What is it like to meet an avoidant boyfriend? How to effectively change him?

It can be sad and sad to meet an avoidant boyfriend. At this time, you should tell them what you really think, find problems and solve them in time, and tell them that it is not right to run away when they encounter problems.

has an evasive boyfriend, and when he asks him about the future of the two people in the future, every time he is perfunctory, he will not be positive. If you want to change this kind of person, you should let your boyfriend know that he is sincere to him, and he cares about his thoughts very much, so that he can say whatever he thinks, so that he will not always rely on guessing to understand him.

The sense of experience will be very small, at this time you must encourage your boyfriend more, and you must always be by his side, and you have to experience a lot of things with him.

It's devastating. This is a problem with his personality, and the chances of successfully changing him are slim, so it is recommended to accept his personality.

1.The boyfriend indulges in reticency, only knows that something is going on, runs away, and pretends to be okay afterwards. If you mention it again, it will be endless, and it doesn't make sense.

The solution in your eyes is for both parties to talk about things, find a solution, and then yell at each other and get back together; The solution in his eyes is only five words: pretend it didn't happen. But you also know that contradictions that have not been properly resolved will accumulate in the bottom of your heart, and sooner or later they will erupt, and there is no room for redemption.

So, when you come up with the seemingly impossible choice "Should we break up?" ”。

2.But I can also tell you clearly: you don't have to break up.

At least before deciding whether to break up or not, try to change the status quo. The situation you described opened my eyes to several facts in him: not good at solving problems and not interested in solving problems.

When you ask him to "work harder", he is not more motivated, but thinks you will dislike him. I'm not going to stop your breakup. If you only focus on his superficial behavior, it is easy to be misunderstood.

His motivation is: he is lazy, doesn't care about your feelings, and doesn't want to change for you. He is not willing to plan for your future.

He is not afraid of losing you, and he will not be sad even if he breaks up. But if you think deeply about the essence, you will find that the above three points are actually cause and effect.

The motivation behind it is not as ruthless as it seems.

3.If your boyfriend runs away when she encounters something, is such a person worth marrying? Based on the preliminary judgment, your boyfriend has pathological personality disorder — "avoidant personality disorder."

Boyfriend is taciturn, doesn't like to communicate, avoids problems, should I break up? Avoidant personality in interpersonal relationships.

Performance? Avoidant personality, which already looks hateful. Because what they do is not only difficult to understand, but also easily misunderstood:

The passive party in the relationship will never take the initiative in something that he feels is "thankless", unless he believes that you like him very much, and he will never blame him.

4.Not brave enough, sensitive and shy, only seeking "stability" in everything, rarely breaking through oneself, fighting for it, often feeling boring and boring. Arguments and disagreements are avoided, but the temper is usually not small, and the temper is usually ** anger that he is incompetent in some way.

Low self-esteem, things will shrink back at the slightest challenge, and if you feel that you can't do well, you will simply run away. Be negative, always prepare for the worst, because this negativity discourages yourself and those around you. Extreme thoughts, then, you will find that, in fact, his real motivation for you probably:

He avoids arguing, stops communicating, and is indifferent to seeing you suffering, which is essentially a habitual avoidance.

5.If your boyfriend runs away when she encounters something, is such a person worth marrying? He had no intention of confronting the problem at all.

He feels troubled or miserable. This problem can only bring a bad emotional experience to both parties, so he chooses to run away. He tells himself that you don't like him, essentially just revealing what he thinks:

He is so unconfident in himself that even if you euphemistically present his expectations, his first reaction is not to improve, but to leave. To put it bluntly, he really thinks that it is you who abandon him, not just expecting and demanding.

It's very common for boyfriends to avoid dealing with problems, and most guys do, but this phenomenon is problematic. I believe that many girls want to escape when they find that their boyfriend has encountered something when they are in love, for example, two people are still arguing one second, and the boy is not talking the next second, and after a few hours, the boy comes to chat with the girl like a nobody. The girl is obviously still angry, but the boy has already started to plan what to eat next, which makes the girl feel particularly annoyed.

Maybe the boys think this is the most effective way to solve the problem, because it is the best way for them not to coax the girl. And they feel calm and calm, these things have passed, but in fact, things have not passed at all, but left a big pimple between the two people. In the future, the two parties may still quarrel after encountering the same problem, so when the boyfriend escapes, the girl can indeed choose to give the other party some time, let the other party calm down, and wait for the other party to calm down and then solve the problem reasonably with the other party.

Don't quarrel with the other party when they are impatient, but take effective communication with the other party after the other party has calmed down, so that the problems of the two people can be properly solved. Sometimes boys run away because they don't want to quarrel with girls and don't want to coax their girlfriends, so you can really give them some time to coax themselves first. <>

When the boy has no temper, the girl can achieve friendly communication with the other party, and tell the other party that she doesn't actually want to quarrel, but just wants to solve these problems, and if you don't solve it, the same problem may still occur in the future. Let the boyfriend understand the girl's thoughts, so that the other person knows how to solve the problem. Therefore, girls must be smart when they fall in love and find a reasonable solution, which will achieve more effective communication.

<> I believe that many people should have the same experience of this matter, that is, boyfriends always choose to avoid dealing with problems when they encounter them. Then many netizens asked: How to view the problem of boyfriend evasion? Is your boyfriend like that too?

In fact, I don't think it's a good practice for boyfriends to avoid dealing with problems. Especially when there are some problems in the relationship between two people, if you always choose to deal with the problem in an evasive way, then it is easy to cause a crack in the relationship between the two people and eventually end up in nothing, so in order to be able to deal with these problems better, the most important thing for us is to refuse to let the boyfriend avoid dealing with the problem.

I believe that in our daily lives, it is easy for us to experience some of the effects of boyfriends who avoid dealing with problems, and these effects are likely to cause serious harm to our lives. Especially when he mentions some mistakes that he may have, he has promised that he will make changes, but he will not be able to implement them better, but will tend to a grinding attitude, which is not a behavior that a person can accept immediately.

So in order to solve this problem fundamentally, the most important thing is to develop the habit of doing it immediately. In this way, we can better avoid his evasive attitude, even after the two sides quarrel, we don't choose to deal with some things according to his life rules, he chooses to escape, we often have to use a tough attitude to let him face these things, which can better solve these problems, and will not affect the feelings of both of us, this is a better way to solve the problem.

Therefore, when we encounter problems, we can only solve them together, so that we can better avoid the harm caused to us by the problems, and we can also better deal with these problems and grow together, right?

My boyfriend avoids the problem and doesn't solve the problem to show that he still doesn't love you enough, my boyfriend is not like this, my boyfriend usually solves the problem on the same day, and will not stay overnight.

In fact, when they evade, it shows that they have indeed done something wrong, but they are unwilling to admit it. My predecessor was like that, he liked to avoid problems, and I was so angry that I broke up with him.

I don't think it's the right way to deal with the problem, and it doesn't solve the problem at all, and my boyfriend is like that, but I communicate with the other person.

Boyfriends are always avoidant, which is not necessarily an avoidant personality, but let's think about it deeply, boyfriends and girlfriends must know their boyfriends best, and since girlfriends think that their boyfriends are avoidant personalities, then it must be like this. However, sometimes we have to understand why our boyfriend has this avoidant personality and then respond accordingly. <>

Boyfriends and girlfriends themselves have intimacy that we can't imagine, so girlfriends know their boyfriends the best, sinceGirls think that a boy is an avoidant personality, so he must be an avoidant personality, and we don't have to guess and doubt too much. We are all strangers, and we have no way to analyze whether a boy has an avoidant personality from his avoidant behavior, and this kind of question is only known to girls who are boys' girlfriends. <>

However, it's not enough to know that your boyfriend is an avoidant personality, we also need to know why he is in this way. If this is the result of the boyfriend's long-term precipitation, that is, caused by the environment, then we don't have to do too much investigation, we can bear it, and break up as soon as possible if we can't bear it; If the boy betrays the girl or violates morality, then the girl should say goodbye to the boy immediately, and there is no need to hesitate. Because it's not an avoidant personality, it's just running away from things!

In fact, it doesn't matter at all, what matters is whether the girl minds or whether the girl minds why the boy is in this situation. Many of our young men and women are actually more casual when making friends, and casual is not necessarily good, after all, sometimes feelings still need to be deliberate, and then it will be better to make a choice. Emotions are not trivial, but you still have to be cautious

Combining all of the above,Since girls think that boys always avoid being an avoidant personality, then he should be an avoidant personality, and these do not need to be explained by bystanders.

The fact that the boyfriend is always avoidant largely indicates that the boyfriend is an avoidant personality. If, in the course of your usual relationship, you can clearly feel that your boyfriend is deliberately alienating you, when you are away from him, he will suddenly be very kind to you. Such back-and-forth can easily lead to an emotional breakdown of the other party.

As a result, avoidant personalities can easily cause harm to others and themselves. <>

The avoidance of the avoidant personality is often manifested in: When encountering contradictions, they choose to escape instead of communicating, overemphasizing the sense of distance, unwilling to compromise, and indifferent so that the other party does not feel cared. In a relationship, he will not take the initiative to contact girls, will not take the initiative to ask girls out, and always refuse girls' invitations for various reasons.

Avoidant personality appears to be proud and inferior in relationships, and always does something that destroys feelings when they want a stable relationship. Avoidant personality, it is difficult to fully trust a person, they are afraid of getting hurt, overprotective of themselves. Always suspect that the other person does not love you enough, and are afraid of what to do if you love each other very much, in case you are abandoned.

In fact, avoidant personalities themselves don't know why they do these counterintuitive actions, and they only feel at ease when they do so. It is clear that the other person is the person you like, but once the person you like also likes you and expresses something to yourself, the avoidant personality tends to run away immediately. Avoidant personality, longing for the attention of others, but constantly denying oneself in one's heart, this inconsistent behavior is a kind of harm to oneself, and it has caused even more harm to those who like oneself.

The impression is always cold and unforgiving. <>

Avoidant personality is an emotional disorder that can be difficult to change. Avoidant personality is actually very insecure, and getting along with avoidant personality requires keeping a distance from them and not forcing them to do things. Help them recognize that their actions have caused some harm to others, and talk to them about their needs instead of working with them.

When encountering problems, if he always avoids solving them, it may have a great relationship with the other person's growth environment, or it is related to himself, you can ask him why he always likes to avoid problems? Let's hear what he thinks first. Then enlighten her again, the feelings are all mutually running-in, and only after making changes together will they go further.

Just because your boyfriend is always avoidant doesn't mean it's an avoidant personality, and you can find out why he's avoiding in advance. Depending on the cause, it can be judged whether it is an avoidant personality or not.

1. Afraid that he can't control his emotions to deal with the problem, he may not know how to face it. And in addition, it is for you and your friend, he may also be worried that he will not be able to control his emotions and scare you, so when he encounters something, he will choose to escape.

Second, I always can't get your understanding, I may have encountered problems when I got along with you before, and when I talked to you, I always couldn't get your understanding, and you didn't trust what I said, and not only failed to solve the problem, but also became the fuse of the problem, making the relationship stalemate. Therefore, he will choose to escape in the future. Maybe he's just avoiding you, which can't be said to be an avoidant personality.

3. The influence of the growth environment on people's personality traits is mainly due to the influence of nurture, and the family environment is particularly important. When he was a child, he often did not get the understanding of his parents, and when he encountered problems, he often chose to avoid them, and over time, as long as he encountered difficulties, he would solve them by avoidance. Manifestations like this are typical avoidant personalities.

Is it an avoidant personality? According to the different reasons, the problem of avoidance, she may just be for you, similar to this performance, strictly speaking, it does not belong to the avoidant personality, but if you encounter all problems, you are facing it in an avoidant way, which is a typical avoidant personality. As a girlfriend and an important person to him, you can try to help him get out of the current situation, which can be completely changed.