What to do if your boyfriend doesn t bring the security you want?

Updated on psychology 2024-05-06
8 answers
  1. Anonymous users2024-02-09

    When people are insecure, they will make some extreme actions, especially some women who are in love, if their boyfriend can't give her a sense of security, they will start to be suspicious and irritable. <>

    When we step into a relationship, we can't guarantee that it will be as good as we expected, sometimes you have a relationship with your boyfriend, he may not be able to give you the security you want, and then you have to think about whether it is his problem or your problem.

    If it's because of some of his actions, or the way he usually treats other people of the opposite sex, you can talk to him and tell him that you want him to make you feel secure, to feel safe, to feel that he can make you feel dependent. If he really loves you and really cares about you, then he should change after you talk to him.

    However, some girls are really extremely insecure, and a boy's unintentional move may make you feel worried, but in fact, this is a burden on two people. If this is the case, it is your own problem, in fact, many times, the reason why people are insecure is because they are not confident enough to know themselves enough.

    In fact, I think there is no way to rely on others to give you a sense of security, if you have been pinning the security you want on others, it is actually nothing, the real sense of security is brought to yourself, when you are confident enough and strong enough, feel that you are good enough, you can bring yourself a sense of security, why expect others to give you.

    And in a relationship, if you keep pinning the security you want on your boyfriend, this is also a kind of pressure on her. After all, both of them are separate individuals, and it is impossible for him to take into account all aspects of you, and even if she loves you enough, there must be some negligence. If you always feel insecure and need him to take care of you, it will actually be an obstacle to your relationship.

    So, if it's your own problem, you should change yourself, you can do something you like, and when you find your interest and work hard for it, you will radiate your own brilliance. Others say that a confident woman is very beautiful, and when you feel that you have your own preferences, find what you like, and make certain achievements, you will naturally feel safe.

  2. Anonymous users2024-02-08

    It depends on what you think, so calm down and ask yourself if you love him very much; Do you really want to be with him, there is a result; It still doesn't matter to him, I don't love him very much, I just like it a little. Once you've figured it out, you'll know what you're supposed to do.

    Suppose you really love him and want to be with him to have a result. That's how I am, and I've experienced it myself. Then you can analyze the reason why your boyfriend can't give you a sense of security at this moment, whether it's because you don't have any self-confidence in yourself, or because your boyfriend is not very reliable, always likes to mess with flowers, not down-to-earth, not reassuring.

    If it's your own reason, then you have to start from yourself, work hard to improve your abilities in all aspects, make yourself better, and have enough confidence in yourself, you won't be insecure.

    If it's your boyfriend's fault, then you should communicate with your boyfriend and make everything clear. Be very clear with him, what he does that you don't like, what you don't feel comfortable with, don't ask him to do such things again. See if he can get rid of this habit of messing with flowers, if he can make changes for you, then you can rest assured of him and you will have a sense of security.

    If you don't particularly love your boyfriend and don't necessarily go anywhere, then you can choose to give up, that is, break up. To find someone who can give you a sense of security, to find a man who meets your needs and what you think is better, to love yourself well, and to strive for your own happiness.

  3. Anonymous users2024-02-07

    I've always felt that it's a terrible thing for my feelings to be controlled by another person, and you feel sad about being happy for him, and even if you try to tell yourself that it's okay, your heart still hurts.

    I believe that if a guy loves his girlfriend very much, then he will definitely give the girl a sense of security, and if the boyfriend can't give me security, it may be because he doesn't love me that much, or doesn't love me at all. Then this relationship is better to break off early.

    I'm the kind of girl who is slower to heat, that is, the longer the two know each other, the longer they have been dating, the more addicted I will be. If my boyfriend can't give me a sense of security, I'll become very insecure.

    On the one hand, I understand that this relationship may not end well, but on the other hand, my heart can't help but love him more and more. When I love him very much, he leaves suddenly, and I probably will be really sad. It won't collapse, but it's so sad that it's hard to breathe.

    So instead of waiting for you to indulge in love and can't extricate yourself, it's better to break off this thought early.

    I've seen too many sweet couples, so I feel like if my boyfriend really loves me, he won't make me feel insecure. It's very irresponsible for a boy to say that I can't do anything, so it's not a pity that such a boyfriend is really divided.

    Maybe love can't be explained clearly with reason and reason, but I hope I can be a little more simple at that time.

    Life is not only about love, but also about family and friendship. After the breakup, I will focus more on family and friendship, and continue to look forward to love. The sense of security is mutual, and the feelings cannot be paid all the time, and I hope to meet people who have the same three views and are suitable for themselves in the future.

  4. Anonymous users2024-02-06

    Faced with such a time, you can tell your boyfriend directly. If he truly loves you, he will give you a sense of security.

    Because I also feel that my boyfriend can't give me a sense of security, I'm a relatively strong woman. I like to do everything I do very well. But my boyfriend is a very attentive person who doesn't have much ambition.

    He just wants to live an ordinary life, and at the same time, he is also a person who loves fantasy.

    In my eyes, I always feel that this kind of person is unrealistic, what is there to fantasize about every day, life is life, reality is reality. But he felt that he could only live well in his fantasies, so I allowed him to fantasize, and I told him every time that you couldn't give me a sense of security. You didn't make me feel a kind of man's love for women, you didn't make me feel that you are my blue sky, and I grew up happily under your illumination.

    In fact, you can empathize with such a situation. Maybe it's because we want too many things that our boyfriend can't give, and gradually we feel that our boyfriend can't give us a sense of security in life. It's not that he can't give it, it's that our desire is too strong.

    So, you have to change yourself a little bit as well. Something doesn't have to be a boyfriend. You can look at your boyfriend in a different light, and then you will find that he is actually very good to you.

    I complained about my boyfriend every day and felt that he was bad in every way. However, the time is getting longer. I chose to change my position to see him, so that I just realized that it was good to invite him.

    It's just that I didn't see him being nice to me at the time.

    So, as you don't think so much. It's not easy to find someone who loves you. The sense of security is actually something that we can give ourselves, and a boyfriend is just a person who accompanies us in our lives.

    He doesn't have to do everything for us, we have to face the ups and downs of life by ourselves, and my boyfriend is just a person who silently supports us behind the storm.

  5. Anonymous users2024-02-05

    Two ways, the first to break up. Since your boyfriend can't give you a sense of security, why do you want this boyfriend? Then find someone who can give you a sense of security, and only such a person can entrust you with your life.

    Girls, looking for a boyfriend is to have someone who can share the joys and sorrows with you in your future married life, if the other party can't give you what you want, then how can you be a weak woman in your future life? Therefore, break up, people have no long-term worries. Find a boy who can support you for a while.

    The second type of other party is a relatively weak boy, and you are precisely the kind of girl with boyishness, you are the legendary "complementary" lovers, such two people. Usually girls are better at communicating with the outside world, but boys are suitable to be your backing force at home. So you don't have to ask the other person to give you a sense of security, because you yourself are already domineering, and no one dares to approach you.

    On the contrary, your boyfriend needs your protection.

  6. Anonymous users2024-02-04

    There are two ways to solve this problem: first, you love him enough to choose to adapt to the feeling, and second, you can treat him in general, and then choose to leave the crooked neck tree and find another forest.

    The vast majority of girls need a boyfriend (or husband) to give us a sense of security, and then they will naturally become dependent. No matter where we go, no matter what we do, no matter what kind of situation we encounter, as long as our boyfriend is around, we will feel warm and not afraid of anything, because with him, everything is fine.

    It's good to have a boyfriend like this, but you're two people after all, and you can't stay together all the time. When they first fell in love, the two of them enjoyed that kind of taste, and they were tired of being together all day long and didn't feel bored. But after a long time, the boy began to complain that he didn't have his own time, and contradictions began to arise, so it was better not to rely on him than to have such a problem.

    Even two people who are married cannot be tied together all the time, and they need to solve many problems by themselves, and over time, the so-called sense of security will arise on its own, and it is no longer so necessary for another person to give.

    Although my husband and I are married, we have been in a long-distance relationship for five or six years before marriage, and our relationship has always been maintained by feelings. The kind of security you are talking about is caused by your being too dependent on your boyfriend, everyone has a habit of relying on another person, but there has to be a degree.

    Again, if you love your boyfriend enough, then choose to adapt to this feeling of insecurity, make yourself strong, and don't need a sense of security from a man, then you are still fine together, and nothing will change.

    If you feel that you don't have a boyfriend to bring you security, you won't be able to stand it and you won't be able to survive, then you might as well choose to break up. But after a long time, you will find that the sense of security you give is real.

  7. Anonymous users2024-02-03

    When girls are in love, they all hope that their boyfriends can give them a certain sense of security. If the woman is always insecure in a relationship, and the man can't give the woman a sense of security, I don't think this kind of relationship can last long. I recently saw this message on the Internet, my boyfriend can't give me the security I want, what should I do?

    So, let's find out together. <>

    1. What should I do if my boyfriend can't give me the security he wants?

    As a boy, since you choose to fall in love, you must be responsible for the woman. For example, give the woman enough security. What should I do when my boyfriend can't give me the security I want?

    I think you can choose to break up in this situation, as a boyfriend, you can't even give you a sense of security, what's the point of being together? It's better to find someone who can give you a sense of security, and such a person can be entrusted for life. You can also choose to separate from your boyfriend for a short period of time to see what happens to your boyfriend.

    Man. 2. The reason why your boyfriend can't give you a sense of security

    There is also a certain reason why friends can't give you a sense of security, maybe it's because he is not single-minded and often gets into trouble. Maybe it's because he's not the right person for you, and the two of you aren't the right person together. Maybe it's because you don't get along well enough, if you accumulate a lot of contradictions in the process of getting along, this situation may add up these contradictions and make your relationship cool down rapidly.

    However, girls are already suspicious, and maybe some small behaviors can make you feel insecure. Therefore, girls sometimes have to improve their suspicious and inappropriate behavior. The most important thing for two people to be together is to trust each other, and they also need a little personal space for each other.

    Don't always be cranky, everyone has something to do, and it's impossible to make love the whole of life. Girls are very suspicious, which is a bad disadvantage of girls. Therefore, in the process of falling in love, we must trust each other and understand each other, so that the love will last for a long time.

  8. Anonymous users2024-02-02

    Your boyfriend can't give you the security you want, in this case you can choose to break up, because two people are together, security is the most important, he can't even give you the most basic sense of security, then there is no need to be together, it is very important to choose the other half that suits you.

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