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When children are in adolescence, they are generally more rebellious, and at this time they often like to work against their parents. Therefore, for parents, how to get along better with adolescent children is a more difficult thing. After all, you can't know what your child is thinking, and he won't communicate with you.
So at this time, first of all, you must learn to respect your child's opinion. Because there are some parents who are always used to making decisions for their children, and never care about their children's opinions, but if you want to get along with your children better, then you have to listen to your children's opinions and see what he thinks about things, after all, the children have grown up, and they can't always make decisions for him, which makes him feel very unfree. And no matter how old the child is, as a parent, you must respect your child, because children also need to be respected, and they also have self-esteem in adolescence.
At the same time, as parents, you must lower your attitude and treat your children as friends. Rather than showing a condescending attitude when getting along with the child, it will make the child feel very dissatisfied. So if you want to communicate with your child, then you can think of yourself as your child's friend, and communicate with him calmly, instead of always yelling at your child impatiently.
Another point is not to help children do things under the slogan of doing things for the good of children, which is very disgusting to children. CauseBecause they have grown up, they have their own thoughts, and they want to have their own time or space to do what they want to do, so at this time, as parents, don't interfere too much in their children's affairs, and give him a certain amount of space and time.
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First of all, it is necessary to Zhong Zong's children's thoughts and wishes; secondly, do not interfere with and control children's thoughts and behaviors too much; Third, talk to the child more, understand the child's thoughts, if you do not agree with the child's statement, you can guide it appropriately, but you can't blame and criticize.
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It is normal for adolescent children to have a rebellious mentality, and parents should communicate more with school teachers to find problems in time, and then do a good job in family education, but also to provide more positive guidance.
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The more children in the rebellious period beat and scold, the more rebellious they become, if they don't pay attention, they are easy to go astray, be careful not to use radical language, communicate privately alone, or communicate slowly in a different environment, and correct it little by little.
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At this time, you should get along with your child like a friend, communicate more with your child and talk more, in this case, the two can communicate well, so that the child and you are intimate.
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If the child is disobedient, then there must be a change in his heart, at this time, you should lower your posture and communicate with each other in a friendly way like a friend, so that the child can accept you.
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You must communicate and reason with your child patiently and gently, and you must not be anxious or angry, which will make your child more rebellious.
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Put down the parents' shelves and learn to be friends with your children. In the rebellious period of children's youth, parents do not pay attention to their own attitudes, words and deeds, and it is easy to stand on the opposite side of each other. Therefore, to educate and guide children, we must first cultivate a sense of closeness, first adjust ourselves, change our thinking, try to be friends first with the mentality of friends, and give children a minimum of respect for their personality.
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Parents should try to be friends with such children, and then guide their children correctly by becoming friends. In this way, the child's disobedient and rebellious behavior can be changed.
Disobedience and rebellion are the most obvious signs for any adolescent child. But for any parent, it can be very stressful to deal with an adolescent child. Because as a parent, you have to give the right guidance to your adolescent child. <>
1. Try to be friends with your child.
If your child is in adolescence and behaves disobediently and rebelliously. Personally, I think that as a parent, you should try to be friends with your child, because for adolescent children, it will be closer to their own friends. And he is willing to share all his thoughts with his friends.
So I personally think that parents should try to become better friends with their adolescent children. <>
2. Give your child the right guidance.
After becoming friends with your child, you can use language to guide your child correctly, so that she can become obedient and not rebellious. And at the same time, you can also choose to make more correct guidance to your child through some hands-on demonstrations. Because this way of guidance can also make adolescent children become obedient and will not have a rebellious state.
Therefore, in general, it is more important to guide children correctly. <>
3. Be patient with your adolescent child.
For any parent, when it comes to seeing their children disobedient and rebellious. They are impatient in their hearts, because they feel that their children are not good, and they also think that they have no way to change this phenomenon. So as to create a great distance between yourself and the adolescent child.
So I personally think that in this case, in the face of adolescent children, as a parent, you must have patience. And through your own patience, let your child make relative changes.
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It is necessary to communicate with the child in a timely manner, understand his true inner thoughts, respect the child, give the child a free space, let him make his own choice, will not force the child, and take proper care of the child.
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Children in the rebellious period should communicate more, consider problems from the children's point of view, remember not to beat and scold children, and do not quarrel with children, especially in some relationships, schools, and classmates.
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I think it is necessary to give children good psychological counseling, and to be gentle with children's rebellious behaviors, not to lose their temper, and to comfort children.
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Chat with your child carefully, understand your child's thoughts, encourage your child more, accompany your child, and give your child love.
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Think carefully about your child's needs and respond to them carefully. Rushing to agree to a child's demands and remorseful can make the rebellious child angry and difficult to trust the parents. Some parents subconsciously deny it and then negotiate with their children, so that the children are opposed to their parents from the beginning.
The best thing to do is to tell your child that I want to think about it and then respond in a way that is acceptable to my child.
Carefully observe that the conversation ends in **. When parents have problems communicating with their children, children often keep their acne silent or argue violently, prompting a clear end to the conversation. Instead, parents can take a closer look at the connection points of the final break to think about what form of expression will trigger the child's resistance, so as to reduce the end of communication.
If a child is very angry when he hears his parents say that he has poor grades and is not working hard enough, it is very likely that he has tried hard, but the results are not good, and he is also very depressed.
Get to know your child anew and learn about his world. Parents usually pay too much attention to and urge their children to learn and train, and this kind of single communication cannot open the heartstrings of children. If you want your child to accept it, you should talk to your child about his life and what he likes to do.
Even if the child does not want to share, parents should apply the child to do what he likes to do, so as to truly understand his life situation. Change the original method of communication. Go deep with your child on an equal footing, grasp what communication methods make your child dissatisfied, and give feedback to make parents feel sad, and explore a new communication method together.
If the child feels that the father is always frowning when he speaks, he will get bored when dealing with the father. Dad may find his child rude and act more serious, and the conversation will escalate into conflict. However, if each other grasps each other's feelings and changes the way they communicate, differences can be prevented.
Talk to your child about ways to resolve conflicts. If you can't agree with your child on what you're looking for, try to talk to your child about what to do. For example, if a child has to go to a long distance from his classmates, parents are very likely to reflexively refuse.
If you ask them to ask for many issues such as safety, physical and mental health, etc., and let the child think about the measures for his parents to solve them with peace of mind, in the long run, he will also understand that he is thinking about himself. If your child doesn't want to communicate, don't worry, and don't get into another argument. If your relationship with your child is particularly strained, it is a sign that you are not fulfilling your responsibilities as a parent.
Set a moral bottom line for yourself: I won't do it one way or another. I often tell myself that this kind of "self-communication" method is very efficient.
Even if you have another argument with your child, don't feel guilty afterwards, improve their behavior again, and the conclusion will get better and better.
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You should listen to your child's ideas, don't work against your child, be sure to give your child your own care and love, cultivate your child's interests and hobbies, and don't put pressure on your child to study.
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You must be calm, you must learn to empathize, at this time, you must let your child understand your thoughts, and you must not blame your child excessively.
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I believe that parents must communicate with their children in a calm voice, and give them enough space to understand their children's true thoughts.
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Adolescent rebellion is a situation that every parent needs to encounter. 1. Lower your body and be friends with your child. Children don't like to communicate with their parents, often because their parents think that I am an authority, what I said is right, standing at a relative height, but the child does not eat this set at all, and he happens to be against authority at this time.
So parents need to put down their bodies and be friends with him and talk to him on an equal footing. 2. Respect children. Respect his thoughts and feelings, understand his feelings first, and then communicate, so that you can get twice the result with half the effort.
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I feel that I still have to communicate well with my children, and I can't be too upright with my parents, they all came from a young age, and they all have a rebellious period, and sometimes different ways of speaking have different effects on the handling of a thing.
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Every child wants to create their own space during adolescence and does not want their parents to interfere too much. But due to the traditional thinking of parents, it is wrong to think that children do not listen to their parents at this stage, so what should be done if adolescent children are rebellious?
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Parents should calm down their minds first, and then communicate with their children in a calm tone, so that children know that they need to focus on their studies at this time.
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Parents should learn to respect their children, learn to be friends with their children, listen to their children's needs, learn to encourage their children, praise their children, and properly affirm their children.
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As a parent, you must not criticize your child, but communicate well with your child to understand your child's inner thoughts and persuade them.
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In fact, during the critical period of 12-18 years old, parents need to interact and communicate with their children with strong awareness.
1. Communication needs to be attentive. In the process of interacting with their children, many parents have not yet begun to speak, and their children are basically reluctant to listen anymore. When parents don't know what their child's needs are at the time?
Always blindly express what they think, children will basically not continue to communicate, thus forming ineffective communication. In the process of speaking to their children, parents should feel their children's emotions and feel the real thoughts of their children, so as to understand their children. Adolescent children need to be understood very much, and when their hearts are understood by their parents, they are willing to truly open their hearts and express their inner emotions and needs.
2. Communicate by asking questions. When children are depressed, parents can interact with their children by asking questions. For example:
Baby, Mommy is unhappy when she sees you today, what happened? Can I talk to my mom? With this empathy, feel your child's emotions and interact with them in a receptive way.
If the child is reluctant to speak at this time, parents can choose to wait quietly, do not worry, and stay with the child. Let the child feel that no matter what kind of emotional state he is, having parents by his side will give the child an encouragement and strength.
3. Be honest and express your true thoughts. In the process of communicating with adolescent children, parents should remember to express falsely, and it is even more taboo to use "for the good of the child" as the beginning, so that the child is very disgusted. In the process of educating their children, many parents often say:
Parents are doing this for your good, you look at you, don't study hard, who are you worth? This kind of communication, for adolescent children, is ineffective. For this kind of communication language, it brings a sense of guilt to the child, making the child very disgusted and angry, and the feeling brought by this sentence is uncomfortable.
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Children are in adolescence, and the outdated way of education, especially the mandatory harsh, simple and rough paternalistic education, of course, will not work, and will only make the child's heart farther and farther away from his parents.
First, just take matters into account, and don't expand the problem. Many parents will compare their own childhood, or other people's children, to him. Some mothers will also take the trouble to tell their children's ears what they have done for their children, thinking that this can be exchanged for their children's understanding, so that their children can experience the difficulties of their parents, so as to change their personality.
Behavior. But most parents adopt this practice, not only does not solve the problem, but will make the child particularly rebellious and do not listen to the parents. Therefore, when encountering problems, just discuss the problem, do not expand the problem, and help the child analyze the problem and solve the problem, instead of hoping to get the child's sympathy, or hoping that the child can change on his own.
Second, give the child respect and make him very decent. Everyone is good at saving face, and adolescent children are especially good at saving face. Therefore, when a child makes a mistake, parents must not criticize him in public, but in a private place, alone, on the basis of respect, in the form of dialogue, and reason.
3. Those who are close to Zhu are red, and those who are close to ink are black。Adolescent children like to imitate, but their experience is still very shallow, so parents should guide their children correctly, and must create a healthy environment for their children, so that the people and things that children come into contact with are full of positive energy, so that children, even if parents do not teach, he will consciously follow the trend and do it, and basically do not have to worry that he will become bad.
Fourth, parents should lead by example. Parents usually ask their children not to do anything wrong, but do parents set an example? Isn't it teaching children not to do this, not to do that, while they are doing these things.
This kind of teaching method is particularly pale, if parents can play an exemplary role and use body movements to tell children what to do.
Fifth, do not blame when encountering problems, but encourage them。Children make mistakes, which is determined by their age and experience, and making mistakes is not terrible for the child, but it is a good thing to promote his growth. But how to make him recognize his mistakes and take the initiative to change.
This is a very technical way of education, when a child makes a mistake, let him recognize the mistake, not immediately blame, but encourage them to solve the problem and change the mistake. As parents, we also start from adolescence, think about what you don't like to do in adolescence, what you hate to listen to, and the most disgusting way of education, and I believe that parents will get the answer themselves.
Lower your identity, start from the topics he is interested in, treat him like a friend, remember not to teach him in the tone of his parents, not once, find the right time to talk again, as long as you have patience, you will always succeed.
It is normal for children to have rebellious feelings during adolescence, and parents should not just indulge them. You can't spoil your child for a long time, at this time you should give him the right direction in life, tell him not to do this, analyze the pros and cons for him, and let him recognize the reality.
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