For the first time to write a poem, I sincerely ask Yazheng, write a poem, and help Yazheng

There are many kinds of poems that do not have to rhyme, if the words are not accurate for the sake of rhyme, and the feeling of expression is not accurate, it will become the pursuit of form and ignore the content.

I think your poems are expressing the perception of life at the age of 20-30, and you are exactly that.

of this age group.

From the feeling point of view, I think the first half of you is expressing a kind of plain and deep love for life.

Hope, expresses the desire for vitality, why can there be such an expression, just because you have encountered it in life.

The unsatisfactory thing seems to be quite deep, and this is also written in the last paragraph.

Life has hit you, given you sorrow, troubles, depression, heartache? Maybe you're doing something before.

Something deeply regretted, and at the same time very unwilling, so --- you choose to start another on a quiet moonlit night.

Segment drifting. And after this drift, there will be another drift, and each of us will experience a lot.

process, a lot of reincarnation. When encountering unsatisfactory things:

What's left? Just two frozen tears.

A stubborn stone refuses to be sad.

A determination to wait for reincarnation.

As for the poetry that conveys beauty itself, I don't think it's necessary to evaluate her with boring theories.

As long as I feel it, it's fine, and I can roughly see my philosophy of life from mine haha

What you write about is drifting, a bit off topic, death or life, only a certain form can be considered drifting.

Is it written about the yearning for freedom and the pursuit of ideals? The artistic conception is beautiful, and the grasp of the language is also very good.

To write poetry, you must learn to rhyme, and only when you read it can you have a poetic taste.

Putting aside the rhythm or anything, the emotional transition of each sentence is too fast and lacks tactful transition. For example, the first sentence to the second sentence was originally pride, why did the sky suddenly not learn from it? There is no cause and effect, and it feels a little abrupt.

Then come to the second to the third sentence, immediately after the sky does not learn, I immediately look back at Hongchen, and the emotional changes during this period are not expressed, and the thoughts are too floating again, and there is no actual connotation. The last sentence should be said to be a summary of all emotions, but it only uses the very common drunkenness to relieve sorrow and sleeplessness, and fails to form emotional sublimation.

Personally, I read poetry very directly, or rather, it is all based on intuitive feelings, so if there is something wrong, please ask the landlord Haihan.

By the way, although the quatrains of near-style poems, that is, rhythmic poems, have metrical regulations, they are not available in ancient poems. Moreover, there are various forms such as music and folk songs, which do not necessarily have to be required according to the standards of the grid. I think the most important thing is to express my emotions

The proud world looks up to the sky, and the pride is in the sky.

You have a pure heart, and the sky is not merciful.

Looking back at the red dust, my thoughts are full of thoughts.

Spirits are difficult to relieve sorrows, and heart knots are worrisome. A few words of gibberish. Laugh!

The end of the first sentence and the end of the second sentence are both heavenly words, which will give people a sense of repetition.

Many places are not ideal, such as "blue sky" and "cloud sky" are the same, and it seems a bit poor to squeeze into one sentence. "Blue sky" may be better if it is replaced with "sky".

The whole song is a little confused, that is, the theme is not obvious enough, and I don't know whether I want to express heroic spirit or children's feelings.

First, one or two sentences end with a "day", giving people a sense of repetition;

Second, from the perspective of format, this is a five-character rhythm poem, but the rhythm poem stipulates that the jaw couplet and the neck couplet must be dual, which is a flaw in this poem, and I hope to revise it!

Yazheng: In the Southern Song Dynasty lexicology"Yazheng"Said to have a strong academic background. At its roots,"Yazheng"The theoretical basis of the theory is precisely the one that has a strong scientific color since the Nandu"Chongzheng"Theory; In terms of its theoretical characteristics,"Yazheng"The focus is not on establishing an art theory with rich connotations, but on the following"Positive"The word is not"Positive", advocating"Orthodoxy"The meaning is very strong; In terms of its academic tendencies,"Yazheng"It is said quite in the field of science"Taoism"Inheritance, not only"Set at one"of"Legitimacy"Traces of lexicology, and there is a similar science"Taoism"A clear lineage.

Ask for advice and say, "Please advise"; Ask someone to correct and say, "Please be elegant."

Discussion: Life is not for leisurely life, life should be colorful.

Thinking too much behind closed doors should be vigilant.

Discard the gray outlook on life.

Reply: The days are leisurely and comfortable, I just hate that life is too dull, it is difficult to make a car behind closed doors, and I go straight to the point and climb high.

Life is inherently interesting.

It's a pleasure to meet you again today.

Could it be that God also has intentions.

Gather across the screen.

What do you want in the world, all the trivial things in the mortal world are melancholy. but troubled, seven emotions and six desires are thrown into the sky; Drunk and looking at the red dust, everything is free with the wind.

Man lives a lifetime.

Autumn of grass and trees. Born to be annoyed.

It's complicated everywhere. It's better to rest.

Live with me.