No funny, are there any jokes? Recommend me a few

1. The child kept crying, and the father asked him why, and the child said, "I'm hungry...

Dad said, "Son, whatever you want to eat, just say, even if it's dragon liver and phoenix marrow, Dad will get it for you." ”

The child said, "All I have to eat ...

Dad scolded: "This Diao child, there is nothing you want to eat." ”

2. Watching TV with my parents, I suddenly thought of something fun and laughed to myself.

My father looked at me inexplicably and said to my mother, "Your daughter's brain is broken." ”

The old mother immediately retorted to him: "Your daughter's brain is broken!" ”

3. "Dad, I have calculated this arithmetic problem nine times in a row and found that there are nine answers. ”

What a good child! Okay, try hard a little bit more and try to have ten answers. ”

4. The youngest daughter asked her mother: "You said that man was created by God, but Dad said that man was transformed from an ape." Isn't that contradictory? ”

The mother said to her daughter, "Baby, it's not contradictory at all. To put it simply, Mommy's family was created by God, while your Dad's family was transformed from apes. ”

1. I received a ** from abroad today!

I panicked when I looked at the caller ID, and then cautiously asked, "Can I help you?" ”

As a result, a sentence came from the microphone: "Damn, I made a mistake, I made a mistake!" ”

2. Today, when I applied for a job in a foreign company, the interviewer asked me: "Why did you choose to work in a foreign company?" ”

I said to the gods: "Master Yi's long skills to control Yi!" ”

3. Student A: Yesterday I made a dish with wires on the pot ball.

Student B: That's good news!

Student A: Why?

Student B: This means that the cafeteria has started to brush the pots.

4. Humans can't stop teachers from assigning homework!! The teacher brought over a dozen rolls and put them on the table, and when they left, the students said in unison, "Teacher, your dozen!" ”

The teacher looked back and smiled: "It's your dozen." ”

5. When a classmate took a taxi back to school, he complained to his brother: "Your car is so boring, you don't even have a **." ”

Brother: "Then you'd better take a fire truck and a sprinkler truck." ”

6. A couple was playing in the park and accidentally found an old man in disheveled clothes behind them. The girl pulled her boyfriend and said, "Hurry up, there is someone to eat behind", and the old man followed closely.

The girl thought: Oh my God! It was so difficult, so he stopped and said coldly to the old man: "No money! ”

The old man smiled. "I know you don't have any money, my wallet is here."

You, Youmu and Weibo, listen to "We Love to Tell Bad Jokes", just watch it every day, ......

It was snowing, and I went out to see an uncle fall.

I went over and asked, "Uncle, my monthly salary is less than 2,000 yuan, can I help you up?" ”

Uncle: "Young man, you go, I'll wait a while."

I was so moved that I quickly said, "Uncle, there's a Ferrari over there."

The uncle also said excitedly: "You young man. It's quite real, don't leave me to be a witness, and buy you a car to go to work and drive ...... when you're done”

Although the weather is cold, the uncle's words are warm and full of positive energy.

One day, the wolf was going to eat three piglets. Two of the three little pigs are at the doorway and one is on the roof. (Pig A and Pig B are at the doorway, and Pig C is on the roof.) Pig A's name is "who", pig B's name is "where", and pig C's name is "what". So:

Wolf: "Who are you?" ”

Pig A: "Yes! ”

Wolf: "What? ”

Pig A: "'What' on the roof. ”

Wolf: "What is your name, I mean?" ”

Pig A: "My name is 'who', 'what' on the roof!" ”

The wolf asked Pig B again.

Wolf: "Who are you?" ”

Pig B: "I'm not 'who', he's 'who' (referring to Pig A.)." ”

Wolf: "You know him?" ”

Pig B: "Hmm! ”

Wolf: "Who is he?" ”

Pig B: "Yes. ”

Wolf: "What?" ”

Pig B: "'What' on the roof!" ”

Wolf: "Where?" ”

Pig B: "'Where' is me." ”

Wolf: "Who?" ”

Pig B: "Who is he." (pointing to pig A)".

Wolf: "How do I know?" ”

Pig B: "Who are you looking for?" ”

Wolf: "What? ”

Pig B: "He's on the roof." ”

Wolf: "Where?" ”

Pig B: "It's me." ”

Wolf: "Who?" stool and".

Pig B: "I'm not 'who', he's 'who'".

Wolf: "Oh my God! ”

Pig A Pig B: "Oh my God" is our dad! ”

Wolf: "What, your father?" ”

Pig B: "No! ”

The wolf couldn't stand it anymore, and looked up to the sky and sighed: "Why? ”

Pigs A, B, C: "Do you know our grandfather?" ”

Wolf: "What? ”

Pig A: "No, our grandfather is 'why'. ”

Wolf: "Why? ”

Pig A: "Yes! ”

Wolf: "What is it?" ”

Pig A: "No, 'why'. ”

Wolf: "Who?" ”

Pig A: "Who am I?" ”

Wolf: "Who are you?" ”

Pig A": To Mingxian, I am 'who'. ”

Wolf: "What? ”

Pig A, B: "He's on the roof." ”

Version 1: It is said that there is a penguin, and his home is very far from the polar bear's house, and if you rely on it, it will take 20 years to get there. One day, the penguin was very bored at home, and was about to go to play with the polar bear, and he went out, but when he was halfway to the road, he found that he forgot to turn off the gas in his house, which has been gone for 10 years, but the gas still has to be turned off, so the penguin walked home to turn off the gas.

After turning off the gas, the penguin set off again to find the polar bear, which means that it took him 40 years to get to the polar bear ...... their homeThen the penguin knocked on the door and said, "Polar bear, polar bear, the penguin is here to play with you!" "As a result, after the polar bear opened the door, guess what he said......"I'm not playing with you!

Version 2: It is said that there is a penguin, and his home is very far from the polar bear's house, and if you rely on it, it will take 20 years to get there. One day, the penguin was very bored at home, and was about to go to play with the polar bear, and he went out, but when he was halfway to the road, he found that he forgot to lock the door, which has been gone for 10 years, but the door still had to be locked, so the penguin walked home again to lock the door.

After locking the door, the penguin set off again to look for the polar bear, which means that it took him 40 years to reach the polar bear ...... their homeThen the penguin knocked on the door and said, "Polar bear, polar bear, the penguin is here to play with you!" "As a result, after the polar bear opened the door, guess what he said......"Let's go to your house and play".

Version 3: It says that there is a penguin, and his home is very far from the polar bear's house, and if you rely on it, it will take 20 years to get there. One day, the penguin was very bored at home, and was going to play with the polar bear, and he went out, but when he was halfway to the road, he found that the refrigerator at home had forgotten to turn off, which had been gone for 10 years, but the refrigerator still had to be turned off, so the penguin walked home to close the refrigerator.

After turning off the refrigerator, the penguin set off again to look for the polar bear, which means that it took him 40 years to get to the polar bear ...... their homeThen the penguin knocked on the door and said, "Polar bear, polar bear, the penguin is here to play with you!" As a result, the polar bear didn't even open the door this time and shouted outside:

I don't play! Version 4: Say that there is a penguin, his home is very far from the polar bear's house, and if you have to walk, it will take 20 years to get there. One day, the penguin was very bored at home, and was going to play with the polar bear, and he went out, but when he was halfway to the road, he found that the refrigerator at home had forgotten to turn off, which had been gone for 10 years, but the refrigerator still had to be turned off, so the penguin walked home to close the refrigerator.

After turning off the refrigerator, the penguin set off again to look for the polar bear, which means that it took him 40 years to get to the polar bear ...... their homeThen the penguin knocked on the door and said, "Polar bear, polar bear, the penguin is here to play with you!" As a result, the polar bear was not there, and the neighbor seal told him that the polar bear had just come home yesterday, saying that he had forgotten to turn off the refrigerator and had set off to play with the penguins today.

There was a polar bear and a penguin playing together, and the penguin plucked the feathers off his body one by one, and when he was done, he said to the polar bear"It's so cold! ”

When the polar bear heard this, he also plucked the hair off his body one by one, turned his head to the penguin and said:

Sure enough, it was cold! ”