Why is it so hard for people in second marriages to be happy?

In reality, there are many people after divorce, again find the woman they like to form a new family, according to the social marriage association survey data, the second marriage has 88% of women will not be happy, why do you say that, the following by these 3 points of view, you still don't believe it, it's really the case!

1. Both men and women are too guardedBoth men and women, especially women, who have been hurt in the first marriage, will pay more attention when remarrying, and guard against the other half with the mentality of "the heart of defense is indispensable", there is an estrangement between husband and wife, and in the end only two people can only guard against each other like thieves. A person who is hurt and hated in his heart is like an ostrich when he remarries, preferring to shrink into his protective shell of self rather than come out and let people get closer.

2. There is too much selfishness between men and womenThere are two main aspects of selfishness in second-married couples: money and children.

When remarrying, if two people have their own children and want to plan more for their biological children, it is difficult to balance a bowl of water, which will inevitably make the other party feel unfair. On the other hand, the husband and wife are in charge of their own money, but they want each other to pay more for their living expenses, everyone has their own little abacus in their hearts, and they all want to have more money in their own hands.

3. There is too much suspicion between men and womenAnother problem faced by the second marriage is the relationship with the ex, because both people have exes, because of children, it is inevitable to meet with the ex, but in the eyes of the current one, it is a potential threat, especially if one party goes behind the other half to see the ex, it will make the other half suspicious.

It is more difficult for second-married couples to establish trust than first-time marriages, and once one of them is suspicious, the contradictions between husband and wife will gradually increase, and when they can no longer bear it, the days of second-married couples will come to an end. Whether it is the first marriage or the second marriage, it is a hard-won fate to be able to combine as husband and wife, since the union, we must manage it carefully, understand each other, and pay together, so that happiness will not be stingy with your gifts.

Personally, I think it's because there are more requirements in the second marriage, and the ideas are very complicated, and there are more things to consider, so it will be difficult to be happy.

Because these people will become very mature and more rational about marriage after a marriage, they will be able to better handle the feelings between husband and wife.

Because they have experienced one injury, they will be more defensive the second time and do not have much trust in each other.

One: Perfect your personality first.

Love can be done by one's own nature, or it can be romantic, but in the face of marriage, we need to be a rational person.

So don't copy the same set when you were in love to your marriage life.

In a handstool marriage, you need to perfect each other's personalities.

If one person has a stubborn personality, the other person will learn to tolerate it at the right time, and even if they quarrel, they can reconcile in time;

One person is sensitive and fragile, the other person is thick-skinned, and going out will also make the other person feel a sufficient sense of security.

However, if the personalities of both parties are too similar, such as being more self-assertive, when dealing with conflicts or encountering problems, it is equivalent to missing a solution, or even-for-tat.

In intimate relationships, most people only see each other, and they don't see themselves.

Therefore, the sense of need is very high, and I can't extricate myself from negative emotions, accusations, and complaints, and I ignore the importance of doing my best.

If you want to better adapt to your new married life, you have to try to adjust yourself a little.

Although it is said that you should not lose yourself in marriage, you must also remember that in marriage, you cannot be stubborn about yourself. When you are in love, you will respond to each other's needs.

Because during the love period, all you see is the other party's advantages, and after the love is over, it is the process of accepting the other party's shortcomings, which needs to be tolerated.

Looking at the world, how can there be a perfect partner and a perfect marriage, some are just wise and foolish with one eye closed, with the calmness and calmness of the hills and valleys in the chest, and the ability to make trade-offs will balance the common ground while reserving differences, so that the marriage seems to be quiet and unharmed for many years.

We always marry the good of a person, and the truth is that we have to live with the bad of a person. Three: Be sure to bring love.

It's lucky to get married for love!

When you get into marriage, you will understand that if there is no love, you will live a miserable life.

If you think about it, two people who are not related by blood, whether male or female, want to establish a long-term and stable relationship, except through love, there seems to be no other way.

If the purpose of your marriage is to say that I don't love you in the first place, I got married when the time came.

At that time, I really didn't know if you delayed others, or if you hurt yourself.

Never marry for the sake of getting married, take responsibility for yourself and your marriage partner.

At any time, love should be the premise of marriage, don't enter marriage without love, otherwise when you meet love after getting married, you may be upset.

If it's not suitable, it's the best, there are no two people who are born right, they are two people who run in and grow together, and you don't even want to run in with someone you don't love.

Your second marriage can still be happy, and it is right that you must cherish each other.

Marriage doesn't care about a few times, it cares about meeting the person who cares about you. Don't worry about other people's eyes, they are not you, the shoes are suitable or not, and the feet have the most right to speak. If you bury what you hope to get in your marriage, you will find someone who is smiling. Come on.

It depends! What are the reasons for divorce? If there is no domestic violence between the two people, or a third party, and the divorce is just a relationship incompatibility. That chance of happiness is not very large.

Because the second marriage is definitely not as happy as the first marriage! There are too many things involved in the second marriage, and both parties have their own children, and they both want to be good for their children. And stepmothers and stepfathers are not easy to be.

It's not your own biological child, it's not beating, it's not scolding, it's not good! The two of them each made their own little calculations, and they were not willing to pay sincerely. It's about living together.

There is certainly no happiness at all.

Let's give a real-life example! Someone I know, a woman divorced a man when her child was 5 years old!

After the divorce, I found a boyfriend, and the two lived together for more than ten years, but they did not get a license. The man is also divorced and has a girl with his ex-wife. When the man lived with a woman I knew, he said that he would not get a license and would not have children with the woman.

The woman agreed! That's it! The house rented by the two was paid by the woman, including the living expenses, which were all paid by the woman.

The man is only responsible for eating and sleeping. The men keep the money they earn and never give it to the women. Women don't know how rich men are? In short, the economy is separated, and the living expenses are out of the woman.

On such a day, the woman actually lived with the man for more than ten years.

It's kind of incredible. And in the past two years, the man and his ex-wife are still in contact. Because they have a daughter.

The man's ex-wife also returned to live with the man. Men always use excuses to support their children and live at both ends. This woman still doesn't dare to say anything?

I'm afraid that after the man goes back to his ex-wife, he won't go back to her! Ask what's this man? It's not a lot of love, it's just that the figure is handsome, and he has face when he takes it out.

Isn't it serving?

Now the woman wants to find another one who is true to herself. Hard. Try your best to ask someone to introduce her to someone.

You say she has someone living with now, who would dare to introduce her? The key is that there are requirements, I hope the economic conditions are good! I'm not too young!

Now that the conditions for men are good, they must look for young ones. I can't find the object, and I tell fortunes everywhere, and I think it's not a bad fate! How so?

Are you optimistic about a second marriage?

In fact, the second marriage and the first marriage, on a certain level, are no different, they are all the same happy and unhappy. But on another level, they are completely different, the second marriage involves more than the first marriage, and many of these factors often hinder each other's happiness.

Generally speaking, it is difficult for second-married couples to be happy, mostly for the following three reasons.

Because my marriage has failed, it is difficult to give it all my heart.

It stands to reason that the second marriage should be more cherished and better for each other than the first time. However, after experiencing a failed marriage, many people often have no way to do it and cherish each other more.

In their hearts, there will always be the shadow of a failed marriage, and there will always be some trauma, and these past experiences will make them feel very scared, afraid that the marriage will fail again. With this in mind, they often don't want to give so much, and will only make the marriage passable. In such a state, of course, it is difficult to be happy in marriage.

When it comes to children, it's always easy to get conflicted.

In a second-married family, if you marry with a child, then the child is not related to one of the parties after all. Getting along in such a relationship, even a little thing, will cause a lot of estrangement between each other.

The party who is related by blood will always be more protective of his children, and the party without blood relationship will be difficult to be appreciated no matter how well he does. Such a complex relationship, not to mention that it is difficult to get along, but it is easy to have each other's own hearts and suspicions, and there is no way to deliver sincerity. When everyone is face to face and heart are not in harmony, of course, life is difficult to live well.

The involvement of family relationships, which will affect the relationship between husband and wife.

After a divorce, many people always have no way to completely cut off contact with their previous family due to various reasons. When there is still a connection between each other and the ex, this will of course make the current one feel very uncomfortable.

No current spouse can afford to have their significant other entangled with their ex, and every time something like this happens, it will seriously destroy the relationship between the husband and wife. When the contradictions between two people accumulate more and more, they become more and more distrustful of each other, and they have less and less confidence in each other, let alone happiness, it is often difficult for this marriage to go on.

It is difficult for second-married couples to be happy, in the final analysis, it is everyone's own reasons.

In fact, whether it is the first marriage or the second marriage, it is the same, if you want to be happy, you must be sincere to each other, you must not be suspicious of each other, and you must not have too much involvement with the past.

Happy marriages are mostly similar, but unhappy marriages are different. If a person does not know how to change himself, to give, to tolerate, and to cherish, then it is difficult to be happy no matter how many times he gets married.

Because of divorce, they are very sensitive to marital feelings, and they will have a sense of distrust of marriage, which can easily cause small conflicts and quarrel between the two parties.

Chinese in the traditional consciousness of marriage is to accompany each other for a lifetime, so subconsciously people's expectations for the second marriage are lower than the first marriage, and the second marriage will be discussed by the people around them, so the second marriage is difficult to be happy.

I think it's mainly because both people in the second marriage may have experienced a failed marriage. They don't dare to invest too much in their relationships, so it will be difficult for them to be happy.

Because of a failed marriage, this person is full of wariness of marriage, unwilling to pay enough trust and tolerance in married life, and is extremely sensitive to many things.

This can lead to a rift in the relationship between two people, and it will be so difficult for two people to move towards happiness.

People who are married for the second time have a defensive psychology about marriage, and they do not open their hearts to each other, so it is naturally difficult to be happy.

After experiencing a failed marriage, many people are very confused and very conflicted about their future love, eager to start a new love, but also afraid of repeating the mistakes of the past, worried about whether they can be happy in remarriage, and worried about being hurt again, so they hesitate, resulting in some good fate, so they miss it.

After having a failed relationship or marriage, once bitten by a snake, ten years afraid of the well rope, people's psychology began to become extremely fragile, and when they came into contact with feelings again, they often had palpitations, or doubts, and did not dare to invest rashly. So how should we adjust our mentality and correctly deal with the problem of re-love and remarriage?

As we all know, marriage depends on fate and personal efforts. As the saying goes, failure is the mother of success, and pain is sometimes wealth. On the whole, people who have experienced a failed marriage, although they will leave some shadows, but they will also learn a lot of lessons, accumulate valuable experience, and the concept of love and marriage has become more mature and realistic, and can treat the problem of remarriage with a more peaceful and tolerant attitude, so most remarried people, if they can properly deal with some of the remaining problems of their first marriage, they can still find the happiness and emotional belonging they desire, and those who are unhappy in remarriage are always a minority.

The success or failure of marriage lies in innate fate and acquired management, and the two complement each other and are indispensable. We have no choice but fate, but we rely on management, as long as we work hard, there will be corresponding harvests. Although the first marriage may be a failure, a second marriage can be blissful.

I wish there are lovers in the world who will eventually become married!