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At present, many parents are working outside, it is more common for the elderly to help bring the baby, the recognition and attention of the elderly to the baby is undoubted, not all the old people are suitable for the baby, if you meet the following three kinds of old people, Bao Bao Mom needs to think twice, carefully consider whether to let the old man help bring the baby.
The first should belong to the patriarchal thinking of the elderly, this kind of old people are very different from boys and girls, if the mother gives birth to a male baby, the old man is really a special spoiling when taking the baby, to the stars did not give the moon, the child cultivates an arrogant personality is a matter of time, the old saying "habitual son is like killing a child", no one wants to make their children disabled.
This kind of old people when facing the boy baby like a spring breeze warm, then in taking care of the girl will be as cold as the wind, the elderly in taking care of them may not be demanding, but will not be very careful, generally full of good care on the line, to the mother cross mentality to take care of the child, the little girls could have developed into a warm little padded jacket of the mother and father, but they were brought into a timid and cowardly "broken cotton wool".
The second type is the elderly who are overly thrifty, diligence and thrift are traditional Chinese virtues, but excessive thrift is scolding. Old people often think that children grow up fast, and they can just wear clothes and pants casually, but in short, they will not be able to wear them soon. Although children are not big, everyone has a love for beauty, and it is far more difficult for children with ill-fitting clothes to make friends than other children.
The most obvious feature of the elderly's thrift is that when eating, when the child happens to be tall, the daily tea and light rice only ensure that the child will not be hungry, but can not digest and absorb more nutrients, the lack of nutrition causes the child to grow stunted, or there are countless cases of not enough children, and I also know it in my heart.
The third is these old people who have little ambition and no ambition, maybe many people will say, not all old people have read books, and old people who have no ambition can't take children? This is not that these old people with low educational qualifications can't take children, but it is a reminder that Bao Ma should pay attention to the character and foresight of the elderly, and now most of the old people will feel that reading is useless, tired and tired to finish college, and the monthly salary is only a few thousand yuan, and the children who dropped out of high school next to them are at the same level, which is the idea of those old people who have no foresight.
For the layout of the small is to refer to those for the immediate interests of the small belly chicken intestines, love to take advantage of the small advantage of the elderly, such old people brought out of the children, especially small belly chicken intestines, when they grow up by the influence of such thoughts, often more than worth the loss, only care about the immediate interests, do not have a clear overall plan for their future, may also be greedy for small and cheap and can not make true friends, causing harm to the child for a lifetime.
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The old man who is very used to children, the old man who treats his children very much, the old man who has no ability to distinguish between right and wrong, and the old man who is very willful. An old man with a more irritable personality.
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I am afraid that the child will not have enough to eat, so I chase after feeding. It makes the child eat too much, causing obesity in the child, and even causing food accumulation.
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Without that, I have a big heart to play and like to say bad things about others, in this case, it is best to take care of my own children, otherwise it is easy to learn some bad things.
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A child is born like a clean sponge, absorbing what he comes into contact with. Before the age of six is the main part of the child's temperament, and the people who accompany him often have a very important danger to him. Although it is best for children to be built by their parents, but now that the financial burden is so big, young couples are busy working to earn money, and the task of bringing the baby falls on the elderly.
The old man wants to help bring the baby, this is definitely your blessing, but not all the old people are suitable for the baby, if the old man has many characteristics below, may bring bad children, parents or bring it themselves!
1. Love to use snacks to coax children.
They all feel that "next generation relatives", the old people all cherish their grandchildren, especially when their grandchildren cry and make trouble, it is also heartache. The child relies on his old man to cherish himself, and likes to use tricks to cry and make trouble to achieve success, such as crying when he wants to eat snacks, and crying to the old man to me. Long-term laissez-faire, children who eat too many snacks are not only easy to gain weight, but also affect the intake of staple foods, which is not beneficial to bone development.
2. Blindly follow the trend to protect children.
The old man really loves your child, but if you love too much, it will become pampered. Even if the child makes a mistake, the old man blindly follows the trend and protects him, and is reluctant to let the child suffer a little blame. In the long run, children will develop arrogant, domineering, irresponsible and other temperaments, not only unable to teach, but also easy to go astray.
3. Love to sow discord.
If the old man often sows discord in front of the child, saying that the person is not good today, and saying that these people are not good tomorrow, the child will listen to it, and then he will become a person who loves to chew the root of his tongue behind his back. In particular, some elderly people will go to the children's eyes to talk about the mother's gossip and adjust the father-son relationship, although it is very rare, and the mental damage to the children is relatively large.
Fourth, take advantage of the child with a child.
The elderly have the habit of frugality, which is normal, but if they like to take advantage of others everywhere, such as taking the child out and going out to buy fruits, they will secretly put a pocket for the child, this behavior will make the child develop a petty theft and take advantage of others, and it is necessary to communicate with the elderly in time to correct it.
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I think if an old man is selfish, very doting on children, and has no sense of responsibility.
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The elderly with a relatively low level of education, the elderly with a more paranoid personality, the elderly who are calculating, and the elderly who are childish, these old people are often easy to have a bad influence on their children.
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The careless old man's "big heart" is an advantage for young people, representing informality, but if it is put on the elderly, it is a disadvantage that makes people feel bad, because it represents a bunch of troubles coming one after another, including taking care of children.
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Blind calf care, likes to give children snacks, likes to show children cartoons, loves to take advantage of small advantages, and will spoil children.
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Nowadays, a large part of the elderly who help with children are highly educated and highly educated. They themselves have received very good cultural edification, and will have their own set of relatively scientific and reasonable parenting concepts, this kind of elderly people will be very measured when taking care of children, and can look at children rationally, and at the same time, they can also correctly guide children to develop good living and reading habits since childhood.
The most important thing is that this kind of old people, the general concept is very trendy, more good at learning, do not refuse new things, as long as you are on the right path, they can be pioneering and innovative, so in the hot issues of children's education, communication with parents will be more harmonious. If you have a relatively high level of artistic accomplishment in the elderly, the mother can rest assured that the child will be handed over to the elderly, which is equivalent to you to find a great teacher for the child, many excellent qualities on the back of the elderly are in line with the habits of life, and they must be transmitted to the child silently over time, which is the effect of leading by example.
If you have a cheerful and optimistic old man who is full of confidence in life, then please rest assured that the child will be handed over to him, and I firmly believe that under the guidance and edification of this old man, the child will grow up more cheerful and lively. People can still maintain confidence in their future life in old age, and this kind of old people are generally open-minded, especially in handling things, and never like some people who are open-mouthed and endless. No matter what problems you encounter, you can always calm down, maintain a rigorous mind, give yourself an indoor space for thinking, and leave some space for others.
This kind of old man can not only take care of the children, but also calmly deal with the problem of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, so that the family is more and more harmonious, and it can be said that it is a good blessing to have such an old man in the family.
Once I took my children to the park to play, I heard an old man complaining: I am still more than 70, and I have to help my daughter-in-law take care of grandchildren, there is no randomness, my neighbor next door is only in his 50s, and the couple go out to travel every day, which is really envious. Now my standard of living is getting better and better, and many elderly people are becoming more and more diverse in their later years, square dancing, playing cards, traveling with companions, these are more common ways of life for the elderly, so we are looking for help from the elderly, but also to consult the advice of the elderlyIf the elderly want to take children, love children in their hearts, then even if there are some hardships with children, the old people will feel happy, and see their grandchildren grow up day by day, and the old people will feel very good. Very happy.
Children will naturally have a good time when they experience the care of the elderly.
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A large part of the elderly who are now helping to take care of their children are highly educated and high-quality cultural people. They themselves have been well educated by culture, and they will also have their own set of relatively scientific parenting concepts, so the elderly will be very measured when taking care of children.
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Character is kind and happy, cheerful and optimistic, some mothers themselves do not have a high diploma, but the child graduated from a prestigious university, which is often inseparable from the mother's character, the mother may be the family atmosphere at that time, there is no chance to go to a good school.
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That's definitely not particularly eventful, but listening to the opinions of others, there will be no special feudalism, and there will be no patriarchy.
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Benefits of the elderly with a baby:
1.It can give parents time to work.
Just like many parents choose to go out to work, and then put their children at home for the elderly to help with it, there are many parents even if they have not left their hometowns, they will let the elderly help take care of the baby because of their busy work, so the first advantage of the elderly with the baby is that parents can work for time. If parents have been at home with their children, then it means that the pressure at home is very heavy, not only to worry about the expenses of the family, but also to worry about the various expenses of the children, so at this time the parents are very anxious, although let the old man with the baby, the parents will be very reluctant, but the old man with the baby means that the parents can have a better space for development, which is also an advantage of the elderly with the baby.
2.The elderly are more experienced with babies.
Compared with the novice parents who are in a hurry with their babies, the old people with their babies will seem calmer, which is also because of the experience brought out by the older generation. For the older generation, they have a lot of children, so in many cases they have their own experience with the baby, such as when to add clothes to the child, or what should be prepared when bathing the child, and what to do when the child cries at night.
Disadvantages of the elderly with a baby:
1.Over-indulgence of children.
Of course, the elderly with a baby is not all benefits, and the elderly with a baby will still have certain drawbacks. Because whether it is parents or the elderly, there is a certain amount of pampering for children, especially the elderly. "Next generation" means that the older generation will love children more, just like many netizens said, because the elderly can see from the children when their children are young, with the blessing of such a psychology, the old people will prefer children, so sometimes when parents educate their children, the elderly will always come out to obstruct, which deepens the awareness that children are not afraid of parents, and thus makes children more and more pampered.
2.Traditional parenting.
Although it is said that the elderly will be more experienced with babies, due to the different times, many times the parenting style of the elderly will be unacceptable to many parents, which is also a contradiction between the elderly and current parents. As mentioned above, although the older generation will have experience with the baby, but because the age is different, sometimes the elderly with the baby also like to use home remedies, for example, some old people will not choose to take the child to the hospital after the child has a fever, but want the child to drink a little plant ash, in the consciousness of many older generations they think that the plant ash can cure the disease, but compared with the current scientific parenting parents This is a taboo, so this is also a disadvantage of the elderly with a baby.
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Helping children take care of babies has become a habit of life for many elderly people. Of course, a family should help each other in such a harmonious way, which is conducive to the emotional exchange between family members. Moreover, the elderly help with the baby, which not only frees up time for young people to work, but also saves a lot of money for hiring a nanny.
Many old people give people the feeling that they are unkempt, especially when they get older, as if their living habits will be reduced. Therefore, I don't like to brush my teeth and rinse my mouth, take a shower, and even chew food to feed my children.
Since the elderly are in close contact with their children in the middle of taking care of their children, if they do not pay attention to hygiene, they are likely to have germs left in their bodies. Therefore, this kind of behavior can easily lead to the child's illness, because the child's resistance is really too weak, and the bacteria and viruses cannot be controlled at all.
In fact, what parents are most worried about is that the elderly spoil their children, and intergenerational parenting is the norm in many families, as if the elderly want to fill in all their guilt for their children on their grandchildren. Although the child's physical and mental health has not been harmed, spoiling will affect the child's psychology, especially becoming more and more selfish and unreasonable.
It is important to remember that physical health is just as important, and that with a healthy mind, children can develop a good temperament, and then understand that they are humble and courteous in their dealings with others, and that there will be no arrogance and pretentious behavior. It is very likely that the elderly feel that spoiling is a sign of loving their children, but they ignore these damages behind spoiling. I firmly believe that young parents dare not easily hand over their children to this kind of old man, because children who are spoiled and raised are likely to become unrecognized, and it is very easy to lose more than they lose in society in the future.
There is a kind of old man that people don't like, that is the kind that tells right and wrong, although there are no bad habits in life, but they always "hurt people with hidden arrows" behind them. In front of the child's mother, it is very likely that the old man is the same appearance, but in front of the child and the child's father, the old man habitually plays with right and wrong.
For such an old man, I firmly believe that many mothers are extremely disgusted, because we are talking about right and wrong, and we will have a relationship with our own family. Compared with other elderly people with bad habits, the elderly who tell right and wrong are the most headaches, because we never recognize our mistakes, and even feel that we are doing the right thing.
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