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When I was a child, I always thought that traveling around the world was reasonable, but then I learned that the world is never reasonable, observing the marriages of the people around you, as long as your husband likes to argue about right and wrong, and is reasonable in everything, then the family will definitely not be happy, some husbands always do not like reason, pretend to be stupid about everything, as long as the wife is angry, he will admit and apologize, such a family is happy, trivial things in marriage are the same, if every little thing is judged to be right or wrong, Then there will never be an end.
Women don't want men to analyze <> from a neutral point of view
However, as long as a person learns to deal with it, he can still find a little sweetness in the trivial life, in fact, the best way to get along with marriage is "unreasonable", from your own point of view, this is enough to give yourself some comfort, what can be solved by hugging, you have to express your inner thoughts, this kind of thing is not big, but it accumulates more and more, and inevitably you will involuntarily settle down, and after a long time, the two choose to divorce.
The biggest difference between men and women is that men love reason, while women hate to listen to reason
People who like reasoning believe that some aspects are better than others and have a sense of superiority。This advantage is very helpful in a career, but it is not suitable for family use, the emotions themselves of a woman are sensitive and fluctuate a lot, when a man directly denies her with a superior attitude, it can make the woman feel unequal, therefore, her heart will be full of resentment, even if she is wrong, she will have to fight against you, in addition, if both people are unwilling to give in, it will definitely affect the relationship between husband and wife.
As a woman, what she needs most is not her husband's accusations and complaints, but a kind reminder <>
A comforting word when you make a mistake, a hug when you are sad, many couples think that two people end up separating due to different three views, in fact, there are so many couples, how can they have the same three views,In the family, many things cannot be distinguished from right and wrong, they only become more and more chaotic。The worst outcome is a quarrel between the two, but the quarrel will only hurt the couple, and home is not a place of reasoning, but of love.
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Because after two people fall in love, they don't need to be reasonable, they just need to take each other to heart and treat him well.
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Because quarrels in marriage will also increase the feelings of two people, unreasonable will also make the other party feel interesting to themselves, and love will also have a sense of freshness.
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Because reasoning hurts feelings, two people want each other's tolerance when they are together, not the other party's reasoning with themselves.
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Because women are unreasonable, as a man, only according to the wishes of women, so that family life can be happy.
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I believe that for couples, they are full of infinite expectations for their marriage, because we know that the reason why couples can be together is because they like each other, and it is precisely because they like each other that they will marry each other.
For couples, they also want their married life to be happier, although we see many people, their married life is indeed very happy and beautiful.
But we still see a small number of people who have all kinds of problems after marriage. There are even some things that they can't bear, so some people want to know what kind of relationship mode is the most unbearable in marriage.
We've seen couples who have had problems after they got married. Not only do they complain about each other, but they are also unwilling to solve problems, and they even get along with each other in a Cold War way. In this way, they don't just care for each other and love each other.
And they will also ignore each other through the Cold War. This way of getting along is actually very hurtful to their feelings.
When Brother Ran slipped, we saw that there were also some couples who got along together but didn't know how to care for and love each other. They are usually just busy with their own work, but they don't have any care and love for each other. I believe that it is very difficult to have a good love in this way.
So we see that for couples, of course, they want their married life to be happier and better. But we still see that some couples have all kinds of problems when they get along. Even they get along together.
It also makes the other party unbearable. So some people just want to know what kind of relationship mode is the most unbearable in marriage.
We have seen some couples who have problems after marriage and are always unable to understand and support each other very well. They even complained to each other. Pira, but also between them.
Users also treat each other in a cold war way, so that it is difficult for two people to get together and get along well. And we also see some couples, they are usually busy with their own work, and they don't know how to care for and take care of each other. This mode of getting along is also difficult for them to bear.
Therefore, we hope that as husband and wife, they should still get along well together, not only to learn to understand and support each other, but more importantly, they must also learn to care and take care of each other, only in this way can the husband and wife get together better, and finally make their married life happier and better.
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Song Ningfeng and Zhang Wanting are a pair. One is used to being a "gas bag", whether he is ridiculed by his partner or hurt his self-esteem, he always looks like he wants to explain but has no chance to explain, and the other is to suppress his partner when he has the opportunity, be aggressive, and never speak well.
Zhang Wanting and Song Ningfeng were married in a flash, they knew each other for less than a month Zhang Wanting was pregnant, and the two got married until the child was born, and there were all kinds of contradictions between the two, Zhang Wanting still commented on this relationship in an interview - we are not familiar with each other.
The audience thinks it's very strange, three or two months of marriage can be said to be unfamiliar, and children have been born for so long and still can't be acquainted, how should this kind of marriage be lived?
In this marriage, quarrels are full of them, Zhang Wanting feels that Song Ningfeng doesn't love her enough, and keeps asking for love, but what is the love in Zhang Wanting's mouth?
It is the partner who has to notice her emotional changes all the time, it is to save face for her in front of outsiders, it is the partner who can't fight back, the old man scolds and doesn't return the scolding, and it is the divorced Song Ningfeng who meets Zhang Wanting, who is willing to give birth to him and is ten years younger than him, so he has to love her unconditionally.
And what did this woman who asked for love from her partner do? Blaming and suppressing the partner, not respecting the partner's right to speak, and removing the partner's face for the sake of his own face......All in all, the series of operations is very suffocating. There are several scenes that are most impressive:
One is three pairs of "husband and wife" sitting on the moving bus laughing and chatting, Zhang Wanting's spearhead suddenly pointed at Song Ningfeng, and said in front of everyone that Song Ningfeng had a good life and found a good wife like himself, unlike his own hard life, he found a drag oil bottle like Song Ningfeng.
If it hurts her partner's self-esteem very much, Zhang Wanting can blurt it out without thinking, indicating that in places we can't see, similar "verbal violence" often happens.
Just look at Song Ningfeng's expression, embarrassed and a little submissive.
The second is that Song Ningfeng and Lu Ge are happily playing frisbee, Zhang Wanting chatting with several other guests, speaking of Song Ningfeng, using the word "sinner", and immediately after Song Ningfeng sat down after playing frisbee, he turned on the attack mode - disgusted that he was not qualified as an actor, because he couldn't even detect his wife's emotions; If he dislikes the belt, he doesn't know people, and he has such a good time with the insincere Lu Ge; He was forbidden to speak and deprived him of the right to express himself.
Zhang Wanting felt that what she said was reasonable, and finally left very angrily.
The third scene is a love letter read by a waiter, Song Ningfeng said what was in his heart, and Zhang Wanting cried while listening. Just when everyone thought she was touched, she said in the interview that Song Ningfeng's love writing was particularly ridiculous and hypocritical, and shouted in front of Song Ningfeng that she would not change it, saying that what he wrote made her very faceless.
Zhang Wanting often talks about "face", most of the moments when she suppresses her partner are for face, saying that Song Ningfeng is dragging the oil bottle to show her superiority, and the accusation against Song Ningfeng after playing frisbee is that she feels that the other party has not maintained her face, and it is not right to write love letters because he has made himself lose face.
But Zhang Wanting should never have reflected that when she suppressed and blamed her partner in front of everyone, she lost her face.
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In a marital relationship, reasoning is important because it helps solve problems, clear up misunderstandings, and promote communication and understanding. However, relying too much on reasoning can lead to emotional estrangement, so it is also necessary to use sensibility and emotion appropriately when dealing with certain issues. Here are some concrete examples of the importance of reasoning and emotional balance in marriage:
1.Division of housework: In the division of housework, reasoning can help both parties reach a consensus and divide the appropriate housework tasks.
However, if you put too much emphasis on reason, you may lose sight of each other's emotional needs. For example, if one partner may need more support due to a busy schedule, the other partner should pay attention to the other party's feelings and adjust the division of household chores appropriately.
2.Money management: When it comes to money management, reasoning can help couples reach a common understanding and create a reasonable budget and savings plan.
However, relying too much on reasoning can lead to emotional distancing. For example, one party may need additional expenses for special reasons, and the other party should care about the needs of the other party and provide support.
3.Caring for children: When it comes to caring for children, reasoning can help couples agree on educational philosophies and methods.
However, if you put too much emphasis on reason, you may lose sight of your child's emotional needs. For example, one party may need more care because of the pressure of work, and the other party should pay attention to the other party's feelings and adjust the childcare division appropriately.
4.Dealing with conflicts: When dealing with conflicts, reasoning can help both parties get to the root of the problem and find a solution.
However, relying too much on reasoning can lead to emotional depression. For example, when dealing with a conflict, both parties should express their feelings, listen to the other person, and then seek a solution that is both emotional and reasonable.
In conclusion, in marriage, both reasoning and emotional balance are very important. Reasoning can help couples solve problems, while focusing on emotional needs can maintain intimacy between couples. When dealing with problems, both parties should take into account both reason and emotion in order to achieve the best marital status.
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Many conflicts between husband and wife are due to the lack of empathy for each other, focusing on the facts and the results, but only ignoring the emotions of the parties and the urgency of wanting to be cared for.
Being reasonable is a good thing, but if everything is reasonable in a marriage, not only will it not be convincing, but it will also make two people go further and further.
Yuval Harari once said in his book A Brief History of Mankind:
Men and women have different brain structures in order to survive and evolve.
In ancient times, men played the role of hunters, while women often got together to discuss parenting scriptures, and played a role in coordination and communication in the group.
In the movie "The Disappeared Lover", there is such a line: Two people love each other, but they can't manage their marriage, which is the real tragedy.
It is not difficult to fall in love, but the dull life after the novelty of difficulty requires two people to have enough courage and patience to learn to love and be loved, to practice understanding and tolerance, and to grow and hide together in the years.
May all those who love each other, holding the hand of the son, help each other to grow old.
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Summary. Some people say that marriage is a place of feelings, not a place of reasoning. I very much agree with this statement, because the marriage itself is established because of the feelings of two people, if you blindly reason and not emotionally, it will only make two people more and more identious, unlike husband and wife, the most important thing between husband and wife is that the above is mine.
Is there anything unreasonable and unreasonable in marriage? If so, give examples (don't talk useless nonsense, just give examples).
Excuse me, but please go into more detail?
Some people say that marriage is a place of feelings, not a place of reasoning. I very much agree with this statement, because the marriage itself is because of the feelings of two people to be cautiously established, if you blindly reason and not emotional, it will only make two people more and more identious, unlike husband and wife, the most important thing between husband and wife is that the above Ming Jing is mine.
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First of all, let's talk about the way of judging right and wrong, there are two ways to judge a person's right and wrong, the first is morality, the second is the law, when a person does not violate morality and does not violate the law, then the boundary between right and wrong is more blurred, this is a subjective judgment, and in marriage, you will find that all quarrels are emotional, the so-called right and wrong, is just to find a point to vent for your emotions, and accuse the other party of being wrong in your own subjective assumptions. But the so-called right and wrong cannot be measured by morality and law at all, and may just be a subjective emotional kidnapping in the heart.
The most fearful thing in marriage is to stand on their own point of view and talk to themselves, only seeing their own interests and ignoring the tolerance of each other. Some people say that home is the most unreasonable place, and this is true, because home is not a place that is too reasonable, the reason is because home is a particularly emotional place, and here it is not rational but emotional.
After arriving at home, we will take out the most real side, and there is no need to beware of who can harm us, in the family of the sail filial piety to see the appearance is often the most real look, and home is also the most relaxed place for everyone, the warmth of the family comes from the fetters of family affection, the dependence of family affection is genes and blood, this is the most stable one of the social relations, the existence of marriage is a way to create this stable relationship, marriage only talks about feelings and does not talk about right and wrong, my view of the sedan chair is, A person who is truly in love, no matter what he does, you will forgive him, even if he does something that is very wrong, in your heart you still will not treat him as a sinner.
To sum up, in addition to the standards of morality and law, there is no way to accurately judge right and wrong between feelings in marriage, so in marriage we often talk about feelings, in short, do you love me? If you love me, you must tolerate me, let me, and forgive me.
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