What would you do if your husband always gives money, mother in law

I understand you very well, and the question you asked is very representative!

After the two became husband and wife, new interpersonal relationships were created, and the traditional interpersonal relationships had actually collapsed and were no longer applicable. Many people do not realize this, so contradictions inevitably arise. Similarly, the husband likes to socialize outside, the wife likes to go back to her parents' house if she has nothing to do, and as LZ said, she likes to give money to her parents privately.

What's the problem?

A new family is established, and everyone's behavioral roles have begun to change. Your personal actions do not represent yourself, but on behalf of a family. For example, we often say:

The income of both spouses belongs to the family, but the money in the family cannot be attributed to a single person. That is to say, we do not have full right to dispose of the family's property, and he must approve of the other members before he can use it!

By extension, we say that your actions represent your family, not exactly your own. When a family is established, we begin to form a reciprocal relationship with other families, and there is no dependency.

It's like the relationship between countries, even with parents. The exchange of materials is two-way and reciprocal, and the exchange of personnel is also two-way and reciprocal. The kind of people who like to give more money to their parents will definitely cause dissatisfaction among other members!

Because this is "public and private use", using family property to contact personal feelings is the same as using state money to curry favor with foreigners! In the same way, regular going out to socialize is also a kind of spending the family's financial resources and time to engage in personal emotional contact, which will also cause dissatisfaction!

Unless you turn this kind of giving money into a decent family act. For example, a formal occasion, a formal time, both husband and wife are present, and the money is presented together. The husband takes it out first, hands it over to his wife, and then gives it to her mother-in-law, and the wife explains the reason for giving the gift—it's like meeting a foreign guest anyway.

This may seem ridiculous, but it works so well that you might as well give it a try.

Discuss with him how much money you will give your mother-in-law on a monthly basis, so that you can have a plan.

Let's see what others have to say.

What do your parents have? You women can't have a big heart. Grandchildren are just as human. What is this.

You just say frankly, that we don't have any savings to buy a house yet, we have to save the rest of the money every month, and as for my mother-in-law, we will go back and see her and she will understand us. Right, or you are blowing the wind in your mother-in-law's ear and saying that the house has dropped in price recently, and you have to save money to buy a house quickly, but you are very difficult, and you have to work hard. My mother-in-law may not want it next time.

But I still think it's better to tell my husband. That's how I stopped my boyfriend, every time I came home, three or five hundred, although it wasn't much, but he didn't earn much.

I also encountered it once, it was my husband who gave my father-in-law (that is, my husband gave his father) money, and then I said to my husband, is it right for you to do this, if I didn't fulfill my daughter-in-law's responsibilities and didn't give your parents money, then you can accept it for me behind my back, but in fact, we are all too much to give to your parents, you make me very sad like this, I let my husband empathize, if he still wants to give, then his parents will give them the expenses in the future, so I will save more trouble, how to deal with his parents' illness, My husband also realized that he didn't give his parents money behind my back since then. But I want to tell you, filial piety to my parents is my responsibility as a junior, should give to parents can not give or less, as much as possible to the elderly, my first house was built on land, and later bought a house, both borrowed money from others, but the money to my mother-in-law was not less, so my mother-in-law always thought that we were very rich, don't be depressed, as long as the relationship between husband and wife is good, it is better than anything.

Survival comes first, followed by enjoyment.

The crow feeds back, you know?

This is especially true of things, how can people be worthy.

Only negotiate with the husband what to do if the life of the young couple is like this for a long time, if there is a sudden thing such as illness and hospitalization, the young couple can help if the conditions allow, if the long-term money, the two had better negotiate to prevent conflicts. It's definitely going to be said, but you have to say it well. Consult with your husband that it is the duty of a child to support your parents, and if the amount is not large, there is nothing to worry about.

If the husband has siblings, he should negotiate with him about the monthly living expenses of the parents and arrange the living expenses of the parents reasonably. Prevent conflicts with parents and at the same time make the small family stable and reconciled.

Your mother-in-law has a son with your husband, whether she has a daughter or not, if you don't frequently ask your husband for money, there must be a reason, the old man and his son only need to ask for money for a reasonable reason, or take medicine to see a doctor as a son should be given. If your mother-in-law has other children, you can explain to your husband that it is the duty and obligation to support the elderly and children, and you can't always ask your husband for money, or ask you for money to subsidize other sons or daughters. You can't just give your mother-in-law money, your own family, it's definitely not okay to do this all the time, you must discuss it with your husband.

Your mother-in-law's concept is outdated, and she has not kept pace with the times to raise children to prevent old age. Children should be responsible for honoring their parents, but parents should not hope for their children endlessly. If you can't help your son, you can't put pressure on your son!

Of course, there are exceptions to special circumstances, such as hospitalization and special needs of the husband and wife. You also have to make it clear to your husband that the money can be given but there must be a degree, and a few times a month will definitely be down to get sick and hospitalized, and because you are still alive, and your mother-in-law should also give some money every month. It is the same for those who give birth to children and daughters, and those who are daughters should also honor their parents.

Negotiate well with your husband, your husband will understand.

I think it's a very bad thing for my mother-in-law to ask her husband for money because we all have families and have to take care of our own family.

I think that if your husband's economic conditions are very good and his monthly salary is very good, and his mother-in-law and husband ask for money, you don't care, if your own family is not rich, and your husband does not make much money, you can have a good talk with your husband, live your life well, and then give your mother-in-law money when you have plenty of money.

If your mother-in-law asks your husband for money, and he has the grace to raise her, give birth to her and raise her, it is his obligation to support his parents, so if the economic conditions allow, you should not care about these idle things.

I think this situation is very abnormal, my husband can give my mother-in-law some living expenses appropriately, but if my mother-in-law frequently asks her husband for money, it means that there is a problem here, which is very abnormal.

If the mother-in-law has her own economic strength and often asks for money, it is recommended to explain to the mother-in-law that she can only give it regularly, if the mother-in-law has no economic **, as a child, she can only be filial and do her best.

I think this kind of thing is normal, your parents raise you young, you should provide for your parents, but within your own ability.

Summary. My mother-in-law treats me well, and I pretend I don't know. Since my husband gave it behind my back, he must know that I was the only accountant to give it on his back, and I will definitely tell her directly.

Mother-in-law has really reached the age of pension, what should be given must be given, no matter what mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship there is, I always believe that filial piety to parents is the obligation of children. If the mother-in-law takes the money we give and gives it to her other children, she does not use it for herself or save it. Then I won't agree to give it either.

My mother-in-law treats me well, and I pretend I don't know. Since my husband gave it behind my back, he must know that I was the only accountant to give it on his back, and I will definitely tell her directly. Mother-in-law has really reached the age of pension, what should be given must be given, no matter what mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship there is, I always believe that filial piety to parents is the obligation of children.

If the mother-in-law takes the money we give and gives it to her other children, she does not use it for herself or save it. Then I won't agree to give it either.

The husband gives the money to the mother-in-law to manage the money, which means that in the eyes of the husband, you are an outsider. After the young couple got married, it faced a new stage of life. They must realize that in the future, they will have their own honor and share, and they should be their own pillows.

Parents should know that after their children get married, they should do it independently. It is not conducive to the growth of children and can easily cause children to marry. Contradiction.

<>What does it mean for my husband to give the money to my mother-in-law?

The husband gives the money to the mother-in-law to manage the money, which means that in the eyes of the husband, you are an outsider. After the young couple got married, it faced a new stage of life. They must realize that in the future, they will have their own honor and share, and they should be their own pillows.

Parents should know that after their children get married, they should do it independently. It is not conducive to the growth of children and can easily cause children to marry. Contradiction.

<> kiss Hello!The relationship between husband and wife must focus on the construction of a sense of trust. If the sense of trust is insufficient, his recognition of you and tolerance of you will be poor!

As a result, he is easy to doubt you, easy to find fault with you, and always blame you when you make small mistakes. In the affairs between husband and wife, there is generally no third party to intervene, and neither can the mother-in-law, and the husband hands over the money to the mother-in-law, not you, then you must discuss it carefully. <>

If you find that your husband is giving money to your mother-in-law behind your back, here are some suggestions:

1.Communicate with your husband: First, communicate with your husband and let him know that you found out about the money he gave to his mother-in-law behind his back.

Express your feelings and concerns and ask him why he is doing it. Maybe he has some plausible explanation, or maybe he realizes that his actions are causing you trouble. Manuscript of the Imperial Song.

2.Establish a relationship of transparency: Transparency is very important in a couple's relationship.

If you feel that your husband is not transparent enough when it comes to his finances, you can make suggestions such as making a regular joint family budget or establishing a common financial account so that you can manage and monitor household expenses together.

3.Determine a fair way to share: If your family needs to give your parents financial support, you can discuss and determine a fair way to share.

For example, you can discuss with your husband that you can give your mother-in-law a fixed amount of living expenses every month, so that your husband can avoid making secret transfers behind your back.

4.Respect each other's feelings: It is very important to respect each other's feelings in your marital relationship.

If your husband is giving money to your mother-in-law behind your back, it may make you feel neglected or disrespected. In this case, you need to have an open conversation with your husband so that he understands your feelings and looks for solutions to the problem together.

Summary. Hello, I'm happy to answer for you, why don't you tell your wife if your husband gives money to your mother-in-law, generally because your husband tells your wife, you are afraid that your wife will be angry, or some wives are unwilling to let your husband give money to your mother-in-law.

Hello this day, I am happy to answer for you, my husband gives my mother-in-law money, why don't I tell my wife, in general, because my husband tells my wife, I am afraid that my wife will be angry, or I am cautious that some wives are unwilling to let Lao Qingjing give money to my mother-in-law.

Because the topic of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship is a topic that everyone knows, most mother-in-law and daughter-in-law Fengchun have a bad relationship with each other, and this situation is also known to Lao Yindong Naigong, so she gives her mother money, and does not give her wife to say, she is also afraid that her wife will be unhappy, and she is afraid that his wife will be angry that his wife will not let her mother give money, so she simply does not tell her wife.

Of course, it is not right for the husband to do this, he should not hide this matter from his wife's smile, that is, it is best to discuss with his wife for his mother's money, so that he also respects his wife, and also reduces his wife's suspicion of himself, which can increase everyone's trust.