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1. From a psychological point of view.
After all, you can't do whatever you want at your mother-in-law's house. You can eat when you want, and sleep when you want. When I arrived at my mother-in-law's house, my husband was really comfortable, let go of myself, reunite with my parents and relatives, and have fun, sometimes my daughter-in-law was really difficult to fit in, like an outsider.
Even if the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is usually good, the daughter-in-law sometimes feels that it is not easy and convenient in her own home, so from the bottom of her heart, she has the idea of not wanting to go back to her mother-in-law's house for the New Year. If the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not good, pinch as soon as they meet. In order to avoid an unhappy New Year, in order not to embarrass their husbands in the middle, they are even more reluctant to go back to their mother-in-law's house.
Some people feel that they have worked hard for a year and finally have a few days of New Year's holidays. They want to rest and do something they love. If they go back to their mother-in-law's house for the New Year, their plans will fall through, so they don't want to go back.
More people are worried that they will go back to their mother-in-law's house with their husbands for the New Year, and their parents will not accompany them. This is mainly reflected in the post-80s and post-90s single-child families, both of whom have parents and also need to be taken care of. If I go to my mother-in-law's house with my husband for the New Year, the house will be deserted, so I don't want to go to my mother-in-law's house for the New Year.
2.From the point of view of the world.
Returning to my mother-in-law's house for the New Year is a lot of entertainment. Visiting relatives and friends is essential. It's hard to go home.
It is necessary to give New Year's greetings to friends and family. Except for the Chinese New Year's Eve, many people eat at home, and the rest of the days are hospitable, accepting invitations from relatives and friends. Every day family gatherings, friends gatherings, eating, drinking and having fun, always accompanied by a smiling face, everywhere to maintain the image of a good daughter-in-law, often the daughter-in-law feels very tired, so she does not want to go back to her mother-in-law's house for the New Year.
3.Analysis from objective factors of reality.
Husbands and wives have lived in different environments since childhood, including differences in region, climate, and folk customs, differences in diet, life, and behavioral habits, and differences in the way family members get along. Therefore, many daughters-in-law do not adapt to their mother-in-law's Spring Festival. If the daughter-in-law is a southerner and goes to the north for the Spring Festival, it is difficult to adapt to the winter weather in the north.
The daughter-in-law doesn't like spicy food, but the mother-in-law doesn't like spicy food. The daughter-in-law likes to sleep lazy, and the mother-in-law's family is used to getting up early, and there are many differences in life, so I don't want to go. In fact, in the face of family affection, all discomfort and reluctance can be ignored and completely overcome.
According to the old Chinese tradition, the main thing for the Chinese New Year is to go back to the mother-in-law's house. With the changing times, going back to my mother-in-law's house for the New Year is not the only way. Many couples can choose the most suitable way for their families to go home for the New Year according to their actual situation, which can not only make the mother-in-law open but also satisfy the parents.
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I think it's the same, because those in-laws must be particularly snobbish, so the daughter-in-law will not treat them and don't want to go home for the New Year.
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I think there is indeed a certain relationship, and it is generally a conflict between the daughter-in-law and the in-laws, so I don't want to go home.
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I don't think that's the case, many daughters-in-law just don't like their in-laws, so they don't want to go home for the New Year.
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Summary. Dear, this shouldn't be. Who was not raised by their parents, and who does not want to stay by their parents' side during the Chinese New Year.
Go with your heart, you can spend the New Year wherever you want, you are married, you are an adult, she has no right to care about you, and you also said that the one next door also went back to her parents' house for the New Year, saying that there is no such custom, I will go back to my mother's house for the New Year next year, and my parents-in-law have agreed.
Dear, this shouldn't be. Who was not raised by their parents, and who does not want to stay by their parents' side during the Chinese New Year. Go with your heart, where you want to spend the New Year in Jiji, you are married, you are an adult, she has no right to control you, and you also said, the one next door is also going back to her parents' house for the New Year, Na Li said that there is no such custom, I will go back to my mother's house for the New Year next year, and my parents-in-law have agreed.
Dear, what is your husband's plan? Listen to yours or listen to your own mother. It's critical. You can tell your mother-in-law that you will go back to your parents' house this year and live here next year. I'm the same way. The big mess refers to the fact that the hood family is funny, and there is no opinion.
Yes, I insisted on my idea that I would definitely go back, and I felt that it was very annoying to live with them.
Dear, then go back. Go back to the home you are most comfortable and most familiar with. When it is time to be strong, it is necessary to be strong, and there is nothing wrong with legitimate demands.
Yes, I don't want to see anyone's face in life, just live a good life, strive for financial independence, and don't live with them in the future.
yes, dear. Only when you have confidence can you speak hard. Try to stay out of the way. Distance produces beauty.
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Many people have discovered such a phenomenon, some daughters-in-law do not want to go back to their mother-in-law's house for the New Year, and even go to their parents' house for the New Year. Maybe some people don't understand. Actually, there are many reasons. In addition to the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, there are many other reasons.
1.I'm not used to spending the New Year in an unfamiliar place, and it's still more restrained.
Some mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law usually do not live together, and there are few contradictions, and some daughters-in-law do not want to go back to their in-laws' house during the New Year. In fact, in the final analysis, she is not used to it, especially for her daughter-in-law who lives in a normal urban area. Usually there is air conditioning and heating in the city, but if you go back to the countryside for the Chinese New Year, you may not be able to stand the cold weather and it will be difficult to adapt to the local environment, so you would rather stay in the city.
2.The relatives and friends of the other party are not very familiar with each other, and it is difficult to fit in.
The reason why some daughters-in-law don't want to go back to their in-laws' house for the Spring Festival is not actually the conflict between their husbands and daughters-in-law. There is also a very important reason, that is, if she spends the Spring Festival at her in-law's house, she will inevitably meet some relatives and friends, but she is not familiar with them and it is difficult to integrate into their group. When these relatives and friends get together to eat, drink and be merry, they feel even more lonely and can't talk at all.
3.I don't like complicated interpersonal relationships in the countryside.
Compared with the city, the Chinese New Year in the countryside is more lively, and the reason why it is lively is because there are many relatives in the countryside and people are more closely connected with each other. Every year during the Chinese New Year, there is a custom of going door-to-door to pay New Year's greetings. But it was a burden for the daughter-in-law in the city.
She is not good at socializing, and she will be embarrassed to face strange aunts and aunts.
4.Different ideas do not lead to common topics or conflicts.
Due to the difference in living environment and growth background, urban daughters-in-law and rural in-laws rarely have common topics. Even in many places, because the in-laws do not speak Mandarin but only speak dialects, there will be barriers to communication with each other. In addition, even if communication is barrier-free, different perceptions between them can easily lead to topic conflicts and family conflicts.
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It may be that when you go to your mother-in-law's house, you will think of your mother, and it will be very uncomfortable, so you are reluctant to go, or it may be that you will do a lot of things when you go to your mother-in-law's house, so you are particularly resistant.
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Because there are more things to do during the New Year, and during the New Year, most of the children like to go to their parents' houses, and they don't like to go to their mother-in-law's house, for fear of some conflicts.
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Because it will be very awkward when I go to my mother-in-law's house, and it will also make me feel like an outsider, and there will be certain changes in my heart, and it will be very uncomfortable.
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Because the daughter-in-law went back to her mother-in-law's house for the New Year, she was in a state of weakness. Her relatives and friends are all from the man's family, not her own family, and her daughter-in-law is unwilling to face the shortcomings of these relatives and elders alone, because even if there is any dissatisfaction in her heart, no one will help her, so she is unwilling to go back to her mother-in-law's house for the New Year. And there are some restrictions in my mother-in-law's house, not as free as in my own home.
Another reason is that the relationship between daughters-in-law and mother-in-law has been incompatible since ancient times, and 80% of daughters-in-law are unwilling to face their mother-in-law. Because some strong mothers-in-law are easy to raise strong objections to the daughter-in-law's approach, the current era is different from the previous era when the daughter-in-law became a mother-in-law for many years, and the current women are pampered and grown up, and they are unwilling to let themselves suffer this anger.
If your husband has other siblings, the wives and husbands of the other siblings will also get together during the Chinese New Year. The concubines are very harmonious on the surface, but in fact, they compete with each other in private. And during the Chinese New Year, it is a time for concubines to show off their wealth to each other, and some concubines with good family conditions will take the opportunity of the New Year to show off with relatives and friends, and their practice also makes many relatives and friends feel very disgusted.
If your living conditions are not as good as others, you will definitely have a big sense of gap in your heart, and you will be even more reluctant to go back to your mother-in-law's house for the New Year. If the mother-in-law's family only has one child, the situation will be much better. Therefore, in general, families with more family population and more relatives are reluctant to go back for the New Year.
But not wanting to go back to her mother-in-law's house does not mean that she will not return to her mother-in-law's house, and the meaning of the New Year is very important in the eyes of Chinese, so it is impossible not to return to her mother-in-law's house if she is reluctant. So as long as the mother-in-law treats her daughter-in-law with a pleasant face during the Chinese New Year, and all daughters-in-law are treated equally, I believe this will make the daughter-in-law feel a lot more comfortable.
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Why doesn't my daughter-in-law like to go to her in-law's house, especially during the Chinese New Year? Mainly because my mother-in-law's house is not my own home, I don't feel comfortable; In the mother-in-law's house, I have to face relatives and friends, and I am not free; I was embarrassed not to work at my mother-in-law's house, and I was physically and mentally exhausted.
1. My mother-in-law's house is not my own home, and I don't feel comfortable
At my own home, when I was resting, I could get up at what time I wanted, but I couldn't at my mother-in-law's house. Under normal circumstances, the elderly get up early, and when the whole family gets up, they don't get up by themselves, which is embarrassing to think about. Obviously very tired and wanted to sleep lazy, but in the end, whether it was for the sake of face or to cater to the living habits of my mother-in-law's family, I had to get up early.
At your own home, you can also wear pajamas and face the sky after waking up, and do whatever you like. But it's different at my mother-in-law's house, I still have to pay attention to my image, at least I have to dress neatly before I can get out of the bedroom.
Second, I have to face relatives and friends at my mother-in-law's house, and I am not free
When I go to my mother-in-law's house, my mother-in-law and father-in-law are all elders, and the elders have the living habits and ways of doing things of the elders, which are completely different from those of young people. Especially during the Chinese New Year, if there is a little friction, it is not easy to solve.
Especially when I go to my mother-in-law's house for the Chinese New Year, there must be a bunch of relatives in my mother-in-law's house to socialize. Up to the seventh aunt, eight aunts, uncles, there are brothers and sisters in the middle, and there are nephews and nieces and other junior bear children below. The elders will ask where do you work?
How much money do you make a month? When are you going to have a baby? And so on, and a series of personal issues, not bad.
One question, then the next one waits, and it seems endless. It's okay for the junior children to be sensible, but they are afraid of meeting bear children, and they can't be reasonable, let alone discipline directly, so they can only sulk by themselves. When I went back to my mother-in-law's house once during the Chinese New Year, it was really a piece of chicken feathers.
3. I am embarrassed not to work at my mother-in-law's house, and I am physically and mentally exhausted
When I go to my mother-in-law's house, I have endless work to do. You are a junior, your parents-in-law are elders, you can't work as a daughter-in-law, you can only work with your daughter-in-law, or you can just let your parents-in-law rest and take over the work that your parents-in-law have to do. Especially during the Chinese New Year, the house needs to be cleaned, what needs to be cleaned and cleaned, where everything is, you need to ask your parents-in-law before doing it.
To cook the Chinese New Year's Eve dinner, a large family needs to cook a lot of dishes, from washing vegetables to changing knives, to making finished products, and finally to clean up after brushing, which is really tiring. And after these housework are done, the parents-in-law may not be all satisfied, and in the end they will only be physically and mentally exhausted. Therefore, it is easy to understand that daughters-in-law do not like to go to their in-laws' houses, especially during the Chinese New Year.
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Because it will be more restrained in the in-law's house, you have to be careful in doing things, and you have to cook, do housework, etc.
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Because the daughter-in-law is not familiar with the relatives of her in-laws, she is more restrained.
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Because the relationship between the daughter-in-law and the mother-in-law is very delicate, the daughter-in-law will be very uncomfortable when she goes to her mother-in-law's house, and she will be counted down by her mother-in-law, so she doesn't like to go during the New Year.
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Your thoughts just express that your self-confidence is not enough, because you are afraid of losing him and think of all kinds of possibilities, but you are wrong, when anyone has a new relationship at the beginning, the past is just a memory, even if you meet him on the street one day and say hello to her in the past, it is natural to say hello to the next day, proving that he has let go of the past and accepted the present you. Strengthen your self-confidence, otherwise you will have more conflicts in the future, and your suspicions will be heavier, as long as he does not go too far, you should believe in him and believe in your own vision.