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I think you should choose to rent a house outside to live in, because I think since your parents are reluctant, if you live together, there will definitely be conflicts.
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In this case, it is necessary to communicate with the parents and husbands, as long as the parents and the husband have no opinions, there is no need to care about other people's opinions.
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If you want to live in your parents' house after you get married, it's better not to go home to live, it's better to go back to your own house, after all, you're married, and you can't always go back to your parents' house.
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Then don't embarrass your parents, since you are not allowed to live in your mother's house, then you can go and visit your parents, and you don't have to stay overnight.
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You should have a good talk with your parents, and at the same time ask your parents whether it is the daughter who is important, or whether gossip is important.
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The main thing is that after having my own home, I don't often walk around with others, which makes me feel very strange. Or it can be understood that it has something to do with people's personalities. For example, people with a quiet personality and people who don't like to talk will feel like this.
Many women feel that when they are not married, they feel that it is their own home, and when they get married, they think that it is still their own home, but after a long time, their mother's family has no shadow of their own life, first give you your clothes, I am afraid that you will use it in the future, and then this is in the mother's room is gone, it is better to move out and put something if you don't go back, and slowly find that going back to your mother's house is like a guest visiting the door, go back to make something delicious, and go back to your own home after eating! Another stool book lost a home.
In the in-law's house, you feel that you are an outsider, most of these women are more cautious and sensitive, and they will think before and after saying a word, worrying that others will cause misunderstanding of your words. I'm that kind of person too.
In fact, people's magnetic fields are mutually induced, you are careful, others are infected by you, and they are also cautious about you, and the estrangement will slowly rise. You will find that people who are confident and have the ability to call will always infect those around them.
The son is married, in his own home. The daughter got married and went to someone else's house. The period when a woman gets married is the beginning of the evolution of the original family.
The son is still in the original home, there will be no strangeness, and the daughter-in-law is different, she came to a strange family, and many people are not familiar, only the husband is relatively familiar, according to Chinese tradition this is her home, if this new home is not friendly enough for her to accommodate, there will be a feeling of exclusion.
But for her, it takes time to get acquainted with all kinds of people, things, and things. She is familiar with her mother's family who has grown up for many years, but if there are brothers and sisters-in-law, younger brothers and sisters, according to tradition, they or they are the heads of the next generation, this is the traditional concept. Soon after getting married, if the new family is not very well accepted, and the original family has brothers and sisters-in-law, it is more difficult for women at this time, which is the status quo of Chinese families, and this situation is more common in rural areas.
But a lot of things don't fall into a pattern, it's about how you see it. If you don't see it that way, you wouldn't be in such a state of mind.
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There is an old saying that the daughter who marries out spills out the water, which shows that under the cultural influence of the old lead ruler, the Huai book woman has to contribute to the family she marries for a lifetime after becoming a family, and she can't go back to her parents' house after being divorced.
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In fact, if you get married, you can live in your mother's house. If you communicate with your husband before marriage, that's fine. However, Chinese men in orange shirts generally don't like to live in the old man's house, giving people the feeling of a door-to-door son-in-law.
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It's not reasonable, as long as there is a place to live.
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There is a friend who is married, and the house that the man bought is not in the county, but in the city. The young couple worked in the county again, and the mother-in-law's family had a whole house, so they had to choose to live in the mother-in-law's house, not to mention that the father-in-law was gone, and the brother-in-law served in the army, so there was no choice to live in the mother's house.
has lived in her mother's house for a long time, and the conflict has been escalating, and in the final analysis, it is the mother-in-law who feels sorry for her daughter. The young couple is a small leader of the unit, who eats in the cafeteria at noon and has dinner with friends in the evening, and basically does not eat with his mother-in-law. There are too many friends to have dinners, and with the addition of house goods, there is no money to hand over to his wife.
I often eat out, and I have less time to take care of my daughter. There is no cohesion in this way of life for a family of three.
The mother-in-law can't get used to her son-in-law's approach, plus the family expenses are all daughters, and the nieces are all daughters when they are sick. The more time passed, the more I felt that my son-in-law had no merits, so my daughter also wanted to divorce.
I have seen a lot of this situation in real life, and I live in my mother-in-law's house after marriage. The mother-in-law's family doesn't like the poor son-in-law, and after a long time, it will also affect the relationship between the young couple, and finally have to divorce.
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1.After getting married, women will devote more time and energy to the new family, such as taking care of children, taking care of housework, and accompanying their husbands, resulting in little time and opportunities for them to spend time with their families. Over time, women will find themselves drifting away from their parents.
2.After a woman gets married, her natural growth and life circle changesWith the growth of age and the change of the living environment, the social circle and life circle of women have gradually changed. After getting married and having children, a woman will make friends with other mothers, party, communicate, take care of children, etc., and these people and things gradually fill her life, making her less connected to her mother's family.
3.Conflicts between a woman and her mother-in-law after marriageIn some cases, there will be some conflicts in the relationship between women and their mother-in-law, causing them to be reluctant to return to their parents' home. For example, the mother-in-law does not like the son-in-law's family, or the woman disagrees with the mother-in-law, etc., which can cause women to be reluctant to travel and have contact with their mother's family.
4.After a woman gets married, she prefers her own family, and women will also begin to establish a relatively independent life and family with their own family. Compared with her mother's family, she is more willing to devote more attention and energy to her family, so that she will feel that her mother's family is gradually becoming strange.
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Reason: Many places in the vast rural areas of our country have the concept of this defeat and scrutiny, that is to say, after the girl marries out and starts a family, she cannot live in her mother's house for a long time or ruined time, so the perception of people is not very good, and others are easy to gossip and gossip. In fact, this is also a deep-rooted custom concept that has been handed down in our country since ancient times.
If you do encounter the behavior of your parents not letting you go back to your parents' house, you must not be in a hurry to quarrel with your parents, so that Brother Yinchang will only envy and expand the situation, but to discuss and communicate with your parents.
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As for my mother's family, I always felt in my heart that I owed them something.
Since I got married, I rarely go back to my home, at most twice a year, to be honest, it's not that I don't want to go back, it's that the cost of going back every time is too big, I can't afford to go back, I don't know if you have this feeling.
When I first got married, I was fine, and I would go back to visit my parents during the holidays, but since we bought a house and made a down payment, I really didn't dare to go back casually. Even if he wanted to go back, he would restrain himself, and would rather send some money to them and let him let the door buy some food and drink by himself. It's like cashing out the fare home to your family.
Sometimes if you calculate carefully, it costs a few thousand every time you go back, and it really hurts your wallet to go back a few times a year.
I remember the last time I went back to my parents' house, it was last year's National Day, and I was originally going back to pay New Year's greetings to the New Year last year, but due to the epidemic, I didn't go to it, and I stayed in Guangzhou this year and didn't ruin the banquet back.
Sometimes I feel so aggrieved that I don't even dare to go home.
I think your mom is too much!
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