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What is the best state between couples? The answer to this question may be different in ancient and modern times, and in the past, when it was described as a good relationship between husband and wife, it was all about raising eyebrows and respecting each other. And now, it is obvious that this standard seems out of place, and it is believed that for today's couples, the best state is to support each other, grow together, tolerate each other, and understand each other.
1. Support each other and grow together.
Happy families are always alike, and unhappy families have their own misfortunes. It is believed that in a family, whether the parents can have a close marital relationship directly determines whether the family is happy. In a happy family, we will inevitably see that Dad must love Mom, and Mom must love Dad.
Home and everything is prosperous, parents in the love to create a good family atmosphere can let the child in this kind of family healthy growth, but the impact is positive, such as the multi-bone Nomi card is linked one by one, if the child can thrive, it will be able to better maintain the whole family. In addition, in the marriage of the husband and wife can just be in a balanced position of the phenomenon should still be a minority, most of the family is one party in the economic strength or in the way of people is more powerful, at this time if the husband and wife can not maintain common progress, then the disgust is afraid that sooner or later the heart is about to come out. <>
2. Tolerate and understand each other.
In the adult world, there is no easy word. Whether it is outside the male protagonist, the female protagonist inside the model or the opposite, in fact, both husband and wife will have their own difficulties, at this time, it is necessary for the husband and wife to understand and tolerate each other, and when encountering problems, they can stand in each other's perspective to consider, then in daily life, they will definitely reduce the frequency of quarrels with each other because of trivial things, and the relationship between husband and wife will become more harmonious. <>
For today's couples, it is likely to experience three years of pain and seven years of itching, and to maintain an intimate relationship between husband and wife, this tests how husband and wife use their wisdom to maintain the marital relationship between the two.
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The best state for husband and wife to get along with each other is that two people care about each other, understand each other, and can work hard to manage their marriage in a common direction.
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Just like relatives, they can help each other when they encounter any problems, do not abandon or abandon, usually earn more money can be spent more, earn less money can be spent less, will not say that the other party is bad, will not condemn the other party.
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There is no need to disguise in front of each other, they will expose their truest side in this regard, trust each other, and worry about each other.
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Be tolerant of each other.
Trust each other. Whether it's a couple, a husband and wife, or even a friend, trust is the foundation. Relationships without trust can easily break down.
People are always independent individuals in the process of living together. Frictional collisions are inevitable. At this time, whether they can continue to get along will test each other's tolerance.
Tolerate each other's character flaws, after all, no one is perfect. Sometimes you can also try to change yourself for the other person. It's a long life, and they're all running in with each other and walking slowly.
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Normal husband and wife get along, I think it is to respect each other, what should be done when there should be more interaction between husband and wife, more intimate contact with the other half, so that the love can be maintained for a long time, because the couple must like each other, will marry him, this husband and wife will have this kind of continuous love with each other in the future, we must respect each other, mutual understanding, and then there is mutual do some indescribable things, so as to enhance the feelings of both parties, can be together until old age, because husband and wife are lifelong companions in this life. It is your other half who will accompany you to the end of your life, so cherish each other well to achieve a long, happy and healthy life.
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Feelings are a very mysterious thing that may take a long time to accumulate or disappear in an instant. In a married life, two people get along in different ways, which can lead to two completely different outcomes. Many couples will become more and more casual in their married life.
Some people will accept the imperfections of the other person, while others will not be able to bear it. In fact, as long as you change the way you get along, you can reduce a lot of things. Today, I will take you to see how husband and wife get along, and let's learn together!
How couples should get along with each other.
1. Understand each other.
Understanding is the basic criterion of interpersonal communication, and it is also the first secret of getting along with husband and wife. In married life, the husband should understand his wife, and the wife should understand her husband. If the husband is working outside the home and the wife is working full-time at home, then it is more important to communicate more.
Wives should not always blame their husbands for spending too little time with them, and husbands should not blame their wives for not earning money, but learn to understand each other.
2. Be tolerant of each other.
No one is perfect, and everyone has their own shortcomings, which is the charm of human beings. If a person has made mistakes in the past, then don't hold on to it after marriage. If there are still some shortcomings, you should not be overly concerned.
There is no soul that is completely compatible, only people who are tolerant and accommodating. If it's not something particularly unbearable, learn to tolerate these little shortcomings. There are also some things that are for the sake of health, such as quitting smoking and drinking, and should be taken step by step.
3. Respect differences.
Men are more rational, while women are more emotional, so there may be differences in the thoughts, desires, etc., of the husband and wife. On certain issues, learn to respect differences and not force others to agree with you. Don't think about changing each other between husband and wife, the more you want to change each other, the easier it is to have conflicts, take a step back and open the sky.
If you respect each other, you will find that it is much more harmonious than sticking to your own opinions.
4. Small noise and pleasantness.
In the relationship between husband and wife, quarrels are inevitable, and everyone has a temper. But remember, it's a little noisy. Quarrels between husband and wife are actually necessary, and not arguing will only accumulate problems, which may lead to a situation that can be solved without quarrels.
But quarrels should have a degree, don't quarrel continuously, don't have a cold war. Quarrels should be based on the principle of not staying overnight, and you can shake hands and make peace after the quarrel on the day.
5. Add interest.
No matter how vigorous the love you once had, after years of baptism, it will eventually turn into blandness. Therefore, we must learn to add interest to life, so that life can be nourishing and moisturizing. For example, a kiss in the morning, a hug when you go out, a small surprise, a sentence I love you, these seemingly simple actions can increase the feelings between each other.
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1. Give both parties the necessary sense of trust.
Trust is important in getting along with couples. The husband should not think that the other party is fooling around outside because his wife comes home late, and the wife should not think that the husband has a bad smell on him and think that he is unfaithful to herself. It's a terrible thing to have no trust in each other at all, so will such a couple live in harmony?
2 Don't dwell too much on the trivialities of the past.
Some things have already happened and they have happened, so you don't have to worry too much about them. It may be that such a thing has a great impact on one party or each other, and since this is the case, there is no need to worry too much. Cherish the present and the future! Now that you're already working together, why not consider growing old with them?
3 Learn to make romance.
It is true that two people have been together for a long time and know each other well. And because they are too familiar with each other, sometimes they even have a feeling of annoyance and disgust. This is a very normal reaction.
In that case, why not try to create a little romance? For example, the number of numbers on the other person's birthday every month, try to do something for the other person. At the same time, try to do some trivial things in life in different ways, and maybe there will be the results you want.
4 Try to have a little more sense of humor.
A sense of humor is important in couples' lives. If both husband and wife have a sense of humor, it will be easy to get along with. Of course, don't be discouraged if you feel like you weren't born with a sense of humor, there are some things you can learn if you want to.
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The longevity of a marriage is inseparable from the ability of husband and wife in two aspects: effective communication and resolution of conflicts and conflicts. Among them, communication is the most basic and important ability. So what should husband and wife communicate with, when and how?
What to communicate. (1) It is better to say more than to say well.
When it comes to communication, many people mistakenly think that they must tell all their thoughts and feelings to the other party. In fact, both husband and wife must filter the content of their speech, and do not say anything that hurts the relationship between husband and wife.
Husband and wife have been together for a long time, and they should have a certain degree of understanding of their spouse's preferences, and this topic is taboo for each other, so don't touch this topic again. If the husband is not highly educated and is sensitive to conversations about academic qualifications, the wife should not use this as a topic to avoid hurting her husband's self-esteem. If your husband's income is low, don't talk about money every day, because talking about money looks tacky and invisibly increases her husband's psychological burden.
2) To be honest, it is better to leave some leeway.
A common misconception in marriage is that husband and wife must be absolutely honest with each other and must not have personal privacy. Speaking without reservation, the result is that the other party has negative emotions, and the accumulation of negative emotions will be detrimental to the marriage relationship.
For example, the wife said, "I met Miss Chen, whom you had dated before, today, and she is still so charming."
The husband said, "She was originally very charming, there are not many women like her, and I think a lot of men will like her." The husband's frank voice of his thoughts may make his wife suspect that he is still nostalgic for his old lover, and will cast a shadow on the relationship between husband and wife.
2.When to communicate.
Many people are so focused on their emotions that they spit out as fast as they can, but they don't care about whether the listener can listen to them. When a person is depressed, he will no longer have the heart to listen to his spouse, which in turn will cause the complainant to be dissatisfied because he is not taken seriously. Therefore, when the husband and wife communicate with each other, it is best to choose a time when both parties are calm in order to produce good results.
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Between husband and wife, the best state is not like glue, not respectful as a guest, but "equality", and the best state of a marriage should be that both husband and wife can be comfortable with themselves, both parties have no excessive requirements and occupation for each other, simple, easy and natural, no need to tolerate, no need to change, marriage needs to be inclusive, but its cornerstone must be equality, not without a bottom line against the will to please.
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The best state between husband and wife is to share funny things or interesting things with each other, and then also cook together and travel together, and talk about some very good goals, which is very good.
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Living the life of an old husband and wife, I occasionally mix my mouths, but not too much.
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The best relationship between husband and wife is that it is not easy to understand each other.
When the other person makes a mistake, he does not just care about insulting and blaming, but takes into account the other person's feelings, and then stands on the same side with him and her and faces the problem together.
As soon as the words of reproach come out, there is a distinction between right and wrong, pulling two people to the opposite side in an instant, and the feeling of love will disappear.
Blindly blaming not only does not solve the problem, but is more likely to intensify the conflict.
In the psychology book "It's Not My Fault", it says:
The vast majority of divorces are the result of long-term accumulation, and such couples snowball each other and defend themselves.
Husbands and wives always look at each other's mistakes and vigorously defend their own strengths, manners, and behaviors.
This will lead to the other side being stubborn and even unwilling to give in. ”
Some couples turn it into-for-tat confrontation in mutual accusations, while others turn it into finger twisting in mutual tolerance.
This is also why some people break up after arguing, and some people quarrel and have deeper feelings.
No marriage is free from problems, so the most important thing in marriage is that the two of them can turn a little less pleasant time into happiness.
If you always think about right and wrong, and then blame it, the winning side wins the result, but loses the feelings, both parties are unhappy, and it is not worth it.
In particular, I agree with Wang Han's understanding of the relationship between the sexes: "When you are alone, treat yourself well; When two people are in charge, be kind to each other. ”
The famous French writer Balzac also pointed out the secret of a long marriage: "A good marriage requires only a friendship that forgives the shortcomings of human beings." ”
Not easy to blame, family closer.
When it comes to parents who don't easily blame their children, the first thing that comes to mind is Zeng Guofan's father, Zeng Linshu.
After failing to make the list once, Zeng Guofan went to his father's friend to borrow a hundred taels of silver and ran to buy books with great interest.
This is a huge amount of money, equivalent to his family's income for several years.
With the mood of "being scolded for being a bloody dog, and serving the family law at the worst", Zeng Guofan returned home.
After his father, who had always been strict, found out, he said calmly: "It's a good thing to buy a book, you don't have to worry about the money, our Zeng family will pay it back slowly, but since you bought this book, you must read it all." ”
These few words shocked Zeng Guofan, and he vowed not to study for a day.
Just imagine, if Zeng Linshu was just blaming and blaming at that time, what would be the other situation?
In psychology, there is a proper term called "alienated communication style", which refers to the communication style that does not seriously solve the problem and only cares about blaming the other party.
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