What is our marriage, what is my marriage?

Li Jingmin, a legal expert in Henan, personally believes:

This is not a legal issue, more akin to a matter of I Ching research.

From a legal point of view, as long as both parties are in good health, have no close family relationship, and the man reaches the age of 22 and the woman reaches the age of 20, both are unmarried, and both agree to marry, they can get married.

However, if you want to make your marriage happy, it is indeed a big issue that you need to work on for the rest of your life. Generally speaking:

Whether the marriage is appropriate. It should be considered from the following aspects:

1. Natural conditions. For example, height, whether the appearance is a good match.

2. Economic status Whether the economic background of the two parties is comparable often affects the relationship between the couple after marriage. It is the so-called right family to be happy.

3. Look at the educational background. Whether the understanding of marriage and family between the two parties is close.

4. Whether the personality of the family members matches For example, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, the relationship between sister-in-law and sister-in-law is the most difficult to deal with. If a man goes to a woman's house, the woman must play the role of a husband and must not let the mother's family do anything disrespectful to her husband. Despite the kindness of the mother's family.

5. The life goals of both sides.

6. Whether the life of the husband and wife is harmonious.

7. Whether the taste requirements of both sides are accommodating.

8. Whether there is a third party waiting or entanglement between the two parties.

9. Whether there is a consensus on the views and etiquette of both parents.

10. Other issues that both parties consider sufficient to affect the relationship between the husband and wife.

In short, there is no marriage school in our country, if you really love each other, you can get married, in order to avoid future disputes and troubles, it is recommended that you receive training as a marriage master. Because there are many contents of marriage, such as responsibilities and risks, which cannot be discussed by law alone.

Li Jingmin, Legal Service Office of Shifo Town, Zhongyuan District, Zhengzhou City, wishes you happiness.

I wish you happiness, age is not a problem, the main thing is to love each other, thank you.

I remember that I once had mate selection conditions:1Don't look for local and foreign places, you can go far away, and you don't have to live with your in-laws, but you can live in a world of two people.

2.He loves me more than I love him. 3.

You have to have a bachelor's degree, have a stable income, have a higher salary than me, and you can do sales.

In fact, it seems that my mate selection requirements at that time were like choosing a commodity, not a lifelong partner, and my understanding of marriage was still very shallow, let alone mature, so sometimes half of my dissatisfaction with my husband was actually dissatisfied with myself.

Before marriage, I expected myself to be after marriage: I will still have my own job and income, I will not rely on my husband financially, I will form a family with my heart, run like a small warm nest, I will tolerate my husband's small shortcomings, I will appreciate him, support and encourage him. We will also expect our spouse to be a cheerful, positive, optimistic and responsible man, and we will share the housework and make progress together.

He is physically strong and strong at heart, and he can tolerate and accept my shortcomings. The expectation is that we both have things we like to do, including work, hobbies, and so on. The two sides have independent and free space, communicate and discuss everything, get along patiently and kindly, do not criticize each other, respect each other, understand, support, and cherish each other.

The self in the real marriage is:1Now I'm more accountant than I get, including housework, money.

2.When I'm busy and my spouse doesn't do anything, or even has to wait for me to do it, I automatically raise my emotions and judge him. 3.

I don't understand his mental activities, I can't give him proper understanding and care, and I don't have enough gentleness. 4.Rather stubborn and still doesn't admit his mistakes (what he says about me).

The husband in a real marriage is:1There is generalized anxiety, depressive temperament, negative and negative.

2.He thinks that he is not doing well, and you don't want to live well, black and white, and love to judge everything. 3.

Don't do housework and think that housework is all done by women 4When you encounter something that does not conform to you, you will judge, blame, complain, and be tired. 4.

They don't support my preferences, ridicule them, hinder them, and destroy them. My assessment of him is that of a single dog in marriage.

The real marriage mode is:1Spouses are self-centered, focused only on their own feelings, black and white, and perceive the pain of accepting other people's opinions, which almost crowds us with no space to interact.

2.Love to win and lose, often opposing 3My spouse often complains about the big and small needs, and often speaks with anger, which makes me feel aggrieved and powerless.

4.I often deal with it in a "none of my business" way.

My ideal marriage is very different from my real marriage, both marriages will exist in the brain, there will be comparisons, there will be unhappiness. Just like Mr. Tang said, whether a happy marriage is not about how lofty your ideals are, but whether you can settle down in your current life and accept that your current life is like this. Because the present moment cannot be deeply settled, the heart will be scattered and lost, and automation will take advantage of various emotional judgments to gain the upper hand.

Only when this heart is settled, can we see that marriage is actually a combination of karma, to collect debts and repay gratitude.