4.If you don't get along well with your mother-in-law, you can choose to live separately, so that you will have some freedom and your own space.
5.Don't be too accommodating to your mother-in-law, but don't be too impulsive either. If something happens, be sure to grasp the psychology of the other person, see what the other person likes, take the initiative, and establish an intimate relationship with the other person.
6.If you don't get along well with your selfish mother-in-law, you can see each other less and reduce the occurrence of some positive conflicts.
7.Sometimes, you need to let the other person know your bottom line. If your mother-in-law is often selfish, you can also take the opportunity to make her angry.
8.If there is a family conflict, you must stand on your mother-in-law's side and let the family know that your heart is still towards your mother-in-law.
9.If your mother-in-law always likes to pick thorns in life, she will fight back when appropriate, but then she will take the initiative to communicate with the other party and exchange enthusiasm with her heart.
10.When you get along with your mother-in-law, you must talk less and do more. You can establish a common hobby between two people, take the initiative to help your mother-in-law, and let the other party feel your sincerity.
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Introduction: I believe that many women will encounter this kind of problem in marriage, in-laws will be very selfish, in the face of selfish in-laws, in fact, many times can not blindly tolerate, if you have been tolerated, it is possible to lose yourself in marriage, and may form a terrible vicious circle, resulting in a very distorted family environment. Many daughters-in-law will feel that their in-laws want to take care of everything, but their in-laws think that their daughter-in-law doesn't do anything, and in the eyes of the mother-in-law, the daughter-in-law is always an outsider, and in the eyes of the daughter-in-law, the in-laws are always very selfish.
And for the daughter-in-law, if you meet a strong and selfish in-law at the beginning, it is easy to let yourself be wronged, and you must know that you should not blindly give in in the marriage relationship, so you may have a hard time in the future.
Keep your bottom line.
For selfish in-laws, you must keep your bottom line when getting along with them, and don't take it too seriously, you must know that your in-laws are not your parents after all, and they are not related by blood, so you can't lose your temper with your in-laws, but you can't be blindly cowardly, you must have your own position, otherwise you will be easily bullied by your in-laws.
Avoid living together.
After getting married, you must avoid living with your selfish in-laws, you can see what kind of people your in-laws are before you get married, if you are kind, you can be kind to your in-laws, if you are more selfish, as long as you can get along with your face, if some in-laws have a bad temper, then you should not blindly tolerate them, and you must show your own principles. Otherwise, it is easy for your in-laws to feel that they should hurt you unscrupulously.
In the end, if the relationship between husband and wife is not handled well, it is very easy to make a family have a lot of life friction, so in this case, it is also necessary to let the husband adjust, but also to empathize and maintain a tolerant heart.
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If you really meet your selfish in-laws, it's really a headache. In the face of this situation, sometimes it is better to endure it, after all, they are elders, and they can't do something disrespectful to their elders. <>
1. How to deal with selfish in-laws?
The in-laws relationship is very important because it affects not only the individual, but also the whole family. Therefore, learn to deal with selfish in-laws skillfully. First of all,You must show your filial side, treat your parents-in-law as your elders, and pretend to be very serious about what they say.
No matter what they say, don't get into a confrontation with them in person. You can communicate with your husband in the back, but don't let the conflict increase. Also, if you have a conflict with your parents-in-law, don't quarrel with them.
After all, they are elders, and you can choose to communicate well with them. If you can't communicate, you can avoid it first. This situation can also divert attention and forget about this kind of thing.
You also have to learn to please your in-laws appropriately, see what they like, you can buy what they like and give them to build a sense of intimacy. In this way, they will not be very resistant to you, and they may love you even more. If your parents-in-law are always picky, you should also learn to fight back appropriately, but after being grateful, you should take the initiative to communicate with them, and use your sincerity to exchange the other party's enthusiasm.
Also, if your in-laws are really selfish and you don't know what to do, you can choose to live separately from them. When you are with your parents-in-law, you must remember one principle, which is to talk less and do more. In this way, you will have a better impression on them, be diligent and don't be lazy.
TipSometimes it's really a headache to meet selfish in-laws, but no matter what, they are all elders. There should be filial piety, and there should be respect. If you don't contradict them and argue with them about something, I'm sure your parents-in-law won't always pick on your thorns.
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Tell your parents-in-law tactfully that their behavior has caused you a lot of harm and made you feel very insecure, and you can't integrate into your family, and you have to do your own thing and don't give them a chance; You don't need to blindly tolerate it, and blindly forbearance will only make them feel that you are more likely to bully.
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When encountering such a situation, don't blindly tolerate it, you must communicate with your husband, and then you should also let your husband face you, but don't do it against your in-laws, you can communicate with your in-laws, tell your in-laws your thoughts, and get along with them well.
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No, you must make yourself stronger, you must draw a line, don't blindly be bullied by the other party, and try not to live in one home for a long time.
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I think that, as long as you are sincere, there are no such problems as you said.
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It's very simple, 1, it is to achieve the result she wants, but it is up to you to do this.
2. The surface is perfunctory, pretending to be very obedient, and following his wishes, but if you do it, you can still implement it according to your own judgment.
After all, she is your husband's mother, no matter how selfish she is for her husband, at least she has to do it on the surface, otherwise her husband is not very difficult to do, and older people are easy to drill into a dead end, and if you don't do it well, it will make things difficult for you all day long, and make the house smoky, so you can perfunctory her, and you can actually handle it yourself.
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In the face of selfish and lazy in-laws, on the one hand, don't let yourself go too far into your heart, you may stay away from them, keep a safe distance, and on the other hand, you must do your duty as a younger generation.
1. Try not to take their selfish actions to heart
Selfish in-laws, no matter what kind of selfish actions they make, don't take them too seriously, they are such people, even if they speak a little ugly, it's okay, love whoever they love, but if their selfish behavior has affected the life of your small family, then you must express your stance when you should express it, and you must be ruthless and resolute.
2. Stay away from them, try to stay away from the central area that may create contradictions
If you don't stay together all year round, you can actually reduce a lot of contradictions, because if you are very selfish in-laws, maybe you live under the same roof with them, and the contradictions will surge, so staying away is also the best choice.
3. Don't live under the same roof and keep the best safe distance
In addition to living under the same roof, it is not very convenient for each other, in fact, sometimes the behavior of young people will make the old people unaccustomed, and if the in-laws are really selfish, conflicts must be indispensable, so it is better to keep the safest distance between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
Fourth, don't stop polite greetings, and the younger generations should fulfill their obligations
But even if the in-laws themselves are selfish, the younger generations should still respect the elderly, and their obligations must not be less, and they cannot completely ignore the in-laws because the in-laws do not like them, and polite greetings should definitely be had.
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The most difficult relationship in society is nothing more than the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. The mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are suspicious, their personalities are incompatible, there are often conflicts, the family is very difficult, or the relationship between the daughter-in-law and the father-in-law is not handled well, and many other problems. will lead to an awkward relationship at home.
And your parents-in-law are also more selfish, then you can use the following ways to solve it.
First, if your parents-in-law are more selfish, then you must first deal with the relationship between you and them, because only when you and their relationship is handled well, you will have more say in them. You can have more positions and higher status to say something to them, and if the relationship between you is not handled well, then you will not be able to communicate with them before. In that case, there is no way to manage it, so it is a key to deal with the relationship with the parents-in-law.
Second, you can ask your husband to help, if your parents-in-law are too selfish, you can ask your husband to help you, your parents-in-law to talk, to communicate, to try to get them to understand you. After all, your husband is their son, and in general, they will listen to their own son, so I think you can ask your husband to help, which should be a good choice.
Third, if you really don't get along, and your parents-in-law are more selfish, then you can consider trying not to live with your parents-in-law, the relationship is not harmonious, if you live together, then there will be more contradictions, in order to avoid more contradictions, so it is not recommended that you live together, so there are fewer meetings, and there may be fewer contradictions. Minimize contact. More contradictions can be avoided.
Fifth, you should actually understand too much that no one is perfect. Everyone has their own shortcomings, and you also spend more time with your husband, so you don't have to worry too much about it. Family harmony is the best.
Try to understand. At the same time, you have to treat your parents-in-law as if they were your own biological parents, and if your biological parents are like this, then what will you do? If you think about it this way, maybe you will feel a little relieved.
I hope you can understand more and create a good family atmosphere.
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If you really can't meet such a father-in-law and mother-in-law, you can take the child back to your parents' house to live, which not only avoids the conflict with your parents-in-law, but also reduces your own burden.
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To be able to correctly handle the relationship with your in-laws, you must first have filial piety, treat people with sincerity, and understand their difficulties.
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In the face of selfish mother-in-law, I am also very speechless, I have been married to my husband for nine years, my mother-in-law's family is in the countryside, because I work back in the city, in order to save rent and pay rent, most of the time I live in my mother's house, but today I went home on the first day my mother-in-law told me to eat an egg for a dollar, and I have to count the money at home when I eat it all year round except for holidays. Why are you so selfish, you have been giving less money since you got married, and in the end you have to pay extra money for food. I'm.
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