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Listening skills include: listening, focusing, and engaging.
1. Listen attentively. Listening is the process of conveying a message to the other person through verbal and non-verbal behaviors—"I'm listening to your narrative with great interest and trying to understand you." "2. Listen to understand.
Listening in counseling is not only about understanding the situation, but also about building a counseling relationship and encouraging the other person to be more open. It is also the counselor who is able to understand the client's situation better. 3. Listen and participate.
When listening, it is not only necessary to "listen", but also to "participate". That is, when interacting with the other person, respond appropriately to his narrative. Responses can be both verbal and non-verbal.
Listening is an important interpersonal skill, and learning to listen can also help other interpersonal relationships around you. Interpersonal norms are also important. Interpersonal communication is very detail-oriented.
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1. Focus
If you don't have the time, or for some other reason, you don't want to listen to someone, it's best to politely ask, "I'm sorry, I'd love to hear you, but I still have two things to do today." ”
If you don't really want to listen and you don't want to listen, or if you pretend to listen, you may unconsciously desert, such as listening while flipping through a book or doing something else and thinking about something else. Your actions cannot escape the eyes of the speaker, who is very dissatisfied with your carelessness. Let's put ourselves in their shoes, how do you feel about someone who ignores our conversation and is struggling to cope?
Listening may take us some time, but as mentioned earlier, listening is good for us and for others, as long as we schedule our time in advance, or as long as we have some free time, it is worth it for us to concentrate on listening to others.
2. Be patient
Wait or encourage the speaker to finish the sentence until they understand the full meaning. Some people's language may be a little scattered or confusing, and with enough patience, anyone can make things clear.
If you encounter unacceptable views, even intentionally sad words, you have to listen patiently. It is not necessary to agree with the other person's point of view, but it is possible to show understanding. Be sure to find a way to get the speaker to finish speaking, otherwise you won't be able to listen.
3. Get rid of bad habits4. Show understanding
Listening is generally done by listening quietly and carefully, with the face facing the speaker and looking into the speaker's eyes or gestures to understand the speaker's body-assisted language. At the same time, it is important to use short words such as "yes", "yes", etc., or nod and smile to show your understanding or empathy. Let the speaker know that you are listening carefully and that you understand.
If you don't understand something, you can ask the speaker to repeat it or explain it.
Behavioral know-how for listening skills.
1. Make eye contact.
How do you feel when the other person doesn't look at you when you speak? Most people interpret it as apathy or disinterest. Although you are only listening with your ears, others can tell if you are really listening by looking into your eyes.
2. Nod your head in approval at the right time, with appropriate facial expressions, and the listener who listens effectively will show interest in what they hear. A few non-verbal signals, a nod of agreement, an appropriate facial expression, paired with positive eye contact, can let the speaker know that you are listening.
3. Don't make distracting gestures and gestures.
Try to avoid actions that make it feel like your mind is wandering, so that the speaker knows that you are really listening. When listening, don't do the following: looking at your watch all the time, absent-mindedly flipping through files, scribbling with a pen in your hand, these actions can make the speaker feel that you are bored, uninterested in the topic, and more importantly, it shows that you are not paying attention and therefore is likely to miss some valid information from the speaker.
4。A critical listener analyzes what he or she hears and asks questions.
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After getting married, two people always use their keen hearts to gain insight into each other's inner world. So as to get to know each other better. Marriage is not idealism, but realism, and there are many problems. Of course, conflicts are also inevitable in marriage.
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The following methods teach you to be a good listening angel.
Make good use of body language. In the process of listening, not only the ears are the participants, but also your heart, your eyes, and your body are all listeners. If you want to be a good listener, you need to pay attention to the cooperation of body language.
When listening to others, the most important thing is to look around. Look into the other person's eyes, make eye contact, and use your eyes to express your attention and enthusiasm for the other person. If you're not used to looking people in the eye, at least put your gaze between their eyebrows and eyes to give them a sense of attention.
Be sure to learn to use emoticons when listening. Expressions are also barometers of your attitude, a calm and natural expression, the occasional flash of a smile or frown, the appropriate joy or surprise, are all silent and effective language.
Leaning forward is positive body language, which indicates that you want to communicate with the other person and that you are willing to listen to the other person's conversation. During the conversation, gestures can be used appropriately. Nod your head at the right time to show understanding or affirmation, and encourage the other person to keep talking.
If necessary, write down the key points of the conversation on paper.
All eyes and ears. When a person is truly engrossed, his body language can actively match his heart and match the content of the other person's conversation. Therefore, when listening, you must be patient and really have the desire to listen from your heart.
Otherwise, all the expressions become performances and will not solve the problem.
For young people, the most painful thing is probably falling out of love. Xiaolian recently broke up with her boyfriend, and she always looked depressed, and she didn't say a word all day long. Classmate Xiao Chen saw it in his eyes and was anxious in his heart, and always greeted her with concern when he met her, and cast a warm look at her.
One day, Xiaolian greeted Xiao Chen and asked, "Do you have time to walk with me?" Xiao Chen knew about Xiaolian and readily agreed.
Xiaolian began to recall her past, and said slowly, saying a lot. Xiao Chen listened quietly, did not interject or interrupt, nodded from time to time, and looked at Xiaolian's eyes always very sincerely. Xiaolian couldn't help crying when she talked about her sadness.
Xiao Chen gently took Xiaolian's hand, patted her shoulder and said, "It's okay, just say it." Let it pass, don't worry too much!
Throughout the afternoon, Xiao Chen stayed by Xiaolian's side, patiently listening to her stories about the past. During this period, Xiao Chen only said a few complete words in total. But when the two said goodbye, Xiaolian was obviously not so melancholy.
After this walk, Xiaolian quickly came out of the shadow of broken love and regarded Xiao Chen as a good friend.
When someone needs to talk to them most, all we need to do is listen patiently and attentively, which is far better than admonishing them at length.
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[Upward Communication 1] 5 listening skills that make it possible for you to talk to anyone.
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Listen carefully and look at each other, without interrupting, and show agreement.
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1. Will you listen? Talk about the listening skills you've learned. (at least 3 points) 2. After communicating with your classmates and parents, if there is still no agreement, how will you deal with it?
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Maintain the correct posture, relax, lean forward slightly, have a natural expression, smile, look into the eyes of the interlocutor, avoid blinking, nodding, stretching the neck and other small movements, appropriate gestures can strengthen the effect of the speaker's expression, but pay attention to the occasion, place and time. When the obedient person is expressing, try not to interrupt the other party, let the other party finish speaking, do not rush to correct the other party, so as not to make the other party disgusted, or provoke the other party, to be patient, serious, listen carefully to the other party's words, and make necessary responses. When expressing your opinion, be brief and concise, and pay attention to the listener's reaction.
Listen attentively as you listen to the other person.
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(1) One of the skills of effective listening: give the speaker a signal at the right time. A good listener doesn't just nod his head blindly, but gives corresponding gestures according to the topic of the conversation.
During the listening process, be sure to give the speaker an appropriate cue. Even if it's a word or an action, a nod or a smile, it not only shows that you are listening, but also that you are listening very carefully, which is understanding and respect for the speaker. This kind of gesture can make the other person feel your affirmation and encouragement.
At the same time, when communicating with people, you should look at the other person, but be careful not to stare directly into the other person's eyes, which will often make people feel aggressive. The way to do this is to look at the tip of the nose or forehead with your eyes, so that the other person will feel that your eyes are softer.
2) Skill 2 for effective listening: Concentrate your attention. When listening, don't think about anything else, look at the other person, pay attention to the main point of the other person's conversation at all times, and encourage the other person to continue by nodding or gesturing when the other person is in the middle of the conversation, so that he knows that you are listening.
If you really don't have the time or for some other reason to listen to someone, just ask: "I'm sorry, I'd love to hear from you, but there are two things that need to be dealt with right today." At this time, under normal circumstances, you can get the other party's understanding, if you think about other things in your heart and listen to others absent-mindedly, the other party will think that you are perfunctory, but will be dissatisfied with you.
3) Skill 3 for effective listening: Don't interrupt others easily. Many people are not good at self-enlightenment when they encounter problems, and they are always willing to confide their troubles to their friends.
At this time, when you are listening to him, be more patient, give the other person enough understanding, encourage the other person to continue, and believe that the other party will be grateful to you.
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1.Make full use of open-ended questioning When listening, it is common to use words such as "what", "how", and "why" to ask questions, so that the client can respond in detail to relevant questions and events, which is called open-ended questioning, which will lead to a detailed explanation of certain questions, thoughts, emotions, etc. When using open-ended questioning, it should be important to build it on a good counseling relationship, and only if the client trusts the counsellor will he answer more when asking questions.
In addition, pay attention to the way and tone of the question, and not be too blunt or casual. 2.Appropriate use of closed-ended questions?
This type of question is characterized by asking the client to answer the question with words such as "yes", "yes", "yes", "yes", "yes", Counselors use this kind of closed-ended questioning to gather information, clarify the truth, verify conclusions and speculations, narrow down the discussion, suspend the narrative appropriately, and so on.
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1. Look at the person speaking. When the other party is speaking, look at the other person, indicating that you respect the other person, listen carefully to what he is saying, and never look around and be absent-minded and impolite.
2. Smile and nod appropriately. Listen carefully to the other person's speech, keep a slight smile, and occasionally nod your head, so that the other party can feel that you are interested in the topic, agree with the other party's point of view, resonate in the mental hints, and effectively stimulate the other party's enthusiasm for speaking.
3. Ask questions in a timely manner. In the process of listening to the other party's speech, listen to the content accurately, see the right time, and ask the other party some relevant questions in a timely manner, so that the other party has a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction, so that you can gain more trust from the other party.
Fourth, don't just interject. Interrupting others at will is an act of impoliteness to others. By interrupting someone, you will not be able to listen to the full message they are trying to say, and you will eventually become persona non grata.
Fifth, accept the other party's words. For example: "As you say ... There is some truth to what you say ... I agree with you ... and so on, not only to give a positive response to the other party, but also to undertake the content of the conversation, to create a warm atmosphere of conversation.
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