Why are you nostalgic for the past? Why people like to be nostalgic for the past

There must have been something beautiful happening in the past, and now it's not as happy and happy as before, so I spend most of my time nostalgic for the past, and I want to return to the carefree and happy life of the past; It may also be that there is something regretted in the past, and there is always a regret there, so I always think about the past.

Why nostalgia for the past? I think that's a really good question. Usually I want to be alone and reminisce about the past because memories are beautiful. So why nostalgia? It's really worth thinking about.

In fact, I am the most nostalgic for childhood, I don't know why, but I often think of my childhood, I have lived for more than 20 years, if there is a period of time I want to go back the most, it is probably childhood. Because that time was the happiest and most carefree.

In Mader's "Allow Yourself to Waste Time", he says, "I slowly understood why I was unhappy, because I always expected an outcome.

Reading a book and expecting it to make me profound, eating and swimming expecting it to make me lose weight, sending a text message expecting it to be replied to, being good to others and expecting to be treated back, writing a story about a mood and expecting to be noticed and comforted, participating in an event in anticipation of a fulfilling and enriching experience. If these preset expectations are realized, breathe a sigh of relief, and if they are not realized, feel sorry for yourself.

But when I was a child, it was the same me, I spent an afternoon watching the ants move, waiting for the stones to bloom, I didn't expect the results when I was a child, and I didn't discount my crying and laughing when I was a child. ”

It's a bit far. But it's pretty much the same. We are nostalgic for the past because it is irreversible, it can be whitewashed in memory, and I can recall it however I want.

The most important thing is that we can't go back, we can never go back, and it becomes more and more precious. People all have bad roots, and the more so, the more we like and cherish them.

You and the boy in the white shirt in the distant time, the fan above your head is spinning non-stop, the watermelon that sneaked out of the school gate at night to buy, the glass of wine we touched at the graduation party, and we left our hometown on the train, we used to laugh and scold, we would wait for the stones to bloom, but now we can only smile, why don't people miss the past?

Some people say: when you always remember the past, nostalgia for the past, and prove that you are old.

Yes, we are getting old unconsciously, the post-90s and post-00s are all surging, compared to them, the songs we used to like to sing, the movie stars we liked, and the dramas we chased have slowly become unforgettable memories of our past. We often wonder: how can the past be so good, why is it that it is gone?

Congratulations, you are already on the road to "aging".

Secondly, nostalgia for the past indicates that you want to escape the present. When we were young, we had dreams, pursuits, healthy physique, and indomitable will, but the reality either gave us a slap in the face or a heavy blow to us. So, people are scoffing:

The ideal is very plump, and the reality is very skinny. We are always nostalgic for the past, it must be because our present always has some unsatisfactory objective existence, so we often recall the good things of the past.

In the end, there must have been a shadow of a dreamman in the past. Whatever you get, you lose it at the same time. In the past, when everything we longed for became a reality around us, we would feel that it was nothing more than that.

Especially if we are always full of endless fantasies before we get a person, the feeling at that time is also the best. Once you get it, it's not enough. Really catered to that sentence:

There are no great people around, and there are no beautiful women by the pillow.

In any case, our present will also evolve into the future past, so every part of life is a beautiful place, isn't it?

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Everything we miss in life must be very beautiful, and if that beauty happened in the past, then of course it will be nostalgic for the past. There are always a lot of good memories in life, and every time we reminisce, the good ones come to mind:

1. Happy childhood

Children's Day is a good memory for everyone. When we were young, the happiest holiday was Children's Day. Because, on Children's Day, you can play happily, carefree, no growing pains, no pressure to learn, no social pressure, just to enjoy and play happily, the innocent smile of children must be a smile from the heart, and a smile from the heart is the most beautiful.

If we have grown up, we will definitely miss the innocent childhood.

2. Reading time

If we have worked, we will definitely be nostalgic for the quiet study time when we were students, when we study, we must like a quiet environment, and now in the hustle and bustle of the times, perhaps the busy state of life, it is difficult for us to have quiet study time, even if there is, there is no learning atmosphere in the classroom, reading atmosphere, because of this, so I will be particularly nostalgic for the good times of the student days.

3. Classmates

In the process of growing up, we will definitely have many classmates, including kindergarten classmates, elementary school classmates, junior high school classmates, high school classmates, and of course, college classmates. When I was studying, I must have met often, but after graduation, I will go to different fields and have very few opportunities to meet, so I will miss those study times with my classmates. (Welcome to my small town as a guest, personal WeChat***:.)

Mengyuan Jing'er, just established, hehe).

I consider myself an optimistic and positive person, and I always tend to think about the good side of everything, especially in the last few years, but I have survived it.

If there are friends around me who are going through hardships, I usually persuade them to try to look forward, because the storm will soon pass, and the sun and rainbow are waiting for us not far away.

But ask yourself, the ups and downs of the past few years, whether they have passed or are coming, when facing difficulties, the way for me to decompress is more to recall the past.

In the face of pressure, I can't help but think of the good old days.

Even in the past that I have actually experienced, my consciousness will travel through time and space, go deep into it, and then play freely with a more perfect solution.

Under in-depth analysis, I admit that I am not very satisfied with many decisions made in the past, and have chosen to regret and escape countless times, otherwise I would not have been nostalgic for the past frequently, trying to change history and erase the real past.

Why people like to be nostalgic for the past, I think this should be a very important reason for the original grip.

In addition, I analyzed that there is a situation that can easily lead us to immerse ourselves in the past.

For example, some things in the past were beautiful, but because of some factors, the present is not what it used to be, and the original beauty does not exist, so now from time to time we will miss the beauty of the past.

If the beauty of the past has continued to this day and has not disappeared, then the present self will not take the initiative to recall the past.

I take the experience of my student days as an example: three years of junior high school, three years of high school, four years of college, and after graduating from junior high school, I will be promoted to the first year of high school, and there will be a few months or a year in between, but I will often miss the third year of junior high school when I am in the first year of high school; The third year of high school is promoted to the first year of college. However, there is a gap of four years between freshman year and senior year, but few seniors take the initiative to miss the life of freshman and sophomore; In the same way, after graduating from university, entering the workplace for half a year or a year will also be frequently nostalgic for the pre-graduation period.

At present, I choose to be nostalgic for the past and nostalgia for the past to escape the suffering of reality, also because the growth environment and psychological state between the present and the past have changed dramatically.

In the past, I was unrestrained, I didn't have to bear too much social responsibility, I fed the whole family and didn't go hungry, I lived freely, even if I made a mistake, I regretted the cost, but now I am different from the past, I have multiple responsibilities, I walk every step in the society like walking on thin ice, and I am cautious every day or it is inevitable that I will fail. Once you lack a sense of security in your life, you will suffer from gains and losses, and it is no wonder that you will seek a trace of comfort and happiness from the beautiful memories of the past.

People are always nostalgic, and we have to face this emotion correctly, so nostalgia is okay, but don't trap yourself in the past and can't get out, pay attention to the size.

Make the present more exciting than the past.

You have always been a person who lives in the past, and often reminisces about the past, and when you think of bad memories, it makes you feel very bad, so you are sometimes inexplicably unhappy.

At first, I thought it was because of a good memory, but then I suddenly realized that you are a person who lives in memories.

This makes you more resentful, and every time you recall an unhappy experience in the past, you will experience an unhappy past again, why bother?

The problem is the solution, living in the past to solve the problem?

Maybe it's because of the desire for a relationship.

Because you are very eager to have relationships with other people and have friends, but now that you are out of town and are not very sociable, this serious lack of relationship and posture makes you very anxious.

Then recalling the remnants of the past from time to time can make up for this loneliness.

But just as drinking alcohol can make people temporarily paralyzed, painful, and happy, living in the past can also add unnecessary troubles and consume some time.

So what to do?

In fact, if you live every day well, live a sufficient and abundant life, you can draw your eyes from the past back to the present.

In fact, the problem will not be solved immediately, and whether there is a sense of wanting to change is more important than how to solve the problem.

The consciousness of change is like planting a seed, with continuous reading, practice, observing how others chat, ask questions, and how to connect with people, and tirelessly watering and fertilizing every day, this seed will one day grow into a big tree.

It's just that during the period, you have to endure loneliness, endure this period when you can't see much growth for the time being, and focus on watering, and you will definitely be able to gain something!

Many things are always experienced before you know that you can't afford to gain or lose. Just like feelings, after the pain, you will know how to protect yourself; If you are stupid, you will know how to persist and give up in a timely manner. Let us learn to give up, turn away before we cry, what we exchange for tears is not reliable; Let's learn to give up, bury yesterday in our hearts, and leave the best memories; Let's learn to give up so that we can all have an easier start for each other.

Holding on to it will only make you indulge in memories and pain and become sluggish. Let go of your hand, let it pass away with the wind of memory, you will find the other side of the sky, you will re-read the fragrance of life flowers, feel the warmth of the sun...

Giving up is not evasion, not cowardice; Giving up is an open-minded attitude. Think about it, how many people and things a person has to experience in his life, and if you don't know how to give up those things that have been lost and irretrievable, how can you grasp what really belongs to you? If you find that the only door in your world is no longer open for you, you don't have to linger in front of the door or hit your head and never wake up.

Learn to give up and turn around and look for a skylight that opens for you, where you can also see the stars ...