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Always angry and quarreling over small things, what kind of trivial things, is there a matter of principle, he apologizes to show that he can tolerate your temper, he cares that you don't want you to be angry.
But looking at your words, I feel that you are very dissatisfied with him in your heart, and you even have the idea of leaving, it seems that he is not the prince charming in your heart, and some of his actions that make you angry may not be acceptable to you at all, although it is a trivial matter.
Let's talk about the life of two people, marriage is the life of two people, just like a pot and a spoon, it is inevitable that there will be bumps and bumps, but the most important thing is to have two people understand and tolerate each other, if there is no understanding and tolerance, small things will become big things, so big that two people are separated, so you should think about it, are these things really unacceptable? Is it possible to live with him like this? If the answer is no, then as soon as possible, if you still want to be together, be more understanding and tolerant, so that each other has no edges and corners, so that you will not bump and hurt each other.
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The outlook on life is different from yours.
You think that's wrong, he thinks it's right, he just doesn't want to mess with you. He doesn't think he's doing something wrong.
There is also a kind of person who knows that he is wrong, but he does not change his life.
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After a year of marriage, I have a better understanding of my husband Jianjian's character, so let's make a summary:
Growing environment: Jianjian's original family parents are harmonious, the economy is poor, the second brother died of illness when he was young (three brothers in Jianjian's family), Jianjian worked since childhood, and after graduation, because of the sequelae of leg surgery when he was a child, plus other reasons, he worked a lot and experienced hardships in life.
Personality advantages: a big boy who loves life, gentle and diligent, thrifty, knows cold and hot, has filial piety, love, and loves to learn. Cons:
Sometimes it's naïve, a bit nagging and vain. We would be angry with each other, complaining, and disgusting each other, but he was my life-loving sweetheart, and I loved him very much.
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Considering the personality factors of two people, the relationship needs to be run-in before two people start to fall in love, they will naturally feel that each other is good at everything, and they will have the idea of wanting to be together. Especially sometimes what he does for you will move you, and you will regard him as your ideal partner as soon as your brain is hot. The first requirement of the relationship is that each other's personalities are suitable, and if the personalities don't get along, he may tolerate you at first, but after a long time, his true attitude will be exposed.
Your married life is prone to conflicts and quarrels, and it is difficult to maintain the sweetness of your relationship. Whether you have common interests or hobbies, and the topic of getting married is not a simple matter, you must think about your future. The days of life are very long, and if two people have no topics to talk about, they will seem very estranged, and their feelings will become weaker and weaker, and if there is a distance in their hearts, the marriage should end.
With someone who has the same hobbies as you, you can do things you like together, and you can talk together, even if two people sit there quietly, you won't feel embarrassed and can get along happily. Ask the opinions of both parents to ensure that the family is harmoniousMarriage is completely different from falling in love, falling in love only requires two people to love each other, and marriage is not just a matter of two people, family factors are also very important. Before getting married, it is important to fully understand the thoughts of both parents and lay a foundation for family harmony.
Now the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is very tense, and many women can't get along with their mother-in-law, which leads to family conflicts and makes men don't know how to solve them. Eventually everyone is physically and mentally exhausted, and you will want to escape from this unhappy marriage. Getting married is not a simple matter, and you have to think about your future.
The days of life are very long, and if two people have no topics to talk about, they will seem very estranged, and their feelings will become weaker and weaker, and if there is a distance in their hearts, the marriage should end. With someone who has the same hobbies as you, you can do things you like together, and you can talk together, even if two people sit there quietly, you won't feel embarrassed and can get along happily. Ask the opinions of both parents to ensure that the family is harmoniousMarriage is completely different from falling in love, falling in love only requires two people to love each other, and marriage is not just a matter of two people, family factors are also very important.
Before getting married, it is important to fully understand the thoughts of both parents and lay a harmonious foundation for the family. Now the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is very tense, and many women can't get along with their mother-in-law, which leads to family conflicts and makes men don't know how to solve them. Eventually everyone is physically and mentally exhausted, and you will want to escape from this unhappy marriage.
When two people start to fall in love, they will naturally feel that everything is good for each other, and they will have the idea of wanting to be together. Especially sometimes what he does for you will move you, and you will regard him as your ideal partner as soon as your brain is hot. The first requirement of the relationship is that each other's personalities are suitable, and if the personalities don't get along, he may tolerate you at first, but after a long time, his true attitude will be exposed.
It is easy to have spears and sails and quarrels in your married life, and it is difficult to maintain the sweetness of love. There are no common interests and hobbies, as well as topics.
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Large differences in personality are not necessarily a problem, perhaps this is complementary. The main thing is that the living habits should be synchronized, and there is no contradiction in diet and daily life.
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In this case, we have no choice but to compromise or divorce. Through your description, you can know that you and your husband are not the most suitable couple, because the personalities of the two people are not very compatible, and the philosophy of life is completely different. I think the main reason why you are still together is to maintain this stable marriage, not love.
You said that you don't want to divorce because of the relationship between your parents, and you are afraid that your parents will be hit, because your sister's marriage is not particularly happy. So your parents pinned their hopes for a happy marriage on you. And since your parents are civil servants, they also want you to marry a civil servant.
Now there are indeed many civil servants, and the good son-in-law in the hearts of parents, after all, has a stable salary, good working conditions, and high social status. These are external hard conditions. It does not mean that you can be happy if you marry a civil servant.
For example, your husband, who is a boring person, is unlikely to have that special feeling when you are with him.
If you can't change him, you can only change yourself. Try to adapt to his lifestyle, and after understanding him, maybe you won't find your husband very boring. He also has things that he himself finds interesting, and if you can have the same interests and hobbies, it will be more enjoyable and envious.
In any case, the husband has to talk about it, this marriage can be very stable, but it is very boring. It can also be stable and fun, mainly depending on how much you communicate.
I want to end this unhappy and depressing married life. Either reconcile with your husband, or divorce him and find another one. For now, there are only two ways to follow your heart.
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Even if you enter the temple of marriage, it means that everyone has nothing to talk about before, and they have been honest with each other, since they have loved, they can't completely show that their character is not suitable, if they are not suitable, they will be separated when they are in love, I think it should be that everyone does not have a good business for marriage, two people communicate more, everyone learns to empathize, do not have to argue when they disagree, discuss it, take the middle value of each other, in fact, temperament must be run in the period, and diligence is very important for marriage.
Slowly, once people reach middle age, they will understand the preciousness of taking care of each other. When I was studying, I would be very much in favor of everyone being a semicircle, and I would like to find a semicircle that fits most of the other half. At the beginning of meeting my husband, I felt that we were not two semicircles that fit together.
But now I'm more in favor of everyone being a circle, gradually incomplete, but constantly improving oneself in daily life and becoming more and more sound. So, wouldn't it be nice for two people to hold hands and roll forward with two balls?
The incompatibility of the personalities of two people in a marriage is due to the differences in each other's thoughts, core concepts, and ways of acting, and it is a greater form of expression of personality incompatibility if they cannot agree with each other. It is recommended that you be able to put yourself in the other party's perspective, and if you can connect, you can accommodate your husband and identify with him. Or according to your behavior and way of doing things, to confirm and interfere with him.
In fact, speaking reasonably, it is a very white dispute, and it is a great avoidance of personality incompatibility, and it is better to prove yourself with practical actions and influence others.
Enlarge the advantages of the other party, ignore the defects, do not care about trivial matters, think more about empathy, think more about your own shortcomings, your own method should be or wrong, the person who is married is with him for a lifetime, should pay more attention, the other party is in a happy mood, all aspects are good, and their own talents are stronger. The premise of a happy marriage is to find the right person, and the second is to debug the other party into what you want. Everyone expects to be appreciated, recognized, and accepted, and complaining and blaming can only produce damage, and no one can completely change the flaws, but they can infinitely magnify the advantages.
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If you love each other, you have to tolerate each other more, be more tolerant of each other, and think more about each other, so that you will change your mentality, and it will be more conducive to the feelings between two people.
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In fact, it is not necessary for two people to get along with each other, they must have a particularly compatible personality, as long as they can understand and respect each other.
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You can understand your husband's temper, understand your husband's true thoughts, communicate with your husband more often, find the best way for you to live in peace, and both parties will make changes to each other.
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Since you don't like your husband's temper and personality, I think you should make it clear to him.
Because marriage is for two people, it needs to be managed by both parties, if the other party's temper and personality are very strange, and you can't stand his temper and character, you must communicate with him well, let him know, your thoughts believe that if he is a sensible person, he will definitely get rid of those bad problems.
Although it is said that a person's temper and personality are difficult to change, especially adults, they will always be tempted to vent their bad temper to each other, but more people will regret it afterwards, why did they lose their temper just now.
Therefore, we all have to take into account each other's feelings, get rid of our bad habits, and show each other our good side, so that the love will last longer.
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You should make it clear to him. It is impossible for two parties in love not to have conflicts, and love is a process of mutual tolerance and tolerance. In this process, we need to communicate with each other, and we all need to see the strengths and weaknesses of each other.
If you feel uncomfortable because of the other person's shortcomings, you should explain it to them.
Communicate thoughts when he is emotionally relaxed. Many conflicts between couples occur because of a lack of communication, and if you think that you can solve the problem by doing nothing after reconciliation, you are likely to repeat the same mistakes in the future. Therefore, after reconciliation, it is necessary to communicate openly.
This kind of communication is conducive to the release of emotions and understanding each other's thoughts, which can reduce the occurrence of misunderstandings when faced with similar problems the next time.
When a person is in a bad mood, he needs a calm environment, you understand his personality, this time is not for you to endure, you may have to understand him more, give him a space, there is no need to deliberately make him happy, just do what you want to do.
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It should be, what is bad for the husband and wife, talk to him openly and honestly, the reason why there is such a situation is that he must be blinded by love during the love period, and such a problem is exposed when he gets married.
When you encounter such a problem, you must face it well, think about it, you are going to live a lifetime together, how can you be truly happy and relaxed with these dislikes in your heart, it will explode after a long time, it is better to talk about it now.
Even if he doesn't change much, you try to change as much as possible, and even if you can't walk together again one day, you won't have regrets in your heart.
So be brave enough to open your mouth, be coquettish, and then say what you want to say in your heart, maybe your husband likes you like this without scheming.
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Yes, both parties in the marriage should be honest with each other, and if they don't like it, they should be clearly pointed out, so that there is a solution.
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After the explanation, you will not feel distressed about his character and live a happy life.
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I don't like my husband's temperament and character, and it is necessary to explain it to my husband, I believe he will change.
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Yes, since they have become husbands, it means that the two of them are already planning to go to the future, and it is better to explain it.
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Yes, if you don't tell him that you don't like his temperament, he won't even have a chance to change.
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Yes, when two people are together, they influence each other.
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Yes, the husband and wife should be honest with each other, let him know, and he can correct it later.
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