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The worst parenting advice of the older generation of our family is that kindergarten begins to require children to be like other people's families, how many Tang poems can be memorized, can count, can write, and talk at home every day, as long as you see the child playing, watching TV will feel uncomfortable, and begin to say that you should teach him knowledge, children can not play happily in kindergarten, do you have to wait for college graduation to play freely? Will he still play then? I've always believed that children who can play are smart.
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The older generation's bad parenting experience sharing: First, good children are beaten, and sticks are filial sons. In the old days, the ring ruler in the hands of Mr. was indispensable, and he had to beat if he was not familiar with the back, and he had to beat if he made a mistake, and his parents also played at home, some because he was disobedient, and some because of the annoyance of adults, and his children as a punching bag.
Nowadays, more than half of parents still beat their children and say: It's all for your good, and you will understand when you grow up. But some parents are easy to beat, drink and beat with their lives, collapse and kick sticks, so that the child dies or seriously injures the child, does the child go to hell to grow up?
Just think about it, your son was obedient when he was beaten by you, so did he give in as soon as he was beaten outside? Do you want your son to be so spineless? Do you want your son to be a man who can't stand up for himself?
Teaching parents by word and deed is a role model for their children, either breaking out in silence or dying in silence! The personality under the stick is distorted, and he can't bear to become a bandit if he endures depression!
Second, obedient children are good boys. You have to listen to what your mother says. Mom said that in the morning, you should wash your face and wash your teeth and then sort out your schoolbag, and the child will tidy up her schoolbag first.
The child is obedient and accustomed to it, and he does not object, and does what his mother says! After a long time, the child became a puppet, and everything was decided by the mother. It's done.
Third, the big one let the small one have two babies at home, and the relatives sent a new toy, and the parents said that the elder sister should let the younger brother play first. If you can't treat your children equally, your sister will be unhappy, and your younger brother will form a selfish psychology that thinks about herself in advance. The two siblings should be allowed to compete fairly, and the winner will come first.
Fourth, the table is wrong The child fell down on the side of the table while walking, don't cry baby, grandma helped you hit the table, the table is really bad and trips the baby. Over time, it is difficult for children to find objective reasons for doing wrong things, not self-reflexing, and complaining about each other when they have conflicts with their friends.
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I think the worst and most unscientific parenting advice for the older generation is that the child falls and immediately gets up, generally speaking, the baby who can walk will get up on his own when he falls, or let his child get up on his own.
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I think the worst parenting advice among the older generation is to beat and scold your child when he is disobedient.
According to scientific research, the education of children in childhood is very important, children make mistakes, should not blindly scold and punish, but should reason with him, follow the good path, let him correct, this is the best way to educate.
If it is just beating and scolding, it is not good for the child's education and growth.
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In my opinion, the worst advice among the older generation of parenting is to let children consume salt and animal oil too early! This practice will increase the burden on the child's stomach and intestines, make the child have gastrointestinal discomfort, and may also have a weak spleen and stomach as a result.
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There are quite a lot, in the city is too pampered, in the countryside is too thrifty!
For example, in the city, grandparents are all pampered and protected, holding them in their hands for fear of falling, and holding them in their mouths for fear of melting.
The rural ones are free-range, not delicate enough, such as crawling all over the ground, not paying attention to hygiene, easy to get sick, and living habits are not good, these are very bad.
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I think the worst parenting advice for the older generation is to always take the current children according to the standard of taking care of their children in the past, sing a little thinner, saying that the child will be cold, and always feel that the child is not fed, and has been chasing and feeding the child. Because the times are different, the needs of children are different, so the way to bring up children is different.
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The worst parenting advice of the older generation is that they are always accustomed to their children, spoiled, doted in every way, and do not criticize when they are wrong, they always think that "the tree is naturally straight", but they don't know that doting is not "love", but "harm".
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It's too accustomed to the child, the child is easy to be too squeamish, and he is reluctant to take care of the child, and the other is to give the child everything to eat, which is also more disturbing.
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The old generation is not good at parenting concept is accustomed, our family is, I remember when I was a child, my parents always let us do this and that, summer vacation also went to the field to pull weeds, hot sweat, now to the little grandson and granddaughter that is called a pampered, never work, everything to help them get good, several years old and still feed, the child's parents have no time to care, are the old people with children, so that they are not eating well now, and always urging, a lot of bad habits are formed before, the next generation with children is really a lot of problems.
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I think the worst parenting advice for the older generation is that heck, it's okay, the kids are still young. This sentence is not a reason for a child to make mistakes, we should correct her and not just because she is young and ignorant can do bad things casually.
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I think the older generation should not take care of the advice is that the older generation left a series of bad living habits, their way of bringing the baby is a relatively old idea and old way, for example, the old people love to dance square dance, and want to take the child, so they take the child to dance the square dance, and the child finally dances the square dance, and the older generation of urban children is the old man in the countryside, some habits of the old people in the countryside are not good, do not teach the child well, teach the child to beat him, scold him, the child at that age and do not know the right and wrong, can not distinguish whether it should or not, Just learn to scold, hit people if you're not right, you have to hit people if you can't beat them, and you will develop if you are not polite, some parents will be better educated, and children will learn to be polite when they grow up, so the education of children when they are young is quite important.
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The worst parenting experience of the older generation is that they think that the child will never be full, will never grow up, and will always decide this decision and that for the child.
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The pampering of the next generation is very bad, always compared with the bad, always feel that it is already possible, don't be too demanding, did not think that the competition will become more and more fierce in the future, and now there are fewer children many times, and the right encouragement and guidance are needed, so that children can confidently solve problems by themselves.
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I think one of the worst behaviors is to spoil, that is, no matter what he does wrong. Well, how did he do some very excessive things, he will always say it's okay, it's okay, and then don't do it next time, wouldn't it be nice or something. I feel that if I do something wrong, I should criticize, criticize him, and punish him.
Because if you don't point out clearly that he's wrong, he doesn't think he's wrong, and he'll do it later.
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The worst parenting advice for the older generation is to hold your baby's armpits and let him learn to walk, or let your baby walk in a walker. The older generation always hopes that their babies will learn to walk as soon as possible, so that they don't have to hold them all the time, and they can show off to their neighbors, but this behavior of forcing the baby to learn to walk as soon as possible is harmful to the baby. Generally speaking, it is normal for babies to walk independently between the ages of one and one and a half years, but if you deliberately allow your baby to stand and walk too early, it may put pressure on your baby's leg bones and should be stopped immediately.
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I'd rather believe in home remedies, soil methods, goddesses, and traveling doctors, rather than listen to doctors. I think that the hospital is all about cheating money, and if there is any big problem with children, just go home and bask in the sun, do massage, drink some herbs, acupuncture, burn, and bleed. "The old Wang Keling next door to our village is gone, just go find him.
I met such a patient this month. The 20-day-old baby was taken by his parents to "be shocked" because of his terrible crying. How to collect it?
Prick the belly with a needle. Half a day after the stabbing, he had a fever. The child has a high fever and can only be admitted to the NICU (neonatal intensive care unit) when he comes to the hospital.
When the child was admitted to the hospital, he was in great pain, and he cried and trembled when he touched his stomach lightly. Persistent high fever, laboratory indicators are severe, and there are signs of sepsis. There was no significant improvement with the highest grade antibiotics, and there were also signs of intestinal obstruction.
Consult a pediatric surgeon, consider the presence of congenital developmental abnormalities or severe intestinal necrosis, and recommend that the baby go for surgery for exploratory laparotomy.
Therefore, tracheal intubation and laparotomy were performed under general anesthesia. After the operation, it was found that there was an obvious abscess foci in the abdominal cavity deep into the navel, and there was diffuse peritonitis. There is no abnormality in the development of the intestinal tube, but it is a paralytic intestinal obstruction caused by too severe infection.
So where did this foci of infection in the deep part of the navel come from? It came in from the wound where the needle was pricked at the time. Because this acupuncture is not a sterile operation, bacteria will enter the body through the hole, and in general, it is common to cause local abscesses.
But this baby has an umbilical hernia, the navel is very thin, the abdominal muscles are separated, and the peritoneum is below. When punctured with a needle, the needle can easily penetrate the abdominal cavity, causing the infection to spread to the abdominal cavity, causing severe sepsis, sepsis, and septic shock.
Schematic diagram of umbilical hernia drawn by yourself.
Therefore, a home remedy with a needle will cause the child to suffer a lot of sin.
Young parents sometimes have little confidence in parenting and are inevitably intimidated by the momentum of the elderly. If you think about how much scientific knowledge the elderly have, the level of medical care 30 years ago is not comparable to what it is now. The distrust of the elderly in hospitals is related to the lack of scientific literacy of the elderly themselves, and the inability to keep up with the quality of medical care thirty or fifty years ago.
But as a young parent, you must realize that the times are advancing, and you can't rely on these strange ways to withstand the pressure. It is important to be careful not to try home remedies on your child at any time, especially if there is a risk of seeing blood. If your child has a problem, he should go to the hospital.
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1. The child can't be hugged when he cries.
When mothers are new to life, when they see their children crying, they will naturally hug and coax them to prevent them from crying all the time. At the same time, it is also to see if the child is uncomfortable, and think that the child is crying for a reason, such as being hungry, being bitten by mosquitoes, or being sick and uncomfortable.
But the older generation always says that children should not hug them when they cry, because children are very smart, and it is very easy to develop a habit when they cry. After a long time, children will often cry on purpose and let you hold them all the time. Although there is some truth in the statements of the older generation, it also depends on the situation.
If the child is sick and unwell, get the mother's attention by crying. If you don't go to see and check the child's physical condition, if you really have a fever and don't give the child a fever in time, it will lead to brain burning. There are many children with cerebral palsy in life, all of whom are caused by the failure to seek medical attention in time due to fever when they were young**.
Therefore, for the sake of the health of their children, mothers have to take precautions. Even if the child cries and goes to hug the child, there will be a situation that the older generation said, and for the sake of the child's health, the child's crying cannot be ignored.
2. Eat salt before the age of one.
In order to let their children eat more, many elderly people are used to adding salt to their food early. The older generation believes that children always skip meals, or eat less, which can easily lead to malnutrition. Therefore, it is necessary to add salt to the child's diet as soon as possible, and the food made is more flavorful, and the child will naturally love to eat more and eat more.
However, it is best not to eat salt before the child is one year old, otherwise the child's health will be greatly threatened.
For example, if you let your child eat salt too early, it is easy to cause your child to have a bad habit of picky eating when he grows up. It will also make children like heavy food, because they are used to eating food with salt, and when they grow up, less salt food cannot meet their taste needs. If you want your child to eat seriously, you can only add more salt when cooking.
Eating like this for a long time will cause the child's diet to worsen, and it is very easy to get angry.
For example, if you eat salt too early, it can damage your child's heart function. Because children under one year old do not have perfect kidney function, they cannot metabolize sodium out of the body in time. Eating too much salt can cause a large amount of sodium to accumulate in the body, resulting in a large loss of potassium ions in the body, which in turn affects heart health.
How do new mothers properly parent?
1. Appropriately increase or decrease clothes.
Newborn children are the same as adults, they should wear an extra one when it is cold, and take it off in time when it is hot. Don't always feel that they are fragile and afraid of the cold, when dressing children, just wear one more than adults, it is okay, wearing too much will easily cause children to catch cold.
2. Cut your child's nails in time.
Children's metabolism is relatively fast, so their nails grow very quickly. In daily life, children like to scratch indiscriminately, and if they don't cut their nails in time, it is easy to scratch their faces or bodies.
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In order to have a better life and maintain a considerable income at home**, many mothers go out to work when their children are very young and ask the elderly to help take care of them during the day.
It is indeed not easy for elderly grandmothers and grandmothers to help take care of children, and they should be respected more. I have seen some mothers quit their jobs in order to take their children, and bring their children to 3 or 6 years old before returning to the workplace, their families are not very wealthy, but some are well versed in the elderly with babies, and some are determined to take care of their babies no matter what.
Why do children have to bring their own? Someone who came over said the 3 worst parenting advice of the older generation, which is too true, look at how many of them you have won:
1. Put the traditional concept of parenting on the grandchildren.
In "What do you think is the worst parenting advice for the older generation?" In this question, Zhihu user "Luo Weizi" was commented on the most true, the original words were: 0 to 5 years old, when it was time to establish order, the old man said, "He is still a child!"
From 5 to 15 years old, when it is time to build self-confidence, the old man says, "If you don't obey, you have to be beaten and scolded!" ”。
Set rules for the child, as soon as the child cries or is unhappy, the old man jumps out, is this scene very familiar? The next generation is indeed pro, but it is another thing for "pro" to become doting. You can imagine that later, the child is panicked, and the old man says, "Why is this child not assertive?" , the child is too thoughtful, and the old man said, "You kid is really tough, see if I don't beat you."
2. Pay attention to children's food and clothing, and ignore psychological development.
The elderly take the children, as long as the children can eat and drink enough and not make a fuss, it is done. As a result, they are particularly concerned about their children's food and clothing, but they are almost completely indifferent to their children's psychological development. Of course, they didn't do it intentionally, because of the inherent traditional way of raising a baby.
But in fact, children's food and clothing are not so delicate but more conducive to physical health, and children's psychological development is in need of fine care, they because of their unbridled imagination, meticulous observation, strong desire for knowledge sometimes seem disobedient, and the elderly are almost impossible to encourage children's nature, more hope that they can be obedient and honest.
3. Treat children only as children.
If there is any difference between the elderly and modern parents with children, the most essential difference is that the elderly have always treated their children as children, and we will consciously treat children as an equal person.
The goal of the elders with children is that the children do not cry and eat and sleep obediently, so that people can worry about it. The goal of parents with their children is to cultivate their children's ability to live independently, to become a person with a sound personality, and to have the ability to stand in society.
There is no doubt that the elders and parents are for the good of their children, but some of the suggestions of the older generation with babies are not suitable for the current dolls. We should be grateful for the hard work of the elderly, but in the process of parenting, we must agree in principle, and grandparents are not the main force with the baby, because what kind of person we want the child to become, we need to teach it by word and deed.
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