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Hello. A person can't choose a family, and before you are seven years old, the family is relatively harmonious, and after the age of seven, in the constant quarrels of your parents, the family disintegrates, and since then you have a knot.
Maybe it's the quarrel between your parents, your mother and your grandfather, that makes you disappointed and fearful of your family, and then you become bored with your family, and this emotion keeps stacking. Plus your mother remarried, and again she was out of balance in constant quarrels. For a minor person, the negative emotions that arise are inevitable.
If your parents and grandfather could take care of your feelings, you wouldn't be bored with your family now. But at this point, I personally think that you can't regulate other people's emotions, you can adjust your own emotions. After all, we can't treat our family members and loved ones with resentment, blood is thicker than water.
Do your own thing first and make yourself stronger. Treat your family members right, try to help them as much as possible, and get out of that circle of resentment, and you will find that many things can become a passing cloud.
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I can see from your description that your childhood was unhappy, there was no warmth, growing up in a quarrelsome environment every day, so that you did not have a happy childhood, leaving a shadow on your heart, causing a bad mentality, family disharmony makes you brand a bad impression on every member of the family, so you are so annoying when you hear their voices now, you are complaining that they did not give you a warm family, I suggest you forget the past, adjust your mentality, and face your gray-haired parents, In fact, they are also regretting it now, but there is no way to remedy it, I hope you can forgive them, after all, they are their own relatives, and you have their blood in your body.
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That's because of family reasons, in your childhood, the family did not give you a warm environment, as a family did not take into account your growth, has been in a chaotic environment, so you resist them in your heart, you want to have a warm family, get along in harmony, but you don't, there is no joy in the young heart, only humiliation, so you resist them.
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In your childhood, the family did not give you a warm environment, as a family did not take into account your growth, and has been in a chaotic environment, so you resist them in your heart
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This is the reason for the family, which planted the seeds of hatred in the period of your childhood. Your family is not happy. Children who grew up in this noise.
I feel that my family is hateful. That's why I hate my family very much, because my family doesn't care about the feelings of the children and often quarrels in front of the children. Let the child go through a lot of pain.
That's what it means to hate family very much.
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Life is to live in contradictions, mother's life is very hard, often contradictions are from the economic aspect of the intensification, but do not exclude other aspects, you are also the age of adulthood, can feel the helplessness of the mother at that time, the conflict between father and mother is unavoidable, a person's marriage can not give everything smooth, it is inevitable that there will be quarrels and contradictions, a little more tolerance and understanding is easier said than done is not so simple, I hope you understand your family, stronger than outsiders, If you have difficulties, your family will help you more than outsiders, and it is your family who cares about you, so you must change your understanding, you can't go on as always, life is short, be happy in time, do good, and do filial piety.
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I understand your feelings, I can understand you, but now that you are 30 years old, your family is also old, only you can make this psychological shadow eliminate, trying to think about your family is not easy, because adults have adult pressure, in fact, no one wants to quarrel, everyone wants to go smoothly, think about the parents' dedication to us, slowly will understand the family, and then look at the books that can enhance positive energy, slowly let the psychological shadow disappear, forgive others is to let yourself go.
Helping people is the foundation of happiness, on the basis of not violating the law and not violating morality, secretly do your best to help people in need, you can get unexpected happiness, give people roses and have a lingering fragrance, you help others at the same time, you can also see the difficulty of others, increase love at the same time will also enhance positive energy.
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You may be relatively young at your age, and you may be a little rebellious. You have to remember that the person who can't cheat in the world is Mom. You have to communicate more with your mother and more with your father, and your siblings can often talk to each other.
You can't hate your family. There are a few people in the world who are genuinely good for you. Only the family members are really good for you and hope you are happy.
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After listening to your description, it doesn't feel like a big problem, as long as there is a little bit of it, you pay attention to it, and if you can fix it, you will be able to stop hating your family. As follows.
At least three times in the short details of the question, you show that you care a lot about other people's eyes. You think it's ridiculous, you think it's a legend in the village, you think the whole world can hear it. But if you put aside what you think other people think, do you think you will live happily?
Your childhood was happy, which means that your parents love each other, your father and your grandfather can get along well, and your family environment is good. Although your parents later divorced for the happiness of their own happy family, you still have a mother who dares to love and hate, an older brother who stands on the same front as you, and a grandfather, if you and your brother can live in peace with that uncle and love each other, maybe you have another stepfather who loves you and your brother, maybe your family will be as happy as in childhood. Even though you're 30 now, you still care a lot about what people think of your family.
It's really unnecessary, divorced families abound, and whoever is full of food will point fingers at whom.
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I can't choose which family I was born in, although I was born in such a family, I was really helpless, but this is also because of my own karma, and my good roots are too thin, so I have suffered from bitter retribution. It's not any one person's fault, it's the retribution of your family's common karma, everyone's world is created by themselves, what is sown is the good cause, what is obtained is the good world, what is sown is the evil cause, and what is obtained is the retribution of suffering. Including one's own body is repaid by karma, so resentment can only be blamed for the bad karma that oneself has created.
Now the only way to improve the reality is to chant the Buddha, and chanting the Buddha can change the karma, because Nam no Amitabha Buddha is all good and virtuous, and while reciting the Buddha and living at the same time, you also have to hope that your family can also be improved and no longer live a miserable life.
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It seems that your family has not been able to get along since childhood, and your own psychological feelings are relatively delicate and cannot be self-enlightened. You can find a psychiatrist to enlighten you and get out of such a psychological circle.
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From your question, I think there are two possibilities, one is your own inferiority complex. There is also a situation where you and your family have different styles or personalities.
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I feel very sorry for you, I want to hug you, poor baby, but, you are now 30 years old, you should overcome the obstacles in your heart, let yourself live well, let your little family live well, can no longer be like the kind of life you lived when you were a child, childhood life trauma Some people can't go through it for a lifetime, you must come on, otherwise your life will be ruined, and you can't let go of your family, care more about yourself, go home when you have something to do during the New Year, usually live your own life, you must change, come on!!
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Your childhood life is unfortunate so that you have not come out of your childhood life in the future, I hate my family, I hate the sound of their speech, it seems that your childhood life has a great impact on you, I suggest you see a psychiatrist.
Let the doctor enlighten you so that you can quickly adapt to your future life.
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I don't think you can choose your parents, or your family. But you can choose to change yourself! You can make yourself better and get out of such a family.
Then ask you. And you create a blissful whole. There are no so many bad families.
So I think people. At the hardest and hardest time, you need to look forward. Either you're there.
Fall into the abyss, or you'll get up and climb to the top.
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I think well, you will allow the opinions of the people in your family to be different from yours, so you should consider whether your own ideology is wrong? Therefore, it is necessary to correct one's own ideological concepts.
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The people in the family are the people closest to you, and it is possible that you have never left the family!
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Get away from them and live a good life.
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Then it depends on whether there is a problem.
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This is because it is not so much disgust with the person introduced by the family as it is disgusted with the interference of the family in one's own life.
Many times, we do not reject blind dates, but if our family is always forced to go on a blind date, we may be very disgusted with this matter, in fact, the blind date reflects the difference between us and our family in the concept of mate selection. There are many things in life that we and our families suggest at odds. This may be something that we all encountered when we were growing up, and whenever our family suggested it, we instinctively felt that it was wrong and wanted to refute it.
People are very different from each other in terms of way of thinking and growth environment, which will inevitably lead to misunderstandings in communication, and we can choose not to socialize with other people, but not with family members. They are family, and we need to grow with them, to find a place where we are all comfortable and where we care for each other but respect each other's way of life.
Whose family wants their children's families to be better, although their starting point is not wrong, but the relationship is not the person concerned, who can say it clearly? Falling in love is a matter of two people, and it is indeed very romantic to go out for a meal and a walk, but marriage is a matter of two families, and people from two families will definitely have conflicts and contradictions when they live together.
The most important thing is the object introduced by the family, although it is reliable, but it is generally the type that parents like, not the type they like, so it is difficult to succeed on a blind date. In its disgust with the introduction of the object of the family, it is better to find the object of their own free and convenient, they usually don't want to be too homely, more through some channels to know the opposite sex, now a lot of blind date software came into being, such as a companion marriage, matchmaker blind date, greatly ensure the safety of users, these software are single young people, my friend is through the single single.
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If you are disgusted that your family members introduce you to someone, it may be because you and your family members disagree and feel that they are forcing you. That's why you have such thoughts.
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I was also disgusted, and when my mother mentioned it, I was irritable and couldn't help but lose my temper. The difference is that I didn't want to find a boyfriend myself.
After reflecting on it, it may probably be because there will be a hint or reminder from the family introduction, "You can't afford to find a boyfriend, you are leftover, and you don't expect any development in your career and get ahead, hurry up and find a companion for this life".
When I was a child, I had a strict family education, and I always studied hard, and I also gave my family a long face and good grades. However, now the work is very average and not very smooth. But suddenly, the focus of the family changed. I feel so disappointed, not only for my family, but also for myself, especially for myself.
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The reason why you are very disgusted with family introductions is because you feel that what your family introduces is not what you want, so you will be particularly disgusted.
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Because many of the blind dates introduced by the family are shoehorned in by their own family satisfaction, they are not satisfied.
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When I was a child, I already thought that when I grew up, I had to find a marriage partner myself. When I grew up, I found it on my own, because I also hated being introduced.
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Summary. I hate my family because there is a generation gap between the two generations. It is an extremely fortunate thing to be able to become a family, so family members should know how to respect each other, understand each other, support each other, and complement each other to go through each day.
Why hate your own family.
I hate my family, maybe because there is a generation gap between the two rubber generations. It is an extremely fortunate thing to be able to become a family, so family members should know how to respect each other, understand each other's filial piety, support each other, and complement each other to go through every day.
Dear, is it convenient to talk about the specific situation?
Every time I do something, I feel very uncomfortable.
It's just disgusting, and I get annoyed when I see them doing things.
Is what they're doing right or wrong, or is what they're doing hurting you?
It didn't do me any harm.
I just see it and it's annoying, because it's patriarchal.
It doesn't matter if that's done for your good or not.
It has nothing to do with me. Got it, your family snubbed you.
In fact, people need to grow, and one day they need to be alone, and the current loneliness will always make you extraordinary.
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Family is always the closest person, and you hate your family because you are not mature enough.
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You can do this with your family who hate yourself:
1. If you really can't control your emotions, then try to have less direct contact to avoid hurting your parents because you can't control your emotions and regret it afterwards.
2. The starting point of parents is to make socks for the good of their children, but it is possible that the way of love is not right, or what you give is not what you want, but their nagging is also to hope that you are good, if you don't want them to be like this, then you can prove to them that you can live well! If you're really good, they don't have to worry about it, and they won't be nagging you anymore.
Changing others is a psychopath, and changing oneself is God. "You are getting better and better, and it will naturally affect the people around you and their attitude towards you.
3. When your mood stabilizes, you can calmly talk to your parents and talk about your heart. If you can't do it, then sort out the reasons why you are out of control after you are emotionally stable. Remember that although the family of origin has a great influence on a person, many choices are made by yourself, don't be an ostrich with your head buried in the sand, have the courage to face the storms of life, and try to be the master of your own life.
No one can beat you but yourself.
4. Read more books and study more to enrich yourself, keep yourself busy, don't think nonsense all day long, complain about others, when you have wisdom in your brain and a good fortune in your heart, you will be able to better understand your parents' "hate" and your own "impatience" Duan quietly, and you will no longer be entangled in these haves and nos.
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