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Similar to my children, I also have such times, I feel distressed if I fight, and I am so angry that I don't fight. However, we might as well think about it this way, who has not had a childhood, who has not had a disobedient time, that is when children love us. Next time, before you want to do it, count to ten, and then take a deep breath.
Usually when I do that, I don't fight because I don't think it's necessary. After all, the child is still young.
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Take a deep breath before you want to hit your child, and slap yourself a few times before raising your hand to see if it hurts. What kid isn't naughty? Which parent is not angry?
Treat children with tolerance and understanding. If you fight, you can beat a good child out, and you don't have to be angry every day, you hit the child every day. If your child does something wrong and makes you angry, you should tell your child what to do right, and then tell him that if you do something wrong, your parents will beat you I believe that your child will correct it in time.
Of course it's not really a fight, it's just a verbal threat. I was upset for a while, always scolding the child, but when I saw the child's timid and aggrieved expression, I felt that I had done too much, and then I hugged him, coaxed him, and taught him how not to make his mother angry. Children can usually understand it.
The child was born not to beat him, but to educate him, so that he could be more qualified and self-contained than himself. Hitting the child often, this bad temper is easy to learn by the child, and it will only be harmful to the child in the future. And there is a kind of child's natural rebellion, the more you beat him, the more he will make you angry, if you reason with him, talk about him to understand, talk about him to understand, talk about him to understand, he will naturally be considerate of you.
You love your children, and they will love you. If you hit your child, the child will only hate and love you, and it is easy to develop a contradictory personality.
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Venting emotions because it doesn't solve the problem, it complicates it.
If you can't control your emotions, you scold your child should: learn to understand yourself, find the reason, start to break the habit, and practice.
1. Learn to understand yourself. If you want to change your child, you must first change yourself. Change yourself so that you don't become a parent whose love is out of control.
You have to realize that beating and scolding your child can only vent your emotions at most, but it will not help you at all. If you really can't control it, leave for a while, find something else to distract yourself, and if you keep putting yourself in the same space as the child with an opposing attitude, there will definitely be a big explosion in the end.
2. Find the reason. Find the daily factors that tend to cause you to lose your temper and scold your child. We will carefully analyze these factors to understand and find solutions to these problems.
Make a scolding child for yourself, divide it into several major items such as date, duration of scolding, reason for scolding, and final treatment, and fill it in every time you scold your child or have this impulse.
3. Start breaking habits and practicing. If you have a habit of getting angry and scolding your child at every turn, don't be too yourself, don't expect yourself to change anything overnight, and slowly change this habit. You have the consciousness to change this habit, and after you are mentally prepared, you should start practicing slowly.
You need to practice slowly to control your emotions and self-reflect at all times.
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1.When you calm down after you get angry, apologize to your child. Be sincere when apologizing, squat down or sit down, so that you and your child usually look at each other's eyes, instead of letting your child look up at you, and then say to your child seriously
I'm sorry, Mom shouldn't have hit (scolded) you just now." For some parents, it is not easy to make this step, they will feel awkward and embarrassed to apologize to their children, but taking this step, I believe that your parent-child relationship will go to the next level.
2.Then it is to encourage children to express their own thoughts and emotions, whether they are angry or scared, or even crying, parents must accept and accept their children's emotions.
3.Finally, after the child's emotions have calmed down, you can review the unpleasant experience with the child, explain to the child why he is angry, and let the child understand what he did wrong. For example, the mother in the example at the beginning can say to the child:
Mom hopes that you can go to bed on time, so that on the one hand, you can rest well, on the other hand, Mom also plans to wait for you to fall asleep and do the work work, so I am very anxious to see that you have not slept all the time, and then you knock over the water glass, Mom's anger will come up instantly. This explanation allows the child to understand the ins and outs of the matter, and the next time the lesson is learned, both parties can get along better.
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1. Parents must learn to exercise restraint and try not to beat and scold their children. Parents are venting their anger when they hit and scold their children, and most of this is because the child has done something that makes the parents angry.
If you want to restrain yourself, parents should stay calm and take two deep breaths when their children make mistakes or make their parents angry, so that they can suppress their temper.
2. Get to know your child better. While busy with making a living, parents must take time to get to know their children better, communicate more with their children's teachers, and try to have a comprehensive grasp of their children's performance at school and at home. The more you know, the less you misunderstand.
In this way, once the child is really disobedient, he can better understand how to guide the child.
3. Listen patiently to your children. If it is an angry parent, when faced with a child who does not listen to discipline, the most direct reaction is usually to scold. Parents calm down, try to be patient, and ask your child why he is doing this.
When parents have focused on understanding their children's thoughts and finding ways to help them solve problems, they may find that their children's behaviors are actually excusable, and they have released a lot of negative emotions.
4. Absorb educational knowledge. As a parent, it is our duty to take the initiative to absorb new educational knowledge. In the traditional parent-child education method, most parents use authority to educate their children, and beating and scolding punishment is an important method of authoritative education.
Absorbing new knowledge can help parents jump out of their own growth experience and adjust their educational concepts in time.
5. Reason with your child. In addition to the usual admonitions, parents should also teach their children certain truths in practical situations. Let your child have empathy, let him experience it from other people's perspectives, and truly understand how his actions affect others.
As for the way of explaining the reason, you can choose the depth of explanation according to the age of the child, especially young children can use the way of storytelling.
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