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Our husband and wife are now divorced because of a trivial matter, how can we sit down and talk?
1.It is advisable that after a quarrel, you must state only the reason for the quarrel. Don't choose to turn your old accounts over.
This is a mistake that most women make. Be sure to communicate only about this matter. It's better to communicate from the other person's point of view.
If the two sides are too intense, be sure to remain calm. No matter how aggrieved you are, you have to find a way to stop the fight. Because when people are angry, it's easy to say things that don't go through the brain and can stab others.
When you stop arguing, you can choose to stay away from the other person and give the other person a moment of calm. Reconciliation doesn't have to be in words. If you're not good at apologizing, you can go to the other person and pick out a gift that he likes, or cook him a nice dinner.
Make him feel like you care about him.
2.Learn to listen. In fact, many times, the reason why there are so many irreconcilable contradictions between husband and wife is actually very simple.
Many times, there are so many conflicts between husband and wife, because many couples talk to themselves, and few people turn around and really calm down and listen carefully to what the other person is saying. However, whether it is a couple or any other relationship, the most important thing is not anything else, but to learn to listen. If either spouse can calm down and listen carefully to each other's voices and words, all problems will become less tense, and many conflicts and problems between the husband and wife will be resolved accordingly.
3.Both husband and wife should take the initiative. After the Cold War lasts for some time, someone needs to take the initiative to stand up and clear the gap.
It doesn't matter who is right and who is wrong, things have to be settled. You can explain to the other person how you felt at the time and what you thought afterwards. After all, it is impossible for two people to be husband and wife for the rest of their lives and never talk again.
Finding the right time to talk to each other is a key to getting out of the Cold War. When there is a problem between couples, don't just keep silent, but when you are emotional, it is unwise to blame each other all the time. Only when both parties calm down can they come up with a solution peacefully, give each other time to think, and get better communication.
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You should bow your head to the other party, tell the other party what you think in your heart, and you should also understand the other party's thoughts when talking, don't easily interrupt others, and then analyze this matter.
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The husband and wife sit down to communicate and communicate, listen to each other's thoughts more, but also understand each other more, listen to each other's attitude, if there is no relationship between the husband and wife, you can choose divorce.
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Two people should communicate well and find a suitable time to solve the matter, since it is a small matter, there is no need to make such a big move, and you need to apologize to each other.
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It's not terrible for couples to quarrel. It's scary to hurt each other. Quarrels between husband and wife are not entirely bad, and moderate quarrels between husband and wife.
Not only will it not affect the relationship between husband and wife. Instead, it will enhance the relationship. In fact, sometimes quarrels are also a kind of communication.
If you are usually ashamed to say something, you will say it when you quarrel. At least the other party knows why you are angry. But such quarrels must not come at the cost of name-calling and insults.
That would hurt each other's feelings a lot.
Therefore, the relationship between husband and wife can be handled well, and the following points can be done:
1. Think for the other party.
When a fight is about to happen, you might as well put yourself in the other person's position and think about it. You should think about why the other person is unpleasant? When the flames of war are about to burn out, you might as well retreat and wait for the other party to calm down, and then find out the reasons and exchange opinions, so as to avoid quarrels.
2. Don't expose each other.
When a quarrel between husband and wife inevitably occurs, it is necessary to take matters into account, and never prove yourself right by exposing each other's secrets, or use this to make the other person submit. Otherwise, it will intensify contradictions, deepen differences, and hurt feelings.
3. Don't compare with others.
When a husband and wife quarrel with each other, don't compare each other with someone else's husband or wife. That kind of approach will not solve any problems, but will hurt the self-esteem of the other party.
4. Do not involve relatives.
Husband and wife quarrels are purely their own household affairs, and do not involve other relatives. Not only will this not be helpful, but it will also make the other person's affection for your relative disappear completely.
5. Don't be judged by outsiders.
When husband and wife quarrel with each other, don't say what the other party is in front of outsiders, and don't let outsiders judge who is right and who is wrong. This will make the other party feel that they have lost face and will expand the conflict.
6. Settle as soon as possible.
After a husband and wife quarrel, they should reconcile as soon as possible. After a quarrel, no matter who has a reason, you should take the initiative to apologize to the other party.
Legal basis. Article 1087 of the Civil Code of the People's Republic of China [Disposal of the joint property of the husband and wife at the time of divorce] In the event of divorce, the joint property of the husband and wife shall be disposed of by agreement between the two parties; If an agreement is not reached, the people's court is to make a judgment based on the specific circumstances of the property and in accordance with the principle of taking care of the rights and interests of the children, the woman, and the innocent party. The rights and interests enjoyed by husbands or wives in the contracting and management of family land shall be protected in accordance with law.
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The main thing is that the husband and wife are exhausted by the usual contradictions, and both of them are completely disappointed in each other. So even if a small thing happens, it can erupt at any time, and even if it seems like a small problem to outsiders, it will eventually lead to violent conflicts and quarrels. The two simply broke the jar and broke it, and threatened each other with divorce at any time.
This is obviously a problem with the way the two get along, usually do not communicate well with the problem, so there is a conflict, and in the face of the contradiction, they only consider it from their own perspective, so they fail to properly eliminate the contradiction. The last little thing that came about led to this dissatisfaction growing stronger, leading to a gradual widening rift in the marital relationship and eventually irreparable consequences.
First, conflicts arise like ordinary social relationships, which often encounter problems, not to mention the intimate relationship between husband and wife that have been together for decades, which is a normal phenomenon, after all, everyone thinks differently and naturally has different views on problems. We can't avoid problems, but the conflict is a more negative result, which has escalated to emotional confrontation. So how does the "problem" evolve into a "contradiction"?
The main thing is a lack of communication, only thinking about their own thoughts, but not taking into account the feelings of their lovers, which eventually leads to strong dissatisfaction and confrontation.
Second, the resolution of contradictionsMany unavoidable circumstances lead to conflicts between the two, and how to resolve them is also a key factor in determining the direction of marriage. Borrowing the method of the ancestor Dayu to control the water, there are two kinds of "blocking" and "sparse". Blocking is equivalent to not solving it, pressing it in your heart, and waiting for time to dilute it.
But contradictions do not arise for no reason, let alone disappear for no reason. Although it is temporarily covered up, when new problems arise, all the emotions that have been pent-up in the past will be involved, further causing greater contradictions. At this time, it is equivalent to the dam that holds back the water and bursts.
So this is definitely not the best solution.
So what about using "sparse"? The literal meaning is "channeling", which dissolves the contradictions that arise at any time in an appropriate way, values the dissatisfaction of the other party, and guides this emotionThe first thing to do here is to think about the problem from the other side's point of view and understand the other party's opinions and opinions. Understanding is the best way to bridge the gap and greatly appease the other person's dissatisfaction.
At the same time, a certain compensation plan is adopted to safeguard the interests of the other party and reduce its losses, so as to maximize the win-win situation. In this way, the contradiction can be eliminated naturally.
Third, the accumulation of contradictions depends on the method used to resolve them. If it is laissez-faire, it will inevitably lead to the accumulation of contradictions. The dissatisfaction in everyone's hearts will also rise day by day, and eventually quantitative changes will lead to qualitative changes, and at some point they will completely explode.
Finding a solution in time and mending the cracks in the marital relationship before they widen can effectively prolong the life of the relationship. So the key is efficiency. Don't have any luck mentality, thinking that a trivial thing is not worth talking about on the table, you must know that the "butterfly effect" is also a major reason for the outbreak of emotional crisis.
On the whole, the breakdown of intimate relationships and the unbearable disgust of each other are all caused by the failure to solve these three contradictory problems, which must be learned.
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Although it is just a few small things, these small things may appear often in life. So many people can't stand it anymore and end up getting divorced.
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It is because these trivial things may make some changes in the mentality between two people, and they feel particularly boring, and it is also because they have touched a flashpoint that they will choose to divorce.
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Because people nowadays are financially independent, women will not wronged themselves in life, and if they feel that life can't go on, they will divorce.
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Although it is just a small thing, these small things may be found often in daily life, so it is like this.
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There are many couples who have divorced after getting married, because the relationship is not particularly good, so they have to divorce when they encounter a little thing, and they feel that divorce is very hurtful to their feelings, so don't file for divorce at will. If we feel that a marriage is particularly tiring, then there is no need to maintain such a marriage, and frequent divorce will make people feel very tired.
After getting married, some men may not pay special attention to their wives, and they also feel that because of the marriage certificate. Even if you don't pay attention to your wife, there is no way, but in this way, it will only make the relationship between the two people worse and worse. It is also recommended that after a quarrel, you can think about who is right and who is wrong.
If it is the wife's mistake, you can coax the wife first, and when the wife's mood has stabilized, then tell the wife about the mistake. Feelings are like this, if the attitude of two people is very tough, it will only make the marriage unsustainable, and having a child will also be very harmful to the child.
Like many girls will often file for divorce as soon as they quarrel after marriage, but they don't know that such behavior will only make the other party farther and farther away from you. When there is no quarrel, you can quarrel with the other party, or you can go back to your parents' house, but what you can't mention is the word divorce. We must know that divorce is very hurtful, and it will also make the other party feel that divorce is due to a trivial matter, and there is no need to persist in such a marriage.
Maybe when we first talk about divorce, the other party will think that it is a very serious matter and will coax you, but if a little thing happens, we often talk about divorce, and the other party will not take you to heart. And I hate such people very much, if in marriage, the other party often says divorce, I also feel that there is no need to persist in such a marriage.
After two people get married, it is a legally recognized husband and wife relationship, and everyone should cherish it, after all, before two people get the certificate, they have experienced a lot of pain and a lot of hardships. There are many more things to go through in this life, so the couple should spend it hand in hand.
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There is no need to divorce because of a little thing This kind of marriage can actually be maintained Two people sit down and talk slowly Open to each other Look at personal thoughts Husband and wife should understand each other, love each other, take care of each other, in order to last.
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It is better to communicate more, marriage is not easy. Don't get divorced for the sake of a trivial matter. Some people often quarrel over a trivial matter, but they don't take it to heart, but if they do get divorced, it will hurt their feelings.
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No matter what the reason is, I think that since we have chosen to be together, we should understand and tolerate each other, don't want to divorce at every turn, there is a solution to everything, we should sleep together for thousands of years, and cherish our hard-won feelings.
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There will always be all kinds of problems, and husband and wife should face up to the difficulties, and solve the problems when they encounter them, and they can't say divorce at every turn, so there is really no need to continue such a marriage.
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Husbands and wives want to divorce for a little thing, in fact, women are more hypocritical, they don't really want to divorce, just say angry words to coax women, to maintain a relationship, you must know how to tolerate each other's shortcomings.
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Hello, there are conflicts between husband and wife, quarrels may be angry and will file for divorce, but it is not necessarily completely emotionless, as long as there are no substantive problems and contradictions in a marriage, try to communicate and cultivate well.
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If our husband and wife divorce because of a trivial matter, there is no need for such a marriage to last, because in our marriage, we should understand each other and tolerate each other
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If the husband and wife quarrel for divorce because of a trivial matter, I think you should find out where the contradiction between the two of you isIs it a disagreement in terms of personality, or is it a difference in your values? Quarreling for divorce because of a trivial matter, can't you discuss to solve things?
Maybe it's because there's too little communication between you.
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