Have you ever had a failed relationship? What are the lessons learned?

My girlfriend told you that it was raining so hard today, so you said remember to bring an umbrella. Your girlfriend told you that you were tired from working overtime today, so you said to pay attention to rest. Isn't this an obvious awkward conversation, I know very well that boys care about girls more directly and rudely, but you also have to take care of other people's emotions.

It's raining heavily, and people want you to care about whether she's getting wet or catching a cold. It's very tiring to work overtime, and people want you to give her a little care, and ask her if she is hungry or tired. ‍‍

Don't keep talking about it, everyone will encounter some small contradictions in the process of falling in love, and everyone will have that moment of disliking each other very much. She may be disgusted with your addiction to games, may be super disgusted by your habit of going to the bar to play until midnight before coming home, may be helpless against your straightforward low emotional intelligence, and may be jealous of your behavior of having too close contact with girls. ‍‍

Yes, I personally think it's easy to get a person, but it's difficult to get the second half of the other party's life, feelings need to be managed and thought, don't lose each other at the expense of these meaningless comprehensions and truths. ‍‍

It's normal to fail in love, it's very good to be able to get out of failure and learn experience, I liked a girl very much when I was 14 years old, and I took it home and celebrated the New Year with my parents. After the New Year, she wanted to go back to Suzhou and I accompanied her, but when I got there, I saw her parents, and her mother thought that I was too young to be together, so we chose to be okay with each other, and then I began to want to make money and grow up!

Feelings are mutual, and they care more about each other's feelings. Don't live in your own world and feel sorry for yourself, don't think of yourself as a giant baby, your father is everywhere. You're not a baby in swaddling clothes who only cry, and your significant other isn't a fairy.

Everyone has this ego, don't magnify your emotions too much. Do you sometimes feel so aggrieved that you want to cry? Think before you cry, who owes you?

Do something to say a word once before losing your temper think if I were him. What will happen to me? Learn about each other's childhood experiences or family environment, and judge the way they express their feelings.

Think of your different feelings and ways of acting as a bridge. Sometimes the roar expresses his anxiety and fear of being hurt. The-for-tat at this time will only hurt a person who has been injured more.

Interpret the emotions he expresses in his way of expression, and then experience them. You may be closer than you are now.

It's easy to get someone, but it's hard to get the second half of the other person's life. Feelings need to be managed and considered, don't lose each other at the cost of these meaningless understandings and truths. There will come a time when you will sit down and discuss issues calmly like adults, instead of turning a blind eye to them and compromising again and again at the cost of losing your feelings. ‍‍

Once you told your girlfriend that you would become a better version of yourself and that you would have unlimited potential, but when you haven't realized it, the girl will believe your nonsense and be with you, only to find out later that none of your words have been realized, and the girl will also be disappointed in you, and this relationship will still not last long. ‍‍

After breaking up, many girls will say that they have no love for their exes and are not interested, which is actually found by the boys themselves, and it is the boys who disappoint the girls again and again and consume their love. Girls expect a lot from the people they like, but it is often in this way that they receive greater disappointment. When you first say that you will change, the girl is very excited, but you have no result, and she will inevitably be disappointed.

If you are still the same for the second or third time in the future, the girl will get used to it and think that you are like that, that is, at that moment, the heart begins to cool, and gradually lowers her expectations for you. The reason why words and deeds are so annoying is only because you give others a false hope. ‍‍

In difficult situations, the difference in thinking between men and women is even greater, and boys will feel that they should not bring negative emotions to others, and deal with them first. But the girl doesn't think like this, she will think that if you don't tell me when you encounter difficulties, this is not trusting me, this is rejecting my care. At this time, although the starting point of both parties is good, it is particularly easy to cause quarrels due to the different ways of thinking about problems. ‍‍

When you haven't lived and understood, and you are still full of doubts about life and the world, don't be in a hurry to fall in love, don't be in a hurry to promise each other, because when you are together, you have more responsibilities on your shoulders, you are not responsible for yourself, do you have the confidence to dare to be responsible for others? ‍‍

Dear, I have summarized the following lessons from my own experience in love.

1. Don't put labels; After falling out of love, we are likely to unconsciously label ourselves, many people immediately put a label on themselves after falling out of love, I am terrible, I don't deserve to be loved such a label, sometimes the real pain after falling out of love does not come from falling out of love, but from the bad label that I put up. When we put such a label on ourselves, most of the hearts are hopeless, so it is a very important thing to tear off the unreasonable label for ourselves.

2. Breaking up is not the same as being abandoned; Only children will experience the feeling of abandonment, as an adult, there is no question of who abandons whom, because children can not survive without their mothers, but adults can still live well after another person leaves, so there is no problem of who abandons whom in adult relationships. There is a very practical saying that only those who love themselves can gain the love of others.

3. We are always unwilling after the failure of love; Perhaps your unwillingness comes from a narcissistic damage that you can't bear. (Narcissistic damage refers to the fact that we think I should be loved by everyone, and the person I like must like me so that I can be valuable) After falling out of love, the other party left, and you were unwilling to redeem it in various ways, but this does not mean how much you love each other, but more to maintain your narcissism.

4. Good love must be mutually nourishing and comfortable to get along with; When you feel deeply consumed in love, maybe there is something wrong with your relationship, if you feel a lot of consumption in the relationship, maybe breaking up is also a good choice, a really good love must be mutually nourishing and very comfortable to get along with.

5. Breaking up is just an option; Everyone is here to walk with you for a while, and some people go their separate ways as they walk! But don't be discouraged, the next stop, we will all meet a destined person, the initial two people are attracted to each other and come together, in the process of getting along with the two people, they feel that a certain aspect is not compatible, and the breakup becomes a natural choice, just means that the two people are not suitable to continue walking.

The last thing I want to say is that both boys and girls remember one sentence.

Loving yourself is the beginning of a lifelong romance

Have a great day

1. Don't think that you can save a fallen lover, and the reason why sacrificing yourself will know that the other party is still deceived is because I expect the other party to change for me, thinking that love can make him change. But a lot of times, it's just a luxury.

2. Don't deceive yourself, waste your feelings in vain Whether he loves you or not, in fact, you know very well in your heart. In fact, you know very well in your own heart that you don't need to do some superfluous things to prove it. When he doesn't love you, it's not that you don't know, it's just that sometimes you choose to lie to yourself that he loves you very much.

3. Don't live in your own emotional world and can't extricate yourself, for breaking up, it will be better to be free and easy. It's enough to be sad about breaking up once, don't keep holding on to the memories and be reluctant, the only one who may be reluctant is you, and the other party is living a very chic life. There's no need to spend more time in your memories than your relationship.

4. Don't fall in love with people who don't have the same three views and negative energy, and it's very important to fall in love with a person who has the same three views. If two people can't even agree on the three views, they can't talk together, they quarrel every minute after talking about two sentences, and no one is convinced by anyone in their bones. Over time, it feels like it will be more and more noisy, and no one is really at fault, but it causes both people to be miserable.

The people you spend a lot with will influence you, let alone the people you have an intimate relationship with. Falling in love with someone who is self-motivated can drive you forward. Falling in love with someone who is full of negative energy will only make you more and more sad.

5. Make yourself better, and wait for you to be better later, so that it is easier to meet excellent people. The same people are more likely to attract each other, when you want your other half to reach a certain height, please make yourself excellent first, and you can naturally meet the degree. While you're dwelling on your last failed relationship, remember that better people are waiting for you.

If you don't come out for a long time, you'll never meet a better person. When you meet him, you will find that you deserve someone better to love you.

Hello. How to say, I have experienced three failed relationships, and the lessons I have summarized are as follows.

1.Can't talk to girls frequently, I've known each other for two months, and I chatted every day on WeChat**, and there is no new chat every day, which is easy to make people tired, and a chat every few days can increase each other's freshness.

2.Don't be condescending to help, it's easy to make the other party stressed. I just got divorced, and when I needed help the most with a child, I didn't care about the other party's feelings and spent money to buy this and that, and even spent more than 2,000 to buy a set of cosmetics, which was completely self-acting.

3.When the other party didn't tell you in person that it was inappropriate, don't ask the other party if you heard about it, since the other party didn't say it, and you heard it again, it means that you still have a chance to redeem it, and you ask it face to face, and you don't even have a chance to get along.

4.I am thin and small, with a height of only 160, so I must pay attention to what I wear in the future. Girls are very concerned about how they feel for the first time.

5.Only one party pays. It's that I paid for the other party, I feel very happy, whether the other party gives back, I am very happy, I only pay attention to the current feelings, and I don't have any expectations for the future. Such people are undoubtedly the happiest people who live.

1. After the failure of the relationship, we will find that love actually requires technical skills, and we cannot completely rely on simple likes to fall in love, but need to use certain skills to attract two people to each other.

We still need to use some caution when we are in love, for example, we will pretend to meet each other, and in the places that the other person frequents, we may occasionally go for a walk, and we may run into each other. In this way, you can create a picture of a natural encounter, and it will also make the other party feel that it is fate to be able to meet you, and it will be easier for two people to fall in love together. And girls should also deliberately dress up, try to keep themselves in a pseudo-clean state.

Second, after the failure of the relationship, we should spend more time on ourselves, whether it is to improve our appearance and temperament, or to improve our ability and work, we should let ourselves continue to improve.

If we fail to fall in love, our mood will become worse, and there is no time to spend at this time, the best way is to devote all this energy to work and study, so that we can harvest in our work. Strive to be able to improve the quality of work, exercise their ability, only by constantly improving and changing, it is possible to meet better people. If we are in a state of stagnation all the time, then the objects we meet must be people of the same level.

3. After the failure of love, we will find that two people can get along not only by appearance, but also by connotation and character, and only two people with the same values will be together for longer and longer.

Love has also made many people know the importance of values, although the initial encounter between two people is indeed because of a series of reasons such as appearance, but the two people who can really get along in the end must be two people who are more consistent in values. If two people have different values, then there will be a lot of conflicts in life, and these conflicts cannot be completely resolved, but can only be broken up.

First of all, when we are in love, we must choose the right person, this person can not look very handsome, but must be responsible, and then we must have our own plans for the future, and there is the ability to make decisions independently, my last boyfriend was Ma Bao Nan, very listen to his mother's words, everything has to ask his mother's opinion is really very upset, so we finally broke up.

The lesson that needs to be learned is that in a relationship, you don't need to put all your efforts into it, you should leave a part of your energy, love yourself well, be better for yourself, or protect yourself, and you should also pay attention to the fact that you must understand the other party's character in advance, and if you find the situation, you should stop the loss in time and don't continue to move forward.