Question No, what can the answer be

Focus Intermediate 10th Growth Sharing Day 259 2019-02-25

The question is the answer, which means that the answer is determined by the question asked, that is, the person asking the question determines the outcome of the answer.

Sometimes we see someone talking endlessly, but in the end the final decision is made by the person next to him who seems to be not speaking, who has been listening, who has been asking questions.

We look at the illusion that the speaker is very powerful, but in fact, the person who asks the question is a master, which is called the question determines the answer.

For example, if we want to make someone happy or sad, it is up to the person asking the question to decide. If you want him to be happy, you ask him what he likes, what he cares about, what he is happy about, so that he will be happy. If you want him to be sad, you ask him about things he doesn't like or like, so that he gets down.

In fact, our children's emotions are also determined by the questions we ask.

For example, when your child comes home from school, and you want your child to be unhappy, you ask him, is his homework done? Is there a lot of homework? What homework did the teacher assign? If you failed the exam last time, what are you going to do, etc., keep mentioning the sad things about him, and he will be unhappy.

If you want to make your child happy, you should mention the things that your child is happy about, proud of, and like, such as: Child, how did you do it last time you won first place in the competition? The child will change from sadness to joy, and his state will be different.

Happiness is a feeling, and so is self-confidence. Parents often mention something, and the child will stay at that level.

Therefore, an optimistic parent, a wise parent, mention the good things of the child, so that the child will be full of confidence, confidence and optimism.

The same is true in our counseling, when we pay more attention to the positive side of the client, pay attention to his successful experience, appreciate and praise the client from the heart, give him positive guidance, ask him less "why", ask him more "how", believe that he is an expert in his own problems, then the client's problems can be solved by themselves.

So, we have to be a person who asks questions, because all answers are determined by the person who asks the question.

I don't know if you have ever had such an experience, you read one page of a book, and after reading it, you can't remember what you read, and even after reading it again, you still can't remember, why is this happening? The answer is that you are asking the wrong question, and you are not asking the right question.

I used to be very unconfident and envious of those who had achieved fame. I said to myself, I'm not like them, they have all kinds of resources, I don't, I'm stupid. Repeatedly ask yourself why I'm not smart enough, why am I not good enough? Why can't I get people to like me?

You see, after I came to such a conclusion about myself. The brain will make us pay attention to all kinds of evidence, and try our best to look around for evidence, so as to come up with the answer "I can't" to verify and support the correctness of our conclusions. These negative issues attract our attention, which affects our inner feelings and ultimately changes our attitude towards life.

In the past, I was always entangled in not being able to let others like me, setting limits on myself, and I didn't dare to express my intentions directly at any time. Because I always set myself up with an inexplicable unliked character, and then wrote and acted myself to verify my innocence and force majeure. If you always ask yourself countless times, how to make others like you, and always shape yourself according to the preferences of the people around you, such a life must be a life without yourself.

So, the question itself is the answer. You can try to ask yourself, I want to live a meaningful life, how can I make myself better......

Every day I wake up to a new life. Tell yourself that I'm good. Looking up at the starry sky, although it can't shine on the earth like the moon, but the hungry can be in the starry sky, shining.

I asked the teacher: Why can't I balance my family and career? Why can't I have everything I want?

"Why," she says, is of two kinds. A question of why is out of curiosity, which is equivalent to how come, and the purpose of asking this why is to understand, to explore.

The other kind of question is why I can't figure it out, and it's with negative emotions. Why is life so unfair? Why can't my husband take out the garbage when he goes out in the morning?

Why am I wearing so much when it's so hot today? Why can't I have everything I want? Why is the second one you ask?

The reason why you ask why is because you feel that it is wrong or bad to have this. However, it doesn't help you in any way, because you don't have the answer. Sometimes some people can weigh family and career, while others have to choose between family and career.

It's a different life for everyone. Therefore, from now on, you should consciously avoid asking why, except for asking why with curiosity and sexuality. If you have to ask, you don't need to ask why, but how, and when.

Indeed, after some negative experiences and emotions, we instinctively want to find the answer and want a statement, so we instinctively throw the "why" to ourselves, and let ourselves bear unnecessary confusion and endless confusion, even uneasiness and anxiety, until we fall into self-blame and self-doubt, only to find that the problem thrown at us is not solved.

So, don't ask why, because there are just some questions that don't have answers.