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In view of the fact that my husband is an only child, I should also live together when I need to support the elderly in the future. When it comes to living with my mother-in-law, my principle is that I don't like it, I don't object to it, and I try my best to be friendly. For the way to get along with my mother-in-law, my principle is not to ask for things that do not belong to me, to know how to be content, to be grateful, and to tolerate each other.
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I basically only have to go back to my hometown for the New Year's holiday, at most I will live for a long time during the Spring Festival, and I can basically get along peacefully in these ten days, but to live with my mother-in-law for a long time, to be honest, I am not very willing, for many reasons, such as young people and the elderly have different lifestyles in life, such as you like to occasionally sleep lazily on weekends, and the elderly are not used to your behavior.
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I am now with my father-in-law who lives with my mother-in-law, and then my children also live with me, of course, my husband is not at home, come back once a year, because the profession is special! From my point of view, I would like to live with my mother-in-law, and of course if I had the financial means to buy another house, maybe I wouldn't have lived with them.
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Most of today's children are only children, and they have strong personalities since they were young, and they don't have a good interpersonal relationship and the ability to deal with contradictions. Besides, if you live together, you're worried about not being able to communicate, after all, it's not a generation, your mother-in-law is still an elder, and you don't have a topic to talk about, so it's not embarrassing to die, if you say the wrong thing and are counted down by your mother-in-law, aren't you looking for guilt?
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I am willing, because in this way we can take care of each other, the elderly can help us clean up the housework, and the children can also accompany the elderly to do their filial piety.
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I don't want to, because no matter how young and old get along, there will be more or less conflicts, and it is a bit awkward to live together.
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I think it depends on the situation, if there is really no place at home, it is okay to live with my mother-in-law, after all, they are all their own people.
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I don't want to live with my mother-in-law, distance will produce beauty, now many newlyweds always quarrel with their mother-in-law, because they have been living with their mother-in-law since they got married, so I am reluctant to live with my mother-in-law, it is too complicated to have more people.
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I was reluctant to do so, thinking that everyone had their own living space and that it would be better to live separately.
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I think it's better not to live together, it's okay to go home every once in a while, if you live together all the time, conflicts are inevitable.
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Yes, if you live together, you can let the child with your mother-in-law, and it will feel much easier.
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Yes, I believe that good communication will be able to handle the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and mother-in-law can also provide us with great help in life.
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I don't want to talk about this question, it should be ten out of ten people who say no, a hundred, a thousand who don't. Who wants the world of the two to be disturbed, I said before I got married that I would not live with my mother-in-law after marriage, because I am a person with low emotional intelligence, I must not be able to deal with this problem, sympathize with those who live with my mother-in-law, some mothers-in-law have high emotional intelligence, and it is still very good to live together.
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Needless to say, two people are married, who doesn't want to live in a world of two people, relaxed, sleep when you want, eat when you want, if you live with your mother-in-law, it must be not free, you can't sleep until the sun rises three poles, and if you are lazy and make a mess of the house, if your mother-in-law can't get used to it, the contradiction will come again.
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I live with my parents-in-law, and I have a sister-in-law who has just graduated! How so? Because we are a rural family and my husband is the only son, there is no option to live together.
Anyone who knows a little bit about the countryside knows this unwritten rule. Living together will naturally have friction, it depends on how to deal with it.
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Nowadays, many young people are reluctant to live with their parents after getting married, and I don't know what everyone thinks, but I think it's better to live separately. Young people have different lifestyles from old people, and it doesn't matter if they live with their parents, but their other half, she must not be used to suddenly walking into an unfamiliar environment. There will inevitably be stumbles in life, as younger generations, we can't compete with our elders, and after a long time, we will leave pimples in our hearts, and slowly there will be a distance from this family.
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Especially when the young couple quarreled, it wasn't a big deal, but once the in-laws intervened, the matter would be endless. Think about it from another angle, other girls are married to live with you, not to be angry with your family. What is the meaning of marriage?
It is to quit their own family and start a new family. Rather than forcing one party to fit into the other's family. Of course, it's not just because of these that we live separately, there are three reasons for this, and everyone will understand after reading it.
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01. Reduce the burden on parents. If you live with your parents, when you have a child, many families will usually bring the child to the elderly after the full moon. Originally, the parents are also old, and after the children get married, they should enjoy the blessings.
But in order to reduce your burden, not only do you have to work hard to take care of your children, but also add your own pension and pension to your children. If parents live on their own, they will have a lot of time to live their old age. They can square dance with their friends and go on a trip, which is what they should live.
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Each of us wants to have a happy married life, but after getting married, we will face a realistic choice, that is, whether we want to live with our parents-in-law after marriage. A satisfactory solution to this problem requires a comprehensive analysis on a case-by-case basis. Specifically, whether you can accept living with your parents-in-law after marriage depends on the relationship between yourself and your parents-in-law, whether you can adapt to each other's living habits, and whether you can have a relatively independent living space.
1. The relationship between yourself and your parents-in-law is the key to whether you can accept living with them.
After getting married, whether you can live with your parents-in-law and live in a green shed is the key factor in the relationship between yourself and them. This question is actually very easy to understand. Specifically, if you have a harmonious relationship with your parents-in-law, then there is no obstacle to living with them, and you can get a lot of care from them after marriage, which will be extremely beneficial to your happy life after marriage.
2. Whether the living habits can adapt to each other is an important factor in whether you can live with your parents-in-law after marriage.
An important factor that affects the life of living with my parents-in-law after marriage is whether they can adapt to each other's living habits. Because the age gap is very large, there must be a very big difference in the living habits between myself and my parents-in-law. If you don't fit in with each other in this area, it's hard to live together.
Only when they can adapt to each other's living habits and tolerate each other, can it be possible to live with their parents-in-law after marriage.
3. Whether you can have an independent living space is the decisive factor for whether you can live with your parents-in-law after marriage.
Even if you and your parents-in-law are in harmony and your living habits can adapt to each other, it cannot ensure the harmony and happiness of living together after the marriage. There is also a decisive factor in this, that is, whether you can have a relatively independent living space, so as to avoid your life being disturbed, and you can have a life that truly belongs to you. The ideal state is to live in the same building with your parents-in-law, but they each live in an independent house, so that they can take care of each other and maintain a relatively independent life, which is the most ideal, and they can definitely accept this kind of living state with their parents-in-law.
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Every family and relationship has different situations and expectations, so whether it is normal or not needs to be judged on a case-by-case basis. However, when discussing the mother-in-law relationship and companionship behavior, the following points are worth considering:
1.Mutual respect: Mutual respect is crucial when it comes to building a good relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Whether it's your boyfriend or his mom, you should respect your feelings and needs and understand what you are reasonable in asserting your personal boundaries.
2.Communication and negotiation: It is very important to have open and honest communication with your boyfriend. You can discuss your feelings and expectations for the relationship with him to find a balanced and mutually understanding solution.
3.Balancing personal needs: In any relationship, including the mother-in-law relationship, there is a need to balance the needs of the individual and others.
If you feel compelled to please his mother or don't have enough space and independence for time at home, then you can express your feelings and seek a common solution.
4.Understanding cultural differences: In some cultural contexts, there are specific expectations for mother-in-law relationships and family companionship. When dealing with this situation, it is possible to gain a deeper understanding and respect for each other's cultural differences and to seek mutually inclusive solutions.
Most importantly, maintain sincere and open communication on this issue. You and your boyfriend should work together to understand each other's needs and build a healthy relationship that balances the interests of both parties.
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As an unmarried woman, you hope to find a husband who loves you, and it is best to have a reasonable in-laws; As a mother-in-law, I hope to find a filial and sensible daughter-in-law, who not only takes good care of her son, but also obeys herself. Neither of these ideas is wrong, of course. However, once the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law make trouble, the husband who is caught in the middle will suffer.
Therefore, many families choose not to take their in-laws to live with them after marriage, but they inevitably appear unfilial, and they are said to have married a daughter-in-law and forgot their mother, how should they choose? Let's take a look at the lessons of the people who have come before, they are very thorough.
1. Look at the age of the mother-in-law.
If you get married early, your mother-in-law is not too old, and some people have become in-laws before they even reach retirement age, and they can take care of their own lives, so there is no need to move in together. In this way, not only can each person maintain the privacy of their own life, but also avoid many conflicts in life.
As long as you take your children back to your in-laws' house for a meal on Sundays and holidays, help them with housework, or travel with the whole family, you can not only enhance the relationship of the family, but also create a good family environment for the next generation, and teach them to know how to be filial to their parents.
Second, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are together, and conflicts are prone to occur.
Don't do moral kidnapping in the name of filial piety, and be sure to take your mother-in-law over to live with you. You must know that no matter how filial the daughter-in-law is and how reasonable the mother-in-law is, the two of them also grew up in different educational backgrounds, and their living habits are definitely different, and even the habits of doing housework are different.
Don't underestimate these details, thousands of miles of embankment destroyed in an anthill, living under one roof, how can there be no quarrels after a long time, how can there be no contradictions? Filial piety or not cannot be judged by whether or not you live with your mother-in-law, and do not breed unnecessary trouble for the sake of other people's opinions.
3. On the issue of children's education.
Now everyone is not in favor of intergenerational education, which is true, of course, their children still have to be educated by husband and wife. The educational philosophy of the two generations is inconsistent, generally parents will be stricter in the education of their children, while the older generation mostly loves their grandchildren and granddaughters, and some parents do not let their children eat and do things that they do not let their children do, but they can be secretly allowed in the gap between the elderly taking care of their children.
In this way, contradictions have arisen, but it is difficult for Qing officials to decide family affairs, and the contradictions are not clear. Another point is that after living together, the mother-in-law will generally take the initiative to apply to take care of the child, even if the two generations agree on the way of educating the child, the heavy work of caring for the child will also tire the mother-in-law, and the good body may also be sick due to overwork, which is simply more than worth the loss.
Young couples have their own life imitation celery, parents should also have their own life, dancing square dance, or going to the university for the elderly, going out with neighbors to chat, playing chess, like to go out can also take advantage of retirement to travel without incident, each living their own wonderful, such a life is healthy and tasteful. Loving children and respecting parents also requires keeping a distance from each other, not violating each other, respecting each other, and living their own wonderful lives.
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It's a complicated question.
If you can accept it, that's fine. After all, now that social pressure is so great, if both parties are single, then it is normal to live with their parents after marriage, and for parents, they also hope that their children can start a family.
However, if you can't accept it, then think carefully! After all, after getting married, you have to face a lot of practical problems.
First of all, there is the economic issue. Although young people are very busy with work now, as long as you have the heart and work hard, it is not difficult to earn a good income. So, in this case, you can completely bury your parents to come and live with you, so that you can also reduce your burden.
However, you should pay attention to one thing, that is, you must give all the savings of the family to your parents, because, only in this way, they will be relieved to take care of your life.
Second, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. I believe many people know that since ancient times, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has been a very difficult problem to deal with. As women, they especially want their husbands to be on their side, so when their mother-in-law has a conflict with them, they will feel wronged.
At this time, if you choose to complain to your husband, then he will think that you are hypocritical, and even think that you don't know the general situation. On the contrary, if you choose not to care about these things, but take the initiative to coax your mother-in-law, she may understand you, and even have some good feelings for you.
The third is married life. You know, marriage is the grave of love. Once you enter into marriage, the relationship between husband and wife can easily fade.
And at this time, if you don't have children, then your relationship may still last. But if you have children, there may be a lot of conflicts between you. For example, the education of the child, or the child's upbringing.
At this time, if you can't communicate well, then, the relationship between you is likely to break down. Of course, this is also a bad outcome. But if you can communicate well with your husband, perhaps, he will change his attitude towards you.
Fourth, it is disrespectful to elders. You know, we are taught from a young age to honor our parents and respect our elders. However, when you get married, you and your partner don't understand this truth, and even behave disrespectfully with your elders.
Just imagine, such a family, do you think it will have a good development?
I don't want to, fortunately I don't live together, and I come at two ends in three days, either to send this or to take that, and to come and talk endlessly.
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After marrying your husband, it is best not to live with your parents-in-law after giving birth to a child, even if you go out to rent a house, don't do it together, because there will be a lot of conflicts when you live together, and if you don't live together, the relationship will be better.
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