Some people are always gentle with strangers and harsh with their relatives, what is the psychology

There are a lot of people coming and going in our lives, and there are a lot of people who are important to us. And our character and character education determine the way we deal with people. But we will find that many people around us are always gentle with strangers, but they are very harsh towards their loved ones.

What do you think is the psychology of this?

For us personally, relatives are very important, and it is also a relationship where blood is thicker than water, and will choose to support ourselves unconditionally at any time, and will also give us spiritual strength, this is because of the existence of family members, so our lives are more colorful, and also make our lives more motivated and directional. And it is precisely because our relatives always trust and love us unconditionally that we often have a misunderstanding about our family members. That is, we tend to treat some strangers and our friends in a very polite and gentle way, but we always leave the harshest side of ourselves to our relatives, and often say some excessive things without thinking to hurt the hearts of our family members.

In fact, the reason why we always treat strangers gently, but treat our relatives very harshly, is because we know that our relatives will always tolerate and understand us unconditionally, and not only our relatives will not leave us, so we always use a very casual attitude to send our relatives. And we treat outsiders with our usual upbringing and courtesy. It is precisely because of this psychology that we always make some low-level mistakes and always hurt our closest people.

So to sum up, the reason why some people are always gentle with strangers, but harsh on their own intelligence, is because they believe that young people will not leave us, and they get along with their families more casually, so they always say something and do something without thinking. And this kind of psychology is actually very detrimental to family relationships, and it will also hurt the people who love us the most. We should have a better attitude towards our closest family members, so what do you think?

Because many people want to leave their best side to strangers and leave a good impression on others, they always hope that their relatives can understand them, and they also hope that their relatives can be tolerant, and they will become very mean when facing their relatives, so they will treat their relatives harshly. This is not right, it is also very bad, and it is very easy to hurt the family.

It may be that you relax in front of your loved ones and then tense yourself up in front of other people, wanting to make a good impression on others, which is why it becomes like this. This should be a special psychology, and after having this kind of psychology, he will relax himself in front of his family and make himself particularly harsh, because he also knows that his family will definitely forgive him.

Treating strangers as very important, caring about other people's thoughts, not establishing a correct idea, not recognizing the importance of relatives, and being very irrational, such behavior will only hurt the hearts of relatives, and in the end the gains will outweigh the losses.

We are more gentle with strangers and harsh with our relatives, because we do not easily show our weakest and most painful side in front of others, and we tend to show our most depressed, painful, and ugly side to our relatives. That's why we often become harsh in front of our loved ones, like a different person. We treat our loved ones as an outlet and trash can for our emotions.

Therefore, we are not afraid to export our bad emotions to our relatives, and even vent our bad emotions to them. Actually, this is not fair. We can't take our bad feelings out on anyone.

Every short-tempered person, she is often praised for being gentle-tempered and docile in front of strangers. This is because they tend to restrain their emotions in front of strangers and hide their truest side. All bad emotions will be triggered in front of their loved ones, and they themselves know that this is not right, it is not good, but they can't control themselves.

Because emotions always need an outlet, and they always need a trash can to pick them up. Therefore, when facing their loved ones, they often speak wild and bad emotions, exposing the ugliest side, which is also shown.

But we can't treat strangers with bad emotions, and we should also understand and understand. You can't treat your loved ones with bad feelings. Because our relatives are the most understanding and considerate of us, we can't vent our bad feelings on them because of their tolerance, their tolerance, and their love.

They can tolerate us and love us, and we should feel fortunate and grateful, rather than blindly consuming their kindness.

Therefore, everyone who wants to lose their temper should think about whether their emotions must be released, and whether they still have to choose the object of venting. It's best to think about why you're feeling angry and address the problem at the source.

It may be that he has saved his worst temper for his relatives, which is actually incorrect. And this is also a more distorted psychology, we can't be like this, such a psychology should be a psychology of bullying the weak and afraid of the hard, and usually there is no assertiveness, very selfish, usually such a person should have a particularly bad temper, and only dare to lose his temper with his relatives.

These people are actually very selfish and indifferent by nature, they just create a gentle illusion to strangers, and the nature of treating their relatives is the nature of this person, these people are very good actors, always leaving their best side to strangers and hurting their families.

will be particularly bullying the soft and afraid of the hard, and very unassertive, especially cautious, very selfish, no matter what you do, you will only think of your own interests.

Compare the psychological state of seeing the outside, leaving the bad temper to the family, and leaving the good temper to the outsiders, this should be a psychological state that many people have, but we must learn to control our temper and not hurt the people around us.

Why are some people always gentle with strangers but harsh with their lovers? In fact, this is a very common thing in our daily life, because we feel that people who love themselves will never leave themselves, maybe this is also a manifestation of love, always very gentle and patient with strangers, because I feel that the other party will not always be by my side, not only my lover, but also my family, sometimes we should not treat people who love themselves deeply and care about themselves, don't let them chill. Don't take this love for granted because the other party won't leave you, don't give the worst side to your lover, or someone who loves you.

One. He is very his lover, perhaps because he feels that the other person will not leave him.

In our daily life, we will find a very common phenomenon, that is, to treat their lover, very short-tempered, feel that the other party's love is taken for granted, maybe many times impatient, have been losing their temper with each other, but in front of strangers but behave gently and considerately, so that their lover to see is very chilling. Maybe it's because you feel that the other party will never leave you, people are like this, they always don't cherish the love they get, maybe they don't know what it means to cherish when they lose it, but many times it's too late. <>

Two. Sometimes being harsh may be a form of love.

Treat your lover very harshly, probably because of love, because of the fear that the other person will get along with other people in the same way outside, and will be hated by others, and the requirements for each other are always very high. In our daily life, we must learn to cherish the people around us who love themselves, because these people have no obligation to love themselves, there are not many people in the world who will be good to themselves without asking for anything in return, and the same is true for family members, we must be more patient and caring. <>

The above is just a personal opinion, why do you think many people behave like this in life?

Because they give their good character to outsiders, and give their temper to the people closest to them, there are many people like this, they don't know how to cherish their lovers, and face is more important than anything else, so they do this.

The main reason is that the relationship between the lover and himself is closer, and being harsh on the lover is to make the other party better.

Such a person always leaves a good attitude to others, and a bad temper will be left to his family, commonly known as nest in the nest. Because such people don't know how to be grateful, they can't appreciate the goodness of their families.

This is a very common phenomenon, because sometimes when we talk and do things, we think about the safety range, and it is obvious that our loved ones have a greater safety range than strangers.

That is what we often say, sometimes you are in a bad mood, and you will lose your temper with your relatives, because you clearly know that the closer the person is, the more tolerant you are, and the other party can understand that you are in a bad mood and forgive you, because you are a relative, so you will not cut off your feelings because of such a thing.

However, strangers are different, everyone is meeting each other, everyone's life is not easy, no one has a reason to get used to you, let you, everyone has a temper, as a stranger who has nothing to do with us, the other party has no obligation to tolerate you, and there is no reason to forgive you.

Occasionally, when you are in a bad mood, you may offend the other party, and even, you will cut off your relationship or have unnecessary conflicts, so it becomes what you say, some people are always gentle with strangers, but harsh with their relatives.

People are always like this, the closer you are to someone, the safer you are, and I know very well that you will let me and tolerate all my bad temper and bad side.

However, strangers are different, there is almost no safe range, there is not much empathy between strangers, most of them are hello and I am good to everyone, if you provoke me, I am not obligated to let you, let alone be your punching bag.

Because we don't have any sense of security with each other, the relationship with strangers is also very fragile, easy to break at the first touch, we have no expectations of strangers, and at the same time dare not take risks.

This is also why, some people have a big temper at home, like a demon king of the world, but on the outside it is a different look, because the family is full of their parents and relatives, most of the time they will spoil and get used to us, and they can do whatever they want, but outside, everyone is a stranger, and no one will get used to you unconditionally.

This is the heart of the six relatives who do not recognize, because there is a blood relationship between them, so they feel that no matter what they do, they will not leave themselves, but they are also afraid that others will leave, so they will treat strangers gently, and they also grasp everyone's psychology.

This is a very strange psychology, they think that their relatives are inseparable from them, so they are harsh on their relatives. They think that if they are friendly to outsiders, they can make a lot of money.

This kind of person should think that treating strangers gently can get a good reputation, and relatives will not care about themselves, so they will treat them harshly.

This is the psychology of vanity, they are so ambitious, they always think that what others are good, so they dislike their family very much.

These people generally feel that they are gentle with strangers, want to leave a good impression on strangers, and treat relatives harshly.

To be polite to strangers is to know the social reality, more friends and more roads, to be harsh to relatives because of nature, there are more smiling faces outside, you need to vent when you get home, you don't need to hide from your relatives, and you will release the grievances and pressures you have received outside at home. I think everyone has had this experience, the same thing, the family asks, we will be very impatient, sometimes even burst out of our negative emotions.

When we are asked by strangers or people we don't know very well, we are always polite and patiently explain to them, for fear of missing something. Psychologically speaking, there are roughly these two points: 1. Psychologically, it is explained that the relationship between close people and us is the most intimate, safest and most stable.

So, tantrums don't have to worry about affecting this intimate relationship. 2. There is no boredom caused by a sense of distance.

It is said that distance produces beauty, and being with close people for a long time will naturally blur the sense of distance in our hearts, and close people have certain expectations and requirements for us, when we can't meet this expectation and requirements, we will pass on this loss and pressure to our relatives, so there will be some emotional and verbal conflicts. Any relationship needs to be managed with care, otherwise, over time, there will be cracks. So, just like Yishu said, change this bad habit, and the world will be peaceful!

A lot of times, we are two-faced people, or people who live with masks, when we go to work, we have to talk to people with a smile and a soft voice in order to survive, you have to consider whether what you say is inappropriate, you live very carefully, when you come home, it is a harbor, you take off your mask, you no longer think about whether the language is appropriate, because you think that your family will not quit you, your family will not leave you, your family should bear this, in fact, you are wrong, your family is the object of your love, you have to cherish it. Outsiders are always outsiders and have nothing to do with your life. The person who loves you can't even cherish it, so what right do you have to love others?

I hope everyone can understand the meaning of their loved ones, which are sheltered from the wind and a symbol of home, not a place to vent unhappiness and anger. Don't let regret ruin the happiness you had.