What really enlightened me was the antithesis thinking .

Enlightenment is nothing more than a change in the way of thinking.

Half a year ago, I was tormented by a relationship because I couldn't let go. Every day in my mind, I wonder how I can let go of the person who doesn't love me anymore? Why doesn't she love me anymore? Such problems are devastating.

At that time, I read Maugham's "The Moon and Sixpence", and after I read it quickly, I fell into a new problem, more precisely, the original emotional confusion was not solved, and then a new problem was derived, this new problem is, how did Strickland give up his family, give up the comfortable life of the middle class, give up the woman who loved him so much that he could even die for him, how did he give up, let go, even cold-blooded, ruthless, cruel and cruel, I don't understand how he did it, In fact, I envy him a little, envy his ruthlessness and freedom, unlike myself who is so entangled and trapped in pain that I can't let go.

During the epidemic, I watched the Harvard open class at station B, Taylor Ben-Shahar's "Positive Psychology", which was nearly 30 hours long, which gave me a new perspective and a new way of thinking. That is to learn to ask questions, or more accurately, to learn to ask questions quietly and correctly.

The questions we ask determine our focus, and our concerns determine the reality of our cognition.

Speaking of which, I reviewed the two questions in my heart, and I found that the question I asked, the focus of my attention, has always been the reality that I was dumped and abandoned, which was simply too pessimistic, too sad, and too self-doubting. And the problem of the tangled Strickland, my focus is on how he gave up, how he was ruthless. These concerns have caused me to have a lot of negative emotions.

So, I decided to turn these two questions into positive questions, that is, to ask the correct questions again.

So these two questions become:

When I asked the right questions again, I found that my focus was different, and my focus became that although I was given up in this relationship, I could rethink what kind of relationship I wanted.

Strickland gave up his life and everything around him in order to pursue his ideal of painting, and he was able to do it because he wanted to pursue what he really wanted. He knows very well that human time and energy are limited, just like a cup, take a liter and fill it with water, you can't hold anything else, so he knows that he should give up some things. He was able to give up everything around him only because he was going after his own moon.

Drawing a sense of accomplishment and happiness from the thing itself is the right way to think.