How to eliminate the flood of dependence and compassion

The best way to eliminate the sense of dependence is to be as independent as possible, don't think about what you want others to accompany, don't do it if others don't accompany you or feel that you can't do it well, it's best to live alone for a period of time and get used to it slowly.

As for compassion, it is good for a person to have compassion, but the overflow of compassion will make people sometimes very difficult, you had better know what to help and what not to help, what is really worthy of your sympathy, what is not necessary to sympathize, don't follow other people's ideas, others feel that you should sympathize, you should sympathize, have your own ideas. Some people have done something wrong themselves, and although they later know that they were wrong, they have to bear the consequences for it, do you want to help or not to help at this time? Help?

Is it worth it? Helped this time, what about next time? Will they remember without a lesson?

Don't help? What if someone says you have no conscience? And so on, you have to have your own ideas, if you can't guarantee that you have independent thinking, and you will only follow the ideas of others, then compassion or something, it is also in the heart of the herd, as long as you can't firm up your own ideas, then the sympathy is overflowing, you can't completely change it.

How to eliminate the sense of dependence The cultivation of a sense of independence should learn to no longer rely on others, encounter problems, learn to solve them alone, eat, go shopping and slowly start to be alone, learn to do their own things, and when the habit is formed, it will naturally no longer rely on others. But forgiveness.

I bluntly said that although you have to cultivate a sense of dependence, you must be mentally prepared, this is a difficult change, in fact, some people will not leave you, as long as you learn to love yourself, it doesn't matter if you have a sense of dependence.

How to overcome the overflow of compassion Review yourself well and evaluate the other person, don't use your overflowing compassion to dedicate to someone who has no intention of you, because the love you have given will never be recouped.

In love, serious inattentiveness can be forgiven, but no infaithfulness can be forgiven. If you're going to be together until you're old.

Don't easily guess the other person's heart, maybe the truth is not what you think.

Recognize the dangers of emotional dependence, which is bound to cause an unnecessary burden on those close to you.

So you have to say to yourself that you have to change, that you have to learn to be alone, that you have to enjoy loneliness.

Only a change in perception can lead to a change in action.

There are also women who basically have dependent personalities, probably related to women's natural temperament.

Sometimes I'm quite dependent on others, so I have a dependent character, and you shouldn't blame yourself too much.

Therefore, the dependency exists, and that is a question of degree.

You're a little deep.

It is recommended that you expand your social circle and communicate more with family and friends.

At the same time, it is also necessary to learn to cultivate the character of solitude, in fact, everyone cannot be with others all the time, there will be lonely times.

And when you think about him, you can also divert your attention, such as trying to do something you like to do.

In fact, it's good to get used to everything. Don't get too nervous, relax.

Because the two parties in love themselves are interdependent relationships, if you don't use a kind of reason to analyze emotions.

Emotional dependence is a kind of emotion that only people with weak assertiveness will appear for people with strong assertiveness and strong personality. I will always follow the steps of the identified person to choose the direction of life.

Love is a matter of two people, through the run-in between each other, slowly to understand and understand and agree or acquiesce.

In terms of emotion, dependence is a kind of trust.

In love, it is normal to have dependence. It's a matter of character and experience!

There is an example of you saying that he is more experienced than you and more assertive than you, and you will always think that he is him, so there will be dependence.

If you want to exercise your own opinions, you have to analyze and judge things by yourself, and then find useful learning from other people's ideas.

You don't know I'm thinking about you because you don't love me, I know you don't want me, but I still love you because I'm too stupid. Maybe sometimes, the escape is not because of the fear of facing something, but about waiting for something.

<>, according to autopsychology theory, strong dependence is due to a lack of empathetic understanding of parents, which is a developmental trauma and is therefore unlikely to achieve immediate change through other people's preaching or autosuggestion. If you've ever seen people with strong dependency psychology, you'll know that such personality traits will persist for a long time, and it is completely futile to rely solely on criticism and scolding.

Here I would also like to point out a common misconception among the public: when we see a child who is very dependent on his parents and feels that the mud cannot hold up the wall, we will instinctively think that severe criticism and severe tests can make him independent. The consequence of this is precisely the opposite:

Self-dysplasia is due to the lack of empathy and understanding, and the harsh treatment only reinforces this deficiency, which can only make a person more dependent, but sometimes the person changes the object of dependence, making you feel that he has grown.

For example, when you were a child, your dependence on your parents was not responded, and when you grow up and become a workaholic, your parents think that you have grown up and have a good life, but you have not established a healthy relationship with your own object.

To improve the psychology of dependence, first, receive professional psychological counseling. Establish a good counseling relationship with the counselor in the counseling relationship, present your idealization, narcissism, and relationship with your own object in the counseling relationship, and then work with the counselor to improve it. At the same time, the empathy, understanding and response provided by the counselor can also help you gain the courage to grow yourself.

This is the most reliable and fastest method, although it can take anywhere from months to years. Some people may not dare to make this investment, or think that they may be able to find a faster way, such as reading some books, taking some ** courses, etc. In fact, it's like not going to the hospital when you are sick, and relying on tonic and exercise at home to self-help, you end up in a big circle, and you will find that you still have to accept professional help.

Second, choose your friends and lovers carefully. If you do not receive counselling for various reasons, then you need to reach out to someone who can treat you gently, considerately, and respectfully, but at the same time without worrying that you are not doing a good job, and make friends or fall in love with them. People with dependency tend to get together with people who have a Madonna complex or an extreme desire for self-certification, because dependence satisfies the latter's need for self-confidence and self-worth.

But such a combination will only strengthen your dependence, because this person will become your new "lifebuoy", and sometimes he will not want you to try "swimming" because he will fear that he will no longer be needed. So being friends and partners with self-satisfied, self-recognized people can at least avoid being trapped in an unhealthy relationship of interdependence, and at the same time, the empathy you gain in the relationship can allow your ego to grow slowly.

Third, improve your emotional awareness and insight. Through mindfulness meditation, life story combing, etc., train yourself to understand, accept and process your emotions more. The problem of dependence will not disappear all at once, this long and tortuous road, on the one hand, you are walking by yourself, on the other hand, you also learn to better accompany yourself to walk.