The Four Skills of Active Listening, What Are the Essentials of Listening Skills?

1.Eliminate external and internal distractions.

Some external and internal distractions are often the main factors that hinder listening, so eliminating distractions is the first way to improve listening skills. You have to pay full attention to the other person, so that you can understand what the other person said and didn't say, and you can better grasp the other person's body language and the true meaning of the other person's words by observing the other person.

2.Encourage the other person to speak first.

Being good at listening is a kind of cultivation that can only be formed after long-term training. People who are good listeners give the impression of being humble, studious, attentive, steady, honest and reliable. A good listener is able to give others plenty of space to speak about themselves and avoid misunderstandings.

Encouraging the other person to speak first can reduce the sense of competition in the conversation, and the speaker can concentrate on the main point without worrying about the pressure of competition, and do not have to be busy looking for excuses for his contradictions.

The other party presents his opinion first, and you have the opportunity to grasp the agreement between the two sides before expressing your own opinion. Listening can make the other person more receptive to your opinions and make it easier for you to convince the other person. People who are good listeners often have unexpected gains.

3.Use body language.

When we are talking to someone, even before we can speak, our inner feelings are clearly expressed through our body language. If your attitude is more closed or cold, the speaker will naturally pay special attention to his or her every move, and will have a sense of precaution and be less willing to open his heart. If you appear interested, it means that you are receptive to the other person, eager to understand the other person's ideas, and the person speaking will be encouraged. These body languages include:

A natural smile, no arms crossed, hands not on the face, leaning forward slightly, often looking into the other person's eyes and nodding.

4.Avoid interrupting others' conversations.

A person who often interrupts others is a person who is not good at listening to people, has an extreme personality, is not polite, and has a difficult time communicating with others. People who are good at listening to others will not interrupt the conversation because they want to emphasize some details, want to change the topic abruptly, want to correct some irrelevant parts of the other person's speech, or want to continue to finish a sentence that has just been said.

1. Maintain proper eye contact.

When listening, maintain appropriate eye contact, eye contact is a basic respect for others. Some people like to look at no one when they speak, although his original intention is not to despise the other party, but to others is uncomfortable, when others speak, you must not only listen with your ears, but also have eyes to pay attention, in order to encourage others to open their hearts, in order to say words that move each other.

2. Appropriate repetition.

After listening to what the other person is saying, it is best to summarize what the other person is saying and repeat it to the other person, so as to show that you are listening to the other person and thinking with him, so that the other person will feel that he has found a confidant and found a spiritual resonance.

3. Give appropriate feedback.

Listen in an appropriate way to give feedback, usually to encourage the other person to continue, by responding with something as simple as saying: Really? and other inquiry-style statements.

4. Listen to the end.

Some people think they have the ability to figure out the problem before someone else finishes speaking, but in fact, if you react too quickly, the other person will feel that the conversation is not opportunistic, and you risk missing the valuable information needed to find the best solution. Therefore, when listening, do not rush to conclusions, do not let your biases affect you, and accept the information fully and accurately.

Have you mastered the above four listening skills? In fact, we can also use body language, when listening, we can lean forward slightly, look at the other person, and show concern to the other person through body language such as nodding and smiling, so that the other party understands that you value his opinion, which requires us to eliminate distractions and pay attention to the content of the other person's speech, rather than evaluating the content of the speaker's speech, let alone rushing to express their own opinions.

In fact, the most important thing in active listening is to first be interested in the speaker's subject and the speaker, so that you can have a positive attitude in listening.

If the topic you listen to is a mysterious topic that you don't know, and it is also a resource that you want to understand comprehensively and get first-hand information, you will also actively listen.

Acting as a courtesy, or by example from an elder, will also allow you to listen actively and fully understand the content and emotion of the speaker's words.

For some things that you are not sure about, do not draw conclusions and judgments too early, but actively listen to the opinions and statements of others through everyone's story, and judge the correct solution from them, which is also the skill of active listening.

1. Focus

If you don't have the time, or for some other reason, you don't want to listen to someone, it's best to politely ask, "I'm sorry, I'd love to hear you, but I still have two things to do today." ”

If you don't really want to listen and you don't want to listen, or if you pretend to listen, you may unconsciously desert, such as listening while flipping through a book or doing something else and thinking about something else. Your actions cannot escape the eyes of the speaker, who is very dissatisfied with your carelessness. Let's put ourselves in their shoes, how do you feel about someone who ignores our conversation and is struggling to cope?

Listening may take us some time, but as mentioned earlier, listening is good for us and for others, as long as we schedule our time in advance, or as long as we have some free time, it is worth it for us to concentrate on listening to others.

2. Be patient

Wait or encourage the speaker to finish the sentence until they understand the full meaning. Some people's language may be a little scattered or confusing, and with enough patience, anyone can make things clear.

If you encounter unacceptable views, even intentionally sad words, you have to listen patiently. It is not necessary to agree with the other person's point of view, but it is possible to show understanding. Be sure to find a way to get the speaker to finish speaking, otherwise you won't be able to listen.

3. Get rid of bad habits4. Show understanding

Listening is generally done by listening quietly and carefully, with the face facing the speaker and looking into the speaker's eyes or gestures to understand the speaker's body-assisted language. At the same time, it is important to use short words such as "yes", "yes", etc., or nod and smile to show your understanding or empathy. Let the speaker know that you are listening carefully and that you understand.

If you don't understand something, you can ask the speaker to repeat it or explain it.

Behavioral know-how for listening skills.

1. Make eye contact.

How do you feel when the other person doesn't look at you when you speak? Most people interpret it as apathy or disinterest. Although you are only listening with your ears, others can tell if you are really listening by looking into your eyes.

2. Nod your head in approval at the right time, with appropriate facial expressions, and the listener who listens effectively will show interest in what they hear. A few non-verbal signals, a nod of agreement, an appropriate facial expression, paired with positive eye contact, can let the speaker know that you are listening.

3. Don't make distracting gestures and gestures.

Try to avoid actions that make it feel like your mind is wandering, so that the speaker knows that you are really listening. When listening, don't do the following: looking at your watch all the time, absent-mindedly flipping through files, scribbling with a pen in your hand, these actions can make the speaker feel that you are bored, uninterested in the topic, and more importantly, it shows that you are not paying attention and therefore is likely to miss some valid information from the speaker.

4。A critical listener analyzes what he or she hears and asks questions.

After getting married, two people always use their keen hearts to gain insight into each other's inner world. So as to get to know each other better. Marriage is not idealism, but realism, and there are many problems. Of course, conflicts are also inevitable in marriage.

The following methods teach you to be a good listening angel.

Make good use of body language. In the process of listening, not only the ears are the participants, but also your heart, your eyes, and your body are all listeners. If you want to be a good listener, you need to pay attention to the cooperation of body language.

When listening to others, the most important thing is to look around. Look into the other person's eyes, make eye contact, and use your eyes to express your attention and enthusiasm for the other person. If you're not used to looking people in the eye, at least put your gaze between their eyebrows and eyes to give them a sense of attention.

Be sure to learn to use emoticons when listening. Expressions are also barometers of your attitude, a calm and natural expression, the occasional flash of a smile or frown, the appropriate joy or surprise, are all silent and effective language.

Leaning forward is positive body language, which indicates that you want to communicate with the other person and that you are willing to listen to the other person's conversation. During the conversation, gestures can be used appropriately. Nod your head at the right time to show understanding or affirmation, and encourage the other person to keep talking.

If necessary, write down the key points of the conversation on paper.

All eyes and ears. When a person is truly engrossed, his body language can actively match his heart and match the content of the other person's conversation. Therefore, when listening, you must be patient and really have the desire to listen from your heart.

Otherwise, all the expressions become performances and will not solve the problem.

For young people, the most painful thing is probably falling out of love. Xiaolian recently broke up with her boyfriend, and she always looked depressed, and she didn't say a word all day long. Classmate Xiao Chen saw it in his eyes and was anxious in his heart, and always greeted her with concern when he met her, and cast a warm look at her.

One day, Xiaolian greeted Xiao Chen and asked, "Do you have time to walk with me?" Xiao Chen knew about Xiaolian and readily agreed.

Xiaolian began to recall her past, and said slowly, saying a lot. Xiao Chen listened quietly, did not interject or interrupt, nodded from time to time, and looked at Xiaolian's eyes always very sincerely. Xiaolian couldn't help crying when she talked about her sadness.

Xiao Chen gently took Xiaolian's hand, patted her shoulder and said, "It's okay, just say it." Let it pass, don't worry too much!

Throughout the afternoon, Xiao Chen stayed by Xiaolian's side, patiently listening to her stories about the past. During this period, Xiao Chen only said a few complete words in total. But when the two said goodbye, Xiaolian was obviously not so melancholy.

After this walk, Xiaolian quickly came out of the shadow of broken love and regarded Xiao Chen as a good friend.

When someone needs to talk to them most, all we need to do is listen patiently and attentively, which is far better than admonishing them at length.

[Upward Communication 1] 5 listening skills that make it possible for you to talk to anyone.

Listen carefully and look at each other, without interrupting, and show agreement.

Listening skills include: listening, focusing, and engaging.

1. Listen attentively. Listening is the process of conveying a message to the other person through verbal and non-verbal behaviors—"I'm listening to your narrative with great interest and trying to understand you." "2. Listen to understand.

Listening in counseling is not only about understanding the situation, but also about building a counseling relationship and encouraging the other person to be more open. It is also the counselor who is able to understand the client's situation better. 3. Listen and participate.

When listening, it is not only necessary to "listen", but also to "participate". That is, when interacting with the other person, respond appropriately to his narrative. Responses can be both verbal and non-verbal.

Listening is an important interpersonal skill, and learning to listen can also help other interpersonal relationships around you. Interpersonal norms are also important. Interpersonal communication is very detail-oriented.

1. Will you listen? Talk about the listening skills you've learned. (at least 3 points) 2. After communicating with your classmates and parents, if there is still no agreement, how will you deal with it?

Xiao Ming has been distressed lately. Because mom is always busy, I don't have time to talk to her or listen to her thoughts. Xiao Ming wanted to learn this aspect of the content.

Tomorrow I'm going to have a conversation with P-p. I want to do this:

Find a quiet environment to facilitate conversations. Then, talk about P's recent work performance, 1. Retell: Directly restate the other party's original words. If Xiao P says, I feel like I've been doing well lately, then repeat the other party's original words once.

2. Retelling: Repeating the content or meaning of the other party in your own words.

For example, the other person says, "I feel okay." You can say, "You said you felt okay." ”

3. Brief description: do not change the meaning of the other party's expression, and briefly describe the other party's expression.

For example, the other person says, "I have my own ideas for some work. You say, "You have your own ideas about certain tasks." ”

4. Awareness and perception: express the core content while perceiving the beliefs, values, emotions, etc. behind the other party's content.

For example, the person says, "I like to work freely." You respond, "Do you feel that freedom is very important?" ”

5. Make connections: Empathize with the other person through self-expression.

Tell the other person: "I also love freedom and want to be free. ”

6. "Three nos": "no judgment", "no criticism" and "no attachment" in the process of listening.

For example, when the other person is making their own point of view, you can establish a cohesive atmosphere of communication by simply saying "um", "oh", "or more?" And then what? In response.

7. Explore potential: In the process of communication, see the valuable potential of the other party.

For example, you hear the other party tell you: Actually, I am very serious about the work assigned by the leader. You should notice that this person has a positive mindset.

8. Pay attention to non-vertical language signals: In addition to the language itself, you should pay attention to the other party's speech speed, intonation, body language, expression and other non-verbal signals, so as to perceive the essential needs of the other party.