What did your parents do after failing the exam?

Today's test-taking education.

Many parents are particularly concerned about their children's grades, and sometimes their children's test scores are not satisfactory, and parents begin to be anxious, unable to control their inner anxiety, so they begin to scold, abuse, and some even fight. This will not only not solve the problem, but also cause harm to the child, at this time the father should calm down, help the child find the reason, and face it with the child. So, when your child's test results are not satisfactory, parents should not touch these three taboos:

1. Don't put too much pressure on the child, the child did not do well in the exam, and the child himself is very sad, at this time, if the parents blame again, it will put more pressure on the child, and it is not conducive to future learning. Help your child find the reason for the "failure". Look at the child is the way to learn.

If there is a problem, or the child has a problem with the subject, you can properly find the teacher to communicate and understand the situation, and parents should find the crux of the failure to take the test, so as to prescribe the right medicine.

2. Parents should not show disappointment and anxiety, because children will always observe words and feelings, and they can feel it. Even if the parents do not scold the child, but sigh and sigh all day long, the child will be infected, and he will be very stressed, which will affect the learning. Therefore, parents should be calm in front of their children's grades and communicate reasonably with their children.

Parents should be good role models. We analyze the problem and ultimately solve the problem. Learning is like a marathon, there can be no slack in the middle, parents are the first teachers of children, and they are also the teachers who accompany their children for the longest time, parents should be positive, and children will also be affected.

3. Parents must not compare their own children with other people's childrenSome parents will always be jealous of other people's children who have scored 99 points, and how can you give me 60 points, so uncompetitive, keep scolding their children. If at this time, if the child says to you, "Look at other people's fathers, they all drive BMWs."

It's time to go to work, and you're still crowding the bus", how would you feel at this time? Praise your child's progress. No matter how bad the child is also has his own advantages, you can praise the child's strengths, and then point out his shortcomings, this work should be specific to every detail of life, because every detail of life and learning determines the quality of the grades, and the child's growth is a process of continuous exploration and summary.

Parents are their children's first teachers and the people they trust and rely on the most, so the parent's education methods are very important.

Almost all parents care about their children's scores, but most parents are biased when it comes to their children's test scores. So, how can you actively help your child if he fails in the exam?

1. Accept your child and stay calm.

Failing in exams is a normal phenomenon in studying. We need to learn to accept our children and face them gently and sensibly. Don't get angry, don't intimidate, don't tie an exam to your child's future and amplify its negative effects, be sure to keep your emotions calm and send a message to your child:

We have a problem with learning, but this problem is not unsolvable.

2. Don't compare your child with someone else's child.

Why are you so stupid? Other students can get a full score, everyone is taught by the same teacher, others can get a full score, why can't you take the test? When parents say this kind of thing to their children, their children's self-esteem and self-confidence will be hurt because of this, and they will feel that they are really stupid and inferior to others, and they will be labeled like this from then on.

Slowly, such labels are a kind of pressure and suggestion to the child, and like a magic spell, the child will go around in circles in your spell.

3. Dig out and affirm your child's progress.

No matter how poor the learning is, the child also has advantages, and it is necessary to be good at finding the child's progress and praising him, for example, the total score has improved compared to the last time; I made a mistake last time I wrote a question, and I got it right this time; The handwriting is beautiful; The child's attitude towards active guilt is very positive.

Fourth, accompany the child to analyze the reasons for not doing well in the test.

There are many reasons why you don't do well in the exam, whether you don't learn the basic knowledge well, or because the learning method is not appropriate, or because the basic skills training is not enough? Is it a problem in life, or a physical discomfort, or stage fright? Is it a problem with reading ability or incomplete comprehension?

As a parent, we must help our children find the "symptoms" together, so as to "prescribe the right medicine".

5. Formulate specific response plans and implement them.

We help the children find the cause together, we must prescribe the right medicine, formulate specific solutions, and accompany the children to overcome each and make up for the shortcomings. In this process, use your care and patience to observe and praise the child's efforts, and share the joy of every bit of progress with the child.

Compared with a child's grades, growth always comes first. Life is a long life, as long as there is the attentive companionship of parents, we believe that children will make progress every day.

After the exam failed. My parents just comforted me and didn't do anything drastic. I feel like I should do the same.

In the future, if the child does not do well in the exam, there is no need to do some radical behavior, such as the person on the topic said, his lecture in private, in fact, the child's heart is unbearable.

For today's children, in fact, punishment is an excessive behavior, because today's children actually understand that there are a lot of children, and they also have self-esteem, if the punishment is excessive, then for the child, he may give up on himself, don't want to care, study hard, anyway, there is no hope. If you can give your child encouragement, then I believe that your child will work harder.

I didn't do well in the exam, in fact, I really hope to get the encouragement of my parents, not to punish this, I have a deep experience, because my parents are my biggest support, if my parents punish me again at this time, then my heart is very sad. So my parents saw this and didn't punish me if I didn't do well in the exam, but gave me more encouragement. In the next exam, I will be able to do better.

Therefore, I think that after failing in the exam, parents should not punish their children, but encourage them appropriately. Helping children find problems is what parents should do. The child will find more problems in a single failure, so that he can do well in things or exams.

In China, there are almost no parents who do not pay attention to their children's scores, but the vast majority of parents are biased in their treatment of their children's test scores, and even beat and scold their children at every turn. To trace back to the roots, of course, it is inseparable from the habitual thinking of Chinese parents: good grades, good work, and good life.

Otherwise, those who do not achieve high grades will be classified as poor students. So, when a child fails in the exam, what do good parents do?

Let's take a look at a few special cases:

A child who speaks at the age of 6 and writes at the age of 10 is described by the teacher as "unresponsive, illogical, and full of unrealistic fantasies." "Can you say he's a bad student? His name was Albert Einstein.

A child took the college entrance examination for 3 years, and only scored 33 points in English for the first time, and later he opened an English training school called "New Oriental" and listed it in the United States. His name is Yu Minhong.

A child also took the college entrance examination for 3 years, scoring 1 point in the first math test, 19 points in the second math test, and 79 points in the third math test. His name is Jack Ma.

Of course, the above is only a targeted example, and it does not mean that people with low scores have a future. But we must also admit that there are differences between people.

If a child usually has good grades and occasionally fails in an exam, parents don't need to make a fuss, this is a child's abnormal performance. If a child's grades are always unsatisfactory, then parents should find the root cause.

It's not terrible for a child to fail the exam, but it's terrible for the parents to take the wrong way to deal with it. Because the wrong way of coping will make the child farther and farther away from good grades, and with the right method, the child will get out of the shadow of the test and get the ideal score.

Let me illustrate with a few examples of students.

A girl who can stay in the top few of her grade in every exam. Once, I asked her mother, "How did the child maintain such excellent grades?"

The mother told me that when I was in the fifth grade, my child once scored only 50 points in the English test. The child cried when she saw her mother, and her mother asked her what was the matter, and it turned out that there was still an interview paper that she had not seen.

When her mother found out, she didn't say a word of accusation, but said to her, "It's good that you pay attention to this mistake in the future." "Since then, the child has never scored below 95.

Two children, in the first monthly exam, failed the test: one is a boy Hao, and the other is a girl Yan. In the second monthly exam, Yeon improved by leaps and bounds, while Howe continued to regress. I went to Yeon and Howe's mothers separately to ask what was going on.

Yeon's mother told me: I was worried that my child would be sad after knowing that my daughter had failed in the exam, so I bought delicious food for her to eat, and told her that it didn't matter if she failed in the exam this time, and that she would work hard in the future. And Hao's mother told me: I was very angry when I knew that my son did not do well in the exam, so I ignored him.

After listening to Howe's mother's words, I told her the story of the girl and Yeon in front of me.

and said to her: "Howe failed the exam twice in a row, because when he was taking the exam, he was always worried that if he didn't do well, you would be angry." Think about it: in the exam room, such a state,

As parents, we should carefully observe whether the child's physical and mental defense and ability development have reached the normal range of the age group. If you do, you don't need to pay too much attention to your child's ranking in the class, you can use the longitudinal comparison method to compare the child's overall performance in the current semester with the overall performance of the previous semester, rather than with the best children in the class, so as not to undermine the child's self-confidence.

Parents should adjust their mentality, children are very sensitive, and they can see their parents' mentality from some subtle emotional reactions on their parents. We must firmly believe that as long as children can be optimistic and not tired of learning, temporary backwardness is not a big problem. Parents should discuss with their children in an encouraging tone, let him make a simple self-summary of the situation in each subject, find out the problem, and strive not to make the same mistake again next time.

Accept the reality calmly and accompany your child through difficult times.

As a parent, you must learn to accept your child's strengths and weaknesses. If a child's grade in a subject falls below the "satisfactory" line, we must first learn to accept the reality. Accepting the fact that the child is temporarily "lagging behind" does not mean that the parents are inactive, but only by accepting the facts, can parents control their emotions, communicate effectively with their children, accompany their children through difficulties, and share the troubles and unhappiness caused by temporary "backwardness" with him.

In the face of temporary learning difficulties, self-confidence and responsibility are the right attitudes that children should have, and these two traits are precisely the most needed for future social competition. Give more warmth to the children who fail in the test.

Children fail in the exam, in fact, their hearts are broken, and they are also the most helpless, at this time, they want to get the understanding and support of their parents the most. For parents, if their children fail in the exam, parents can avoid the important and do not talk about scores and rankings. Parents should let their children know that scores are important, but more important is whether a person has a good attitude in the face of setbacks and adversity, which is one of the important magic weapons to overcome self.

Now, after the exam, the teacher will not publish the child's score and ranking. But parents ask for it privately, and teachers will give it. After the mid-term exam, parents should privately find the homeroom teacher and ask for their child's test scores and rankings.

Because it expresses the attitude of parents towards their children's learning. If parents don't pay attention to their children's scores and rankings, then their children will not care about studying and exams, and teachers will not care about your children.

After getting their child's scores and rankings, there are three "tips" for parents to do. When parents "keep their mouths" and hold "positive emotions" and "positive attitudes", they can work with their children to analyze the examination papers and evaluate the learning situation.

1. Parents should encourage and recognize what their children are doing well.

No matter how many scores a child has in the exam, as a parent, the first thing to see is what the child has done, what the child can do is to do the superior resources he has, we need to see that the child also wants to be recognized from the heart, and wants to be encouraged.

For example, my daughter scored 82 points in the final Chinese test this time, and the total score was 100 points, so I asked the child: "You scored 82 points in the Chinese test in this final exam, how do you usually study?" ”

After sharing, the child continued to ask: "After listening to your learning methods, I feel that you have mastered the basic knowledge and composition very well on weekdays, what do you think you need to make some adjustments?" "Take time to read more, read more in news and modern literature, and use weekends and holidays to read comprehension and writing!

We can do a good job of persisting in doing it, and my mother is also very satisfied with maintaining the status quo, and with some small changes and adjustments, you will be better! Mom is looking forward to it! "No matter how many points the children score, they have their own place to do it, so let's think about how to let the children share how they did it.

Share their own successful experience, the child is very happy, as for wanting to change a small step of action, in fact, it is not easy, to hold a normal heart, to be able to accompany the child to do a good job of persistence, it is not easy, this is what we have to do, must do.

This homework should be done in advance, do it in ordinary times, pay more attention to the positive, ask more about the parts that the child has done, and the child will have more confidence to persevere, and the effort will be more durable.

2. Parents should reflect with their children and help them make adjustments in time.

No matter how good or bad the test score is, there is room for reflection and adjustment as parents and children. Children who do well in exams reflect on what their children and themselves usually do? The most important thing is to let children reflect on their own successful experiences, encourage and support them when they feel useful, and continue to persevere.

Abandon the temporary uselessness to help children grow more easily. Don't focus on a small point of inadequacy, infinitely magnifying, it will hurt children's self-confidence. Influencing a child is always more effective than changing.

When we find that our children and ourselves have problems, as parents, we must first change ourselves and adjust in time, which will affect the children, and the children will slowly have some changes and adjustments.