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First of all, the third party (including but not limited to the parents) thinks about the future of both parties and arranges a blind date for both parties to complete the marriage as soon as possible. The age group of the objects of modern arranged marriages is getting younger and younger. As it becomes more and more common for college students to "be on a blind date", modern arranged marriages are gradually becoming a major way to solve marital problems in society.
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That's really the thinking of the older generation, now it's the 21st century, marriage parents can't arrange, advocate free love, my youth I decide, as long as I like to find a person who lives a life, parents will not object, that parent does not want their children to be happy.
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There are very few arranged marriages by parents, only what you like is the best, marriage events can't be child's play, and parents don't want to force it! Because they don't dare to promise happiness either. Not all arranged marriages are unhappy, it mainly depends on how you feel.
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The era of arranged marriages has long passed, and the original intention of the parents' arranged marriages is good. They all want their children to be happy. But the results are not necessarily good. If it's not a wrong union, I still hope that it is better to get married in free love.
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It's up to you how you think about it. Because i's parents want to be good for you. Probably ignoring your thoughts.
for I have gone for you. It's understandable. It's just that it also depends on whether you are interesting to the other person, boring.
Just talk to your parents. Parents are thinking about their children, but they may also have some ulterior motives! Now it's the twentieth century, and love is free.
There is really no need for parents to arrange marriages.
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I hope that our young people really have to think about this kind of thing for themselves, because this is the person you will be with for the rest of your life, and if you give your opinion on this kind of thing, I believe that every parent will respect you, because parents also want to be good for you, right? Also, it always takes some time and process from acquaintance to acquaintance, flash marriage is not so easy to flash, don't treat this matter with a perfunctory attitude. In this way, we are responsible for each other.
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Many of them are, from blind date to marriage in less than a month, from marriage to divorce in less than three months, is the choice given by parents really right? It is undeniable that the age and experience of our parents must be stronger than ours, and it must be for our good, but this is your lifelong marriage, do you really not think about it yourself and consider your own choice? Personally, I don't think it's right, the days are your own, and you should think about it more.
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I saw such an example in a report, the author's friend started a blind date at the age of 20, and he was together for two or three years, and in the first month of the 23rd year, he was engaged to a girl in the same village under the control of his parents, and the wedding date was put until the end of the year, because he had to go out to work, he started a long-distance relationship, but he didn't last long, and he heard the news of their breakup.
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It's really a cycle of the world, and people's hearts are not ancient! In ancient times, arranged marriages, how good the words of the matchmaker were for the parents, at least you don't have to worry about yourself, and now you are getting older and older, and you don't have much heterosexual relationship, and you will be lonely and old!
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1.Modern marriageable people are more independent, emphasizing free love, pursuing love, and looking at problems from a completely different perspective and standard than the previous generation. However, the relationship between parents and elders is longer, and they know how to maintain a good relationship in a marry, and they also know what kind of object they can find to better manage their lives.
When you and your elders have different views on mate selection, how can you deal with your relationship with your elders and find a suitable marriage?
2.Parents will want to find a partner who has a high income and a house, so that they don't have to have too much financial pressure after marriage. In your opinion, marriage is your own and you should make your own decisions.
But she felt that she was "full of love and water", and she insisted on getting married. Life after marriage is not as beautiful as you imagined, after the sweetness of love fades, the trivial matters of firewood, rice, oil and salt make life stretched, they often quarrel because of economic problems, and the beauty of love has long disappeared. Divorce becomes a deliberate choice for both parties.
3.Of course, the opinions of parents are to collect more wisdom and wisdom, but the important point is to recognize that opinions are used as a reference to make decisions, not directly to the conclusions of the results. On the issue of mate selection and marriage and love, it is necessary to have an individual's independent opinion, and parents can also be invited to be advisers, but it needs to be analyzed, and there are trade-offs.
Parents are all interested in your own good, but what they think is happiness is not necessarily what you want. Develop a relationship between yourself and the other person. After experiencing an unhappy marriage, Ms. Lan has also grown up, and is willing to listen carefully to her parents' suggestions for reference, seeking a consensus between the two parties.
4.Sense of empathy, the two generations understand each other, Mr. Xu is very troubled, because the head of the faction is too strong for his parents. From childhood to adulthood, all the things of your parents were arranged for you, and they didn't give him a chance to choose at all.
And he thinks that the other party only needs to have a good personality and be considerate, and he doesn't need too many additional conditions. The relationship was not blessed by her parents, and her girlfriend chose to let go. Since then, he and his parents have been at a stalemate over marriage and love.
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This is a complex issue. Whether or not you should fully follow your elders as children depends on the circumstances
1.Elders often have more life experience and take into account many factors that we have not paid attention to, so it is wise to follow the advice of their elders in many decisions. However, it does not mean that there is no room for judgment and identification.
2.The decision on personal development should be in your own hands. We need to take responsibility for our own lives and have the right to make choices based on our personal dreams and values. Therefore, when it comes to the direction of personal development, it is necessary to combine one's own real thoughts, rather than completely accommodating the elders.
3.Family and affection are equally important. Some decisions, although not so personally willing, can be compromised for the sake of the feelings of the family and elders, which is also a form of feedback. But only if you don't cause serious discomfort or regret to yourself.
4.Communication is key. Understand the kindness of your elders, and at the same time express your true thoughts.
When both parties disagree, reach a consensus through high-quality communication. This is often a win-win situation, where the advice of the elders is respected and the individual does not have to compromise too much on the choice.
Therefore, whether or not you should fully follow the advice of your elders as a child depends on the specific situation and the nature of the decision. It is our duty to understand and respect our elders and follow advice on many matters, but the right to make decisions about personal development should not be completely abandoned, and communication is key. When choosing to disagree with the elders, it is necessary to rationally analyze the situation and make a decision that will leave no regrets.
Family is just as important as relationships, and it is necessary to find a balance between the individual and the family.
To sum up, this is a question that requires wisdom and warmth to judge together. Cradle, an attitude of obeying the elders and not giving up on oneself, will be the key to solving such problems.
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How many blind dates are related to each other now, the more parents are, the closer they are, in other words, real relatives, the objects introduced to us are precisely the most unsuitable for us?
Because these relatives often do not understand the child. Our parents and these close relatives, they love us, but they don't understand us. What's even more terrifying is that they think they know us well.
Parents and those close relatives who care about us and love us always think that they know their children very well, know what they need, what kind of partner they like, in fact, they go to find a partner for their children according to their own preferences, in other words, what they think their children like. But in fact, when children become adults, their communication with their parents and relatives begins to be stylized, that is, they are very close on the surface, live together, and seem to see each other often, but they rarely communicate effectively.
The words are simple communication in daily life, the kind of thought communication that is deep and touches the soul, and it seems difficult to achieve with parents and relatives. First of all, there is a generation gap between the two generations, different values, and different views on many things.
Therefore, it is difficult for young people to open their hearts to these elders, and their true thoughts will not be confided in them. Because they don't understand it, they are likely to interfere in their own lives. Therefore, parents and elders are always wishful thinking about their children, and they think about it with their own ideas.
The same is true for emotional matters. And this kind of speculation is often inconsistent with the child's real thoughts and actual needs.
Many times, parents will feel that they have taken some detours and stepped on some pits emotionally when they are young, and they don't want their children to fall into them. It is precisely because he was young that he had those wrong thoughts and wanted to help his children correct them in time, so he is likely to follow his current age of thinking about feelings, and feel that what kind of person is more suitable for marriage and life, to shoehorn into his children, and also hope that his children will fully accept his emotional values.
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I don't think there's a say in not understanding the root cause of things. Maybe they really have a last resort and do something wrong, and they should criticize education more. Let them realize their mistakes, no matter what kind of hardships they have.
Nothing like this should be done. Only by recognizing one's own mistakes can one improve one's overall quality.
1.Learn to know yourself.
We must reflect on ourselves wisely and quietly, thoroughly understand ourselves, list our strengths and weaknesses, understand which aspects we have done well, which aspects still have insufficient efforts, and understand ourselves more objectively, which aspects can be solved now, which ones need to be solved for a long time, etc., and only after fully understanding ourselves can we effectively improve ourselves, find the goal of improvement, and have a steady stream of motivation.
2.Take a long-term view.
When we make some major decisions, we can take into account the situation in five years, we can be more independent and self-disciplined, the more long-term a person's vision, the clearer his goals, the more able to adhere to some good habits.
3.The determined target of the royal jujube label should be practical.
The goal is unrealistic and too ideal, which leads to the bad situation of working hard for a period of time and still not seeing hope, so you will lose the motivation to work hard and cannot continue to persevere, so we must set goals realistically, and make a little more progress every day, so that we will make ourselves better and better.
If people's thinking of dismantling shirts progresses, of course, they will not make such mistakes.
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Here's an answer to that question for you. First of all, in terms of personal experience, will the marriage arranged by the parents be happy? In fact, it is not good to say, happiness or unhappiness still depends on how the two people get along and manage after marriage.
Start by talking to your parents.
The matter of the parents' arranged marriage may also be balanced by the parents' good intentions, they feel that the objective conditions are suitable, and the starting point is good, but the way is wrong, so you have to talk to your parents well, maybe they will let go of this obsession with arrangement.
The second is based on the situation of the arrangement.
If you happen to not have a suitable partner, and the marriage partner introduced by your parents also meets your criteria for choosing a mate in all aspects, the point is that both of them have a good first impression and are both single, then you can also consider taking a look, because parents want their children to be happy, but sometimes, their expressions are different from ours.
At worst, if there is a person who is in love, it depends on the emotional intelligence of your love partner.
If your parents know that you have a crush on someone and they will arrange it for you, then there may be something that your one has not entered the eyes of the second elder, and it depends on how your parents move your parents with a sense of sincerity.
Hope mine can help you friend.
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I don't think my parents' arranged marriage is happy. Everyone longs to have a happy marriage, and this happy marriage needs to be fought for and chosen by themselves. I've seen a lot of arranged marriages with parents that ended up being unhappy.
My brother's marriage was arranged by my parents, because my brother Zhaojizhong is more introverted, so he has never found a suitable girlfriend, so his parents are very anxious. So, I arranged various blind date activities for my brother, although my brother was very reluctant to that kind of activity, but under the pressure of my parents, I still participated in it again and again.
There have been many meetings before that have not been satisfactory, and later, there is a girl who thinks it is okay. So, my parents arranged for a matchmaker to tell my brother about matchmaking, and in this way, my brother got married at the urging of his parents. Because the two haven't known each other for a long time after all, they don't know each other well enough, so they often quarrel over trivial things in life after marriage.
I often tell my brother that since they have chosen each other, they should be more tolerant and understanding, and in life, when they encounter problems, they should communicate more. It is fate that the two can come together. But the elder brother said that he didn't want to get married in such a hurry at all, and he hoped that he would meet the girl he liked.
But his parents didn't accept his idea, and his parents wanted him to get married early, so that they could hold their grandchildren as soon as possible. but ignored his brother's feelings.
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