Why do you have to change everything when you are noisy?

The quarrel shows that the husband and wife are straightforward and sincere, and they can say what they are not satisfied with in person, and they are more intimate after the quarrel. If there is no quarrel, there may be a bigger crisis hidden behind it. This is indeed true, but why do some couples get closer and closer the more they quarrel, while others part ways after arguing?

The key is whether the husband and wife have mastered the art of quarrelling. In order to avoid constant quarrels, couples must do the following:

1) Don't exaggerate your feelings. There must be a reason for the quarrel, and the husband and wife who will quarrel will focus on the narrative of the matter in the process of quarreling, so that the other party knows their situation and needs. Couples who don't quarrel like to exaggerate that they are angry, and often use the most extreme adjectives to provoke each other, which only makes the argument worse.

The right thing to do is to calmly tell the truth of the matter, and don't add fuel to the description of your feelings.

2) Cold-to-heat. The key to this practice is that I don't listen to you if you argue. Specifically, when one party is emotional and can't control himself, let him get angry, let him jump like thunder, and ignore it.

A slap can't make a sound, a person argues, you can't quarrel, wait for the other party's emotions to calm down, and then slowly reason with the other party, the other party will be more acceptable.

3) Decorate the "confusion" and learn to refrain from it. For the small rights and wrongs in daily life, you don't have to be shrewd, you should pretend to be "confused" and be more careless. "If you can't bear it, you will make a big plan", learn to restrain yourself, and you will naturally not be able to quarrel.

4) Don't turn over old accounts. If anything happens between husband and wife, we should talk about it on a case-by-case basis, don't talk about it, don't mess around, and don't go over the old accounts of history, endlessly, otherwise they will quarrel constantly, break each other, and exhaust themselves.

5) Pay attention to proportions and don't overdo it. When there is a quarrel between husband and wife, they will inevitably hurt others, insult each other, and scold each other for any ugly words, which is extremely destructive to the relationship and marriage of husband and wife. Even if you can't help arguing, you must be measured when you speak, you can't say ruthless words, you can't laugh at the other party's shortcomings, and you can't scold recklessly and sparingly.

6) Don't blame the other person. Quarrels are a means of venting inner dissatisfaction, but in a quarrel, you should not blame the other party too much, because doing so will not only exacerbate the conflict, but also anger the other person and hurt the other person's self-esteem.

7) Avoid venting your anger. It's not good to hold back the anger in your stomach all the time, and venting it appropriately can regulate your emotions, but if you vent it wantonly, it will be difficult for the other party to accept. So, if you have something to say, don't vent your anger.

8) Be strict with the law and be lenient with others. This is an ancient precept for being a human being. This is true for friends and even more so for couples.

Human beings are advanced animals with feelings and thoughts. You are good to me, I am better to you; You have not done me well, but I am still lenient; You have shortcomings, and I will accept them. If husband and wife could do this, there would be no quarrels.